Chapter 1

[A side character's life]

“I’m Ataashi Hitoka, an average 1run-of-the-mill character you can find anywhere. No, really. Average looks, height and everything. One thing that’s not really that average to me in my opinion is my absurdly weird reading of the room power or something like that.”

“Well, I also have this weird trait of thinking I’m in some kind of novel or manga and just narrate what I’m thinking and stuff like that in my mind. Anyways, it’s the first day of school and I am very excited on this fresh new sta- r- t.”

As I said those words a long beautiful silky hair brushed past me. A goddess, that’s the first thing that came up to my mind. “This school year is going to be great” is what I said. Well, I was dead wrong but that’s going to be for later.

Class started, we introduced ourselves, I made some friends and we hungout. Right now, I’m friends with quite a bit of people. 2 guys and believe it or not, the school 2Madonna a.k.a. that girl I saw at the entrance on the first day of school. Those two guys are my good friends, same mindset and all that. A tall muscular athletic silent yet sunny guy named Mash as well as Kazuto who literally has all the attributes to be a main character. An empathetic, kind from the heart, innocent look and all that. I myself don’t really believe someone like that can actually exist. The school Madonna which is Kushi came to our friend group by some unknown coincidence in which we always pass by each other in school. She is a literal goddess. One look at her smile just makes you lose yourself like a baboon falling from a tree and randomly slapping people with a stick… Weeks later, we we’re about to go home and hangout but then as soon as I opened my shoe locker, it was there. A “love letter”. My heart was beating 1000mph, it felt like I was going to explode right there and then. It was my very first love letter so I was very excited, too excited even and nervous at the same time. “Go ahead” is what I said as I try to hide my excitement. I opened the love letter and here is what it states.

“To Hitoka,

      Meet me at the back of the storage room.”

“Is this finally it? I can finally say goodbye to my single life!” I could not wait any longer and hurriedly ran to the destined meeting place thinking it might be Kushi because she wasn’t with us going home, my mind was running wild with ecstasy but…

It wasn’t, there I saw a girl about as tall as me with short black hair and glasses which is very foggy so I couldn’t even see her eyes.

Silence. I waited and stared at her for about a minute in silence. My heart was beating loud and fast. It was so loud she might've heard it and then...

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“I- I like you, p- please go out w- with me.”

My heart skipped a bit but… I had to refuse it. At that time, I liked Kushi to the point of thinking about her anytime I get. I was even thinking about her while going to the meeting place. Due to my personal point on what loving is, I can’t 3half-ass her love for me so I politely and respectfully rejected her confession. It was my one shot in love and yet I blew it, I knew it hurt her so much, much more than what I felt. I left as I heard her faint sobbing. It stung, it really did but that’s all I could do.

Months have passed since that particular event, it was our last day as a first year. Class just ended and we were going to hangout in a nearby karaoke place to call it a day except Kushi and Kazuto we’re nowhere to be seen. Mash went ahead and reserved us a place while I went and looked for them. The sun was setting as it flushed a familiar orangey feel, It was nostalgic. The hallways were quiet unlike its mid-day counterpart. My footsteps we’re loud as it echoed through the empty hallways. There I stopped, infront of my first year classroom. The door felt big... it was scary. I was going to open the door until I heard faint voices.

“K- Kazuto, I like you.”

It was really faint, the voices I mean yet… It was so loud.

I don’t need to go and peek at the door to see the girl that just confessed to my best friend. It was painfully obvious and I heard it clearly this time. I can’t fake what I just heard and tell myself that maybe, just maybe. It wasn’t who I was thinking of but it was too painfully obvious. I wanted to cry but I just blankly stared at that classroom door for a few minutes. The time felt so slow, excruciatingly slow. A few minutes felt like an hour. While processing what just happened, a sudden memory flushed in my mind. A girl crying as she was rejected. I became broken. “Karma is a real bitch…” and with those words, I left. I waited at the front gate as I see Kazuto and Kushi with their hands held and all.

*Bang*

My heart was shot from point blank range. I wanted to disappear, I wanted to go gouge my heart out, pluck out my eyes, cry in blood, my body felt so heavy and crushed, my skin as well as heart was screeching, it was so excruciating, I just- I wanted to just… die.

But I silently waited there, I smiled, I teased them and told Kazuto that he’s finally graduated singlehood and all that. Yet my thoughts we’re completely different, dangerous even. I had to go before it blew up to something more, something worse. I excused myself for a bit to grab that little bit of air I needed. I went to a nearby bathroom and washed my face as I look in the mirror and see a disgustingly disturbing face of happiness. “What a happy smile.”

I went back to Kazuto and Kushi smiling and laughing. “They suit each other” is the only thing I could think of in that situation. It felt like I was in the middle of the abyss and the two of them is that one tiny light shimmering in the distance. “Let’s go you two lovebirds, Mash is probably dead waiting for us already.” The two blushed as I said the word “lovebirds”. They were just bright, the atmosphere was just too bright for me. I smiled and said “Well aren’t you both perfect for each other, How cute.”

With that, we went to the karaoke booth where Mash was waiting, him being shocked at the sudden development and then singing our hearts out. The day finally ended and we all went our separate ways with Kazuto and Kushi going home together.

I got home, took a long nice bath, went to my room and sat there. Emptiness. Its the best description I could ever think of for everything that just happened. Just plain... Emptiness. I wasn’t angry, nor jealous nor envious of what just happened. All I could think of is just nothing. I couldn't even cry my heart out or anything. I wanted to cry but there's just nothing except the sound of my heart tearing itself apart. That’s it! I am really just a side character. Always has been and always will be.