Despite the itchy feeling—caused by the painfully dry air in the cavern—between my shoulder blades, which ran to my neck and across my shoulders, it was nice to be where there were so few people. So much so I was worried how I would feel when I get out of here and back up to Three Bridge. The noise and chaos and confusion and business was all gone.

In its place, the dimly lit cavern was deathly silent, except for my breathing and Nolicia ’s pained breaths. The rancid smell of my daughter’s wounded leg overwhelmed the fresh smelling air, with its strange mix of vegetation and flowers.

That rancid smell was worrying me. That smell called forth a horrid nostalgic feeling: few of my companions had survived after I smelt it on them. I could see them smiling and laughing, and drinking so much to hide the fact that they were in intense pain. The morning after, their knives would be stained red, and we would need to replace the bedding. More than once, it was me who aided the drunken companions to stain their knives red.

But Nolicia would be different, I hoped.

Ignoring the smell, I focused upon her. She looked so small and innocent wearing my ruined tunic. Her vivid, glowing green highlighted hair tucked within its engulfing formless mass. Her perfect pearly-like silvery skin glistened in the dull darkness, tinted a strange green colour by the glowing moss.

I had no idea how long we sat in silence, but it was nice just being in the presence of someone without the need for words. Her leg with its festering wound worried me. Still, I knew that she wasn ’t in urgent danger. I also knew that Tan-bei was nearby in the chapel, diligently working with An-chau to help set up future plans for the growth of our guild.

By now Nolicia had stopped hiding her face away from me in the dull shadows cast by the oddly glowing green moss which dotted the rough undulating cavernous celling.

Though she was biting her lip, doing her best to put up with the pain from the festering wound on her leg. Gripped in her silver sheened small fist was a thin, dull metal pole. It only just extended out past the ends of her small fist. From the way she was gripping it, I expected it to be something to help her. Yet it didn ’t seem to be doing anything for her.

I died, she said in a quiet voice inside my head. This is twelfth life.

I couldn ’t quite understand what she was talking about.

This first life I see you alive. Where come from you die before I born.

The emotional barrier I put up between us held firm. I dared not reach out to hold her tight in my arms.

You killed by someone. Not know who. Head display over Brook Gate. Never taken down. There was a lingering moment of silence before Nolicia carried on. First life live to thirty before die. You head remain over gate. Thing very bad in that life. See same bad start now. Next life learnt about you. Learnt you hero not villain. Me be hero. I die before first bleed.

I could sense from the troubled feel of her voice that there was more to what she was saying about the end of that life. For once, I was glad for the darkness of the cavern as I used it to do my best to hide the tears that I felt welling up in my eyes.

‘How did you get to come here?’

Fourth life discover the tunnels and caverns. Nineth life discover The Cracks. This life pushed into one. Ended here.

‘We need to get Tan-bei here to heal you.’

No. She said with a firm pressure behind the single word.

‘Why?’

Me tired Daddy. Me lived many lives. Many years. Me miss real mama. You death made her strong. This mama weak. Clutches strong. Not get strong.

Nolicia made to make her way over to me. I moved instead, not paying attention to the low cavern celling, and knocked my head on it. Partly laughing over my misfortune despite feeling horrid about what Nolicia was saying I collapsed next to her. She moved next to me, dragging her wounded leg behind her, and snuggled against my muscular and scarred torso allowing me to carefully wrap my arms around her.

For a while she was silent, looking at the scars that covered my body. I thought that she would ask about them. She closed her eyes.

Me hate seeing home die. Or it path to death. It never one way. Different each life. Fire, plague, m ægen rebellion, beast, clearance, koll-at-ti-kax-tia. That word she sounded out unsure of herself. But I knew what she was on about a kollatikaxta; a powerful explosion caused by a remnant exploding. It was what the Night of Destruction was, an unknown nemeto—a remnant location—on a neighbouring island which erupted.

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

The historic fear and worry of the tower nemeto—which was officially named Beoden—exploding in Lundein gave the Watchers of Beoden vast powers within Lundein and in the surrounding area. They were powers which rivalled even the most powerful guilds, nobles, the temple, and the royal family itself.

