I almost died.
I’m sitting with my back to the disgusting wall of the alley where I left my stuff. I’m trying to stop myself from hyperventilating.
I managed to shove on my civilian clothes and stuff my mask in my purse before what happened sunk in, so I don’t have to worry about people catching me as Intelegant.
I was careless and I fell off a freaking three-story building!
If Naturalist hadn’t been there, I would be dead, or worse I could have gotten hurt in a way where I wouldn’t be able to move and then they would have taken me to a hospital and everyone would know that Intelegant’s really me, and-
I have to calm down. Someone can still find me here and then the media will have a field day. Just imagine the headlines:
“Jackie Smalls Caves to the Stress”
“Smalls Can’t Take it Anymore”
“The Chairman of Smalls Industries: No Longer Fit For Her Position?”
“Jackie Smalls: The Disappointment of Her Family”
And then everyone would know that I don’t live up to my parents. They’d all realize how much of a failure I am and-and…
Calm down.
Just calm down!
I need to stop that. Yelling at myself won’t help.
I need to take a deep breath.
In.
And out.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
It’s going to be okay. Everything’s fine. I didn’t die. I’m going to walk out of here, go to my car, and drive home. Then I’m going to lay on the couch with popcorn and a horror movie and forget everything that happened today. The horror movie will make me forget everything else, so by the time it’s done I’ll feel better.
Something tickles my neck. I turn and-
Oh my freaking god! There’s a huge beetle staring at me. It’s so close that my breath moves it’s antennas.
I jerk away from it. It doesn’t fall in my shirt, but it’s still really close to me! I smack it with my hand. The first hit doesn’t do anything, but the second sends it flying into the opposite wall. It hits with a thud, falls and then it slowly starts walking away.
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It crawls out of the alley, to where people are walking. All of them are too engrossed in what they are doing and where they’re going to notice me or the bug.
The step, step, stepping of people and the whooshing of cars as they pass by. Mumbles of the people on their phones and crinkles of whatever is in this alley with me. It’s too loud to think, but that’s okay. I don’t have time to think, I don’t have time to freak out.
I put myself on autopilot as I stand. I swing my purse over my shoulder and join the wave of people.
It’s easy not to think. What’s hard is keeping my breathing steady.
I’m surrounded.
There are so many people.
They bump into each other and me, but none of them seem to care.
I hate crowds. They’re too loud and they make me feel like I’m suffocating; like the waves of people are really saltwater rushing into my lungs and-
I need to calm down.
I press my palm to my other wrist and feel my pulse through a vein.
BUM-BUM
BUM-BUM
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It’s very calming.
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Just another block and then I’ll get into my car and I won’t have to deal with everyone being everywhere anymore.
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Always good to remember that I’m alive.
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Someone grabs my arm as they walk past.
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She's a tall, well-dressed girl.
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“You’re Jackie Smalls, aren’t you?” she asks.
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“Yes.” I slip into the persona I present to the public. It's a carbon copy of my mom. The persona is who I become when I’m dealing with business and since the real me is too busy freaking out to deal with this person I’ll be my other self. This stern buisness self is confident enough to ask, “What do you want?”
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“I’m a reporter for Breaking News and I’d like a private interview with you.”
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A reporter. This isn’t good. She could find out everything if I mess up. “I don’t do private interviews.” I try to shrug her off but she doesn’t let go of my arm.
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“I know that, but this is special,” she says.
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I raise an eyebrow at her. “And how is that?”
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She leans closer and whispers into my ear: “I know your secret.”
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“...What?”
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“I know that you are Intelegant.”