While crammed into a worn vinyl booth and sharing burnt coffee under yellow fluorescent lighting, the conversation from the car replayed over and over in Mitch’s head. He alternated between picking at the ripped fabric and sneaking glances at Avi in an attempt to unravel what happened without having to directly ask. Naturally, Avi went mum on the topic; if Mitch wanted an opening, he needed to make it himself.
They climbed back into the car to make the final stretch back home, Mitch found the courage to speak up before Avi backed out of the parking spot. “Hey,” he cleared his throat and ran his palms on the thighs of his jeans. “For whatever it’s worth, but I don’t think that you’re a disappointment. Don’t know how you got that idea, but you’re the antithesis of that.”
Avi looked over at him, mouthing ‘what’ before his face lit up in recognition. His shoulders hunched, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh, I. Thanks. I mean, you’re not dating me or anything,” he huffed. “So without that perspective-“
“OK, but even if I was dating you!” Mitch blurted without any forethought, and his face burned. He almost hit the backpedal, terrified that he just outed himself, but that’d make it worse. Best to feign ignorance and continue the train of thought, he decided. “I couldn’t imagine you ever being a disappointment. You lift up every single person that’s around you. You brought an energy to the school that wasn’t there before. Everyone wants to try harder and do better, and that’s because of you.” Mitch paused, then lowered his voice as it creaked, “You make me want to be a better friend, Avi. I’ve never really thought about that, until you showed up.”
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Avi stared at him all wide eyed in bewilderment, then bit his lip once Mitch stopped talking. “I…I don’t even know what to say,” his voice tremored. “Thank you, though. I don’t know if I actually deserve any of that-“
“You do.” Mitch ignored the guilt for continuing to cut him off, but hearing Avi being so hard on himself was unbearable. “You went and picked me up without hesitation, even though you knew that I was being the worst. And then you hugged me!”
“After I made you cry!” countered Avi.
“I cry all the time!” Mitch brushed off the assertion, then grasped at the air in desperation to convey his sincerity. “Avi, you’re great! You are, I mean that from the bottom of my very shitty heart!”
Although no words were exchanged, Avi’s heavy breathing filled the void. Mitch couldn’t tell since the only light source was the flood lamp they were parked under, but the rims of his eyes appeared damp and red. With hesitancy, Avi at last spoke up. “Um. So, I know that we hugged earlier, but, uh. I really needed to hear that today. All of that. And…”
“Do you need another one?” Mitch tried to eradicate all traces of hope in his tone, but something in his chest fluttered when Avi sharply nodded. He stretched his arms out and Avi leaned forward, embracing him tightly while strong fingers clutched onto the back of his shirt. Avi’s face tucked into the crook of his neck, a small sniffle muffled by the fabric.
Mitch pretended not to notice. Curiosity continued to nag at him, insisting that he ask about what happened earlier to cause Avi to need reassurance about his character, but he said nothing.
Instead, he held Avi closer.