David while sitting a slab of rock, thought to himself, “How in the hell am I going to acquire food, let alone make a fucking fire” As David sat there he just thought and thought until he relized something, “Wait, new body, unfamiliar world and how the fuck am I not cold, this is.. A GOD MOTHERFUCKING DAMN ISEKAI”.
He pranced up and down like an idiot, if anyone could see him they would think he had an inferior mental capacity. As he did this like an alcoholic in a drunken stupor he fell and knocked himself on the rock he was previously sitting on.
As he woke up it was now the crack of dawn and not only was he now cold, he was voraciously hungry and was extremely dehydrated. “ Why the cunt-bootstrap is it cold-d-d-d now” David said while shivering like a vibrator. David stood up and felt pain on the left side of his skull, while leaning on a tree he felt some dried blood and proceed to exclaim, “Im a fucking dumbass, now as I stand here I feel my whole body dying so its probaby smart to get my ass moving”. David started roaming north; he did not know that, after all his only possessions are a pair of cloth pants.
After some time David managed to find a run down shack it was made of timber and had an eeriness to it after all a part of the roof was collapsed and the door was rotted and currently on the porch.It was a big shack only about 4 or 5 meters long and same in width.
The collapsed roof was made to look like a shed roof, actually it just looked like a shed, yep a shed. While grasping his body David screamed out, “Holy Jesus fuck” With little to zero energy he pracally threw himself into the dilapidated shack. The inside of the shack was a wood fire stove and two wooden chairs one broken and another that looked stable enough, David sat on the chair holding his entire body in desperation to not freeze to death, he said, “H-How am I goin-g-g to start a fire”, David while thinking to himself “remembered that this is a isekai world and if the slim possibility that magic exist he could possibly use it.
“Fuck it, wont hurt to try” David gathered the pieces of the broken chair and shoved then into the wood stove, took a deep breath and shouted “FIRE BALL”.
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Nothing happened, what do you expect? It's a isekai but not a good one.
“Shit-t-t” David said, with a hopeless look on his face.
He decided to look around and he spotted a closet to the left of him behind the section of the shack that was buried in by the collapsed roof.
With all his pathetic little strength left in his body he climbed over the rubble and cleared it out haphazardly to be able to open the wooden closet, what he found made him the happiest loser in this new world he was in.
cloth being moved around sounds “It's a bit small”
What David had found was a fur jacket, that was made out of what looked like wool that was stitched on the inside and some type of crudely made leather patched together to form a jacket. He also found a pair of brown leather boots that went up to his mid calves. He put all of it on and as expected, it did not fit. The jacket was small enough that it would not button together and the boot squeezed his feet like canned mackerel. Another treasure was also found in this shed, a piece of sharpened flint and a small hatchet that looked worn and the blade was dull.
Wasting zero time he tried to start a fire only using the flint, the hatchet and the pieces of chair that he chucked into the stove.
As expected it did not work, But he was persistent. David violently hitting the head of the axe against the flint to produce sparks in the pile of wood he shouted everytime he hit it, “It..wont..fucking...WORK” David said while only thinking of the warmth a fire would bring his cold hands. Then like an epiphany David looked down and saw he indeed had a very flammable thing on his person.
“Still cant feel some of my fingers but this is a godsend”, David said while chucking the last piece of the chair into the roaring fire. You ask well what did he use as a fire starter? His wool jacket, his pants? No he used his pubic hair as a fire starter, yes the degenerate use his dick hair as a way to start a fire and warm his hands, and he did not regret it.