When I stepped into the Guild I was met with a cacophony of sounds. People laughing, yelling, flirting... badly. I looked around taking it all in until Harry elbowed me and pointed me to what I could only assume was the reception desk based on the giant sign floating above it proudly displaying "Reception".

Well I guess I'd also be a bit arrogant if I could float.

I walked over to the desk and got in line. Thankfully it was short, there were only about 3 people ahead of me. The guy in front of me turned with a smile that was close to crossing the line from extremely happy into a creepy serial killer. I introduced myself as James due to my phobia of silence.

"Hey, James! I'm Darius nice to meet ya!"

I wish he’d stop grinning so fiercely.

"Is this your first time at the Guild?", Darius prompted.

"Ummmmm yeahhh?"

Darius’s grin became even wider.

"FANTASTIC! I love meeting new people!"

Darius took a very large audible breath.

"What's your favorite color? Where do you live? Do you have any hobbies? Wanna join a party? Do ya like ale? What kind of ale? Are you in a relationship? Want me to introduce someone? How's your day going?"

Is he ever going to stop?

Then I noticed my saving grace, "Hey um. You're up".

Darius look behind him at the receptionist who was currently sporting a very unamused look.

"Are you done?"

"Yeah sorry Melissa. You know how I get around new friends!", I silently protested against my unjust association with this very energetic fellow as the receptionist I now knew was called Melissa turned her glare in my direction as if it was my fault for Darius' outburst.

"Anyway I'll take the F-ranked mission to kill 5 of the wolves in Yarthon Woods", said Darius while handing over the same type of card I'd seen Harry use to open up the door earlier.

"Sure Darius, be careful!", Melissa winked at me as if her statement was a jest.

Darius feigned anger, "Hey I saw that".

"Nah I think you're hallucinating", countered Melissa aptly.

Darius snorted, "Your face is hallucinating"

I then watched as Darius swaggered out of the Guild while not looking back even once. I turned back to face Melissa.

"So uh.. I'm kinda new here so how exactly does this work?"

"Wow a newbie!", crowed Melissa, "we haven't had one of those in a while!".

She took out a book from under the counter that looked like it was falling apart at the binding and was covered in a light layer of dust.

What kind of torture has that poor book been through. Hopefully I look better than it does at the end of the registration process.

"Haven't done this in so long I forgot what the procedure was", Melissa elaborated.

I felt a slight twinge of worry bloom within me and I just stared awkwardly at her as she flipped through the book sporadically with seemingly no logical method of searching. Then she somehow found the section she needed.

"Ah! Here it is. Ok so I just need some background details and a small fee and then you'll be registered"

I held by breath at the mention of a ‘small fee’ and my eyes started darting around uncontrollably. Melissa seemed to take notice of this.

"Don't worry it's only 5 copper".

I felt relief sweep through me, "ok thanks. Can we begin the application thingy now?"

"Sure thing. Can I have your full name first please?"

"Sure, it's James Smith".

Melissa smiled, "Nice to meet you, James! Now we can get started".

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Not knowing what to say I resorted to one of my filler words, "cool!".

Melissa looked slightly amused at my response, then continued with her questions, "So James what's your current place of residence".

"I'm currently staying at the Big Keg inn", I answered, "Stella has been treating me well".

"Yeah she's great. What would you say your combat level is on a scale of 1-10?", Melissa asked me with a curious glint in her eyes, seemingly interested in my answer.

"Uh 0?"

"Huh well I don't know how you survived so far but I'll just put that as a 1 since it's 1-10 and not 0-10 although I get your point. Anddddd we're done"

Then for a second a swear I saw a predatory look in her eyes.

"So that'll be 5 copper now".

I begrudgingly reached into my pocket and took out 5 copper coins, enough for two and a half meals at the inn. I held out the coins in my hand across the counter and in a flash, they were gone. Where they went I had absolutely no idea but I had a feeling that I definitely wasn't getting them back, ever.

Melissa took out another object from under the counter. It looked like it was covered in runes based on what I'd seen before and I really wanted to inspect it but I didn't want to be rude so I put aside my urges. Looking at it some more it seemed to be like a very tiny printer. Melissa then started pressing runes all over the device I assume entering my information or something of the sort. After about 20 seconds of super fast button pressing the printer started to glow ever so slightly. A card materialized inside it and was pushed out probably due to a Movement Rune somewhere on the device.

