The constant cackle of the Earthling family at the rear end of the space shuttle, about five miles from me in length, was not enough to tear my naked eyes away from the quiet stillness of the shrinking Earth that dominated the entire window, and which was pressed cold on my forehead.
“I want to change seats.” A woman said from the same end of the shuttle, a noticeable hint of emotional pain corrupting her Martian accent. It was difficult to relax in this tactile challenged chair decorated in ugly artificial wool, undoubtedly shed from the cheap clones they’re manufacturing down below in those mega cities.
“I heard Earth used to have real sheep.” A flight attendant said, noticing that I was fidgeting with the wool.
“What?” I said.
“Sheep born from other sheep.” She said, while showcasing the drinks on offer from her tray. Laughter roared from behind like dying pigs. The attendant handed me a whiskey and rushed to the bottom to sort the ruckus, the ice scratching the shot glass. It was as if she had read my mind like one of those fancy waiter robots the Headmaster had back at the pilot academy.
“Do they have them on Mars?” I asked the flight attendant when she came back to collect her tray and carry on serving the rest of the passengers.
“Nothing’s born any more.” She replied solemnly and glanced at the back of the cabin. “Could I ask you a favour?”
“What?” I said, quickly regretting reinitiating our conversation.
“There’s a young girl who’d like to sit somewhere else: I mentioned that there was a seat available next to you.” The attendant smiled.
“Whatever.” I said impatient. The attendant signalled her over with a hand gesture and a smile and I turned back to the window, watching the streams of flickering space ships sink back into Earth from their intergalactic voyages. A familiar delicate coconut perfume touched my nose and I turned instinctively.
“Thank you.” The young girl said, her flushed cheeks rose, reminiscent of strawberries atop vanilla ice cream. I downed my whiskey.
“You’re a Martian?” I said, noticing her chunky silver necklace: silver being a metal worn only by those whom were brave enough to call the red planet their home amidst the tense political climate between the two planets.
She laughed and rolled her eyes. “Technically, although I’m more used to being called a red neck by Earthlings.”
“It’s funny.” I smiled.
“What’s funny?” She puzzled.
The seat belt icon above beamed gold.
“That my sister used to do an impersonation of a Martian accent. Is it true that you all sound the same?” I asked. Suddenly, the word, ‘Betrayal’ haunted my thoughts.
“We could never be mistaken.” She said eerily.
“What’s your name?” I gulped.
“Lexi. What is yours?”
“Ted.” I sighed, her thick brunette curls reminded me of Jessica’s. Lexi pulled out a portrait from her handbag, awash with blue tears, and her makeup dripped down the alien necklace as she tried to hide her femininity behind her hair. Earth glowed in the distance like a full moon.
I shifted in my seat and asked, “Who’s that?”
“Rocky.” Lexi blushed.
“Did he die?” I stupidly opened up a long dialogue despite always being uncomfortable with emotionally charged conversations.
“Excuse me. I must use the bathroom.” She said, weeping.
My glass was empty and I unbuckled, propping myself up on my knees to scan the aisle for the attendant.
Instantly, the rear end of the shuttle was exposed briefly to the open blackness and the deafening crackling of the side thrusters before the emergency airlock snapped shut; Hundreds of deceleration hand rails extended from the side and I made for several before finally grasping one to slow my breathless descent. The G-Force was kinetically transferred to the hand rails, which speedily pulled me towards the front, encased in a bubble of oxygen. Nails dug into my calf, I looked below me and it was Lexi, her hair ruffled. Behind her sat hundreds of charred empty chairs.
“Are you okay?” I said, trying to hide my shock. She nodded as we arrived through a small slit in the secondary airlock that sealed off the second passenger compartment from the third, which then bolted shut, signalling to the onboard AI that it was safe to eject the third compartment.
“No life observed in the third compartment. Ejecting...” The robotic voice warned.
“What...Just…Happened?” Lexi panted, resting on the cold blue metal of the airlock floor.
“The only thing that could have ruptured a space shuttle like that would have to be an asteroid.” I coughed.
“My foster family.” Lexi wailed.
