"I'm leaving."

When I spoke those words to my father, I don't exactly know what I'd expected. Some small part of me had hoped that he would have any reaction that wasn't pure indifference. And for a second my mind believed that he's shown slight surprise and worry.

I knew better, those were the thoughts of a little boy grasping at straws.

The delusions of a child hoping that his father actually cared.

His face remained impassive as he looked at me. All the while he continued to sharpen his spear. Never once did he falter in motions.

"Good luck in your travels then." That was his only response. That was it, nothing else followed after that. His attention had returned to his task.

I should have left at that point, but my mouth seemed to have a will of its own. "I wanted to tell you just in case you actually give a shit, but clearly you don't." My voice was low when I spoke, I could feel my anger threatening to spill over.

He didn't immediately respond; he just simply raised his eyebrow at me. " I thought you were supposed to be the smart one. What exactly did you expect?"

"You know what, I don't know exactly what I expected. Maybe a little bit of concern, perhaps a little indication that you might care." My throat was tightened as I spoke. All the while he continued to grind the spear.

He stopped his work and inspected it once over before turning to me. "Don't die."

He got up and left the room.

I'd long stopped trying to gain his admiration and care, but this conversation hurt no less. I'm very grateful that it took place though, I could finally put to rest any doubts that had lingered in my mind over the years.

That had been rather uncharacteristic of me, but I'd learned that bottling up emotions ended up causing more damage in the long run. Better to let it out now rather than later, I didn't want to do anything that I would regret.

As I walked back to my room, I calmed myself and regained control of my emotions.

We each had our individual rooms; the temple was large enough that even though more than half of it was warded off we still didn't occupy all the rooms.

Mine was a little further away from the entrance than most. It was hidden behind multiple winding passages and a flight of stairs going down.

My things were already packed and ready to go. The little bag that I had was made of the large leaves and fur from a couple of different beasts. It was held together by sap and thread that mother had managed to make.

She'd gifted it to me when I went to tell her that I was leaving. She'd already known of my decision beforehand. Sometimes I wondered if she knew of these things before, we even knew of them.

The little wood carving of a cross was nice little touch. A small gesture from her but it still made me smile a little. She didn't have to do it but she still did. It would in fact make more sense if she was the distant one. Knowing things in advance meant that the joy of surprise was often not there. Things weren't as interesting or exciting anymore, even with my false title I felt a small part of that boredom

Yet, she at least tried to care and compared to my father that was more than enough. Though I did at times question if she did it because she cared or because the winds told her that it would be the best option?

I quickly threw away that thought, there was no point ruining what little good existed.

I collected my bag and water skin before grabbing my spear from the entrance of my room. The bag wasn't filled with too much. I'd wanted to pack more inside but I didn't want it to become too annoying.

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While the weight wasn't an issue the texture and fragility of the bag were one. As I walked out of the temple, I was still surprised that I was going through with my words.

I had thoughts of leaving before many times, but they were always hampered by the realization that I would probably end up dead. That fact was still very much relevant today, 3 water deer working together would guarantee my death.

In this particular instance, I had been thinking about leaving for months perhaps even a year. I needed to grow, and I wouldn't do that here. This place was too stifling for me. I cared for my siblings, but we didn't often see things the same way. That plus my continuously growing resentment towards my father wasn't very helpful. I usually had a tight grip, but I'd rather let it all out in this journey.

Plus, I was honestly getting tired of seeing the same place every day of my life. I'd lived here for over 12 years, now I needed to explore the world and see different things. It would help me grow as a person and get a little more perspective or die, whichever came first.

I had already said all my goodbyes to everyone. They had each been told individually, I didn't want to make a huge fuss of the whole situation.

They didn't know exactly when I was leaving, and I preferred it that way. Knowing my siblings, they would have gathered up together for a grand goodbye.

That was much too final for my liking, it wasn't as if I planned to never return. This was the only place with others of my kind, of course, I would return.

As I was leaving the temple grounds I hid as best as I could so that no one would see me. I did almost make it out but as I passed behind the last pillar I came face to face with my mother. Having lived with her for so many years you would think that I would've gotten used to her always knowing everything, but I was still always caught off guard.

"You forgot your hunting knife" Quickly I checked my sides and realized that she was indeed correct.

