Interview with a Dirtbag

Chapter 26 - Harley (Oops, I did it again)

Michael’s night would have been plagued with regret if he had let the meeting with Linnet, amplified by Joph’rena, get to him. It didn’t with the assistance of the chronic habit he’d developed.

I’m only smoking as a sleep aid, Michael thought, it’s fine. Smoking the first time felt like my brain was giving me a hug. There were even citations: “Remember how good that event was? And the events that preceded it?” I can’t actually remember what the good events my brain was hugging me about but they were good. Good enough to try again.

Problem is, it’s never been that kind of good since. The subsequent times since, instead of highlighting the good, I get flashes of good and then flashes of bad. Not bad memories, but visions of bad. Or an ache or a pain flares up worse than it was when I was sober. Speaking of that, I ought to go to a dentist sometime.

The night had eventually led to a deep sleep after some flashes of pain and panic. The morning, however, seemed to be and ought to have continued to be business as usual. Then he remembered, today’s appointments included Harley.

What if Linnet has spoken to Harley? How could that sour the meeting today?

The time to find out came sooner than Michael wanted. He and Bill had talked to several other folks from the base today and were in the middle of filing complaints when Harley charged into the room. Michael took inventory of what he saw; Harley wore the purple camouflage uniform similar to what most everyone else who’d visited their office had worn, except hers was significantly dirtier. Grease stains of varying ages overlapped on her sleeves. Her dark brown ears were tied back like a ponytail behind her head. The brown fur around her eyes was split down the middle by white fur that started under her collar and went straight up her face and ended at a point somewhere at the top of her head. Her muzzle and cheeks were mottled with fresh oil from her day’s duty in the mechanic shop.

“I can’t believe Serca’s last words were for you!” Harley launched at Michael before she could even close the door.

“Damn!” Bill exclaimed then sat back in his chair.

“I couldn’t believe it either. Believe me, I wish they could have been heard by any of you.” Michael admitted.

Taken aback by the quick and seemingly honest reply, Harley paused. Bill looked between the two wide eyed; he then grabbed an empty popcorn bucket that he had on his side of the office and pretended to dig in as the accusations flew.

Michael nodded his head in agreement, as if to say that he didn’t really expect to be so quick himself.

“Well,” Harley paused again, “Then you know how we feel about knowing that?”

“Shitty.” There wasn’t any other way to say it, Michael thought.

Harley pressed her pointer finger on Michael’s desk and drew a question mark with its pad as she spoke, dotting the bottom with the tip of her fingernail, “Then you know that you should feel bad about it?”

“Awful.” Michael widened his eyes in exasperation, “Most every day.” He stared blankly in the distance.

Harley drummed the rest of her fingers on his desk, seeming to enjoy the hollow noise it made, “Then you know that we know that romanticizing a woman’s last words after she’s been shot in the head is a ridiculous concept?”

Michael looked from side to side, “Uh, now I do.”

“Did you think we were ‘for real’ mad?” Harley leaned in, she opened her mouth under her stubby muzzle creating a widening smile.

Michael’s head bowed slightly, “I mean, yeah.” He shrugged weakly.

Harley leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms, “Ok well, now that you know all that, what else would you like to talk about?”

Bill had been expecting much more volleying between the two and had tried to subtly heat up some actual popcorn. Every attempt to unseal the wrapper had been a little too loud so he’d stepped out for a second. He returned in time for this anticlimactic conclusion to the discussion.

Michael leaned in across his desk and whispered, “Did you really think that me and Bel’a and Linnet were doing it?”

“Doing it?” Harley lifted an eyebrow.

Bill smiled mischievously and sat down with his popcorn bucket. Michael turned his hands up as though the answer should be obvious. Harley replied with a similar expression to his.

Michael then did what any reasonable person would do with a circle in one hand and his pointer finger extended on the other when talking about sex.

Harley chided Michael, “I know, but I’d hate for you to lose an opportunity to simulate intercourse with your hands.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.” Michael grinned back at her. “Yeah, is that what you really thought, though?”

Harley scoffed, “Of course. The three of you were piled on top of each other in the bend of your broken bed. It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to figure out that two plus two equals four.”