I staggered towards the door to the second chamber and pulled on the handle.
“Why isn’t it opening?” I said, unable to hear myself think over Lexi’s cries.
“Radiation levels: Unacceptable. Door contaminated: Initiating decontamination protocol.” The computer buzzed. Icy gas burst from the wall, which chilled my bones.
“Decontamination complete.” The computer buzzed again.
“My brother!” Lexi shouted as though she wanted to drill holes into my ears. “Where is it?”
“Where’s what?” I asked, shivering frantically.
“The portrait.” She screamed. “I had him a second ago but now I don’t. I can’t leave without him.” Those red, wet eyes cried out to me through the white gas.
“Help me find him. Please.” She begged.
“Family will get you killed, Lexi. If you had not moved, you would have died just like your family. Chances are that we are in an asteroid storm so we need to keep moving; we need to head to the cockpit because these blast doors will continue to cut off the rest of the shuttle and the pilot will not wait long before he ejects the second compartment.” I ranted. Lexi could see that I was as stressed as she was because she did not say anything back in response to my unasked for opinion. The floor was blisteringly cold as I felt every inch, along with Lexi, for her portrait in the maddening cloud. Our shoulders touched and her breath nibbled my neck. I stepped back and entered the second compartment, her body faded in the leftover mist.
Congested groups of people like thickets cried out as they saw me trailing the white powder of the decontamination spray into their cabin.
“What’s happened?” An elderly woman sobbed. Their trembling eyes awaited an answer that was not from an unsympathetic machine speaking dryly over the intercom. The shuttle jerked and the walls wheezed all of a sudden, and the rest of the passengers scratched furiously at their arms as the emergency oxygen masks dangled from the ceiling and the yelling of the seat belt warning pierced every ear.
“There’s a leak!” A young girl screamed. Everybody scrambled to the airlock where Lexi sat searching for the miniature portrait of her brother, while I crouched snugly between two wine-stained seats, whipped by the puff of the herd rush. A dense crowd formed down the four lanes of the cabin, which allowed me to dash towards the cockpit unobstructed. Behind me, people began to collapse like dominoes as I felt a soft hand clasp my wrist and the curly brown locks tickling my arm. The door to the first compartment opened automatically and revealed the penultimate airlock, to which I staggered in, depleted of almost all my oxygen.
“Commencing decontamination.” The computer buzzed. A mass of icy gas surrounded us.
“How did you get here? Why do you keep following me?” I wheezed, studying her small petite frame, peculiar to all Martian women.
Lexi shot out her hand and relaxed it, revealing her crumpled memoriam portrait. It was the first time I had seen real paper.
“I spotted you running the other way to all those people and I followed you.” She panted. Her Martian eyes sparkled under the soft blue light of the airlock like diamonds.
“We were exposed just like them, so why didn’t we get sick?” She asked.
“The decontamination spray protected us because it was still fresh. Why did you follow me?” I replied.
“I don’t know.” Lexi fell to the ground.
“What’s wrong?” I said.
“Nothing: I am just exhausted.” Her eyes darted from me to the door and back again.
“It’s not going to open without a key card.” I answered before she could ask.
“Earthlings and their caste.” She cursed. Chunks of sweat droplets hung from the tips of her hair like blue baubles. It was hard to imagine that these four blue walls of the airlock were the only thing standing between us and the vastness of space; Our birthplaces lied out there, and we were stranded millions of miles between the two planets: between our two families.
“You remind me of my sister.” I said after a moment’s hesitation.
“I do? How?” Lexi asked.
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“She used to follow me without question.” I laughed.
Lexi blushed. “You didn’t strike me as one fond for family.”
“They aren’t so fond of me” I admitted.
“Why?” Lexi asked instantly. My mind drew a blank and I froze momentarily; it had been fifteen years since I had last seen Jessica.
A wobbling flight attendant, holding a wine glass, opened the airlock door from the other side.
