How were we going to bullshit our way out of this one? There were still four of them left after the first one.

“If you attack me- I’m not responsible- for what happens.”

“The fuck are you talking about?”

And with that all four of them were rushing towards me now. This was completely different from all the movies and shows I had seen. I was able to land one good front kick to the balls and drop one of them before being slammed with a flurry of blows and forced to hold my arms up in a defensive position. I guess even the other guy had to take a beating from time to time. Why did he keep flicking his body back and forth though? They were still hitting us anyway.

Crack!

Did he really pull the same trick twice? Who even decided to hit his elbow anyways? There were still two of them pounding away at us and it didn’t feel like we had any more room to breathe than when there were still three of them. The only good thing about this fight was that our back was up to a wall and we had somehow managed to stay standing.

Crunch!

While I was trying to figure out how the hell I was supposed to learn to fight from this my body lurched to the side. It sounded like one of them had just punched the wall. There was no way this was really working. What now? I guess it was a one on one now but I was still taking hits. In the midst of his hit my arms unfolded and one of my fists flew straight into his throat, making him collapse then and there. I guess that's that then. Will I be called to the principal's office? Fuck, even if I was the one who got hit first I knew damn well how fights in school ended.

“You bitch!”

No, not this again! One of them had pulled a knife and was rushing towards me. I grabbed a pencil from who knows where and tossed it straight at his face. In the brief moment he had paused to cover his eyes I had picked up a chair and slammed it into his head. That had merely staggered him and I was sending the chair his way again. This hit knocked him down but my body didn’t stop there. I slammed the chair into him a couple more times before putting it down and taking a seat in it.

You take care of the rest.

“Is this the fucking UK? Why do they keep pulling knives?”

“Are you ok?”

“No, I just got jumped.”

“I can’t believe he pulled a knife.”

“You’d better start believing then.”

“At least I got it all on camera, now we can definitely get him expelled, if not imprisoned.”

I was saved! This crazy woman’s bad habit had finally done some good for once in her life!

“Send me the video too. I need to learn how to fight.”

“You think you can learn how to fight from that? You just got beat up the whole time.”

“Fights aren’t about- technique.”

“Since you’re here, give us some tips.”

“No- Don’t feel like it.”

“What’s going on here!”

Here comes the storm. I wonder if dad will get upset, he always told me not to get caught even if I did do something bad.

“Is your school raising criminals? Someone almost got stabbed just now. I wonder what would happen if everyone found out about that?”

“What are you talking about?”

Wow, what an absolute girlboss. Good job Eva.

We should keep her by our side. She is useful.

So you don’t hate her all of sudden?

Never did.

“Let’s go to the principal's office and further discuss this.”

“Sure, let’s go.”

…

“Are you hurt Vaun?”

“Just some more bruises added on to the ones I already have.”

“I’m worried about what you’re up to these days.”

“I didn’t expect them to jump me either. I just wanted to have a fun day at school.”

“I’m thinking of transferring you.”

“I don’t mind. As long as- No, I want to stay here.”

“Are you sure? They’ll keep bothering you if you stay.”

“They won’t be staying.”

“...”

“Who beat my son?!”

No fucking way, is this what I think this is?

What?

Arrogant mom defends her shitty kid. She is pretty hot though in comparison to the ones in the shows.

Oh. I have seen that before in shows. Why are you worried about how hot she is though?

We might be killing again sooner than expected.

What the fuck? No! We are not doing that. Do you really have to solve everything with violence?

What the fuck are we supposed to do? I’m not going to wait for shit to get fucked before taking action. It’s better to kill them all preemptively.

And you are sure they are going to do something?

I sure as hell am not going to find out.

Let’s just relax and see what happens first, we both know that whatever we’ve seen is just fiction anyways. Real life is different.

Is it? You’d be surprised.

What now?

I’ll tell you when I figure everything out.

“Ma’am we need you to sit down and relax. This is a very serious matter.”

“That’s right. It is a serious matter! Bring the one who beat my son and have him expelled right now!”

I really want to kill her.

You are just pure evil aren’t you?