"Thank you".

"Don't go too far. It gets more dangerous the further out you go." She said as she straightened out my clothing.

"I know."

"I also can't see you if go further.

I was surprised by this fact but didn't speak about it.

"Stay safe," she said before pulling me into a hug, my throat tightened.

"Thank you"

..............

As I walked past the sky-piercing tree that marked the end of what could be considered our territory.

I couldn't help but take a look back.

I was putting my life at risk for self-discovery and growth. My father while an absolute asshole was a powerful man, at least in comparison to me and he had lost his arm out in these wildlands.

Mother had said that the lands were safer now, but I didn't plan to just stay around these areas.

The possibility of coming back alive was small and for a second I honestly wanted to walk back and continue to live my regular life. It wouldn't be the most exciting experience, but I would be safe.

The problem was that I was too prideful, I wouldn't return without having proven to myself that I'd accomplished what I'd set out to do.

I couldn't return.

The rustling of leaves above me grabbed my attention and I quickly got into an offensive stance.

Looking up I was surprised.

"Marco?" Somehow, my brother had managed to sneak up on me unnoticed. Had I really been that deep in my own thoughts?

Gliding down from the tree he said "You know you can always stay man. We're all going to miss you if you leave. I mean maybe not a dad, but I'll definitely miss your annoying face." he landed in front and looked me in the face as he finished speaking.

"I know that, but I just don't really feel comfortable here," I said as I turned away from our territory. "Thanks for coming, but there's nothing you can say that will change my mind."

"You seemed pretty indecisive a couple seconds ago." He said as he raised one eyebrow. A motion that reminded me too much of our father.

I turned away from him, "I was simply reminiscing."

"Uh-huh, so you look constipated when you reminisce?"

"Shut up Marco."

He would usually keep going when I said that but for once he did keep quiet.

There was an awkward silence.

And the next thing I know I was enveloped in another hug and tears were falling on my clothes.

Marco and I had been close, I had basically raised this kid, this loud annoying loving kid.

"I'm going to be even greater when I'm back. So, don't even worry about it." I wiped his tears as I spoke.

"That would imply that you were great before you left." We both laughed at that. After a moment of silence, I spoke " Get back to the temple."

I could see the hesitation in his face but quickly after he left.

"Don't die, idiot."

.............

I walked further than I ever had before. I had decided not to head to the plains the open terrain would not help me in case of danger. Instead, I walked towards the river.

There were a lot more trees along the river that I could rest in if ever got tired.

I could also fish or hunt water deer that had strayed far away from their herds.

We didn't know the source of this river nor did we know where it ended so that seemed like a nice little mystery to be solved. That plus the fact that it was the only source of water that I knew of had shaped my decision.

As I walked alongside the river, I met several small herds of water deer that required that I go around them. I also saw some other less seen herbivores like the verdant rabbits and aegis buffalos.

I didn't see any large predators, but I did see some small ones. I had seen them before, but they started to pop up more frequently.

I was worried I might run into an apex predator but so far mother's words held true.

The River led me through valleys filled with short green grass. I was taken past herds of creatures that I'd only ever seen occasionally. There were flowers and plants I hadn't seen before and of course, there were insects.

The next couple of days were very much the same, it was just me walking further and further away from home taking in the new surroundings as much as possible.

My eyes feasted on an array of new and bizarre animals living their lives.

I wasn't bold enough to hunt any of them.

I didn't want to hunt one and find later that they had an ability similar to the water deer.

It would be stupid of me to engage them without information.

So, for the first couple of days, I feasted on fish and slept in trees. The journey had been rather pleasant until it started to rain.

It was at that point that the honeymoon phase of the journey came to its unfortunate end.

Hunting for fish gradually became more difficult. The beasts were more territorial and aggressive. The number of predators started to rise even though they weren't what I would consider apex predators.

The insects were persistent and some of them were beginning to reach sizes that I wasn't quite comfortable with.

My clothes had grown holes, my feet were tired, I was hungry, and I was sick of the seemingly endless amounts of rain.

My skin was purple from where I'd unwittingly touched a poisonous plant and my body was riddled with red bumps from insect bites.

It hadn't even been a week yet.

Apparently, I'd decided I would be doing this for years.