That night, I had tea with the teddy bear again.
I’m not sure when I became aware that I was dreaming, but by the time I saw the door, I was certain. My pleasant dream of me winning a Nobel Prize for inventing a new flavour of ice cream faded away until I was floating alone in a dark emptiness.
It wasn’t a complete void, there were pinpricks of light scattered all around. Some were tiny, some large, some bigger than the sun in the sky. Luminous clouds of gas began to appear in the distance, expanding and changing. Streaks of coloured matter flowed across the expanse as if painted by the unseen brush of a cosmic giant. Countless irregular shapes drifted aimlessly between the bursts of light and life. This was space, but far more vibrant and beautiful than I’d ever known. This was the cosmos. Comets streaked across the dark planes between spiralling galaxies and glimmering nebulae. Stars lived and died, collapsing into void singularities and exploding into supernovas that birthed new suns.
It was but a mere glimpse at the unknown glories of the universe, but it was far more than humans had perceived before.
“One small nap for man, one giant leap for mankind,” I muttered. “Take that NASA.”
I wasn’t alone in my empty pocket of space. A chunk of dirt and rock floated before me, slowly spinning as dust and pebbles broke off and hovered around it in a halo of suspended gravity. The top of the rock, when it spun enough for me to see it, was made of concrete, with yellow markings painted on it. It looked like Godzilla had ripped a chunk out of the Earth and hurled it into deep space. Of course, I didn’t think much about it, since I was staring at the door on top of the concrete. It was only a frame and a door, edges jagged and crumbled. It was made of bronze? (I didn’t really know my alloys), but it had been reinforced with newer panels with large rivets. There were scratches and dents and marks on the metal, it was clearly quite old. There was no doorknob, instead it was opened with a metal crank wheel, like on ships and submarines. Strange markings, similar to hieroglyphics, but with fewer people and birds, were carved into the metal all around the frame. The entire thing was stained with suspicious-looking dark splatters and smears as well as dark char marks.
I’d never seen a door with a more ominous aura before. It practically screamed DO NOT OPEN UNLESS YOU WANT TO DIE A HORRIBLE, AGONIZING DEATH.
So, naturally, I opened it.
Hey, I was dreaming. It’s not my fault I have poor impulse control. Besides, I wouldn’t have really opened it if I was awake. Probably.
It wasn’t locked. I just had to turn the wheel. The metal grated as I struggled to turn it. Clearly it hadn’t been used in some time. There was a loud metallic clang that reverberated out from the door. I was pretty sure sound couldn’t travel though space, but that was just another sign I really was dreaming. I pushed inward and the door opened with the creaking whine of old hinges. Bright white light blinded me and I screwed my eyes shut.
When I opened them, I was in a white void. The door was gone.
Sitting in front of me on Its cushion, setting the tea table, was the teddy bear.
“Hello again, Arthur,” It said in the indescribably layered harmony I had come to expect of it.
“Teddy Bear,” I replied. “I’m back again. How did I get here?”
The bear looked at me with the small, glossy black buttons that somehow felt more alive and perceptive than any real eyes I had ever seen. They finished placing the tea set on the table, but this time, there was no tray of cookies and biscuits. Instead, the teddy bear pulled out a red pizza box and placed it beside the teapot. Stubby, fingerless hands flipped open the lid, revealing a delicious-looking Hawaiian pizza. The scent of greasy baked dough, fresh tomato sauce, sizzling ham and melted cheese drew me toward the table in cartoon fashion, nose-first.
As I sat, the bear poured more tea into my cup. “You tell me how you got here. After all, it was you who found your way here, was it not?”
I accepted the tea with a nod. “I guess so. I mean, I’m dreaming, I think. So, I guess my subconscious mind created this space and scenario.”
“I see.” The bear poured itself a cup. “Truly interesting how the human mind thinks.”
“I found a door floating in space and I went through it.”
The bear leaned forward. “Truly? In space?”
I nodded and gestured toward the pizza. The bear dipped its head. I snagged a hot, gooey piece of pizza and took a bite. It was heavenly, the best pizza I’d ever had. The best pizza on earth seemed like dirt in comparison.
“An odd place to find a door, hmm?” The bear sipped its tea.