“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” She giggled. My frosty tipped ears shook at the roaring cheers and laughs of the first class passengers popping champagne and napping on their leather recliners. Her eyes rested upon the light above the door behind us, which buzzed red and illuminated the words: “FIRE.” She dropped her glass and it shattered, sprinkling sharp wet pieces all over the cloudy airlock. The flight attendant started to push the door closed, while smacking the button beside it, labelled, ‘SHUT.’
“Don’t.” Lexi yelled. The circular door cracked my bones as I thrust my arm through the gap.
“Ah.” I screamed, my bones crunching like aluminium.
“What are you doing?” Lexi cried.
“You are going to get us all killed.” The flight attendant panicked.
“Airlock breached. Commencing emergency compartmentalisation procedure.” The computer screeched. The door to the first class cabin snapped shut, slicing my forearm cleanly off like a chainsaw and splashing my face with blood. Lexi laid me down on the cold floor and rested my head on her soft knees. Blood rained down on us both as she removed her soaked t-shirt and rolled it up into a bracelet around my elbow, knotting it tightly.
“I’ve lost my arm!” I yelled into her ears over and over, the words rendering meaningless to my own screaming ears as the seconds on the clock, situated in front of me above the door, counted down like an executioner. It was though the walls of the airlock did not exist and that the silence of the entirety of space was jammed into my ear drums like a fine needle, for I could not make sense of the movements spoken by Lexi, except the understanding that her warm breaths were meant to comfort me somehow. The blue rays of the flashing overhead lights made Lexi look like a typical Earthling girl. That was the first time that I felt like a typical Earthling boy since I was sent to the academy all those years ago to live a militaristic life.
“I’m sorry.” I groaned.
“Don’t die!” Lexi sobbed, clutching my forearm tightly and raising my head further. “Don’t leave me, please.”
“I’m sorry.” I said again. The flight attendant stood helplessly, watching from behind the door.
“Don’t just stand there. Do something! My brother is leaving me. Rocky...” Lexi screeched.
“I’m not your brother.” I coughed. She clutched her brother’s portrait, next to my head and rested her other hand on my face as my eyes twitched. The heavy crackling of the fire shot through the vents and punctured them into the airlock. A big ball of flame came to envelop me. Lexi stood up and grabbed a sawn off chunk of my forearm. She smacked it on the radioactivity sensor of the onboard computer.
“It’s easily replaceable right?” She asked.
“I know but it still hurts.” I cried.
“Activating decontamination procedure.” The computer buzzed, releasing frosty gas into the room. Instantly, the fire was put out. Loud screams dominated the first class cabin. The flight attendant screamed before the window turned black and my eyes shut.
The harsh screech of space pulsed in my ears upon waking up and through the small window of the airlock I watched the dazzling mega cities of Mars fade from view.
“I will be at home on Mars.” I said, wincing. My elbow throbbed.
“Why?” Lexi said softly as she rubbed the shoulder of my amputated arm.
“...Because I’ve felt like it’s been my true home for all my life. When I was growing up in the academy, I’d look up and see Mars and pretend that I was simply at summer camp, and that I would return soon to the red dust that birthed me. I was no Earthling, but a true Martian.” I said sadly, her thick curls brushing my reddened cheeks. “I was only six when my parents sent me off to become a spacial pilot.” I added.
“You were a pilot and you left?” Lexi inquired.
“I attacked a teacher so they kicked me out – six months until graduation.” I admitted.
“Why?” Lexi asked, rubbing my cold ears between her petite fingers as my head melted into her lap. Her soft smile radiated warmth throughout my entire body like a touchless full body massage.
“He said I was sent to the academy because my family didn’t love me.” I replied. My hand could not hide all the icy tears that crashed into her lap.
“No one loves you but your family.” She said, staring into the celestial abyss through the small window. With one hand vigorously rubbing my shoulder, she held her portrait in front of her at arm’s length, blocking her view of the window.
“I don’t need a family.” I said, staring out the window. “Do you think you’ll ever see him again?” I asked, shivering.
“I need him, or what’s the point?” She said firmly.
“Jessica doesn’t need me.” I replied absent-mindedly. Lexi was silent, staring at her tear soaked brother. “I don’t need her.” I added and lifted myself up. “It’s getting harder to breathe.”
