We ultimately decided on the northeast spoke of the wheel, since it was home to a secret boss with a rare drop. The Archaeopteryx is a favorite among newbie adventurers, partly because it drops a green name that’s in-demand, and mostly because it's a secret everyone knows about, so it's a way for beginners to pat themselves on the back when they learn about it without really having to work for that satisfaction. The mage thought he was being clever when he mentioned it, that he’d impress me - it lessened my opinion of him greatly. Béla was quite taken with the idea, though, and insisted on taking that route, as much as I tried to dissuade him by mentioning how that item didn’t go with his, or for that matter, any of our team member’s builds, and if he was interested in getting a drop with a high selling price, there were certainly better options with fewer headaches involved than with the Archaeopteryx. But there was no telling him. Once he’s settled on something he’s damn well settled on it, and I figured that I ventured more than enough in my capacity as a guide by speaking up, that further protests would, despite my showing in the hallway, be less than appreciated.

The problem with the Archaeopteryx is, it spawns behind a labyrinthine series of hallways, which though I could cheat, also hosted a whole mess of Flytraps that patrol them endlessly. I would see if my old strategy of hopping on top of the walls of the labyrinth to bypass the maze still worked. There was a collapsed pillar in a corner that I used. Once you get on top of that it's a simple matter to haul yourself up onto the walls, though Vigdis’ previous trepidation didn’t leave me optimistic. We’d have to count on it though: the Flytraps have trouble aggroing you when you walk the walls, if you keep silent, so you can pick them off at your leisure. Otherwise, if one catches wind of you and starts moving, the ones around them does too, so pretty soon you've chained the whole room.

One by one we hopped up. I went first, with the mage behind me, Béla and Vigdis bringing up the rear.

I looked out at the hall ahead. The walls that made up the maze were no more worn down than when I’d last been here many years ago. In a way it felt good to have a trick up my sleeve that no one had thought of, but in another, I was a little concerned for the new generation, that they’d hadn’t considered something as simple as walking on top of the labyrinth. Just like before the place was crawling with Flytraps. They’re nasty if you get up close - they won’t waste a second swallowing you whole - but even worse from afar. If they feel you’re out of range of their jaws they’ll rear up, make a terrible gurgling sound, then vomit a heap of clear stomach acid right at you. No armor will shield you from that, it’ll eat through anything. I communicated this to the rest of my party, though it didn’t do a thing to dissuade them in the end, no thanks to Béla, who I figure the mage and Vigdis must see as the leader, seeing as how he could talk them down from their warranted fear of a maze filled with acid-spitting plant monsters.

No worries, I thought. I’ll sneak up on them, hit them with an arrow to the back, take them out before they can spit a single drop at us. It’ll be slow going, sure, but that’s better than one us being dissolved where they stand. I bet I won’t be paid a cent if they don’t all come back in one piece, after all. I reach into my quiver to take out the first one I see, aim, and fire.

It goes down, making a kind of soft squeaking sound, and I gesture for the rest of the party to follow me as I tiptoe my way towards the end of the hall. It’s one thing to try and move quietly, another to make three other people do so. Every moment I was only too aware of the sound of robes shuffling, waterskins gurgling, and the sword at the drow’s side slapping against his leg.

On top of that, we were expected to maneuver ourselves across a stone precipice so narrow it didn’t allow for both feet to be placed side by side, so that one always had to be placed ahead of the other. In the event we needed to turn on a dime, I wasn’t sure we could do it.

Another arrow flew, struck true. With Flytraps you aim for the stomach, where they store their acid. The skin leading up and out of their mouth is protected by a thick kind of fiber that can withstand it, but their outer skin isn’t resistant at all; a well-placed arrow opening the stomach exposes the soft outer body to the ravages of the acid, meaning that if the arrow doesn’t finish the job, their own juices will.

I hit another, piercing its belly, and it struggled toward us. The acid pouring out of it made a fizzing sound as it ate away at the Flytrap. We saw something. A glittering object fell out of the dead monster. I addressed the rest of the party:

“Don’t go for it. It’s not worth it”, I whispered

“You don’t even know what it is”, said the mage.

“There’s nothing a Flytrap could drop that’s worth going for”.

“I have to check”.

“No, you don’t”.

“It’s something good, I know it. Look how it shines!”

“If you go down there, there’s no hauling you up again. It’s too far a drop.”

“I’ll be fine. Don’t go gray over it”

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

“Don’t go down there”, said Béla, joining in. “This party sticks together”

“Oh, don’t give me that”, said the mage. “I’ll be in and out, just watch”.

Without any further deliberation he leapt down to the body and went for the object. He made his way over past the stone roots and foliage towards the glow. Clutching it through a kerchief, he lifted it up for observation, one eye squinting.

“Ah, it's an imitation”, he said. “I won’t get a cent for this”.

I rolled my eyes. Béla swore noiselessly.

“Ok, it’s a long way up, but I figure I can blink halfway, and you can lift me after that. So in three I’ll blink, you’ll have to be ready to catch me then. So on three, ok, one, two, three..”