I gobbled down the entire slice of heaven before I answered. “Yeah, I guess so. Seemed like it had been somewhere else before but something had pulled it out and thrown it away. Dreams are weird things.”
The bear set down its cup. “Weird indeed. The door isn’t where it used to be. How intriguing.”
Not paying the bear much attention, I took a gulp of tea and grabbed another slice of pizza, devouring it in a few large bites.
“Are you enjoying the pizza?”
“Mm hmm! It’s great!” I said, licking cheese off my fingers.
“Excellent.” The bear put its hands together. “Then perhaps I’ll have something else for you when you return.”
I paused, reaching for another slice. “Return? Are we done here?”
It nodded. “Yes. You are waking up. But you’ll be back. After all, you’ve found the way twice. I’m sure it will only get easier.”
“Cool. And you’ll have more food for me?”
The bear flopped over again, inanimate. The voice continued as the whiteness began to darken and the tea table was pulled away. “Of course. And I do hope you can keep telling me of these dreams. I find them most fascinating.”
“Sure thing. Next time I’ll…”
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
I flailed awake as my alarm blared. Somehow, my blanket ended up wrapping around my throat and as I panicked, it tightened until I was being strangled by my own bedsheet. Choking and gasping, I rolled off my bed and slammed to the floor. Luckily, I rolled the right way and suddenly, I could breathe again.
As I sat up and panted heavily, rubbing my neck, I tried to remember what I had just dreamed about. It was already fading away into obscurity. Something about a bear and tea and pizza. Was I in space? And a door to… I can’t remember.
By the time I could breathe properly, it had all but vanished from my remembrance.
“Huh. I’ve gotta stop getting beat up by my bedroom,” I muttered as I dressed in the jeans that were the last of my wardrobe and the T-shirt from yesterday that I was still unclear who it belonged to. “Maybe I need to take some melatonin before bed or something.”
I shook my head and tried to rid myself of the odd feeling of something important forgotten. Today was my first in the new apartment and I had the day off. I wasn’t about to spend it musing over some dumb dream.
Today I was gonna relax, heal up and do a little light exploring of my new home. Nothing weird was going to happen today.
----------------------------------------
Donovan was gone when I wandered out into the main space of the apartment. There was a Post-It stuck to the fridge that read: Gone to class. Be back around 3:30. Help yourself to anything in the fridge or cupboards.
I managed to find where he kept his cereal. To my dismay, all the boxes were off-brand with names like Wheat Circles, Fruit’N’Sugar Flakes, Just Puffs and Granola? I had no idea where he even found them, but I didn’t feel like making myself breakfast, so I poured a bowl of Fruit’N’Sugar with some milk. To my surprise, it wasn’t half bad, a little chalky, but better than I expected.
I washed the bowl and spoon after I was done and left them on the towel beside the sink to dry. I wasn’t going to let this apartment turn into another trash hole; I was going to be a good roommate.
After lounging on the couch for twenty minutes, scrolling mindlessly through my feeds, I heard a creak over by the table of scattered papers and textbooks. Right by the skeleton, Grins.
I narrowed my eyes. Had he moved slightly? Wasn’t his head turned further right than before? Pocketing my phone, I stood and stared down the plastic skeleton and his crooked cowboy hat. “Oh, you’re just asking for it, aren’t ya? You ain’t slick, I know what you’re doing. You can’t get in my head!”
I limped into my room and grabbed my baseball bat. Striding back out into the living room, I planted my feet in front of Grins and wound up. “One more twitch and I’ll break your…” I leaned closer to read the marker. “Uh, scapula.”
Grins continued to grin at me, motionless.
Having successfully threatened a plastic Halloween decoration, I backed away and looked at the bat in my hands. The few scuff marks that it had borne since before Skylar gave it to me were the only damage I could see. It wasn’t even singed from the fire.
“I’ve gotta figure this thing out.” The next time some crazy bikers or anything else tried to kill me, I wanted to be able to pull this bad boy out of thin air and bash them in the face.
I gripped the handle with both hands and brought it up to eye line. “Now, how do we do this?” I stuck my tongue out and pushed the bat ahead in a poor attempt to make it disappear. It stayed in my hand.