Someone needs to give her a reality check.

It’s not our responsibility to fix all the idiots in this world.

You’re so boring.

For no reason in particular I pulled out my phone and started recording before handing it to mom.

“Hey, you unreasonably loud woman. Can you please shut your mouth? Not everyone enjoys your squealing.”

“What did you say? Who do you think you are? You’re the one who hit my son aren’t you?”

Clap!

Wow, like mother like son I guess. It had only taken her a moment to come to the wise decision of attacking me. I didn’t even bother to block and tanked the hit.

“Did that make you happy? Do it again.”

Clap!

“What a remarkable display of the respect and discipline your family has. You and your son truly are the most wondrous examples of what human beings should be. Uh uh uh. I didn’t say you could hit me again did I? If you do it again that’ll be assault on a minor.”

Clap!

Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

“Oh, ouchy. That hurt so much, you’re so strong and powerful!”

As she winded up to hit me again mom suddenly jumped up and got in the way. In that moment everything turned into a blur and when I caught up again I had grabbed the woman by the throat and a growl was coming out of my throat.

“Do you really want to die? I’ll fucking skin you alive and feed you your own fucking flesh! Do you understand me?”

“L- let go of her Vaun!”

My grip loosened and I stepped back. For the first time ever I felt this strange sensation, like there were bubbles in my blood and my bones had turned into a radiator.

“Hey, fucktards. Restrain this woman before she gets hurt. Why’d you jump in the way mom? I would’ve been fine. Just worry about yourself from now on.”

“You think I’ll just do nothing while my son gets beat up?”

“You could’ve just smacked her or something. I don’t like how you jumped in the way like that. Promise not to do that ever again- If you ever get hurt for me- I’ll just kill myself.”

“Don’t say that-”

“I really will. You are my only reason to live…”

“... Okay, fine. Just stop putting yourself in dangerous situations.”

“It wasn’t dangerous until you got involved, I’ll be fine.”

“Now that everyone has gathered it’s time to discuss the issue at hand. Ms. Limewell, this morning, your son Geoffrey pulled out a knife and tried to stab someone. That someone is our student over there.”

“What did he do to make my son so upset?”

“Just take a look at this video.”

As she watched the video her face slowly morphed from contempt to complete panic and despair. To be fair, if that was dad he would’ve been more upset at the fact that I had used a knife and still gotten my ass beat.

“W- well, he insulted them first! He’s obviously some kind of thug. Maybe they were just fighting back because he bullied them all the time.”

Wow? Really? All of a sudden I was the bully?

That’s how life works.

“Well, as of this morning numerous students have all been questioned and the large majority of them are saying that your son was part of a gang of bullies that was terrorizing the students. Regardless of that, this video clearly shows them attacking our student first. Disciplinary measures can be taken but that will most definitely result in legal troubles for your son-”

“No- we can’t do that! How should we settle this? I don’t want this video to leave the room at all! In fact! Delete it right this instant!”

“Wow, quite good at getting rid of evidence huh? Currently, I have possession of the video- and not only that one. But also the one of you hitting a minor to protect your criminal of a son. So what I’m thinking- is that you get on your hands and knees and beg me for forgiveness, and if so, we can discuss what to do with these videos.”

“Are you out of your mind!”

“So what if I am? Whose son attacked me? Whose mother attacked me? I didn’t force them to do any of it. So what’s your choice? Take responsibility or never show your face again?”

“I…”

Huh? Was she really going to get on her hands and knees? Whilst watching this spectacle my hands quickly maneuvered my phone and started taking another recording.

“You…?”

When she noticed I was filming a flash of red shot into her face and I could see her shaking from how hard she was gritting her teeth.

“I’m sorry! I’m begging for forgiveness!”

“Why are you sorry?”

“I am sorry for hitting you!”

“That’s all?”

“And I’m sorry for my son attacking you!”

“Attacking me? I don’t think that was a simple attack, what did he try to attack me with?”

“I’m sorry that my son tried to stab you!”

“He was basically trying to kill me, I would’ve died if I didn’t protect myself. Don’t you think you should be apologizing for that?”