“We weren’t. We were actually just talking about this very thing.”

Harley furrowed her brows to connect the dots. She then seemed to understand that he meant that they were talking about Serca’s last words, not doing it. She drew her lips beyond her teeth, “Dang. That is, like, the polar opposite of ‘doing it’.”

Michael nodded. “But sometime later there was a suspicious ‘Awwoo’ that came from Bill’s side of the apartment.”

Harley chuckled to herself and looked at Bill. Bill licked the popcorn butter off his fingers before replying, “Call of the wild, dude,” and winked at Harley.

“You saw me, Bel’a and Linnet on the floor from my broken bed and interpreted that as the ‘call of the wild’?” Michael retorted.

Bill screwed his face up as if he’d smelt a fart, “Ew, no bro, we were looking at Britney.”

Harley savored the name in her mouth, “Britney.”

“Britney?” Michael asked. He thought back to the things he’d helped Bill move onto base, Did he have a Britney Spears poster?

“My AR-15.” Bill looked at Michael incredulously, “Britney!”

Harley breathed in deeply, “I can’t say that it’s terribly effective against Shil’vati defenses, but it is a thing of beauty.”

“When I get that laser site, that banana clip, that extended stock-“

Bill was interrupted by an urgent moan from Harley, “Oh Empress, I love it when you talk about Britney!” She stood up from her chair, stepped up to Bill’s desk, pulled him up from his seat buttery fingers and all, and whisked him off of his feet. After a moment of getting himself reoriented, Bill mentioned his saber and Harley swooned again. Her whole head swung back at the thought and her ears came loose. Her wavy dark brown ears sandwiched her face. She pulled Bill toward her face and kissed him.

Michael hadn’t actually taken the time to register who Harley reminded him of; her ears were long and loose, but she’d kept them tied back in a more base-appropriate fashion. The waviness of her hair, the white and caramel pelt, Michael couldn’t help but think of cocker spaniels he’d seen sometime in his life. Though smudged as she usually was from her mechanical work in the garage, he thought of her more as the Tramp than the Lady. He knew the effortless hold of a Rakiri, but he hadn’t been so dramatically manhandled as Bill had been just now.

Harley turned as though to take Bill away to a rendezvous surrounded by rifles and swords, Michael stopped her, “Hey! Before you go, what can you tell me about Elinsys?”

It was as though a dark veil had covered her face, after a moment, Harley replied, “Best commander I ever had. She made the tough decisions. Ultimately, decisions that saved a lot of lives.”

Bill had to reorient himself again, as he had been anticipating a romp before Michael had asked his question and Harley’s mood had changed so abruptly. Still, he remained pressed between her iron arms and her chest. He wheezed, “Mommy.”

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Her previous humor returned, “The only life I’m concerned with right now, is this fella’s.” Harley smiled and nipped at Bill’s ear. Bill recoiled slightly before yipping in a high pitch and smiling broadly.

“Ok.” Michael shook his head, “I guess you’re dismissed. Thank you for your time!” He waved in slow, over dramatic arcs as Harley hoisted Bill out of the office. Harley practically swung Bill into a cluster of Shil’vati Marines who were loitering outside of their office; drawn, no doubt, by the scent of Bill’s mints. They peeked into the office and saw Michael looking at them sternly. He gestured for them to go away as well.

When they were gone, Michael started to think about the ramifications of what Harley had said. He had spent the last day worrying about what Linnet had been thinking about when he told her about Serca being killed by Rachel. Rachel, the rebel with whom he had had a relationship in a previous life. But Harley didn’t care. Why did Linnet? I’m sure they have two different experiences, but if one can be pragmatic, why can’t they both be pragmatic? Fuck it, I’ve got to talk to Linnet.

Michael packed up his stuff, plopped a piece of gum in his mouth and headed out of his office. Setting the lock mechanism, he almost tripped over one of Bill’s shoes. I guess where they’re going they don’t need shoes. He picked it up and tucked it under his arm.