I frowned. Maybe I have to let it go.
I tried again, but this time I released the grip. Gravity worked as normal and the bat landed directly on my foot. Luckily it wasn’t my injured foot.
Much cursing and hopping later, I snatched up the stubborn bat, now in a much fouler mood.
What did Skylar say? Something about thinking I was putting it in an invisible locker?
Skylar seemed to know what was going on in this insane world, so I heeded her advice. Thinking back to my high school days, I closed my eyes and imagined my old locker, sandwiched between identical numbered cubbies in a long hallway. I reached out and imagined myself turning the dial on the lock to my old code, still seared into my mind. 31-4-15. I pretended to pull the lock out and open the door. I reached out the bat and placed it inside and-
“Holy crap, it worked!” I yelled. My hand was empty. The bat was gone.
I grabbed the sides of my head and stuttered in amazement. “Grins, did you see that? I’m awesome!”
Grins didn’t reply, but his smile seemed like an encouragement.
“Ok, now I just have to get it back.” Confidence high, smile curling ear to ear, I reached ahead and grabbed for the bat, imagining my fingers wrapping around the handle inside the invisible locker. My hand closed on nothing but air.
“Hmm.” I tried again but came up empty. I groaned and reached ahead with both arms. Nothing. I flailed them around, hoping my knuckles would bump into an unseen object.
The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.
I sighed. “Well, I’ve lost that forever. Stupid invisible locker.” I wondered if the Red Pineapple had the extended warranty on its artifacts and if it included an Idiot User clause.
I slumped down on the couch and pondered all the ways Skylar would punish me for losing the bat. The best I could hope for was cleaning toilets for the next decade.
My phone buzzed. It was a message from Lucky.
Hey, heard what happened last night! I can’t believe you got blown up! Skylar said you’re ok, but are you ok?
The corner of my mouth lifted. At least someone seemed to care for my well-being. I texted back. I’m good. Carol took me to some doctor guy in bunny slippers
:0 Bunny slippers! Tell me you got a picture!
No picture sry
>:(
I was unconscious and having shrapnel plucked out of my guts. What do you want from me?
A picture
I laughed. Even though we were just texting, Lucky’s odd but infectious enthusiasm found a way to translate. My thumbs tapped the screen. Next time someone explodes me and I end up on his table, I’ll be sure to snap a picture
Yay!
Lucky had worked at the Pineapple for I while, I was pretty sure, so she likely knew stuff about the artifacts. Hey so Skylar gave me a bat from the Pineapple and I’ve been trying to figure it out
Lucky texted back right away. You lost it, didn’t you?
Yup
Lol, ok. Hang on a sec.
I stared at my phone screen, waiting for her to text back, but instead, it began ringing. I flinched and answered it. “Lucky?”
Her cheery, bubbly voice answered back. “Who else, dummy?”
“Aren’t you at work?”
“So?”
I chuckled. “So, should you be phoning me?”
“Technically no, but who’s gonna stop me?” Lucky said triumphantly.
“Uh, Carol? Or, isn’t Skylar the manager too?”
Lucky scoffed. “Carol’s busy in her office doing her business. And Skylar doesn’t care, she’s always got other things to worry about, like figuring out how to deliver a pizza to the Tumbleweed when it’s in orbit over China or convincing Bogongo Gang not to issue a bounty on Red because there wasn’t bacon on their Meat Lovers.”
“Did that happen?”
“Last week.”
We shared a laugh before Lucky brought us back on topic. “So, you lost the bat, huh?”
I scratched my neck. “Um, yeah. I managed to make it disappear and then I couldn’t get it back again. I’m like an amateur magician.”
“You were probably too focused on trying to find the ‘spot’ where you put it away, instead of actually accessing it.”
“What?”
A giggle echoed through the phone speaker. “You didn’t actually put it anywhere on this plane. It went to a pocket dimension. So reaching for the ‘spot’ you left it does nothing. You can take it and leave it wherever you are.”
This was making about as much sense as 12th grade Chemistry. I didn’t understand 12th grade Chemistry, in case that was unclear. “Ok…”
“Don’t worry, it was confusing for me at first too.” Lucky encouraged. “Why don’t you tell me how you figured out how to put it away in the first place.”