“I- I’m sorry that my son tried to kill you!”

“I accept your apology. Now let’s forget about all of this and go our separate ways.”

“What about the videos?”

“Well, I want to keep them.”

“You said you would delete them!”

“I said we would discuss what to do with them. In any case, it is not convenient to do so here. Give me a way to contact you and we can arrange a meeting to discuss what to do with them.”

After a brief moment of thought she grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled her phone number onto it.

Wow, blackmail really does work.

It’s also a crime.

Crime this, crime that. All you ever worry about is consequences, you don’t even bother to figure out how to deal with them.

Still, what are you planning to do?

You’ll figure it out sooner or later.

That does not reassure me at all.

Don’t worry so much. I’m not that stupid.

“Let’s go home Vaun.”

“I still need to get today's materials.”

“Are you really worrying about your schoolwork right now?”

“How else am I supposed to be successful in life?”

You fool.

“Fine, I’ll have the materials sent to our home. Just come home with me.”

“Can we stop by the outdoors shop dad usually goes to?”

“What do you want from there?”

“A gift.”

“Ok, we’ll stop by then.”

“Thanks mom.”

What do you want to buy from there?

Something.

…

“I can’t let you buy this honey.”

“I get attacked on a daily basis now. I need something to make people stop. Plus, it’s legal to use this.”

“Fine. Just be careful.”

“Don’t worry mom, it’s not like I’m gonna jump into a pool or something.”

“I know you won’t.”

A taser? I never would’ve expected you to choose this.

Me and this thing have quite the history.

What kind of history could you possibly have besides mine?

The kind that happens when you fall asleep.

What? You can-

Don’t ask so many questions.

No for real- you can use my body when I sleep?

That’s for you to find out.

No, we are not going to be finding this out.

Whatever you say pal.

I’m serious. Don’t you dare do anything while I’m asleep.

Mm, ok. Stop whining and go pay for the taser.

What are you planning to do with this anyways.

Nothing. I just want it.

I totally believe you. What was I doing with my phone now?

‘Let’s meet at the cafe on Burberry and Turrick. Does 6 P.M sound like a good time?’

Already? You’re gonna contact her this soon?

Best to not let her calm down from her panic.

You’re a fucking psycho.

Wrong, I’m a sociopath. There’s a difference.

Of course you would care about the difference.

It’s the little things that count.

…

Do you think she’ll show up with a bunch of bodyguards?

This isn’t a movie dumbass, we have more money than her family and we still don’t have guards.

You should’ve seen my girlfriend's family.

What?

Look! There she is!

Your girlfriend?

No! Ms. Lickwell or whatever the fuck her name is.

Why was I waving so cheerfully? Didn’t we hate this woman? Her eyes easily locked onto the animated fool that was me and her path redirected to us. She plopped down with the weight of an angry feather and rained down artillery with her eyes.

“What do you want?”

“Look, Ms. Limewell. We both aren’t stupid. Your son is in the wrong, and I’m just doing what I must to stop him from harassing me. I have no evil intentions, I don’t hate your family, I have absolutely nothing against you. I just want to be left alone and to my own devices. Look- Do you see this? Do you really think that all of this is from today alone?”

How the fuck do you have such a nice body dude?

I don’t know. It just kind of happened.

It just happened my ass, you look better than I do. Fucking genetics.

“People are looking.”

“They should look, so that everyone can ask who did this to me.”

In a panic she jumped up from her seat and yanked my shirt down.

“I thought you were going to hit me again there.”

“Be quiet!”

“I have a proposition for you. If you agree then I’d be willing to delete every single video I have of you and your son. It’s nothing too difficult.”

“What is it?”

“Did you drive here?”

“I did.”

“Let’s talk in your car then. What? Do I look like the type to do something crazy? I’m not stupid, if I was your son wouldn’t be in a hospital right now- he’d be in a morgue.”

Dude, we are definitely going to get kidnapped.

She’s a white suburban mom you dumbass!

Who knows what’s going on in her head right now?

Me, I know.