While he was saying this the Flytrap started to rise behind him. I hadn’t killed it! Seeing this I thought I’d draw his attention to it quietly yet urgently, through a hand gesture or something, then,

“Watch out!”, screamed Vigdis. The mage looked back, but too late: the Flytrap went for his arm, and took a decent chunk out of it. At this the mage screamed too. I brought down the Flytrap with a second arrow. I leapt down and whipped out my first aid kit to treat his wound. It hadn’t quite bitten to the bone, but the saliva of the Flytrap has an anti-coagulating quality that makes its prey bleed profusely no matter the damage, so I had to be quick about it. I disinfected the wound with an herbal remedy, cleaned it a little, then applied the tourniquet. I could stitch the wound together later, but for now I had to deal with the Flytraps that were surely closing in on our position. I handed the mage an Agaric he popped it in his mouth, wincing at the taste, apparently unused to it like rookie adventurers often are. In time the revulsion passes, and some, like me, start to like it even.

We were in a relatively large chamber in the labyrinth, with an entrance at either side, and a dirt floor covered in snaking roots.

Two Flytraps emerged, one from each entrance. I leapt towards one and halved it, leaping back when the acid came bursting out of its stomach. The one at the other end reared up and fired a gob of the stuff - I froze it midair with an Icebolt, which immediately winded me, made the room spin. I try not to use ice, as this is a common symptom with spells that use a large amount of mana in a short timespan. Most costly spells use mana at a more gradual rate, but with ice it’s instantaneous and by virtue of that makes you nauseous, so even though it's powerful, it’s not a favorite of mine.

The frozen acid fell to the ground and shatters. I flipped around and with a heavy, overhead swipe pinned the head of the Flytrap to the ground like my sword was an enormous needle. I retracted it and saw another behind it. I kept myself at this distance, the Flytrap’s blind spot, where they’re too far to bite, and too close to spit acid, meaning they freeze for a second. I used that instant to switch to my bow, shoot it through the head, and turn to the other entrance, from which three Flytraps crept into the chamber. The mage unleashed a torrent of fire mage, burning the three to a crisp. Fire magic is really a lovely thing, once it’s done charging. More were on their way, though.

Béla and Vigdis leapt down to join us. Béla elected to guard one entrance while I took the other, with Vigdis and the mage readying spells at the center.

Two converged on me, fighting for space in the labyrinth’s corridor, and I shot them down. Béla approached one and I warned him not to get too close. He sliced off a tendril that a Flytrap launched at him, his movements just as quick as the monster’s. It writhed in apparent pain, and the mage shot it down with a needle of flame. Béla took a dart from his pocket, lifted his arm, and flung it at another. It goes spinning into the Flytrap’s head. He saw the acid burst forth, and he understood my warning.

Divine Fortitude and Grace whirled around me. I felt light as air. I stepped into the corridor before me and am face to face with four of the bastards, three in one corner, one leaping at me. I duck, brought up my bow and launch two arrows at it, superhumanly strong now. They sliced right through it and go barreling into the wall behind the felled monster. I had to grin, drawing my sword, approaching the other three while they ready acid attacks. This is what I do best.

I raised my sword, ran at a breakneck pace towards one, sliced the feelers from under it, making it crash down and vomit on itself. I cut open the side of another, and acid rushed onto the adjacent Flytrap, killing it. It grabbed me with a tendril and tried to pull me into its mouth. With the Fortitude in place I kicked the plant into the wall so it dropped me, allowing me to get my sword and finish the job.

I rushed back in to see how the party is doing. Four were in the chamber, Béla weaved his way around their attacks, Vigdis beat one on the head with her staff. The mage held one in his hands, burning it to death with his grasp. I relieved Vigdis of her assailant with a well-placed arrow, shot in a part of the plant that would bring it down, but not cause it to spout acid. I run over and kick it into the sandy soil. Vigdis thanked me and readied a Smite. Béla sliced one open and leapt back, though when he lunges at the other he’s grabbed midair, and lost his momentum entirely as he’s held up by his boot. I shot off the tentacle holding him and he falls. The mage launches a Fireball into it and it squeaks horribly as it burns into dust. Vigdis smote a Flytrap that’s just wandered into the room, which knocked it into the wall but didn't kill. I drop my bow and get out my sword again to deal with the one I downed. Béla dusts himself off, finds his sword, and puts the one by the entrance out of its misery.

We all took a second after that to gather our wits. Aside from a few scrapes, we’d managed ourselves remarkably well, I’d say. Piles of vegetable matter, acid, tendrils and teeth, lay strewn around us. The chamber was completely quiet save for the sounds of our labored breathing. Béla looked at me with a kind of silly expression, one that I hadn’t expected him to be capable of, and said, “Not bad, old man. Now, please tell me you remember the way out of here.” I checked my pocket for my walkthrough, since I always just cheated my way through this part, and never learned the labyrinth properly.

My pocket was empty.