I stood firmly on Liam’s shoulder as he walked towards the basement's stairs. Bodger waddled uncomfortably along on two legs behind us.

I get that we are in a strange new world where the laws of physics don’t apply in the same way but surely the rules of biomechanics hold some weight. Badgers, and for that matter Bodger, are not designed to walk on two legs. Thinking about it now, how am I able to walk so freely on two legs?

I Looked down at my feet and then past them straight towards the floor. I was so high up. The world began to spin, and I almost fell off.

You really shouldn’t overthink, Dave. You might get hurt. That mouth of yours… wait scratch that, that brain of yours is a hazard. I heard the ignoramus laughing inside his head as the corners of a smile appeared on the side of his face.

I was about to kick the grin off him when I suddenly felt the ascent of the first step, and I almost fell off again.

‘’Dave, you might want to get into my pocket.’’

‘’Do I have to?’’ I responded. ‘’I’ve died once and almost died several more times today. Being near your crotch is pushing my luck.’’

‘’Quick, we’re nearing the door.’’

Sensing the urgency in Liam’s words, I scurried down his shirt and wrestled my way into his pocket. I caught a glimpse of Bodger levitating slowly up the stairs. I don’t think Liam had noticed. Bodger was someone to keep an eye on. We knew next to nothing about him, but I could sense that he was holding something back from us. Something dangerous.

The trouser pocket was dark, damp, and unbearably musky. The only way to describe it would be to imagine locking yourself in a tiny two-by-six locker and relieving yourself of your unwanted stomach gasses.

Liam stopped momentarily. We must have reached the top of the basement stairs. The sound of a door opening pierced my ears, allowing feint shimmers of light to work their way through the trousers cloth. I had a grainy image of everything around us. Not ideal.

As Liam walked out, I realized that we were in the dining area of the inn. We had exited the basement at the door adjacent to the counter.

‘’Mary going to be long?’’ Asked a burly voice from one of the tables.

I could sense Liam’s unease as I felt his thoughts jumble.

She’s taking a nap. I projected into Liam’s mind.

‘’She’s taking a nap.’’ Liam said out loud.

Good. Liam was a little quicker on the uptake than I had expected. I had always thought of him to be as bright as a bulb without the filament. I guess there was a spark of hope yet.

‘’Good to see she sorted your rat problem out. Free of the vermin now. You can rest easy and enjoy your freedom now like the rest of us.’’

From what I gathered through the grainy images I made out; the diners were toasting Liam.

Liam froze. I could feel his body stiffen and his legs get damp, sticky, and smellier. Just my luck. He wasn’t handling this sudden and unexpected attention well.

Don’t just stand there like a frozen fool, Do something, I demanded while biting his thigh hard. Looks like I was wrong, the sparks were few and far between.

‘’Yelp!’’ Liam cried.

‘’You what?’’ Replied two of the grainy figures.

‘’Yes! I mean. Damn straight, I’m glad to be free of that god-forsaken pest.’’ Shouted Liam as a hand swung to slap me. I felt the shift in his body and anticipated it, pushing back just enough to dodge it.

‘’Right on, brother. We’ve all been there.’’ Responded a shaved head thug near the front.

‘’That little twerp had been the bane of my life for as long as I remember. He thought he was smarter than me and always tried to take my woman. I mean women.’’

‘’Let it out.’’ Cheered another shadowy figure with an eyepatch. ‘’Grab this man a stool and a beer on me’’.

I heard Bodger shuffling somewhere nearby but couldn’t see him. I was curious as to whether the men cared or were just oblivious to his presence.

Liam sat down and began to relax. I sensed the change in his body temperature.

‘’Do all mice act all high and mighty or was it just mine? They sure act big for such little creatures. And don’t get me started on their tails. You can read them like a book. As soon as they see a female, those tails start wagging like wildfire. And somehow, I’m the obsessed one. At least I can keep it in my pants.’’

A little hurtful but he was doing a good job of playing along. He was believable so I couldn’t fault him. It still hurt though.

‘’And their goofy front teeth. Those things are like natural can openers. Shouldn’t we have one in every bar?’’

Liam was enjoying this way too much. In the end, he prattled on for a further hour and grew more incoherent and unbearable with every beer.

----------------------------------------

‘’Goodbye Hector, Goodbye Matthew, Goodbye Jonathan, Goodbye Hector. Oh wait, I said Hector already. Goodbye, Matthew.’’

I had awoken when Liam had finally stood up to say goodbye to everyone, forcing myself to summersault into an upright position. I was furious at the fool and wanted to give him a piece of my mind, but not yet. I had a plan. I just had to wait for Liam’s inevitable goofiness to show itself.

