My eyes are closed. Wait. I can feel my eyes. And I don’t feel pain… Wait. Is this the afterlife? No, I’m just hallucinating. I’m just dying. Any moment the lights will go out and I’ll be history. Wait that doesn’t explain the fact that I don’t feel any pain. “Dude will you open your eyes already or not?” I hear from a bit further away from me. Okay maybe I should open my eyes. But again, maybe this is like a test or something? I wouldn’t know. Well, considering the chances of it being a test, which is pretty high all things considered, I should open them.
Because even if it would be a trap, spending an eternity in hell is not a punishment if I’d be able to irritate things like demons and other hellish beings. But that’s only if I’m dead. Alright let’s open them. I open my eyes. I don’t see any demons, but there are no goddesses either. I’m sitting in a mostly dark room, no not even a room a field of darkness which has consumed all light but on one spot.
This light is shining on me. When I look to my left, I see 2 other people sitting on chairs. Now that I think about it, I’m sitting on one as well. The chair is an exact copy of the seats in my car. Well, all it took for me to be convinced that I’m actually dead was to sit in the same seat that I’ve got in my car, not the fact that I’m in a field of darkness or that I don’t feel any pain, it’s because I’m sitting in one of the seats of my damn car that got driven of a damn cliff. I ignore the fact that I’m probably going crazy in the afterlife and look over to the two silhouettes who are sat next to me.
The longer I stare at them the more familiar they become. It’s like I’ve seen them before. Then another light comes down and shines on the other figures. “Aren’t you guys supposed to be vibing in heaven?” I say, shocked to see Andy and Cristian sitting in other seats of my damn car. “Well, I wouldn’t know if I’m honest, one moment I was in a pub enjoying my birthday and the next I’m here.” Andy states, while he’s trying to remember if anything else has happened.
I let out a sigh and say: “Well I’ll give you the short story then; you smacked me with a bottle of beer, I went unconscious, so you decided to drive us to a hospital even though you didn’t know where it was. You just followed the road. Around half an hour after that you drove us of a cliff. And the worst part is that some other idiot was playing drunk and thought it was a good idea to pickpocket me and let a drunk drive with my damn car. So that’s why, Andy, we’re dead.”
Cristian is trying to pretend he isn’t listening and just kind off sits between me and Andy. “Well in my defense I was sleeping through most of the drive, I thought Andy got his license and that he actually was competent.” Cristian nervously spouts out, trying to defend himself. “Well, it doesn’t really matter now does it. We’re all dead. We. Are. Dead. There’s no turning back now. No regretting our actions, no pleading for mercy, no nothing. You want to know why? It’s because we’re dead for Christ’s sake.” I rant finally realizing the stakes of the actions of these idiots.
No. Of my actions. I should’ve been wiser; I shouldn’t have gotten knocked out from a damn bottle of beer. Who would imagine that I’d die because I got knocked out by a beer bottle? Well, no helping that now. Suddenly a light begins to shine about five meters in front of us. A woman, not a girl who looks a little older than us, appears from the sky. She’s got long, orangish hair with purple streaks, about 1, 76 meters tall and wears a beautiful red dress that reaches her feet. She wears no shoes though, but small lime-colored socks. She seems a little stressed though. I wonder why… She genteelly floats down and sits down on a massive throne. She folds her legs, opens her mouth but before she can say anything Cristian jump of his seat, runs up to the girl, inspects her for a few seconds and goes back to his seat.
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Then he pulls on my shirt and whispers: “She’s got pretty big boobs.” The girl looks in our direction and before we even can say anything she declares: “I heard that.” I just sigh and look at Cristian who’s blushing a little. “Excuse my friend here, he was born a pervert.” I state. “It’s alright, although I didn’t expect to hear that the first time, I lead souls to their next life.” she states, while blushing intensely.
“So, we’ve got here Andrean Dimitrov, you would’ve become a world-famous wrestler, Cristian George Gurau, you could’ve become a tax accountant and Louis’ editor in your spare time and lastly Louis, you should’ve become a writer or comedian depending on if your book would’ve been received well.” she sums up from some kind off notebook. “And who might you be?” Andy asks a little rudely. She seems to get a little ticked of, then ashamed and finally says “My bad I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Souru, soon to be goddess of Reincarnation and sending off souls. You are the first souls that will be send of, so ill be getting judged on if I do this correctly. Shall we continue?” “So, you’ve got a massive religion following you?” Cristian asks.
“Yes, soon I will get my own religion…” Souru says while pouting a little. “Can I join it already?” Cristian pleads. “Y-yes of course your ca-an.”: Souru mumbles. “Alright can we please continue?” Andy requests, finally saying something after my outburst. “Ye-es we can, so we’ve got two options for you three: you can get reincarnated in another world with one extra skill you’ll receive from me, or you could go to heaven. You guys choose.” she offers, still a little flustered from Cristian’s request.
“Okay boys I say we get isekai’d.”: Cristian says directly. “Agreed.” Andy says immediately. “Well, I didn’t want to go to heaven that bad anyway.” I decide after a good five seconds of thinking. Now I at least can live again. Maybe I’ll actually get a girlfriend this time.
“Alright we’ve decided Souru. We want to be reincarnated into this other world.” I state with an exited but loud voice. “Okay then which skills do you want?” Souru asks. “I’d love to get a girlfriend easier.” Andy screams. I look at Andy and he begins to look a little scared. “Alright, Greater Seduction you shall receive Andy.” Souru says. “I’d love to be sneakier please.” Cristian spits out. “Then Greater Stealth you shall receive Cristian.”: Souru says again. “And I’d love to be smarter so I could analyze more about that world.” I exclaim. “Then you shall receive Greater Wisdom Louis.”: Souru repeats. “And lastly because you three are the first I reincarnate into the other world I’ll give you all my blessing”: Souru states.
I suddenly feel weird, like I’ve found something I couldn’t find before. Like I’ve been guided. Like I’m more powerful than I used to be. “Well then we will meet again at the end of your lifetime. Goodbye for now.” Souru says and I begin to feel dizzy again. I feel like I’ve been getting dizzy more today then in my entire life. Or my older life. I’m about to start a new one anyway. Then I feel like I’ve been hit in the head and pass out one last time.