(NERV Game Site – Official DAtS Offline Forums)

Number5Alive, Golddigger, BurtBacharach, CrazyCelt, M.Mollen, DoYouEvenLyft?, MarcoPolo, MightMakesRight, l44tpally, Lord_Kickass, Requiesce-in-Pace, MacD, HaveGunsWillTravel, Guardian, GunKitty, ElfMama, Not_the_Face!, Anonymous3, Anonymous9, AggregatorOfSorrows, LeashLord, WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot, Dolcett, Backlog, DarkAvariel, Knocker, GrimDark, BloodForTheBloodGod, Queen’s_Bitch, BackDat@55Up, DoYouEvenDPS?, and DarkAngel are in the chat.

l44tpally: HOLY SHIT! Did you see the news on Jagloth?

GrimDark: The elves may be Xenos, but they do good work with an Exterminatus.

CrazyCelt: What prompted them to drop the hammer?

M.Mollen: The dumbass who started the whole thing outed himself to me in a play to try and get off-world.

Knocker: So?

M.Mollen: So I gave his coordinates to the quarantine ships anonymously. They used kinetic strikes on his location. After that, the asshole launched a bunch of missiles that carried nanites, and infected the rest of the planet.

Not_the_Face!: Damn. Decided that subtlety was a thing of the past?

LeashLord: Everything was going fine until he ruined everything!

Dolcett: YOU FUCKING TWO BIT CUM GARGLING—

KarmaBot (Admin): Dolcett has been muted for 2 minutes.

M.Mollen: So anyways, the rest you can see on the news reports. The quarantine group lost one ship, but the last remaining station in orbit was saved, and they exterminated all life on the planet with extreme prejudice.

DarkAvariel: No kidding. That BCV they fired burned off the entire atmosphere, boiled away all the water, and slagged the surface.

LeashLord: I was fucking trapped in a fallout shelter, but whoever was in charge of keeping it stocked went more for booze and drugs than food. And when I die, I’m locked to respawning on the surface! There’s no atmosphere there!

MightMakesRight: So reset.

LeashLord: The company locked my account! I can log in, but I can’t reset, can’t delete or trade the character, and I can’t even create a new account!

BloodForTheBloodGod: So in other words, all you can do is either spawn suffocating in vacuum repeatedly, or quit the game forever?

LeashLord: Yeah.

BloodForTheBloodGod: Brutal. I like it!

GrimDark: For once I agree with the heretic.

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M.Mollen: A fitting punishment for someone who deliberately tried to break the game. Hell, they probably only kept you around and didn’t delete you altogether so that you can serve as an example to keep others from trying the same thing.

LeashLord: Shut the fuck up, backstabber.

M.Mollen: I’m a liar, cheat, and a scoundrel, but I’m not the one who started reading from the Idiot’s Guide to Starting the Apocalypse. Dumbass.

Lord_Kickass: Can someone come rescue me on Dabara? I managed to convince the guy who rescued me to not send me on the nanite mission. Unfortunately, he still made me get the gender swap, and now I’m an indentured servant (read: slave) and am doing… videos to pay off the debt. Why didn’t someone tell me what ‘Vore’ was before I signed that contract?

GunKitty: AHAHAHAHAHA!

Guardian: Damn, son. Or is it sister now?

DarkAngel: Sucks to be you. Always read the fine print!

WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot: What is Vore?

BurtBacharach: *cough*

DoYouEvenLyft?: Heh-heh…

M.Mollen: Dolcett, you want to take that one?

Dolcett: Hehe. Well, Vore is basically a fetish that revolves around people getting eaten, either during or after sex. Sometimes before (the internet is strange). Includes both cannibalism and monsters eating people.

GrimDark: So… you’re getting repeatedly fucked, killed, and eaten, and they’re selling the videos of that to pay off your debt?

Lord_Kickass: Yeah.

GrimDark: DAMN! And I thought 40K was brutal!

M.Mollen: Ooh, my AI just found one of his videos. Lady Kickass vs. the Ogre Lord.

Guardian: Movie night on the Raven!

Lord_Kickass: Just shoot me now.

Requiesce-in-Pace: You can’t afford it.

M.Mollen: Oh look, another one! Lady Kickass and the Brentwood Society.

Dolcett: Hmm. I might need to visit Dabara. For reasons.

M.Mollen: Getting hungry, Dolcett? Or looking to go on the menu?

Dolcett: Both?

BurtBacharach: *backs away slowly*

MacD: Yeah, so… um, you have fun, Kicky, and I’m going to be over here drinking until I forget I ever read this.

Queen’s_Bitch: Don’t kink-shame. Sure, it is a weird fetish, but doing it in virtual means you get the whole experience without all the death and criminal charges. Not my thing, but I don’t judge.

l44tpally: Moving on to ANYTHING ELSE…

M.Mollen: Anyone know the situation on Dimiya?

ElfMama: Everything’s quiet, for now. Normal political stuff, but this is the knelfi homeworld, and knelfi live as long as elves, so…

Guardian: So they play the long game, instead of the crazy stuff you see in the Empire?

ElfMama: Yeah.

M.Mollen: Good, I look forward to a nice, easy payoff for taking refugees out of Jagloth, and then some nice, simple profitable trading runs.

GunKitty: Aww, what’s the matter? I thought you were having fun?

M.Mollen: Yeah, but it’d be great to have a bit of a vacation before finding the next crisis. Maybe do some nice, relaxing pirate hunting?

HaveGunsWillTravel: You know you just jinxed us, right?

Guardian: Uh-oh.

Backlog: Your people know you so well, M.Mollen.

M.Mollen: A man can dream, can’t he?

Guardian: Stop dreaming, we’re watching the idiot’s movies now!

GunKitty: Poor man, trapped on a ship full of women, and most of them constantly want his… attention.

BackDat@ssUp: Well, I wish I had half his problems, then.

Dolcett: Slave market is that way. As long as you have credits, you can get yourself a pretty young thing to always enjoy your ‘charms’ whenever you want.

BackDat@ssUp: True, but it isn’t quite the same.

M.Mollen: No, it isn’t. But even slaves can come to be very demanding of their masters, wanting more attention all the time. Right, Guardian?

Guardian: Hehe!

HaveGunsWillTravel: Shameless hussy.

Guardian: As if you’re any better, or do you think Raven didn’t show us what happened the last time you snuck on the bridge saying you were going to learn to pilot the ship.

GunKitty: She definitely got a lot of ‘stick time’, but I’m not sure it was the right kind.

M.Mollen: You see what I have to put up with all the time? Harems are tough.