The breeze of the night air penetrated the trouser pocket bringing a feeling much much-needed freshness. Liam had opened the door, and we were finally out of that hell hole. While he had been living it up, I had been starving.

I kicked his thigh, and before he could slap me, I scurried out of the pocket and up his shirt to perch myself on his shoulder.

Sorry, that took a while. The fool thought while hiccupping.

I didn’t care, my revenge was certain. My mind drifted towards food and then Bodger, who appeared next to Liam’s leg as he walked.

‘’Bodger, how did they not see you?’’ I asked.

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I hid behind a table leg.

‘’But surely, they would have noticed you?’’

‘’What he said,’’ repeated a belligerent Liam who was struggling to walk in a straight line.

‘’They were all too drunk to notice me, I guess.’’ Replied Bodger.

I didn’t buy it. Something was way off, but for now, I didn’t care as much as I would have liked to. I was wasting away and needed food urgently.

‘’Onwards Steed.’’ I demanded.

Liam walked through the starry sky-lit streets towards the nicer parts of the town in the central area. There were several restaurants, each offering a different themed menu. They all seemed inviting; however, one seemed quieter and less lively than the rest. Not wanting to stand out, I pointed to the ‘Cat’s Ear’.

Liam chose a quiet table in the far corner of the room. A young busty waitress with cat ears appeared after serving a nearby table and headed over. Up close I noticed that she had auburn hair and thin wispy whiskers protruding from a triangular nose.

‘’And what would you like today, Sssire?’’ She purred with a pleasant smile.

I jumped off Liam’s shoulder and landed on the table with a tiny thud, my muscle loss evident in the quieter-than-expected thud. I walked up and down the single-page menu eyeing up the best the restaurant had to offer. Nothing seemed familiar. The likes of Kraken philtrum stew and griffin elbows sounded interesting. What caught my eye though, was the cheese fondue. And not because I was a mouse. If memory serves me right, it was my favorite dish in my past life.

‘’I shall have one cheese fondue’’ I demanded while tapping the picture with my foot. ‘’and an apple cider to boot.’’

‘’And for you?’’ said the waitress winking at Liam.’’

Liam blushed before turning and freezing.

‘’He’ll have the Kraken philtrum,’’ I interjected. ‘’He can’t speak I’m afraid.’’

‘’Oh, why ever not?’’ the waitress enquired.

‘’Cat got his tongue, I guess.’’ I laughed but the joke flew over her head and Liam didn’t seem to be amused either, tugging at the menu beneath my feet and scowling.

After a confused pause, the waitress continued.

‘’Oh, I’m sorry, I just remembered that we’re all out of Kraken philtrum. How about the Kraken’s ear?’’

‘’I didn’t know they had either. Sure, why not?’’ I replied.

‘’And for you?’’ Said the demi-human as she turned towards Bodger.

Bodger began pointing his paw up and down the menu before blurting, ‘’One of everything,’’ with a big friendly smile on his face.

‘’No, he means one starter, main, and dessert.’’ I cut in, gobsmacked.

‘’No, I was right,’’ Said Bodger carrying the same carefree, smug grin. ‘’One of everything.’’

I felt my teeth grinding over each other.

‘’It’s fine, little guy. Let im av what e wants.’’ Hiccupped Liam before dropping his head between his arms and slumping over the table.

Easy for you to say you drunk fool. Who was going to pay for all of this?

I looked over at Liam who once again seemed lovestruck. Eyeing the waitress with red cheeks. Fickle fool. Bodger was as carefree as expected. And why not? He had just won the lottery by finding a pair of suckers. Well not quite. I was going to make him earn his dinner tonight.

‘’Bodger, how did the contract between mice and men come about and what are the terms?’’ I enquired.

‘’Hmmm. Well, let me see?’’

‘’Ahhh yes, well, it all started 200 years ago when the humans declared war on all magical creatures. They sought to rid the world of our kind. They had the support of the church, the pope, and allied nations from around the world. They were certain that their victory would be swift.’’

‘’In their foolhardiness, they failed to account for our superiority in numbers. Magical creatures outnumbered humankind ten to one back then. Our victory was certain. However, we did not count on the cat folk betraying us. I don’t mean cat-like demi-humans. I mean the cat folk who have served humans since ancient times. The cat folk were our strongest warriors, and their betrayal upset the balance.’’

‘’fortunately though, King Mauster The First came to our rescue. His strategic brilliance led to one swift victory after another. He used catnip, bells, and sticks on feathers to disarm the cats, while his army swept the battlefield. He also created an elite army of mausassins who took out key political figures in the cat and human armies.’’

I nodded along genuinely intrigued by this surreal history.