Lexi pocketed her painting and said. “I could try to open the door. It sounds like the fire’s out.”
“No.” I said, trembling, not wanting to face the cooked corpses and frightening embers. Lexi ignored me and pulled on the circular door handle.
“It won’t budge.” She complained. Nothing could be seen through its window but ash. Her small fists pounded on the glass, “Hello!” She yelled.
“What’s the use? It’s all burnt from here to the cockpit.” I said.
“What? We have to try something.” She panted.
“There could be a leak out there...We could crawl through the vent up there.” I suggested, pointing to the rupture above. Lexi stood up and looked at the vent that hugged the ceiling of the airlock.
Lexi looked at my one limb, kneeled down on one leg and arched her hands below the vent.
“Step up.” She said. I staggered to her and placed my left foot on her palms. The puncture in the vent was wide enough for me but the jagged edges bit into my ribs as I climbed up. As I turned around to lay on my stomach, I reached down and clasped her hand tightly.
“Don’t worry, I am very light.” She giggled as I pulled her up.
“Yes you are.” I laughed and rotated so I was facing the direction to the cockpit. The vent was big and almost like a room of its own. A gentle breeze came from up ahead, generated by a large flickering fan.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yeah, why?” She replied. The fan sped up.
“Hold on!” I yelled over the gust. Lexi gripped my ankle as I hugged the floor and slid along the cold metal box.
“Careful.” I shouted. There was a large gap in the floor, revealing the entire second cabin: charred bodies of Earthlings stuck to the seats like napalm. My lips quivered. The wind weakened and I could hear myself thing again.
“What is it?” Lexi said.
“Nothing.” I answered.
“Do you think it’s Fate that brought us together, Ted?” Lexi asked.
I turned my head to face her and smiled. “I thought Fate forgot about me.” I laughed. Further along the shaft, the synth sounds from the control console emerged clearly.
“We are nearly there, Lexi.” I winced.
“What then?” She asked.
“The pilot will detach the rest of the ship and we’ll cruise to Mars.” I said. The warmth of Lexi’s smile pulsed throughout my wobbly body. We approached the large blades that had been sending heavy currents down from where we had come from.
“This just made the fire worse.” I said. On the left was the exit to the last airlock before the door, and I turned around and sunk into the blue light on my feet. Above me was Lexi, shivering.
“Jump.” I said. Lexi’s eyes darted around the room and her hands clutched the sides of the opening.
“I can’t.” She said.
“I’ve got you.” I said. Lexi leapt from the ceiling and I caught her in my arm.
“I’ve missed this blue light.” She remarked, her frizzy hair wrapping itself around both of our faces.
“Commencing decontamination.” The computer slurred. It was orgasmic, we were caked in white spray as the door to the cockpit buzzed open.
“Look.” Lexi said as she pulled me to the window. “The stars are like white Polka dots.”
“They look so happy.” I said. “Like a big family.” Lexi smiled and she looked beautiful like Jessica did on the day she said goodbye to me all those years ago.
“Let’s go say ‘hello’ to the Captain.” I laughed and held Lexi’s hand, leading her through the airlock door.
“Hopefully he will be able give you something for your elbow to hold you over until we get to the hospital on Mars.” She said. The stench of the cockpit turned my lungs black. The captain’s body sprawled across the flashing control panel.
“Auto pilot disengaged.” The computer slurred.
Lexi dashed to the body and felt his pulse in his neck: “He’s dead.” She said.
“How?” I asked in disbelief.
“It might have been whiplash.” Lexi figured. She glanced at the countless buttoned control panel and shrieked. “What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know.” I panicked.
“Aren’t you a pilot?” She asked.
“I didn’t get to graduate but I can fly spaceships.” I said but then I pointed to my missing arm and she exhaled in frustration. Lexi’s eyes spun around the room and her arms flopped by her side.
“Can’t you tell me what to do?” She groaned.
“How easy do you think flying a commercial spacecraft is?” I said sarcastically.
“Well someone has to do it!” Lexi roared. “I have to see my brother and the last time I checked he was on Mars, not stranded in space, millions of miles away from home.”
