There was a massive change in pressure and noise, blinding light. Is that a truck driving through my living room window…

Of all the goddamn stupid and unavoidable ways to die, it was truck-kun. He obviously thought I didn’t get out and about enough. Who the fuck dies to a truck in their own living room?

Calm down, calm down. There is a silver lining. I’m obviously still coherent and thinking. Just not in the right place. Probably the wrong time too now that I think about it. I tried opening my eyes, but everything was too blurry to make out.

My inner freakout was thankfully staying inner. I had a few years of blurred memories of this world. Mainly living poor with no electricity, helping out on a farm despite being only 8 or so years old. Then a cultivator comes to our village, claiming any children under the age of 10 will be tested and given a chance to join the Raging Storm sect. I was deemed passable. Something to do with a unique soul root and average talent. Thus I was sold to a sect for a couple of silver, and my body’s parents were over the moon. I was given no information on how to return here. No way to contact my body’s parents.

I suppose I should be horrified, but I guess sending your child to become a literal heaven-defying immortal god for a few silver was far more preferable than leaving me to grow as a peasant farmer at the whims of these heaven-defying immortal gods.

Right then. Why did I suddenly take over this body then? Why am I here? All very important questions. All unexplained for the moment, I guess.

Why was my head thumping like a bell? That I could maybe answer. Agonizingly and slowly I opened my eyes again despite the pain.

Why was everything on fire? Trees, carriages, foliage, and even people?? A man literally just ran past me flaming like a bonfire and screaming his head off. Sound was slowly coming back to me. Memories too, and I had the sudden understanding that we were under attack on the way to the sect.

My head had just smacked into the tree stump behind me as I fell not long ago as I was running for my life.

Que outer freakout as I realized a massive panda with purple fire on his claws had spotted me and decided I would make a lovely child-sized chew toy. Despite the chaos behind the panda, it slowly sauntered over to me. Each step on all fours left smoldering prints that resembled cooling magma. It seemingly enjoyed the terror it caused me as I stumbled up and towards one of the flaming carriages. He was still following at his sauntering pace with a devilish maw now slowly opening with glee. Never had I seen such human-like expressions on beasts, but I was panicking and had no time for reflection.

I jumped into the carriage despite the burning fabric roof and desperately looked for a weapon. My memories told me some of the carriages had weapons and food stored for the journey, and now was not a time to question my panic-riddled mind. I found a sword and yelped with eagerness only to realize I literally could not lift its weight above my waist. “Shit, shit, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck.” I scrambled looking for anything else to use, only barely finding the handle of a dagger under some covers that had just started smoldering from the fire.

Warm, sickly breath on the nape of my neck greeted me. I slowly turned my head, seeing the massive panda look at me with those same gleeful eyes. His head barely fit into a carriage; it was so large. His breath stank of rotting flesh. I understood exactly what was about to happen.

His maw opened so wide I could literally fit inside. Well, when a literal magic fire panda decided to eat you, there was only one choice an 8-year-old with the mind of an adult should do. Jump forward. So I did.

I could tell the panda was confused by the look in his eye. I had just jumped into his jaw rather than away from it after all. However, modern fiction had taught me a lot. When you can’t kill something from outside. You do it from inside instead. With my knife in hand, I jumped past his fangs before he could shut them on my torso and dug my knife straight into the back of his tongue. From there I pulled myself deeper into his throat, pulled out my knife, and dug it in again further down his throat. Now safely away from his teeth, I just started stabbing and stabbing without pause. I must have done so hundreds of times as the panda bucked, screamed, and raged as my world slowly drowned in blood. I couldn’t see anything but blood and flesh. Yet I wouldn’t stop. Couldn’t stop if I wanted to survive.

“Just fucking die already! You stupid fucking bear!” It felt like hours but was likely less than 30 seconds. Finally the beast gave one last massive growl that transitioned into a whimper. It was dead. “Fucking hooray. WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?” I shouted. No one responded.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

I just lay there in the blood and slime inside the panda throat wondering how I went from my living room to this living hell in literally seconds. Holy shit, I apparently just died not 30 seconds ago, ended up in someone else’s body, and have just killed a magical purple fire-clawed panda bear. Oh, and I was 8 as well.

“Fuck my life.”

////////

Slowly the noises outside died down until only the raging fires could be heard.

