Scarlet 007 is now at war with the Empire!
The plot thickens! …Wait, that’s way too fast, slow down!?
“The name of your syndicate…what is it.” the main character said, letting himself be helped up.
You are asking now!? Late, son, late! Damn, it’s almost the same as last time, when my editor dragged me to some shady room in some corner of the company…
Ami (editor): Everyone, I brought him, just as promised!
Shady Lady A: Ohhhh~ He’s just like you’ve said!
Shady Lady B: Aww~ Kawaiii!!! He’s so short and small…how old is he!?
Ami: He’s a legitimate 28-year-old geezer. Don’t be fooled by his baby-face, he’s a total hentai.
Shady Lady A: Kyaaah~ No way! -grabs me in a choke-hold while ruffling my hair-
Me: Sdlfjsldjfk!? -choking-
Shady Lady C: Hue hue hue…my imagination is running wild. This will work…heh heh heh… -pushes up glasses-
Me: ***********~! (Hey, wait…what are you doing to me, stop touching me there…nooooo~!!!)
Damn you, Ami!!! You know how traumatic that experience was!? Also, you said that it was for a shoujo manga reference, but nothing ever came out of it! You liarrrrrrrrrr! Molester!!!! Perverted himedere lady with huge oppai-
“The ‘Midnight Raven,’” Master Zen replied, “and coincidentally, you have just killed off your new teammates tonight.”
“Coincidentally” my a**. MC, you got set up. He was the one who sent me, er, Assassin A, after you in the beginning! Realize this please, I beg you!
“…I’m sorry. Where are the other members?”
“They were the only members. Now it’s just you, and me.”
Ok, MC. This is literally a tell-tale sign that your new master is a con-man. What kind of syndicate has only seven members!? And even if it does only have seven members, none of the other members apart from the Master can do s***. Those bodybuilders were just muscles that breathe and take up space. Only useful as meat-shields, nothing else!
…Now is the time to pack your bags, and get the hell out of-
“I see.”
…
The moment when you realize that the main character of the story is dumber than a duck, the tears just start rolling. No, wait, not even a duck, even a duck is smarter than him…A truck, yeah, a truck!
Truck A: Hey, homie, not cool man, not cool at all.
Dang, sorry Truck A. I didn’t meant to insult you by comparing you to that dumba**. I hope that you will find it in your kind heart, eh, engines, to forgive this sinful one.
“What faction does your syndicate belong to? Are you with the Empire, or the Revolutionaries?”
“The latter.”
“…I see.”
Note to self: The Ultimate MC is someone who will rank first in the “Dumb as f*** list.” He has white hair, red eyes, and happens to be called Scarlet 007.
You have submitted a [ List]. Would you like to [Review] the [ List]?
???
Ignoring the two, I nodded in my mind.
[Untitled List]:
1. Is an idiot.
…
Oh, this looks fun.
I thought of edits to the list in my mind.
[The Ultimate MC]:
1. Is an idiot.
2. Likes old men.
3. Likes to get his a** kicked by old men.
4. Likes to say “I see” without actually seeing the point.
Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.
“But, I don’t think you and I can go against the Empire alone.”
5. Asks useless questions or states the obvious, then goes “…” for an answer.
“…”
6. Seems to like stripping just by how he is openly showing off his muscles right now.
“So, if you are curious, I do have a plan in mind…”
Hey…what is this button…
7. (-’๏_๏’-)
8. ಥ_ಥ
9. ( /)w(\✿)
10. (◕︿◕✿)
…Haha, that’s kind of interesting! What about this?
∞. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
∞+1. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
∞+2. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
∞+3. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
…Damn! Too many! The list is endless now, delete delete…where the heck is the delete button!? Who the heck invented this s***!? That damn internet troll!!!
“…How’s that for a plan?”
It’ll take me at least a few billion light years to delete all the lennys one by one…ok, change of plans. Deleting the list.
You cannot delete [The Ultimate MC] list.
Please try again later.
★~(◠︿◕✿)
Mamamiya! Ayuadame, amigo! Screw it all, I’m hitting all the buttons at once!!!
“…I’m willing to try it out.”
…Wait, what? Could you please repeat that? What did I miss!?
All the lennys suddenly disappeared.
I turned my attention back to the system screen.
[The Ultimate Tofu]
1. Add the chicken stock, cornstarch, soy sauce and sugar to a small bowl and stir to combine.
2. Heat a wok or large frying pan until hot.
3. Add the sesame oil, garlic, ginger and green onions and stir-fry with a spatula until fragrant.
4. Add the black beans and Sichuan pepper and continue stir-frying.
5. 豆腐豆腐豆腐豆腐豆腐豆腐豆腐.
…I really don’t know what to say at this point.
If Ami asks me for a report later, she’s getting the recipe for tofu instead.
“Good. We will eventually get them to join our side.”
I have a feeling that I just missed something really important. More important than a spoiler for my favorite manga, 0ne Punch M@n…and that reminds me, since I’m stuck here, does that mean I will miss the next issue!? Nooooooo!!!! I’m going back, I’m going back right now-
You have just joined the [Nameless Cult].
The goal of the [Nameless Cult] is to convert members to the Revolutionary effort.
The current members of the [Nameless Cult] are:
1. Old Man (Leader)
2. MC (Follower)
3. Wine Glass A (Mascot)
…
What the heck is with this story!?
To be continued...
-----------------
Note: I feel that this chapter is more crazy and random than the other ones...or is it just me? Also, credits to google for the ultimate mapo tofu recipe!
One more chapter may be coming up in a few hours, maybe (if I don't fall asleep, that is). If not, tomorrow for sure.