The caravan arrived on time, which Cassandra was grudgingly unsurprised by.
“It’s a travel day,” she muttered grimly to her two family members as the foreman of the Short Drop Falls Mines inspected the seals on the wagons’ contents. “We travel a distance. Doesn’t matter if we get into a fight, we travel a distance.”
“And we timeskip over a bunch of the boring shit,” Harriet pointed out. “Which is great! Just sort of stop paying attention and bam, half a day of traveling happened in the past tense. Way better than car rides.” She patted her dad’s knee comfortingly as he glanced at her quizzically. “It’s fine, dad, I’m sure that didn’t happen for you. You’re probably, like, totally in the moment, one hundred percent in your zone, head empty and heart full of live laugh love.”
“I didn’t know you felt that way about car rides,” he murmured in a concerned tone. “Did the geography game get boring? We can find new games.” He nodded to himself decisively. “I’ll look for new games before our next car ride.”
“Maybe Harriet can look for new games,” Cassandra pointed out, eyes tracking across the horizon before returning to the foreman. “Our too-clever daughter keeps pointing out that she’s… what was it? Critically online? No firewall in the galaxy can stop her?”
“Terminally online and meme-pilled. Can’t stop the signal, Mom!”
“I don’t know what that means,” Jason pointed out reasonably, “but I’m sure it’s not something your mother wants to hear, so please remember to be kind? We should all be kind to each other, especially when each of us is all the others have on one of these adventures of ours.”
There was a moment of silence after his earnest reminder, and then a unison harrumph from both of his family members.
“Eyes front,” Cassandra murmured. “Incoming.”
The other two straightened and slouched, as respectively appropriate, as the Caravan Master and the mine foreman approached. Mook looked as vaguely irritable as usual—
Rolling Insight (Charisma) | 1d20+7
Rolling Insight (Wisdom) | 1d20+4
—and Jason’s body language shifted into an apologetic mode even as Cassandra’s shifted towards a more aggressive one.
The foreman, on the other hand, looked grimly pleased, muttering grim imprecations in Dwarvish into his stereotypical beard.
Dwarf
Dwarf Traits
Your dwarf character has an assortment of inborn abilities, part and parcel of dwarven nature.
Ability Score Increase: Your Constitution score increases by 2.
Age: Dwarves mature at the same rate as humans, but they’re considered young until they reach the age of 50. On average, they live about 350 years.
Alignment: Most dwarves are lawful, believing firmly in the benefits of a well-‐‑ordered society. They tend toward good as well, with a strong sense of fair play and a belief that everyone deserves to share in the benefits of a just order.
Size: Dwarves stand between 4 and 5 feet tall and average about 150 pounds. Your size is Medium.
Speed: Your base walking speed is 25 feet. Your speed is not reduced by wearing heavy armor.
Darkvision: Accustomed to life underground, you have superior vision in dark and dim conditions. You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light, and in darkness as if it were dim light. You can’t discern color in darkness, only shades of gray.
Dwarven Resilience: You have advantage on saving throws against poison, and you have resistance against poison damage.
Dwarven Combat Training: You have proficiency with the battleaxe, handaxe, light hammer, and warhammer.
Tool Proficiency: You gain proficiency with the artisan’s tools of your choice: smith’s tools, brewer’s supplies, or mason’s tools.
Stonecunning: Whenever you make an Intelligence (History) check related to the origin of stonework, you are considered proficient in the History skill and add double your proficiency bonus to the check, instead of your normal proficiency bonus.
Languages: You can speak, read, and write Common and Dwarvish. Dwarvish is full of hard consonants and guttural sounds, and those characteristics spill over into whatever other language a dwarf might speak.
“And hello to you, too,” Cassandra snapped. “But if you call me ‘a shit-for-brains surface dweller who probably blows out their mine’s supports with explosives’ again, I’ll fucking shove a candle in your mouth and a ten-foot-pole up your ass and use you as a canary, understand?”
Rolling Persuasion (Charisma) | 1d20+7
“Huh.” The foreman blinked a few times, obviously nonplussed. “You speak Dwarvish. That’s… unusual for a skygirl.”
“I’m a scholar,” the tiefling woman said, as though that was an obviously sufficient explanation, and the foreman shrugged.
“Well, scholar, the shit are you doing here?”
“Scholar’s network sent me,” she said flatly. Then, as if relenting, she shrugged. “Fuck if I know why, honestly. But they gave me a pass on the Tax for the mission, which I couldn’t pass up.”
“Lemme fucking guess.” The foreman hawked and spat to the side. “Your mentor’s Weiz Mhann.”
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“And what did he do this time?”
“Got his ass taken,” the dwarf said simply. “Says he was working his way down a shaft, bunch-a goblins showed up with a couple hobs and a kobold—”
Kobold
Small humanoid (kobold), lawful evil
Armor Class: 12
Hit Points: 5 (2d6 − 2)
Speed: 30 ft.