“Well, Skylar said it was kinda like a locker, so I imagined opening my locker back in school.”
Lucky sounded thoughtful. “Ok, that’s not bad. A little elementary, but that should work.” In the background, I heard the banging of pots and pans. Lucky’s voice shouted away from the microphone. “Freddie, I asked you to make a salad, not destroy my kitchen! No, you don’t need a whisk for a salad!” I heard Freddie’s muffled voice answer and Lucky sigh. “Whatever.”
I cleared my throat. “So, my locker thing is right?”
“Yeah, that can work, for sure. It’s training wheels, but hey, who doesn’t need those when learning to ride a bike.”
“How do I get it back?” I asked.
Lucky clicked her tongue. “Well, did you imagine opening the locker again when you went to take it out?”
My brow creased. “No… I just sorta reached for the bat. But I didn’t imagine closing the locker.”
Lucky’s laugh washed over my ears like a crystal clear waterfall. “You aren’t actually putting it in a locker, you know. You’re just using that imagery to help your brain understand extra-planar space, you goof. You didn’t have to close the door, because as soon as you let go of the bat, it was already in the collection. So now, if you want to access the collection again, you have to do the same thing as before, in your case, opening a locker like a good little schoolboy.”
“Ok, please don’t ever say that to me again. And that was the first thing I thought of.”
Lucky laughed. I could visualize her tail swishing back and forth mischievously. “Try it again, but open your ‘locker’ first.”
I squared my shoulders and let out a long breath. “Ok.” Closing my eyes, I pictured my school locker, just as before and imagined myself unlocking and opening it. I reached ahead and nothing.
I grunted.
“Don’t worry! This might take a few tries. It’s pretty tricky.” Lucky’s voice was further away and I heard some scraping and sizzling. She must have been preparing an order while we were still chatting.
I inhaled through my nose and tried again.
After ten minutes and seventeen infuriating failures accompanied by Lucky's cheerful but oh so patronizing encouragements, I finally felt my fingers wrap around the grip of the bat. With a high-pitched squeak that sounded like a certain trademarked corporate mouse, I drew my arm back and inch by inch, the baseball bat appeared in my hand.
"I did it!"
Lucky's clapping came through the phone speaker. "Hooray! Good job!"
I ran my hand over the length of the barrel, marvelling at the smoothness. "I can't believe I can do it."
"You've figured out the process, but that's just the beginning," Lucky said. "That took you forever. If you were in trouble, the trouble would have had time to kill you about thirty times before you drew your weapon. That's not good."
I harrumphed and rolled my eyes. "Oh, that’s not good? Really, I had no idea."
Lucky didn't seem to mind my sarcasm. Her voice still held the bubbly, happy tone as she replied. "You should keep practicing until you can do it reliably in like two seconds. That'll probably be good enough unless you come across an Amendori Duellist."
"What's an Amendori Duellist?"
"Oh, just a loose group of wandering gunslingers following the final order of their long-dead king to preserve justice by duelling those deemed unjust. They're the fastest draws in the Other Life. Being challenged by one is pretty much certain death."
The general terror of the many things that could kill me in my new life had drifted to the back of my mind overnight but now it was back with a vengeance. I imagined some robot cowboy squaring off with me at high noon and blowing my brains out with a six-shooter. "Do I need to worry about duels too?"
Lucky laughed. "No, no I was being dramatic. No, you're far too impressively insignificant to be challenged. But still, you need to practice. Just keep summoning and dismissing it throughout the day and you'll slowly get faster."
"Okay...." I was mildly insulted by being called impressively insignificant, but if that helped me avoid a bullet between the eyes, I could accept it.
"Skylar's finally giving me a look," Lucky said. "I should probably get back to work before she decides to actually do something about this."
"OK," I repeated.
"See you tomorrow. Oh and feel better, hey? Don't want you all beat up for training."
"Right, training."
"Buh-bye." Lucky hung up.
I stared at the call ended, wondering what kind of space-kwondo they'd have me doing when I got back to the Red Pineapple.
