"This is the last time you will ever hurt anyone! We're putting you away!" This was coming from a paladin, presumably the leader of this team of "heroes" that have come to stop me.
I rolled my eyes. "I've heard much better paladin. Do you have any final words? I think I'm supposed to ask that.." I looked down at my quest log- yes villains have quest logs too, you know. Heroes aren't special.
"Attack!" The paladin roared as he began to run towards me. He hefted his great sword and raised it. As he brought it down, his team's rogue tried to stab me, but for some reason not in the back. The heavy great sword crashed onto the rogues head, the paladin twisting it as to hit her with the flat of the sword.
The rogue crumpled to the ground, I thought I could hear her snoring. The paladin was briefly frozen from the shock of hitting his teammate, so I calmly grabbed the sword from his hands and stabbed him in the stomach. He fell on his knees crying. I almost felt bad, but I am the villain after all. This is my job.
"I swear you new heroes are all the same." I said, rolling my eyes. Every group fought exactly like this, which made sense considering they were fresh out of the Hero's Academy. They were brand new to this kind of thing, you know saving damsels and killing bad guys. I was their first 'boss fight', although surely I would be promoted soon. I felt like I was killing babies- actually that might be my promotion. You get my point.
Like every good healer does, this one raised his staff and attempted to heal the paladin. But before the green, healing energy could get to him and take effect, I thrust his sword at an angle and cut his head off. Blood spurted out of him, and I looked down at my script check my line.
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Kill hero in a brutal fashion: Complete..
Scare Enemy Team Shitless: Complete..
Say line "You cannot defeat me!" and finish the team off: Incomplete..
"You cannot defeat me." I said halfheartedly. These cookie cutter villain lines sucked, but I can't improvise until later.
The healer, with a look of panic on his face, dropped his staff.
"Wow you suck. Let me give you a tip, your paladin is dead but not your rogue right? She's just asleep right now. So wake him up, assuming you have a spell for that?"
The healer gulped, nodded, and slowly picked his staff up. "Uhm, I forgot the spell." He said, looking down ashamedly.
"That's okay," I said taking a step towards him, "let me see it. I'll show you how to do a basic energy spell. You should have learned this at the Hero's Academy." He handed me his staff. What a numbskull! I snapped his staff in half like a twig, his eyes widened in fear.
"Wow you're a dumbass!" I said with a laugh. I stabbed him with the splintered staff, and walked to the sleeping rogue. "Time to die," I muttered, raising a hand over her. My spell visibly sucked her life force out of her, and it entered mine.
Now to turn this quest in. Maybe I'll get that promotion.