Stats: 7 | 15 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 8
Senses: darkvision 60 ft., passive Perception 8
Languages: Common, Draconic
Challenge: 1/8 (25 XP)
Sunlight Sensitivity: While in sunlight, the kobold has disadvantage on attack rolls, as well as on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on sight.
Pack Tactics: The kobold has advantage on an attack roll against a creature if at least one of the kobold's allies is within 5 feet of the creature and the ally isn't incapacitated.
Actions
Dagger. Melee Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 4 (1d4 + 2) piercing damage.
Sling. Ranged Weapon Attack: +4 to hit, range 30/120 ft., one target. Hit: 4 (1d4 + 2) bludgeoning damage.
“—and he didn’t feel like dying to traps, we all know the Rule of Tuck, so he went with. Still alive, sends me a Sending every day—”
Sending
3rd-level evocation
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Unlimited
Components: V, S, M (a short piece of fine copper wire)
Duration: 1 round
You send a short message of twenty-five words or less to a creature with which you are familiar. The creature hears the message in its mind, recognizes you as the sender if it knows you, and can answer in a like manner immediately. The spell enables creatures with Intelligence scores of at least 1 to understand the meaning of your message. You can send the message across any distance and even to other planes of existence, but if the target is on a different plane than you, there is a 5 percent chance that the message doesn't arrive.
“—but neither he nor we got any idea where they took him.”
Rolling Insight (Charisma) | 1d20+7
Rolling Insight (Wisdom) | 1d20+4
Rolling Insight (Wisdom) | 1d20-1, Best of 2
“Why does every damn monster we run into have the same, utterly uninspired pack tactics ability?” Cassandra shook her head, dispelling her distraction. “Fine. Whatever. At least the idiot’s still alive. How do we find him?”
“We left the tracks well enough alone.” The foreman shrugged. “Best shot.”
“Oh, come on! Where’s the scry in scry-and-fry?” Harriet glared at the man like he had personally offended her. “What good is magic if we can’t find a person? Or something he’s holding?”
“Scrying,” the foreman snapped, “is fifth fucking level. Do you really think we have someone here who can cast a single fifth level spell?”
Scrying
5th-level divination
Casting Time: 10 minutes
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (a focus worth at least 1,000 gp, such as a crystal ball, a silver mirror, or a font filled with holy water)
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 minutes
You can see and hear a particular creature you choose that is on the same plane of existence as you. The target must make a Wisdom saving throw, which is modified by how well you know the target and the sort of physical connection you have to it. If a target knows you're casting this spell, it can fail the saving throw voluntarily if it wants to be observed. On a successful save, the target isn't affected, and you can't use this spell against it again for 24 hours. On a failed save, the spell creates an invisible sensor within 10 feet of the target. You can see and hear through the sensor as if you were there. The sensor moves with the target, remaining within 10 feet of it for the duration. A creature that can see invisible objects sees the sensor as a luminous orb about the size of your fist. Instead of targeting a creature, you can choose a location you have seen before as the target of this spell. When you do, the sensor appears at that location and doesn't move.
“You’re miners,” Harriet pointed out irritably. “You gotta have some way of finding folks who get lost or something.”
“You’re not wrong. We’ve got someone who can cast Locate Object, sure,” the foreman admitted. “That’s only second level—”
Locate Object
2nd-level divination
Casting Time: 1 action
Range: Self
Components: V, S, M (a forked twig)
Duration: Concentration, up to 10 minutes
Describe or name an object that is familiar to you. You sense the direction to the object's location, as long as that object is within 1,000 feet of you. If the object is in motion, you know the direction of its movement. The spell can locate a specific object known to you, as long as you have seen it up close--within 30 feet--at least once. Alternatively, the spell can locate the nearest object of a particular kind, such as a certain kind of apparel, jewelry, furniture, tool, or weapon. This spell can't locate an object if any thickness of lead, even a thin sheet, blocks a direct path between you and the object.
“—but the range is only a thousand feet. We use it for finding miners’ badges, it ain’t suitable for tracking someone who got taken captive. Like I said, your best bet is taking the cart down to Third Shaft, second spiral, first level, and seeing if you can follow the tracks. I can have someone take you there.”
“Alright.” Cassandra glanced at her daughter and husband. It took only a fraction of a heartbeat for her to confirm that they were on the same page, and then her attention was back on the foreman. “Do that. No point in wasting time.”
He nodded sharply and turned on his heels, calling for whoever’s got candle-watch.
Rolling Perception (Wisdom) | 1d20+1
“Weird,” Harriet muttered to herself, frowning. “Dude’s a kindred soul, but why’s a troublemaker a mine foreman? And what’s with the, like, flaming snake iconography on his outfit, and who even puts studs like that in their clothes?”
“It’s studded leather,” her mother said absently.
Studded Leather
Made from tough but flexible leather, studded leather is reinforced with close-set rivets or spikes.
Cost: 45 gp
Armor Class: 12 + Dex modifier
Strength: -
Stealth: -
Weight: 13 lb.
“It didn’t really exist,” she pointed out with audible irritation as she walked towards the mine entrance. “But people sure think it did, and I guess that’s good enough for this shitshow.”