My arm was getting a bit sore and I realized I was still holding the bat out. I pointed it at Grins and stuck out my tongue. "See, I can do it. You can't materialize a bat, can you, ya stupid pile of bones?" I took a mock swing at the plastic skeleton, pretending to knock his skull into the third deck for a 450-foot moonshot. My ribs twinged and I grunted. Corpsman Hughes was so good that I had already almost forgotten I'd been blown up yesterday.
"She's probably right, I need to get quicker." I twirled the bat before holding it out in front of me and imagining the locker opening. When I let go, the bat disappeared. "Not bad. Though the putting away seems easier than the taking out."
Reminding myself to keep summoning and dismissing the bat as Lucky had suggested, I decided to head out to explore the apartment complex.
There was another Post-It stuck to the door; another note from Donovan. It was his phone number. You should probably have this. There's a spare key on top of the picture.
I glanced at the picture of a dog playing in a yard with a big red ball. On top of the frame was a glint of silver. I snagged the key and pocketed it as I opened my contacts and added Donovan's number. Then, I headed out into the hall.
There wasn’t anything interesting on my floor, just numbered doors lining the hallway. The other two below were the same. I decided I wouldn’t go check out the top floor suite, since Freddie had warned me of the witch-daughter of Mr. Safar. Might as well play it safe. The ground floor, aside from the lobby I’d woken up in yesterday, held all the staff and service rooms, the laundry room, a gym with a decent selection of weights and machines, two conference-type rooms, and a clubhouse area with ping-pong, pool, darts a nice TV set up and a mini-bar.
When I popped my head into the clubhouse, two younger dudes were playing pool while a portable speaker pumped some popular music. One wore a basketball jersey and a backward hat, while the other one had a Hawaiian shirt and a few scraggly hairs on his chin that were pretending to be a beard. I bobbed my head in that awkward way one did when acknowledging someone a stranger. They returned the nod in turn. That seemed like enough interaction with my new neighbours, so I left.
Upon exiting the building, I stepped out into the sunshine. It was a beautiful day, a clear sky dotted with a handful of picturesque clouds and a light breeze just strong enough to keep it from becoming too warm. I closed my eyes and basked in the light, stretching my arms over my head. I was still sore from my ordeal, but I was feeling better than I had any right to be and I wanted to enjoy it. I took a moment to summon and dismiss the bat again as I surveyed my new home.
Pinevale Heights was built on private property; a large lawn of manicured green grass spread out before the building on either side of the paved driveway that ended in a small cul-de-sac in front of the main entrance. A wrought-iron fence with decorative pointed tips bordered the property and extended into an archway. The iron bars in the arch were twisted into letters spelling Pinevale Heights. Well-pruned hedges interspersed with trees surrounded the rest of the lot. Behind the main building was a collection of smaller structures, a multi-car garage for the tenants rich enough to pay the exorbitant price, a storage unit that was likely filled with seasonal things or, more likely, junk that people didn’t want to get rid of for some reason, and also an open-walled gazebo with a fire pit in the centre and surrounded by picnic tables. Between them all was a decent-sized swimming pool and adjoined hot tub and flanking either side were courts, basketball and tennis.
Of course, I barely noticed all this as my gaze was drawn to the very attractive girl in the pink swimsuit who was lounging on a floatie in the pool, over-sized sunglasses perched on her nose and drink in hand. It even had a little umbrella, as if a drink was worried about the forecast. She was scrolling on her phone and sipping absently on her possibly-lemonade-but-probably-something-a-lot-stronger.
There were several other inflatable platforms and tubes aimlessly drifting around the pool. The dozen or so lawn chairs were draped with multicoloured beach towels. Empty cans and bottles were scattered around the edges, along with paper plates and assorted food trash. A large speaker stood on a plastic table on the tennis court end of the pool, but it was silent. Two separate pairs of swim shorts were hanging off the edge of the gazebo roof. And for some reason, a crash-test dummy was sitting in one of the lawn chairs, wearing a bright orange life jacket. It was clearly the aftermath of a pool party that I was too much of a loser to ever be invited to.
Apparently I had been loitering for a while, or maybe just my mere loser presence disturbed the vibe, but either way, the girl looked up, sliding her sunglasses down her nose with a single finger. She tried to hide her disgust about as well as anyone pretending to actually enjoy kale. “You can leave it on the table over there.”
