Raizel wasn’t sure how to respond to her general feeling of placidity and interest in being open with the lizardfolk she’d found sunbathing, something about them was familiar, making her feel at ease and compelled to speak with them. It was an odd subconscious reaction she failed to stop as before she knew it they were walking around together under the guise of searching for Stilicho even though she already knew exactly where he was.

It was just the excuse she came up with in the moment to convince the lizard to join her, the feeling of wanting to latch onto him as they meandered about looking for ‘clues’ as to her blonde companions' whereabouts was strong and she’d not even managed to feel that way about said blonde who she knew to be her old partner.

Or at least she was convinced as much until now.

Never having found those more monstrous people in the world attractive until she laid eyes on the Lizard.

“Have you thought about asking some of the guards to help?” The deep crude voice Marduk cut into her thoughts.

Turning her eyes to him she raised a brow as he stared back for a moment before dismissing his suggestion.

“Right- yeah- you said no one wants to talk to a demon.”

Her thoughts turned to how she had changed in the past century, at first she had been the same as ever living as she always did, but after a while it became tiring when there was no one around to encourage eventually becoming a shell of her former self.

Where she once might have started the day with a declaration of confidence and excitement now she awoke slowly with a mind of slow methodical thinking and actions that were never more than within the purview of what she needed- no exaggeration, no exaltation and no fun.

Raizel- no- Alexandra missed that person she was, for a short time with stilicho she had gotten it back, but now it was long gone.

Or she thought as much until without thinking she was bouncing around like a schoolgirl without a care in the world, conversation with the lizardfolk easily spilling from her- helped by his reciprocation of the fact as though he had longed for it same as she had.

Almost as quickly as she had talked about looking for her blonde friend she’d forgotten the ruse and the pair wandered around the many streets talking, small things, big things- about their travels.

“Then I wrestled with a Mushroom man” The dry matter of fact nature of his delivery caused Raizel to burst into laughter.

“And you say this was all because someone told you to ‘be more adventurous’?” Her question received a nod and shrug.

“What good has your being more adventurous brought you?” She asked and something about the way his demeanour shifted made her think she’d stepped on a sore subject or his tail- but she checked that much and she hadn’t.

“Not a lot…” A long weary sigh left the man. “But I guess I did make a bunch of friends at the end of the day…” his hand went to his belt and ran a thumb over the pommel of a black refractive knife.

The Ogre woman couldn’t help but ask “Did you find love?”

That part of her that loved watching reality-t.v and reading bad romance novels sparked beneath all her other emotions and memories. A hundred years was a long time, but it would never snuff certain aspects of who she was.

Her question caused the man to stop in the street where they were for a moment, his red and gold speckled eyes watching her, trying to understand her baseless motive, eventually after a minute when they found nothing he kept walking and she followed along. She didn’t get an answer, but in a way she was sure that was one in itself.

Alexandra could still remember all the times Matthew would refuse to answer a question when his answer was yes, like some kind of child. But considering all the time he spent with them teaching she was sure he incidentally picked up their bad habits after a while, especially the reclusive insecurity about who he was and how he went about doing things- never thinking he was enough or believing in the dreams he had.

To him they were dreams; far off distant clouds to be admired but not achieved.

To her they were goals that needed to be achieved no matter what.

Great impossibilities that were the kinds of things Heroes were meant to do.

What was the point in aspiring to be like your Heroes if you didn’t make the concentrated effort to become greater than them or do as much as them?

This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

She once said to Matthew she wished to see what expression he made when the day finally came that he found something greater than any other wish and he managed to accomplish it.

That it was a disservice to himself if he didn’t at least want for something and chase it.

[I’m not like you Alex, I can’t just make these big, great and grand dreams a reality! Not everyone is trying to conquer the world with the next breath- some of us are just happy doing as we always do.]

As though the conversation had just happened, the memory played into her mind fresh as the sun felt on her skin right now. It had been so long since she had heard his voice that she almost burst into tears in the street, stopping to hide her face away when the lizardman looked at her.

Despite his words she could remember exactly how much he took her words to heart, he tried to change for the better and she helped as much as she could- even finally managing to make him take what became their final trip together. Every inch of their last day alive was seared into her mind and occasionally she would dream it and it would be altered slightly until finally one day she couldn’t remember his face, the way his voice sounded and the warmth of his touch.

The only thing that remained was the cold splash of arctic water and surprise as her eyes met his under the water as they tried to save the boy thrown overboard.

Recovering from her moment of weakness at the recovery of a memory the pair continued onward for some time until they reappeared along the shoreline of the Oasis not far from where they started and the Lizardfolk caught onto her ruse.

“Your friend was never lost was he?” He asked, red eyes looked into hers in a familiar way.

“He wasn’t no.” She answered letting the tension build in her chest waiting for a response of backlash.

Some part of her found something about him made her want to let go and forget about the world.

‘All these feelings, all these memories coming back- it- it can’t be coincidence?’ Raizel asked herself as she kept his gaze, feeling no awkwardness from it the way she might have with others.

As if to break all the tension she held, his next words sent her into a fit of laughter.

“You aren’t going to try fuck me are you?” Marduk asked, having the gaul to be sincerely worried about her advances on him.

Raizels mad cackling and howls of laughter echoed out as she doubled over.

The sheer genuineness of his question spiralled her for almost five minutes before she recovered, wheezing and panting as she wiped tears from her eyes.

Giddiness fluttered in her chest from the laughing, it had been a long time since she could indulge in even smiling. So to find someone again after so long who could do so much in so little time…

“You’re quite the joy to be around, but no, we aren’t going to.” She replied letting slip her feelings.

With a sigh he said “Good, my friend said I keep attracting all the monster women and it's becoming a problem.”

A white eyebrow arched.

“Were you meant to say that out loud?” She couldn’t help but ask.

A sound akin to a groan erupted from Marduk as he dragged a hand down his neck. “No. I wasn’t.”

A silence settled between the pair as they stood on sand looking out over the dim sky as the sun had almost fully set with a long streak of pinkish-red lit up the sky. The flight of excitement finally having fled Raizel she began to feel trepidation at the idea of leaving, thoughts of not finding the lizardfolk again arising in her causing an odd sense of abandonment.

So in an attempt to make the moment last a little longer she went to ask a question but was cut off by him speaking.

“I’ll see you around Raiga.” With little more than a halfhearted wave he left walking off.

Not stopping him she watched as he left.

‘Why do I have the urge to chase after him?’ She asked herself as unnatural responses sparked in her mind, telling her to follow after him.