Fang Lu was shocked. Help? Fu Yin needed help? What’s more, he would ask him?
He hesitated:
“You… what exactly would you need my help with?”
Fu Yin lifted his gaze, tears slowly streaked down his cheeks as he forced a painful smile on his face. Two inverted triangles lit up at that moment, disappearing soon thereafter.
Fu Yin brought his hands to his pupils: they were filled with terror as he spoke:
“I am falling, Fang Lu, falling into a darkness without any hope of returning if I have no one to light up my path. I… my memories are scattering, I am beginning to fail to see who I am… and only take notice of whom I was.”
Tears fell on the ground, staining it black. Each drop would sizzle like oil and then burn itself down, leaving behind a black mark on the floor.
“Lu… help me. All these that you see, the tea, the carved cups, the poetry… I have never done any of those before today! Take the bronze ball for example: I can assure you I would have never even dreamt of making anything like that! Everything else is the same: the memories holding within the actions needed to achieve something, simply surface and, before I notice it, I would already find myself in the middle of the process!”
Fang Lu widened his eyes in disbelief: memories surfacing? Fu Yin actually did not have any recollection of any of these arts and crafts, but he would be forced into doing them nonetheless?
However, this does not seem that much of a problem… at most, he would find himself with a slightly more stuffed room. Why would he be so worried?
The chubby youth started, his voice smooth and his gaze gentle as he got up and looked at the other in the eyes: within, the inverted triangles trembled as they shined eerily. Fang Lu gritted his teeth:
“Fu Yin, listen to me for a second-“
“NO! PLEASE HELP!” Fu Yin suddenly grabbed Fang Lu’s arms, his grip so tight Fang Lu flinched as his bones creaked. The white haired youth’s whole body was shaking, be it with fear or anger, unknown whether toward himself or to others, the youth spoke:
“These… memories!” He spat out. He looked up as he grabbed his tummy, almost as if he was on the verge of vomiting from the pain: “They are not mine! More importantly, they are not limited to crafting processes!”
“They rise! They arise from deep within my mind, like a thunderstorm, wiping away everything else! It is only once the tempest finally subsides, that those memories come back! But, by then, they would be warped! Lu… I don’t remember even the faces of those who took me in when I first joined our Sect!”
“At times, when I wake up, I fail to remember my own name! This… this… you have no idea just how harsh it is for me! From all I know, you could be my very brother, and yet I might not remember that, thinking of you as an enemy instead! These memory losses happen so frequently that I am slowly being locked out of reality, as I am beginning to distrust any and every other I come in contact with! What this means…” Fu Yin lifted his head, a sad smile on his face as more and more tears fell:
“Is that… I could actually kill you any moment now!”
Fang Lu’s eyes widened and he unconsciously slid back a bit with his chair, putting some distance between him and the youth. However, as soon as he noticed his current actions, he cursed and immediately went back to his former position. He lifted his gaze apologetically.
Seeing the other’s eyes full of pity, Fu Yin simply smiled bitterly:
“I… I know that I am dangerous. I know that you fear me, and, for goodness’ sake, you have the right to be afraid…”
Fang Lu gulped, saying nothing. This was much bigger than he had expected. Memory loss? How should he cope with that? And, what’s more, why would Fu Yin bring him in? After all, there were more people out there who were much more knowledgeable and powerful than him. The white haired boy could have just gone ahead and asked them instead.
However, suddenly a spark of insight flashed across his mind. He furrowed his brows as he pondered:
Could it be… because he is afraid of rejection? No, more likely, he is afraid the others would treat him as a threat. After all, he had just admitted himself that he could turn into a mindless killer any time soon, even though I deem it quite unlikely. At that time, would they sacrifice him for the greater good? He probably doesn’t want to take the risk.
Thinking up to there, Fang Lu finally lifted his gaze and spoke, his serious eyes reflecting his state of mind:
“I assume, you have a way out of this… one that requires you to both be able to survive in the case something went wrong as well as save other people at the same time. I guess that I, a third party who has strength that barely rivals yours, should be the perfect choice, right?”
Fu Yin stayed silent for a while. When he spoke, his voice was grave, as if he was about to speak words he hated himself before anybody else:
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“No. To be fair, I chose you because we are not friends, we are rivals, and, to be quite honest, I dislike you a lot. After all, this fear is going to be something I would have never asked anyone I hold dear. And…” He hesitated but then pushed through, gritting his teeth:
“I would very much rather have an enemy stab me in the back, than to see the one holding the knife was none other than those I loved. I dislike you, so I won’t have to fear feeling betrayed, were the time to come.”
The room went silent, only the sound of a drop of tea falling from the kettle’s beak could be heard.
Finally Fang Lu broke the silence:
“And? What might this plan of yours be?”
Seeing the other not saying anything or refuting his arguments, Fu Yin looked somewhat relieved. He sighed with feeling and then spoke:
“You. You are the person I hate and my enemy, so I can use you as the pivotal point of everything without having to fear any repercussions. As long as you act like you hate me, I hope it won’t be too difficult, from the reaction of those around me, even if I lose my memories momentarily, during that time, from you, I will be able to reconstruct my surroundings and recover my memories up to a certain level of accuracy at least until those memories come back.”
