The restaurant was a pub called the Slippery Piglet. One of the town elders named Grey Swallow pointed out that “it’s pretty good for a non-valley establishment.”

As we walked into the pub, my insect army cornered a spider. This spider had taken three of my top ants in a vicious battle to the death. We had been forced to fight the invader when it began moving toward the fledgling ant colony, and by forced, I meant that it was more fun to watch the ants fight it than to drop a rock on its head.

This spider, who I’d nicknamed Manny, was a jumper. He’d been cornered twice now, but both times had hopped out of the enclosure of my one-hundred ants, little spiders, and two small centipedes. Both times he’d taken one or more of my critters with him, clinging by their jaws as he leapt through the air. Both times, isolated without the support of their comrades, my bugs had died.

This time I used the control skill on several more spiders, releasing several of my smaller and weaker ants. I’d estimated Manny’s jumping range to be a bit over eighteen inches. This was far more than I would have expected from the nickel-sized fuzzy black and green little fella. Predictability however was a weakness. A weakness I could exploit.

I spent the next hour directing my spiders to prepare the trap. By the end of the preparation period we had dozens of webs spread out in a large circle around Manny the Jumping Spider. I sent the ants into motion, approaching the spider opposite the densest collection of webs. Manny waved his front legs at the phalanx of black ants nearing him. As the ants moved in on him, I carefully watched his legs, moving my squadron of bugs left or right to adjust the direction in which he would attempt escape.

When the angle was just right, I sent the ants in at a dash. Manny’s reaction was within the margin of error for my predictions, and his jump landed him directly in one of the webs which had been spread out horizontally to the ground and anchored to several small rocks I’d placed. The spider struggled to escape the trap, and managed to get a pair of legs free to hold off the spiders I'd prepared in ambush. One spider was thrown off by the larger creature’s thrashing, and another was pulled into the maw of the beast and bitten, dying where it was unceremoniously dropped in the dirt. Unfortunately for Manny however, there were fifteen others to replace them. Manny had no chance.

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Honestly, I'm kind of rooting for Manny right now. I know, right? He’s such a cute little monster. At that moment, Manny finally succumbed to the wave of bugs. Ah, too bad. I guess no one can really be expected to beat one-hundred enemies while stuck in a web. I started to respond when suddenly a system announcement popped up.

[UNCOMMON ABILITY LEARNED – SUMMON LEAST CREATURE: ARACHNID – LEVEL 1]

Aw yisss! We both yelled while fist pumping in the air, me metaphorically, and my other self literally, loudly, and, to the party of oldsters in the bar, confusingly.

“Sorry, uhhh, I was biting my cheek and got a super elusive bit that’s been bugging me for days.” “Oh yeah” said a little man named, hilariously, Elf Wood. “I once bit my cheek pretty bad by accident. Forgot I took an extreme strength potion and bit a hole clean through. Came in handy though, got my mouth sealed shut by a prankomancer – what happens when a fairy and lich have a soul baby – can't breed normal, what with the lich’s mummification drying and shrivlin’ up his-” At this point, Sleeping Willow shot Elf Wood a pointed look.

“Anyway, the soul baby sealed my mouth up good.” The mayor interjected “best week of my life.” A round of nods followed around the table while Elf Wood just continued on unperturbed. “Yup, but since I had this big ole’ hold in my cheek, I didn’t have a single problem eating. Just tilted my head to the side and poured the mashed potatoes straight in.” Eternal Wind, the oldest of the group chipped in “he once sucked a hardboiled egg right in. Haunts me to this day.”

Elf Wood had a look of fond remembrance on his face as Eternal Wind continued. “Looked me direct in the eye with a full-sized egg sticking off the side of his face like a jiggly white pimple, then ‘SHUNK!’ the thing was sucked right into his face like a gofer into a hole. Sometimes I close my eyes and I see it deforming and elongating. That cheek just rippling like a stone in a pond. Hearing Elf Wood’s voice echoing out of the hole ‘lordy, what a luscious egg.’”

Everyone at the table looked at me, expectant, excited to see how I’d react. I quietly laid down my spoon, steepled my hands, and closed my eyes. After a moment, the mayor asked “feelin’ a bit queasy are ya’ son?” I popped my eyes open and looked at him steadily. “No sir, I needed to go to my happy place for a moment.” “Oh, a happy place, that sounds very nice” Sleeping Willow replied. “Is that very peaceful?” I responded “well, it is, but-” I paused. “What is it honey?” “Normally I imagine a perfectly still pond with a stone dropping into it, and now every time I drop in the stone, it says ‘lordy, what a luscious egg!’”