Enlighten me then.

Just sit back and enjoy the results.

“Drive to the alcohol store nearby.”

“What do you want alcohol for?”

“That’s how people from our side get over our differences. Wouldn’t expect you and your wannabe son to know much about our customs though.”

“What do you mean by your side?”

“Actual business men… or women.”

“Of course I know, but aren’t you a minor?”

“Do I act like a minor to you? I know how to keep private matters private. Just go grab whatever is strongest, only strong alcohol can build strong bonds..”

“...”

…

“Well we’ve got the alcohol. Do you know anywhere peaceful and private?”

“...”

…

“This works I guess. But isn’t your husband home?”

“He isn’t.”

“He’d be so upset if he found out you invited another man inside your home when he was gone.”

“Be careful with your words.”

“You’re right.”

It wasn’t a spectacular home, but it was still above average. I somehow navigated my way to the dining table and took a seat.

“We’ll discuss here. To begin our discussion, one drink together to dissolve our bad feelings towards each other.”

She shot me a suspicious glance but still downed the shot anyways. Wait, I had just dranken too, I’d never done that before. What if we collapsed?

“So first off, your son. He’s going to want revenge. You need to assure me that he won’t bother me again.”

“We’ll have him transfer schools and keep a close watch on him.”

“Then let’s each take a drink to celebrate the resolving of this issue.”

What kind of alcohol was this? It tasted kind of decent.

“Next, my mom is a little concerned about my activities. I need you to reassure her that me and your son just had a little misunderstanding.”

“Fine. Just tell me when you want us to meet.”

“Wonderful, a toast to that as well.”

Nope, still kinda rubbed me the wrong way. I would never understand how anyone could put this into their bodies.

“Now, onto something that may cause issues. Money, your son and his friends have taken quite the sum of money from me. Totaling to exactly nine-hundred eighty-six dollars and forty-seven cent. I would like a repayment of ten times that amount.”

“Ten- Ten thousand then. I- I’ll give you ten thousand dollars.”

“Then send the money over and we will drink once more to help us forget all that your son has ever done to me.”

Was she drunk already? She was having quite the difficult time just tapping the screen. This was worse than watching a snail race. She finally managed to finish her business and the notification of my bank account increasing confirmed what I had been thinking. This swindler was going to blackmail his way to richness.

“Wonderful! All of your son's debts have been cleared! Now we have to deal with you. You hit me three times earlier and raised your hand against my mother. For that you must be punished, finish the rest of this bottle?”

“Are you- are you… trying to kill me?”

“You can either finish this bottle or strip nude and let me take photos, if you don’t do either I’ll send all these videos out to every person in our school.”

In her confused state her blank mind suddenly came up with resolve to grab the bottle and start chugging. There were still more than three quarters left-she might really die trying to finish it. She really was putting in effort though, within half a minute she had managed to drop it down to just under half a bottle. Unfortunately, her speed dropped tremendously and she was about half of another quarter through when she pulled the bottle away from her mouth.

“I can’t… I reeaally can’t drink anymurr.”

“Really? You can’t even finish that to save your son? You’d let one bottle of alcohol get your son sent to prison?”

“I can’t… I die…”

“Then strip. It’s either you strip or you drink. Just drink, no one wants to see the disgusting mess you have under there.”

“I’m? I’m not disgushting!”

“Just keep drinking and stop lying.”

“I’m not! Look! I’m not!”

Why did she pull out her boobs? Had the alcohol made her go crazy?

“Jesus christ, put that trash away and just keep drinking.”

“Trash? Did you jusht shay this ish trash?”

“Of course, do you even wash yourself? I can smell the stink of your pussy from here. Get away from me.”

“I don’t shmell! Here! Shmell it, thersh no shmell.”

What the fuck was this? I didn’t want to smell someone's vagina. Get away!

“Let me see it then, prove to me it doesn’t smell.”

“You wanna- you wanna shee it? Ok then!”

Fuck! I finally figured it out! I didn’t want to lose my virginity like this! Even if there wasn’t someone I liked I didn’t want to fuck some random mom!