That’s it I’m done drinking forever. I thought to myself.

Being kidnapped or orcnapped had Sobered me up extremely fast. I remember sitting with Dave and Bodger one second, and the next, I was being carried up the stairs by an orc, to her room. To make matters worse, the first thing the orc lady did was tie my arms and legs to the corners of the bed with rope. I had tried to resist but my coordination was all over the place, my attempt at resistance had done little more than to annoy her. After tying me up, she headed towards what appeared to be a bathroom. Most likely to freshen up.

I had no idea what she had in store for me. I just hoped that by some miracle, I would be saved before she was done getting ready.

I tugged at the rope several times without success. I needed Dave’s help, maybe if he activated his battle mode it would give me the boost needed to escape.

‘’No Worry, Puny man. me make real man of you.’’ The voice rang from the bathroom sending a shiver down my spine. I felt sweat form all over my body as fear and panic set in.

‘’Not like this.’’ I cried hitting my head on the pillow.

Feeling sorry for myself, as tears and snot ran down my face, I lifted my head to see if there was any possibility of escape. There had to be a way to loosen these ropes and sneak out before she came back into the room. My eyes darted over every inch of the room in a furious effort to find anything that could be of use.

Just my luck. Nothing stood out.

Suddenly, all the candles blew out.

I hope Dave was faring better than me because I was doomed.

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I had to be quick, Liam needed me. If I wasn’t careful, my prank could backfire.

I was making steady progress up the steps. I was on number thirty-seven when I heard what sounded like an argument erupting from below. My tail whipped from side to side. I had caught Bodger in my trap.

‘’No, I said no such thing. The food was delicious. Look, I ate everything.’’

‘’Hmmm. And the seasoning? Better than your tears?’’ I guessed that this was the voice of the angry chef speaking.

‘’Absolutely,’’ Gulped Bodger.

‘’Just pay the bill and get out.’’

The chef grumbled before storming off.

‘’The bill?’’ I heard Bodger Whimper. ‘’Well, I. I mean my companions…’’

‘’Yes, they said that you would settle the bill.’’ Interjected the waitress.

There was a brief silence, followed by a scurry.

‘’Oh no you don’t!’’ Shouted the waitress.

I couldn’t make out the rest but there seemed to be a bit of a scuffle downstairs. Good thing I was forty steps away now.

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The last thing I was able to make out was what appeared to be a threat. ‘’I will get you for this, you blasted mouse!’’

I smiled and continued up the steps.

Suddenly, realization dawned on me. Why was I climbing each step? I had a cool interface with a ton of skills. Surely one of them could help me. And then I remembered the one I had used earlier, tail hop. I activated the skill and made quick work of the remaining steps.

At the top, I was presented with 5 rooms on each side of the hallway. I just had to work out which room, and judging by the predicament I had left Liam in, I guessed that time wasn’t on his side. I had to hurry.

I headed to the first door, and with a quick tail hop, I was at the keyhole. I peeked through to see… Nope, nope. I can’t say. What I saw involved tentacles, multiple limbs, several slimes, and stuff that should not be possible in any world. I instinctively threw up several times, leaving a cheesy fondue mess on the door lock before dropping back down to the floor. I threw up a further two times before heading to the second door.

Shaken from the ordeal of the first door, I jumped up to the second keyhole. Fortunately, this room was empty.

I continued past two more empty rooms until I heard a familiar voice.

‘’Noooo, I’m all out.’’ Shouted Liam.

Sensing that Liam was in danger, I quickly ran as fast as my shaky legs could carry me.

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‘’Take it down Or I will kill you, Puny human.’’

‘’No, you take yours off first.’’ I countered.

This was not going well. I had tried everything, and she kept attacking non-stop. I had to keep my wits about me, or I wouldn’t last much longer.

‘’Ok Human, I use dark assault. You lose 5 mana.’’

Damn. She was smart. She knew she couldn’t take my defensive shield down, so she decided to drain it instead. I only had two cards left to play, the mystic bunny and a mana potion.

Elaine the Orc looked at me excitedly, her grin spread across her face. She was already anticipating her victory and moving excitedly up and down on the bed.

There was no way I was going to win. At best, I could hope for a draw.

‘’I summon, mystic rabbit.’’ I shouted, holding my card to her face and placing it down on the bed sheet next to my other active monsters and spells.

‘’What it do?’’ questioned the orc, looking intrigued.

Boooooooooooooooom.

Before I could explain, the door fell off its hinges to show Dave holding his side and throwing up repeatedly. I looked at Elaine, and she looked at me confused. I shrugged my shoulders in confusion too, before getting up to check on the little guy.

Dave fell to his back as I reached him and placed a hand over his eyes.

‘’Too much … tentacles … slimes … werewolves …’’ He cried rolling from side to side and throwing up over his shoulder.

‘’It’s ok now. You’re safe here. What happened and what are you doing here?’’

Dave reached a hand towards my face, ‘’Came here.’’ He spluttered a little before continuing, ‘’to save you.’’ And with those words, he collapsed in a mess of his own throw-up.

‘’Him, Ok?’’ asked Elaine looking a little sad. Yeah, he’s fine. He’s just being a little dramatic, I answered as I looked over at her. ‘’He looks perfectly fine, probably ate some bad cheese or something.’’ Turning back to Dave, I saw one eye quickly close again.

I stood up, grabbed him by the tail, and walked back towards the bed. There was a towel on the bedside drawer, so I dropped him on top of it.

‘’Now where were we?’’ I said as I sat back down to finish the game.

‘’You lose, Human.’’ Chuckled Elaine as she placed her final card onto her side of the bedsheet. ‘’I play ultimate sacrifice. I lose half army and destroy all yours.’’

‘’Wait what? That’s cheating!’’ I shouted.

Elaine didn’t take kindly to being called a cheater. She crawled forward onto the bed and pinned my arms down. Her amber eyes pulsed green and she asked me to repeat my words. ‘’What you say human.’’

‘’You played well. You win, Elaine.’’ I whimpered, turning my face away from her warm breath.

Elaine’s face instantly changed. Her ferocious frown turned back into a pleasant smile.

‘’I like you human. You sleep on table. I sleep on bed. Tomorrow, maybe you sleep on bed too.’’ She said blowing a kiss at me with one hand.

She released her grip on my arms and allowed me to shuffle out from under her. She got up after and cleared the cards away. I walked over to the table that lay opposite the bed, touching the wall. Not wanting to anger Elaine, I climbed up and rolled myself up into the fetal position. I used a towel as a pillow and fell asleep.

‘’Human?’’ enquired Elaine.

‘’Yes, Elaine?’’ I asked half awake.

‘’Lights.’’

I got up from the table and blew all the candles out. I saw Dave fast asleep on the pile of towels and smiled and then headed back to my table to sleep.