It was still hard for Michael to believe that he worked a walkable distance from where he lived. He’d always had to have some sort of drive, even when he lived a few blocks from an office he used to have, he’d still drive his car. That’s one of the perks and hardships of having a job that could have you out on call at any time. That wasn't the case here. Here, the work came to him. It was more of a walk than he would have wanted, but he wouldn’t have wanted to march there as was required of a regular pt program. Beyond that, there was no place to park near the office.

His white Buick LaCrosse was a cartoonish clash amongst the purple rainbow of the Shil’vati base. Michael took a peek inside. I ought to clean this thing out sometime, he thought. First, though, he needed to clean out his heart.

He opened the door to the barracks, as they were, and stepped into the common room which was furnished the same way as the first one he’d come into with Serca and Pennar’dun. It was, of course, much cooler. There was a large common area with a sunken center that was filled with a U-shaped sectional that faced a large television and entertainment center. Around the pentagon-shaped building were ten doors. There were two doors on each wall. One door led to a room that was shared by Bill and Michael with beds on opposite walls as he’d seen in Serca and Pennar’dun’s room. He imagined most of them were set up the same way with the others holding Linnet and Bel’a, Fala and Harley, as well as Ssgt Remington and Finley paired together. At one end of the room was the entrance where Michael stood. Across the room from him was the common bathroom. Ah yes, his memory came to him unbidden, the communal bathroom like the one he sought to escape from Pennar’dun in, not so long ago.

Michael closed his eyes and stood for a moment to bask in the coolness. When he opened them, he took in the shape of the room. I sure hope Harley took Bill to her room, he thought as he scanned. The only ones in the common room were Fala and Bel’a; they were curled up on the sectional in relaxed purple PT gear watching some sort of nature program.

“Get away!” Fala yelled at the screen. Michael heard a familiar voice accompany the video. The images were a horrifying depiction of an iguana trying to maneuver a landscape filled with snakes. Snoop Dogg was a captivating narrator, Michael grinned in admiration. Fala gripped Bel’a’s arm as the action continued. Bel’a growled at the snakes on the screen.

When the action was over and the iguana was finally safe, Michael asked where Linnet was. “She’s in our room.” Bel’a replied as she motioned to the door.

“Thank you kindly,” Michael thanked her as he gave her a fist bump and squeezed gently on Fala’s shoulder. Fala squeezed back absentmindedly, still reeling from the narrow escape.

Michael started to head to his and Bill’s room, but thought better of it. Instead he stepped up to Linnet and Bel’a’s door and knocked. “Hey Linnet? It’s Michael. Do you have a minute?”

Linnet acquiesced. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Michael hesitantly opened the door to see Linnet on her bed wearing her purple camo pants and a solid eggplant colored camisole. She was tooling around on her omnipad, though he suspected that that was what she’d taken up knowing that he was coming through the door. “Hey,” he began, “about yesterday...”

Linnet’s tail had been unconsciously wagging until he brought up their meeting; now it slowed down to a stop. “Yes?” It began to wag again, more suspiciously.

“I’m not going to make it a habit of talking about my individual meetings with everyone, but I did just speak to Harley.” Michael preapologized only for Linnet to interrupt him.

“Yeah, I saw her carrying Bill to your room. Seemed like Bill was being kidnapped, but his face said it was in a good way.” Linnet twitched an ear, “It sounded like it was in a good way after they closed the door.”

“Great.” Michael replied flatly. Then trying again, “Our meeting was heavy, to say the least.”

“It was, Michael,” Linnet’s brows furrowed. “I’m sorry I just bailed, but it was a lot.”

“I didn’t invite Joph’rena.”

“None of us ever do.”

“So can we unpack it a bit?”

Linnet was reluctant still, but nodded in agreement.

“I had a relationship with Rachel.” Michael was again cut off by Linnet.

She snarled, “Rachel the Murdering Rebel.”

Michael put his stuff from the office down on the floor by the door and approached her bedside. “Can you appreciate that there have been a lot of changes for me, for humanity, in the recent past?” Linnet waved permission for him to get onto the bed, so he sat with a leg crossed and the other dangling to the floor. She nodded. “But can you? How long have you lived under the Shil’vati Imperium?”

