Tom was always surrounded by fricken giants. Always rude, getting in his way.
"fr..ng bloody c..ts, the lot of them" He growled under his breath.
He angrily stalked across the street, ignoring the blithering laughter of the idiots behind him.
"BeeeeeP!" A bastard of a horn sounded out as a blasted whit van knocked Tom to the ground.
His ideal stature saved him from much injury, the ahole of a driver and his piece of excrement vehicle drove on without even noticing him.
"Watch where your fu...ng going you bi...h of a c...t" He yelled potently at the sky.
"beep beep" A modestly sized golf cart warned as it struck him in the head, killing him instantly.
***
Tom woke up with the mother of all headaches.
"Stupid bloody .... .... .... ... ...." He grumbled.
A blue screen appeared.
Tom grabbed it and ripped it in half, swearing profoundly at his hallucination.
Tom twisted this box heavily, hoping it could feel pain.
It disappeared, another showing up.
Tom read it for a moment, was it saying something about his majestic stature?.
"F you, your mother was secretly a shade of aqua" He roared.
This time when he grabbed the box, he broke it strategically, making a set of knives.
The edges glowed with error messages and sparks.
"ROOOAAR" A mighty beast, a hog twice his size appeared from nowhere.
[Small juvenile war-hog] a box appeared above it.
"Bloody piece of undercooked bacon" Tom growled.
The enormous hog took offense at this and charged.
Tom ducked underneath it and stabbed it in the stomach with his brand new blue knives.
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"SQUEEEL" The piggy squeeled in pain, and Tom relished in it.
"Serves you right you nascent sausage!"
The boar collapsed with a mighty thump.
[Congratulations! you have def...]
This time tom grabbed it and crushed it into powder.
He grabbed some sticks and quickly build himself a fire, sprinkling the sparkling dust to light it.
He quickly made himself some righteous bacon.
****
"Should we do something?" One worried god asked another.
"No, this is way too entertaining"
****
Tom strode into town with his new leather armor, still dripping with blood.
He found the nearest thing that looked like an inn and strolled in.
After climbing up the ridiculously tall stools, he called out.
"Oi, I need a drink here!"
A young man appeared, walking over to him.
The idiot looked down at Tom.
"I'm sorry, ever since the demon lord took over, hes taken all our alcohol..."
"Bloody fu... messing everything up. sick of fixing other peoples messes" He grumbled in rage.
He strode straight up to the castle, the worthless tall-folk guards and soldiers not even seeing him, their air headed brains kept them looking into the clouds.
He walked right up to the throne, an imposing piece of rotten garbage sat there, surrounded by excess and wealth.
"I have a bone to pick with you! Mate!"
"A hero? but where are you? Your stealth is impressive"
"Down here asswipe!" Tom said, as he brutally punched the dictator in the family jewels.
"oof" The air was driven from his lungs, and Tom took the moment to make the world a nicer place.
***
A portal opened, and a radiant being walked through.
"Congratulations hero..."
"Took you long enough!" Tom said, as he drove his fist where the sun seemed to shine from.
"Urrrk" The being bent over in pain, as Tom strode through the portal behind him.