“What a mess. What a waste,” someone said in a deep voice. “15 potential cultivators dead. All the carriage drivers and camp staff as well. The sect has enough issues with the war, but now even the recruits are being targeted." Said a second voice. One I recognized from memory as the cultivator who bought me. “You think the heavenly blade sect controlled these beasts to attack us?” “They must have; we have no resources worth the trouble for these beasts, and they are hardly starving enough to attack us so recklessly for no gain. They should have recognized they had no chance against us 2. It was only the overwhelming amount of beasts that managed to kill everyone.”

I suppose I should make myself known. I was hardly going to survive as an 8-year-old in the wild with magical beasts around me and all alone. “Help!” I screamed, for what else could I say?

Suddenly I found myself dragged out of the beast’s throat within a second of speaking. I swear I heard them talking quite a bit further away than that.

Still clutching the knife I had taken. I was dangled by the back of my shirt in front of the cultivator who bought me. I instantly called him Mister Slaver in my mind just so I could call him something to myself. He had bought me after all. He had sharp eyes and a well-manicured beard. Black hair and blue robes. Literally a spitting image of a righteous sect member.

He looked me up and down, then to the panda, back to me, then back to the panda. Lastly, he looked at his companion, who had a look of respect on his face. “You didn’t kill this bear, did you, brother?” The brother was in contrast wild and feral-looking. Long black hair waving down his back and muscles bulging through his red robes.

“Nope, pretty sure the kid killed it himself. From the inside out too. Not bad, kid. You got that killer instinct to defy the heavens.” I looked from the wild brother back to the cultivator who bought me while still dangling like anything. Then I looked back again and spoke the first thing that came to mind in this fucked-up situation. I had very quickly pieced together I was in Xianxia lands, and that required a certain, how do you say, dramatic flair if I wanted to impress these guys.

“The heavens can fuck themselves if they think sending a mere panda will kill me. I will die when the heavens have earned me. That day will never come.” Thank you, God of War, for some of that quote.

The wild brother smiled like a kid who had just found his lost stash of candy. Mister Slaver just looked me up and down again and finally broke his silence. “What’s your name, boy?” I dug through my new memories quickly and came up with an answer. ”Yin Lei” “Hmph, well done. I guarantee that my brother and I will watch your progress over the years with interest. Eat this pill. Get some rest. We leave at first light.” He promptly dropped me like a sack of potatoes and left me to find a place to sleep in the burnt-out camp filled with human corpses and dead beasts. “Charming,” I said.

Fuck my life.

////////

“You saw that right, brother,” said the wild-looking cultivator to his brother. “Of course I did. How could I not? He literally killed a crazed flame panda by stabbing its throat so much it bled to death.” The boy he dragged from the throat of the panda had come out shivering, barely coherent, and clutching his dagger like it was the only thing keeping him from being killed. Which, to be fair, had been true not minutes ago. His fake bravado in the face of the terrifying situation only seemed to endear him further to his energy-filled brother.

“I have never heard of a kid with no cultivation training killing a spirit beast with naught but a dagger. You hear the occasional exploit of mortal warriors who overcome some weaker spirit beasts with traps and such, but this was different. 1 kid with a head injury, nothing but a knife and the will to survive no matter what.” Said the wild cultivator.

Indeed, his will to live will be beneficial on his path. Thought the more proper of the brothers. “His unique soul root, it must have evolved during the stress and abundant qi of battle. I observed his spirit roots when we collected him, and they were only just showing signs of mutating into a soul root. I observed him again now. His roots are now fully mutated into a soul root. The number of roots is still only average, but now his soul will literally push him further than others if he can find the right resources to benefit.”

“Hmm, maybe we can help him get those resources. It is not every day you see such willpower. The founder’s teachings speak of how the soul and will can be intertwined. His talent may be average, but we can help him forge his will and soul into weapons.”

“What do we gain from doing so?” said the proper-looking cultivator.

“Oh, nothing for a while, brother. But you must think long term. Maybe one day he will be the one dragging us out of beast throats if we play our cards right. No one else will know how much potential he has other than ourselves. We have all the power here, and having him be in our debt will only be good for us in the future.”

“I suppose he won’t require most of his unique resources for a while yet. We have time to plan and observe his progress. Fine, brother, we will secretly give him enough pointers to help him along, but he must find his own path. Relying on us his entire youth will only weaken his will and soul.” ”Hehe, I knew you’d see eye to eye. Let us meditate and recover our reserves tonight. We should be able to make it back to the sect tomorrow with only 1 kid to bring along.”