“One the opposite of the other. By seeing on which side people go over to, whether they follow you or me, I will understand the way they think. Everything else would be a simple puzzle that I will be able to solve trough logic. With that, I will know exactly what is my position in this world: I will know of those who despise me, I will know who is on my side, who is a friend and who is an enemy.”
“Needless to say, I did some experiments. It is indeed feasible. Despite losing most of my memories, certain actions or objects would still be ingrained so deep in my mind they would not disappear, no matter what. I want you to become one of those objects and, from then on, guide me.”
Silence.
Fang Lu raised one of his eyebrows in surprise:
“This… was not quite what I was expecting. Basically, you would turn me into a villain, is that what you are saying? Quite peculiar plan, except for a single miscalculation…” the chubby youth scratched his chin and then shook his head:
“How would you know I am only acting? Why should you not attack me seeing how you would not remember me”
Fu Yin smiled:
“As I said, while my mind is elsewhere, my body still remembers… we will always be close to each other. We will talk to each other, drink with each other, essentially become ‘fake’ friends until my body remembers… that you are not a threat.”
“…”
What the hell? This doesn’t make any sense! Why not just be real friends then? Why should we hate each other?
Fang Lu frowned and was about to ask something, when Fu Yin interrupted him:
“I already told you. I do not wish to become your friend. Simply because, otherwise, when the time comes, it would mean one more person I would grief over once he, you, died. I want somebody who will help me, that I will be able to kill anytime without suffering myself!”
Hearing that, Fang Lu was shocked. It almost sounded like a joke, a bad one at that, however the seriousness in the younger boy’s eyes was such that he hadn’t seen anything like it before. He pondered for a while before finally gritting his teeth and scratching his back:
“Damn, I really can’t seem to get along with you! I really don’t know about this. It would bring no benefit to me, especially since I would become a primary target in the case you lose yourself. Sorry man, but you should probably ask someone else. I’m sure there are quite a few people who hate you out there, so just go ahead and pick one!“
“NO!”
Fu Yin’s sudden shout startled the chubby youth to the point he almost fell from his chair.
“Even if I could go outside, which mind you, I can’t, at least not until eight or nine more months pass, those who hate me are those who are jealous of my power or are afraid that I might harm them in the future! Trash or Elite! Either so far below or too above! None of them would do, as they would not be able to stop my rampage or would kill me in the process! Unless no other choice arises, I will live! I HAVE to find out what these memories are!”
“What’s more…” Fu Yin muttered, sending his gaze away as he wiped away his tears:
“You, despite being an enemy are a comrade. You are the best person to fit the role! Please… if you aren’t doing this for me, do it for them! My brothers, my sisters, whom I owe so much and love even more!”
Fang Lu felt the boy’s gaze poking holes through his body as the young, white haired teen knelt on the ground before fully prostrating before the chubby youth. Fang Lu had no words: he was astonished. When would he have ever thought that Fu Yin, that proud brat, would actually beg him to do something?
He had to admit he had dreamt for such a situation to come ever since a while ago, however the current him wasn’t feeling the satisfaction or the pleasure he had expected. He felt more… as if he had been deceived. However, he also felt guilty, his chest hurt as he saw the shivering figure of the boy he had come to know as a demon with an ever present cocky grin on his face which created great contrast with the pair of lifeless eyes.
“PLEASE! I beg of you! I don’t want to hurt HER! What would I do? What if… I lose myself or my memories again and, when I regain my senses, I find her lifeless body in my arms!!!”
Fang Lu inhaled a breath of cold air: even he had a limit to how much he could possibly hold himself back in the affairs of the heart. Familiar love, a feeling he had long forgotten… he had finally found a father in Mu Gu, but had been once again forced to leave, without saying a word even! From what he knew, Mu Gu might even not have been informed that he was alive and well yet!
For this, he had held it against Fu Yin and his group, for disrupting his life in the Sect! However, he could now see, that everyone else, starting from Fu Yin himself were just as lonely as he was, just as enraged against themselves for their own powerlessness, just as enraged towards fate for such diabolical machinations!
Whoosh!
He knelt down, his robes fluttering as he hugged the young man. After all, he was a man in his late twenties. The difference between them was a full decade, how could his heart not grow warm when looking at a child weeping?
“I tell you what you will do. You will kill me first and think about anything else afterwards, because it would mean I was neglecting my duties!” Fang Lu patted the youth on the back and smiled amiably.
Fu Yin lifted his tear filled eyes and looked at Fang Lu with shock:
“You… you actually agreed? Is today my lucky day or am I imagining this? That Fang Lu actually has a kind side to him as well!”
“What made you think I had not!” Fang Lu coughed as his ears turned red. He then looked around the room and asked, turning his face away from the young man to hide his blush:
“Anyways, can I have my scroll back already? How else are you expecting me to protect others from you if I am killed first?”
Laughter filled the room.
"I still hate you, you know?"
"Well, the feeling is mutual, no surprise there."