“When was the last time you checked!” I shouted.
“At least I have family who love me!” She cursed.
“At least my family is not dead!” I screamed. Lexi gasped and ran into the airlock.
“Hey...” I said gently.
“Go away.” She sobbed. “He isn’t dead. I can’t be alone. I can’t.”
I knelt beside her and placed my hand on her shoulder. “The whole craft is burnt, Lexi. It’s dead weight.” I said.
She looked at me with reflective eyes. “We can detach it, can’t we? The dead weight. Start over?”
I sighed. “You need to let your brother go. We aren’t going to make it. There isn’t a starting over. Why didn’t I realise that? Why am I even on this ship?”
Lexi’s tears soaked my shirt as she used it to dry her eyes and block out the blue light of the airlock. She slapped my chest and spat, “What kind of brother are you, that you’d just give up this easily? My brother wasn’t like you; he wasn’t like you one bit. He wouldn’t just give up this easily! It’s like...It’s like you don’t even want to see your family again. Why are you even on this ship if you are an Earthling. It’s not some holiday for me: this is my home.” The red light of the command console poured into the airlock and mixed with the blue to form a soft purple shade. “Rocky Bulden is his name. Rocky Bulden. Remember it.” She said as she grabbed my collar. Her cheeks flushed red and she turned away.
“I want nothing more than to see Jessica again.” I admitted softly in her ear, tears streaking down my face. “But I let her down. I let my whole family down by being stupid and getting kicked out. I could have made them damn proud of me.”
“We all do stupid things, Ted.” She said with new tears streaming down her pretty face. “But we don’t let them haunt us; we don’t let them bully us into buying a one way ticket to Mars so that we can live the rest of our days as red necks, now do we?” She laughed and I couldn’t help myself but giggle like a little girl. “My brother used to always laugh like that.” She said.
“Like what?” I said.
“Like how you just laughed, silly.” She giggled, showing her dazzling white teeth.
The captain’s white jacket flickered red in the cockpit as I strolled to the panel and studied the instruments, to which I concluded that they were all in good enough condition. The deceased pilot was heavy but I managed to remove him from his station and set him down on the floor.
“Damn.” I cursed. There was no way I could control the craft with just one hand. “Lexi.” I called.
“I’m sorry for what I said.” She replied softly.
“Save your apologies for when we get you to your home.” I said.
“What?” She said confused.
“I need your help piloting this scrap of metal.” I laughed. Lexi jumped up and ran to the cockpit, and made a start to remove the copilot’s corpse.
“Don’t bother. I meant come and sit on my lap and grab the wheel.” I said.
“What?” She blushed.
“I can’t fly with just one hand, can I?” I said.
“Well no, you can’t” She muttered and perched as far towards my knee as possible.
“I know this isn’t ideal but I could always sit on your lap.” I said, rolling my eyes.
“No this is fine.” She said as she scooted backwards and smiled. “So what do you want me to do?”
“Grab the wheel like this.” I said as I gently held her hands and placed them on the cold control wheel. “I want you to hold firm and never let it go where it wants, but to keep it where you want it, always.”
“So...Never let it go?” She asked.
“Yes.” I smiled. “Never let it go.” The sweet sensation of the throttle melted me as I gripped it tightly.
“Now press the big red button.” I said. Lexi eyed me with suspicion. “I promise, it’s not going to eject us.” I laughed. “Now flip the switch under the number three. Goodbye economy class.” Lexi laughed. “Now flip the switch under the number two. Goodbye business class.” The laughs continued. “Now you know what to do.”
“Goodbye first class.” She said excitedly and giggled. We had released the three cabins and now had better fuel economy.
“This is why they had the thrusters and the fuel tanks attached to the pilot’s quarter.” I remarked.
“Now what?” She asked.
“Now we can return to our families.” I said and pulled the throttle towards me, pushing down the pedal as hard I could. The engines started to roar.
“I’ve already found mine.” Lexi blushed and my frigid lips suddenly melted when they met with her suppleness.
“My family will love you.” I said, smiling, the stars beginning to blur.