‘Is there a remnant below Three Bridge?’ I asked, half guessing the answer. The tower was well controlled by the Watchers. I had seen it when Gomes had taken me to the Watcher’s headquarters, which was overlooked by the tower which towered above all in that region of the Lundein.

Yes. Tower built to watch over it.

If what Nolicia was saying was right, then the tower, which was ancient, was younger than what was to be found beneath Three Bridge. But what was to be found beneath Three Bridge?

Daddy, me no tell. Me know. Me no tell. You no ready.

‘But if there is going to be an explosion, then I—’

Daddy, forest made power go low. Ruin fine now. Danger come from within home now.

‘What do you mean?’

Nolicia dropped the dull metal pole onto the ground.

Me risk all. Got that. Use last of it power. It dead now. It future path guide. Me saw many danger. Did best to guide to good place. Failed. Daddy, you need to save home.

‘From what?’ No, that was the wrong thing to ask. Before Nolicia could answer my question, I shook my head. ‘I’m sorry, Nolicia. I’m gonna be selfish. I want to get to know you and the other you when she ’s born.’

Carefully, and easily, I picked her up slight and malnourished body up with one arm and started crawling. This time I was careful of the lower parts of the cavern celling. It was one thing knocking my head against it. But I was worried about putting any more strain upon Nolicia ’s poor body.

Daddy, no. Me tired. Me want die.

‘I wanted to die too.’

But you hero, Daddy, you save people.

‘I did. Maybe I will again. But I was saved.’

Hero no need to be saved.

Carefully paying attention not only to the surroundings, skirting stalactites and stalagmites, but the words I hoped would reach her. ‘I was a Guardian back then. I fell in love with Sirona.’

I still missed her. Sometimes even now, surrounded by others that I love, wanted to speak to her and tell her of all the good things happening in my life. It was hard when I saw small things in the way that those I love which reminded me of Sirona. It was in the way that Morag was straight forward and painfully honest—when we were alone—and full of duty and strength in public. The way Tan-bei played with her hair, even the way she styled her hair, was similar to Sirona. Then there was the jealous, passionate, and caring love-making of Sara.

I realised that I had been silent for too long and not really paying attention to where I was going. During that mindless crawl, I had come to the end of the cavern and the stairs, which looked like someone had carved them out of the cavern wall. Taking a deep breath, I stopped for a moment and looked down into the upturned wide eyes of Nolicia as she looked at me.

‘Once Sirona died, I wanted to die. Did my best to die. Couldn’t die.’ I was silent for a moment.

Nolicia's head shifted to focus upon the layers upon layers of scars on my body and arms.

‘Orla saved me.’ I said in a quiet voice. ‘Helped me see that even I still had something to live for. Then there was Gomes…’

I choked back a moment of loneliness: he was gone now. Maybe we would see each other, but things between us would never be the same again. I knew this, had seen it happen in the past. It hurt to see him go, but I knew he was still alive and heading to what I hoped was a better life for him and Lucia, the love of his life.

‘Sara and Tan-bei and Morag have all come into my life. You too.’ I gave her a gentle smile. ‘I would miss all that I had done with all of you. And maybe I can reunite with Orla too. That last matters little now. What matters is that I have this life now that I could never have dreamed about after Sirona was gone.

‘You are part of that life, Nolicia. I don’t want you to die. I want to get to know you better. I want you to help teach Sara how to be strong. I want you to get along with Tan-bei. I want you to be a big sister to the other you. I want you to see me as I save our home, not by myself, but with others. More than that, I want you to help me save your home. For you to become a hero in deeds. ’

It had taken countless hours over months for Orla to help me see that life was worth living. I didn ’t have that time. The rancid wound on Nolicia’s leg didn’t give me that luxury. And my words…

My words weren ’t as grand or honey-tongued as Gomes’ were.

I just hoped that my feelings behind my words were strong and that they came out clear enough that Nolicia could understand what I was trying to say.

You nasty, Daddy. Was all she said.