‘’Following his victory, King Mauster declared that humans were too big a threat. Those on our continent were to be shackled for life. At the age of thirteen, all humans were to have a magical contract created between them and a mouse. A master if you will. The humans were to be no more than a familiar to mice. A slave for life. This continues to this day with King Mauster The Two Hundred and First, still enforcing the decree.’’

‘’Interesting, and what does the contract involve?’’

‘’Not much. The human must do whatever his or her master dictates.’’ Answered Bodger in a course voice.

‘’And does the contract provide any abilities or magic?’’

‘’Well, not…’’ Before continuing Badger paused to look at me and the Liam. Narrowing his eyes suspiciously, he asked ‘’Why don’t you tell me?’’

‘’Orders up!’’ smiled the waitress.

She dropped several plates between me and Bodger. I felt Bodger’s eyes fixed on me as plate after plate was laid out. Trying to shake the dread hanging over my head, I shook Liam awake at the elbow and pointed at the food.

We had a feast before us, but not for us. It was mostly for Badger.

After the waitress had left, I ate in silence weary of the badger. Liam didn’t seem to mind though, the duo had hit it off and were laughing like they had known each other for years, spilling their drinks over each other and spluttering bits of Kraken ears and saltworm puree everywhere.

As the night drew to a close, I decided to enact my revenge on Liam. I had considered forgiving him, but his words had stung a little more than I could tolerate. I ripped a piece off a napkin and used some sauce to write a quick note.

While Liam and Badger were distracted, I hopped off our table and scurried over to an empty table near where the waitress was serving.

‘‘Psssssst’’

The waitress heard me and came over.

‘’How’s the food young master?’’ she smiled.

‘’Take this.’’ I handed over the note. ‘’ It’s from my friend.’’

The waitress began blushing before I could finish and shot a glance over at Liam.

‘’Can you hand this over to that lady over there, please,’’ I said while pointing at a rather large, red orc seated near the bar.

‘’oh,’’ replied the waitress looking a little dejected. ‘’Sure.’’

‘’I didn’t know he was into orcs. Men don’t last long with one of them.’’ Mused the waitress.

She glanced over at Liam again, before heading over towards the orc.

I quickly ran back over to my table to find Bodger looking down at the floor and vibrating and his arms swaying.

‘’What’s happening?’’ I asked Liam.

‘’Shhhhh. He’s having a vision.’’

‘’Wait, isn’t he supposed to be looking up at the ceiling?’’

‘’Don’t disturb him.’’ Whispered Liam.

As if on cue, Bodger quickly looked up at the ceiling, giving me a glance along the way.

I rolled my eyes and looked at Liam and then Bodger.

Bodger returned from his vision to blink. And without saying a word, he pointed at Liam.

Two big red hands grabbed Liam from the side and hefted him out of his seat.

‘’You, me, puny man. No talk. Bunga Bunga.’’

Liam Looked up to see the face of the 8-foot-tall Orc woman holding him off the ground. Her silver hair brushed against his cheeks. Liam paled and turned to look at me. He had sobered up faster than I had expected.

Help me, Liam’s Voice whimpered in my head as he was thrown over her shoulder and carried around the other side of the bar area and towards the stairs.

Think of the bright side Liam. We have a place to stay for the night.

I wasn’t going to let Liam suffer. I just wanted to scare him a little. My plan was always to save him. I just had one more thing to do before then.

‘’Bodger, I’m going to settle the bill. Give me two minutes.’’ I said. I knew he didn’t trust me and was going to make sure I paid. I decided to beat him to the punch. I just needed to get his eyes off me.

I scurried over near the bar, where our waitress was serving another table.

‘’All done with your dinner, young master?’’

‘’Yes, my friend Mr Bodger has offered to settle our bill.’’

‘’Oh perfect.’’ She replied. ‘’I’ll get the bill ready now. How did you find the food this evening?’’

‘’I thoroughly enjoyed the fondue. My friend, however, seemed extremely upset by his dinner. He expressed to me that he hadn’t realized that he had ordered unseasoned horse manure. He continued to say that had he known the food was going to be this bland, he would have cried beforehand so at least his tears could have seasoned it better.’’

‘’Is that so.’’ Replied the waitress, her mood shifting to anger.

‘’I’m extremely sorry for his discourteous behavior. Please don’t hold it against him.’’

‘’No, No. I won’t say a thing to him.’’ She smiled. ‘’I’ll just have a quick word with our lovely chef.’’

I looked over at Bodger and waved with a smile. He saw me with the waitress and waived back. The waitress seeing this forced a smile and responded with a wave of her own.

As the waitress headed off to the kitchen, and no longer feeling Bodger’s gaze on me, I decided to head up the stairs to save Liam. There was only one problem. Fifty large steps lay between me and Him.

I started my ascent, taking one step at a time.