“Huh?”
The girl rolled her eyes. She had long dark hair tied up in a loose bun. Her features were sharp and vaguely Middle-Eastern, though she was a bit fairer of skin. “My package. You can leave it on the table and then get out of here.”
I lifted my hands to show her they were empty. “Do you see me holding a package?”
“Well, I tried to look at you as little as possible, so no.”
I scoffed. “Ok, well I am not a delivery guy.” I tipped my head. “Well, I guess I am, but I still don’t have whatever designer trinket your favourite influencer posted about that you just had to have.”
“Oh, so it’s not alright when I make an assumption but it’s totally cool if you do?” She crossed her arms.
I opened my mouth to retort but stopped. “That’s a good point. I’m sorry.”
She snorted. “Whatever. What are you doing here then? I haven’t seen you before.”
“Well, that’s because I just moved in. This is my first day here.”
For a few moments, it was quiet except for the soft lapping of the water in the pool filter. Then, the girl sat up, mouth open. “Oh my god, you’re the guy! The one whose house just burnt down!”
I wasn’t thrilled about being known as the house-burned-down guy, but it seemed like it might give me a good icebreaker. “Yeah, that’s me.”
The girl put her sunglasses on top of her head and looked me up and down. She noticed the walking boot on my left foot and the numerous scratches on my face. Her expression turned into what could almost be called apologetic empathy. “That sucks for you. Sorry for your loss.”
I spread my hands. “Thanks but I didn’t have a ton to lose anyway. Mostly just my due-for-a-replacement laptop and my clothes.”
“Hmm.” The girl was looking at me with more interest now. “Seems like you got out ok?”
I briefly wondered what she would do if I mentioned the grenade, but decided against it. “Yeah, just some superficial stuff mostly. Had a good doctor to patch me up.” I cleared my throat. “I’m Arthur, by the way.”
“Lexa.”
So, this was Mr. Safar’s daughter. I’d had a sneaking suspicion that was the case. She wasn’t nearly as witch-like as Freddie had made her out to be. I didn't see a broom or cauldron anywhere. Maybe she only looks like a witch in moonlight. Wait, that's werewolves.
Lexa paddled her inflatable chair over to the edge of the pool and pulled herself up and out. I managed to keep my eyes on her face, mostly. She gave me a practiced smile, revealing white teeth. “We got off to a bit of a bad start, so let’s try again.” She held out her hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Arthur. You’re gonna love it here, I’ll make sure of it. In fact, once I heard about you and the fire, I started planning a welcoming party for you.”
Well, this was a curveball. “You did?”
“Of course! You’ve just lost everything and my father was so generous to give you a place to stay. You know, it would be good if everyone could come together to make you feel welcome here at Pinevale.” Lexa grinned and her eyes sparkled with a glint that didn’t seem entirely friendly. “You’ll be the centre of attention! Everyone will want to meet you!”
“Oh… good,” I said, feeling like this party was definitely probably not a good idea. But I was new and the super rich, popular daughter of the man who owned the complex and had gifted me an apartment was doing me a favour, apparently. I couldn’t refuse that, could I?
Lexa put her hands on her hips and smiled again. “The party is on Friday. Be at my suite at 7:00, ok?”
“Um, yeah, I’ll be there,” I promised without really realizing I’d just agreed.
“Perfect.” Lexa’s eyes glimmered as she walked away toward the main building. “See you there. It’s gonna be a blast.”
And just like that, Lexa Safar disappeared inside, leaving me confused and concerned and definitely blushing. She had so effortlessly put me off-guard and steered the conversation, all while batting her eyelashes and giving me an award-winning smile.
“What just happened?” I wondered aloud.
Maybe Freddie did have a point.
But she hadn’t proved the witch theory right yet, so I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. I’d go to the party. Now, I was always the kid who rarely was invited to parties growing up and only ever because someone’s parents had made them invite me. I had no idea what to do at a party, especially one with college kids and absolutely zero supervision.
“I’m gonna need some help,” I decided. If I was going to Lexa Safar’s party, I wasn’t going alone.