“My whole life,” she admitted.

“This is just a few years for me. We went from not knowing aliens–forgive the term–were real to being overtaken by them. I mean, some people had suspected and some people we’d considered bonkers had told us that this was going to happen, but nobody here on Earth had taken it seriously.” Michael smiled incredulously, “We were still worried about how to afford life before the Shil’vati got here and took over.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Michael continued. “I was trying to figure out how to pay for student loans.” Seeing Linnet’s head tilt to the side, “I was told my whole life that I was going to go to college and get a job and be a functioning member of society. Encouraged, reassured, that that was the thing to do. When I got to the other side of it I realized that I’d signed a contract saying that I’d pay thousands of dollars to a school where the teachers told me to read books and they’d test how well I could read and comprehend them. I paid a school to pay teachers to tell me to pay for books that I spent my time on-”

Linnet interjected again, “All of that got you here. And we appreciate all of your efforts along your path. I’m sure you appreciate the Imperium taking over your economy to relieve you of that stress.” She put a paw on his knee. “Despite it still being on your mind.”

Michael looked up from his depressing, rambling memory and into Linnet’s eyes, “It was stressful. Humans, not unlike the Rakiri, seek distractions from our stress.”

“You found distraction in that rebel.”

“She wasn’t a rebel at the time. Add divorce to the money stress. Then it turned out my distraction, Rachel, was even more stress. The longer I was with her, the more I recognized that I was in a cycle. Rachel was Jessica all over again; not that they were the same person, but it seemed like my relationship was going through the same motions.” Michael squeezed the bedding beside him, “I never really broke up with Rachel. Not really. I-” He stopped to take a breath. “I’m kind of a dirtbag.”

Linnet leaned forward and put her forehead on his as if to reassure him.

“She wasn’t a rebel at the time. She was a distraction. I didn’t really care for her as a person who would stay in my life. I didn’t know what my life would look like. Planning wasn’t and kind of isn’t my forte.” Michael took a shuddering breath, “Hell, maybe I’m the reason Rachel became a rebel. My breaking up with her, the invasion, all of these things all happened at the same time. It was a bad time.”

Linnet embraced Michael. “Thank you.”

Michael tried not to get tears on her, “For what?”

“I was trained to kill rebels. I was never trained to think of them as people. Your story makes me realize that rebels are just people. People who were hurt and want to find relief for that pain by hurting others. Maybe you were a cause of Rachel’s hurt, but you didn’t make her join a rebellion. You didn’t make those decisions for her.” Linnet kissed Michael on the cheek.

“I’ve tried to tell myself that time and time again, but that doesn’t help nearly as much as telling someone about it, getting a new perspective.” Michael admitted.

Linnet pushed Michael up so that she could look him in the eyes, “Don’t you see the good you’re doing here?”

Michael chuckled, “Big lot of good, I’m in here crying and Bill’s in our room playing ‘Hide the Pickle‘ with Harley.”

“We are all learning what we need by speaking our truth. Holding our stresses inside was causing conflicts within ourselves and each other. I wonder what would happen if you met with Joph’rena like you’re meeting with us.”

Michael wiped his face, “Fat chance. That woman is made of stone.”

“Maybe, maybe not; if you can help me see the rebellion in a new light, maybe you could help her too.”

“I’m just glad that we’re ok.” Michael then questioned, “We are ok, right?”

“Yeah. We’re good.” Linnet grabbed Michael, pulled him close and put them both in line on her bed.

“Can I stay here for a while?”

“You might want to, at least until we know that Bill and Harley are done.”

“They’ve got to be done by now, right?” Michael thought for a minute, “You don’t suppose he could get a hold of some viagra on the base, could he?”

“If Carl can sneak you weed, I’m sure Bill can sneak other things on base as well.”

“You know about that huh?”

Linnet pressed her nose against Michael’s, “Yes. We can all smell you.”

“Does that offend you?”

“It’ll offend me if you leave to smoke instead of staying here with me tonight.”

“Ten four. Understood.” Michael gave a lousy salute.

Linnet squeezed him tighter. “You’re cute.”

Michael hummed happily and let himself melt in her arms.