I noticed that after this spectacle Melissa looked a little pale so I assumed the device took quite a bit of energy to operate, after all magically creating something couldn't take a tiny amount of energy. She quickly recovered however and handed the card over to me. I looked over the card. It had a crystal look to like and shimmered under the overhead lights of the Guild. I stared at it for a while in childlike amazement before Melissa interrupted my fugue.

"So James that's your Guild card. It shows important information like your name, rank, mission credits, and some other stuff that's not currently relevant".

I had a good feeling what rank meant: probably my standing in the guild, kind of like how there are levels in the military and I definitely knew what my name was but I blanked when Melissa said mission credits. After seeing the questioning look on my face Melissa elaborated.

"Mission credits or just credits are what you get for completing missions along with the money of course. Credits can be used to increase your rank in the Guild and for purchasing special items like Cores".

I tilted my head to the side.

"I'm not going to explain Cores right now because there's still a line and it will take a while".

I turned around to see a few amiable looking but seemingly slightly annoyed people. I gave a little wave and got a few smiles in return.

"Okay now just some last pieces of information and then I'll give you a nice mission to get started"

I saw another predatory glint flash across her eyes before it was replaced with a sultry smile.

"So wanna go out some time?"

"Um"

I stammered awkwardly, extremely confused how my luck with girls seemingly did a 180. I heard some light chuckles in the line behind me. She then quickly reached across the counter and poked me in the finger with a needle that she got from who knows where.

Usually, I would've said ow but the pure weirdness of the situation seemed to have frozen my vocal cords. I watched Melissa come out from behind the counter and press my new Guild card up against my now slightly bleeding finger. The card seemed to tremble slightly when it touched my blood.

"Sorry about that", Melissa said with a genuine look of sympathy on her face, "I've found in the past that for the newbies it helps if they're distracted when I bind them with their Card. Now the card belongs to you".

"Ah ok then?", I was still recovering from the complete twist in the conversation.

"Anyway just two more things before I let you go", Melissa informed me, her apologetic face turning back into her normal smile.

"So ranks, you're currently at G rank which is the lowest rank. The ranks go G - Newbie, F - Beginner, E - Average, D - Above Average, C - Superhuman, B - Super Super Human, A - Hero, S - Legend. It'll take you 100 credits to rank up to F then 1000 to rank up to E, and then 10000 to rank up to D. After D-rank you need to complete different requirements to rank up. I don't know what these are though because they're determined and managed by the Council of Guildmasters.”

I digested the information slowly trying to make sure I didn’t forget it.

"So do you want to go on your first mission? I'll pick an easy one for you since it's your first".

"Yeah I'd love that!", a wide grin appeared on my face.

Melissa laughed at my pure enthusiasm, it sounded beautiful.

"Great! Here's one I give to all the newbies. Collect 50 Chrysanthum Herbs on the outskirts of Yarthon Woods. They look like ferns but they're yellow and purple", she said stating the mission seemingly from memory, "some alchemist can't get enough of them for some reason".

"That doesn't sound too hard…"

Is this gonna be one of the things where everyone tells you it's gonna be easy but it turns out to be the hardest thing you've ever done?

"It isn't. That's why it's for newbies", Melissa reminded me and I mentally slapped myself. "To get there just exit through the gate and walk straight for a bit and take the first right. Then walk a little bit more and you're there! Make sure you don't go too far into the forest though or you might meet some beasties."

"Of course!". I wondered who would be stupid enough to go far into an unknown forest filled with wild beasts.

"Just in case though take this", Melissa handed me a small dagger. It looked slightly rusty but I ignored it. "We make sure all newbies have at least some form of weapon."

"Do I have to pay for it?", I asked.

"Nope. It's included in the Guild registration fee", she now had a sour look on her face, probably wanting to take more of my money.

"One more thing".

Melissa handed me a bag.

"You'll need something to carry the Chrysanthum Herbs!".

Feeling stupid for not thinking of that, I thanked Melissa and then headed out the door eager to complete my first quest.