The lone figure made its way down the moonlit hall.... Not a bad way to start a chapter… The hall looked like one of those paintings high borns are commissioning all the time, about fallen angels and Sofia ascending. The bold contrast of light and dark, with a single, silvery light source against the endless gloom of the Risen Cathedral.

Back before the Three Days’ Night this used to be just a lake, that’s just what I read anyhow. (Come on, I’m not that old). Then, when darkness fell, this enormous cathedral rises from the pond scum all of a sudden, and now it's an in-demand instance due to its reasonable loot-to-difficulty ratio. Most of it is just green names, but if you know where to look you can find some real primo loot stashed away in here. The best spot, without a doubt, is the pyx at the cathedral’s altar; all that’s guarding it is an Undead Ravager, which is easy enough to get through. Avoid its spiked chain attack by spamming a holy spell from the pulpit above it, even first level Judgement will do the trick. Make it through that and there’s at least a 30% chance of a blue name pendant appearing with your name on it. Everyone knows about the pendant in the pyx, but since adventurer parties still insist on doing things the old fashioned way they think it’s not worth the trouble involved taking down a Ravager. So generally I get them all to myself. If only those high borns at the market knew just how easy it was - you’d ought to see how their eyes balloon at the mere sight of a blue-name necklace, even if its bonus to light and dark spells is only good for niche shadow priest builds. They think they’ve fleeced me when they manage to “talk me down” to a gold piece. That’s a net income of about thirty silver each time, do that each day and that’s a handsome chunk of change right there. Though things don’t always turn out so neat, they never do in adventuring. Today, for example...

I’m sneaking through the halls, and all I can hear is my breathing, it’s that quiet. I know that when I round this corner there’s going to be a Greater Catoblepas walking up and down that carpeted corridor, just the same as always. I’m in too deep: out of bomb arrows and closer to the dungeon’s exit than I am to its entrance, and I’ve well taken my time getting to this point, so that Banshee in the vestibule must have respawned by now. There was no turning back. If only those last two Catoblepas’ didn’t have to spawn right next to each other! Taking down one is manageable, but two? I had to make my way through with an explosive, unfortunately. Money’s been tight lately, so I could only buy a couple. Those cheats at the explosives’ guild know well what they’re worth, goddamnit. But that’s alright, I’ve been in worse pinches than this. I still had a full stock of arrows and a couple Talarias. If I can just focus, and sneak attack with a wind arrow, the Catoblepas around the corner before it can use its breath attack, that’s 2x damage added onto a 1.75x elemental advantage, and… I was never much for numbers… But that should be enough for an OHKO I figure. Then there’s just the Boss to deal with, what fun.

So while I’m steeling myself, thinking this all over, I hear a moan. I turn around, and what do I see? A first level adventurer! I could hardly believe it. What was he doing here, halfway through a twelfth-level dungeon? Usually they’ve got some higher level in tow to do the heavy lifting for them, but this guy was totally alone. I walk over to him to see what I can do. I always pack a few tourniquets in my bag, and I’ve made sure to put points into the medic profession just as much as any good adventurer should, so I figure I can make his last moments more comfortable at the very least. I can’t exactly pull off sneak attacks with him wailing like the Demon King’s returned.

I look him over once or twice, checking for cuts and fractures, you know. But what I find is alarming - he’s hardly touched at all! His leg’s broken, and that’s it. For a first level in the Risen Cathedral he deserved much worse. And by the Benediction, he doesn’t have to go screaming his head off, alerting every ghost, beast, and zombie in the damn dungeon to his location. So I’m placating him, trying to get him back on his feet, and out of the instance. I’d have to forget about the pyx, and try to clear the rest of this dungeon the best I could with this milksop limping and shouting till he’s red in the face. And of course I’ve already forgotten, and how could I forget - that Catoblepas has made its way around the corner already, and is preparing its infamous breath attack. Now, if you don’t know what that means exactly, let me regale you with this helpful entry from the Monster Encyclopedia (paraphrased, of course, I don’t have the thing right in front of me):

The breath of the Catoblepas is high in particulate matter and colored a characteristic yellow-white. Because of this it is highly visible for a gaseous substance, and this visibility is both hindrance and boon. It’s helpful insofar as it’s easy to detect, but the obfuscating nature of the gas makes monsters difficult to attack. Generally, all contact is to be avoided with this substance. It is advisable to dispatch the Catoblepas before it’s noticed you, preferably with a rogue class’ sneak attack skill and a long range projectile possessing elemental advantage.

The effects of this breath attack vary widely from person to person, depending on size of dosage, mindset of the afflicted, and location. The chemical makeup is particularly similar to that of Cactus Extract, the experimental usage of which evinces similar symptoms in subjects. A wide array of effects have been reported, everything from paranoia, lethargy, increase in heart rate, to even on occasion hallucinations.

One subject has reported seeing a moving set of stained glass windows in the peripheries of their vision - one depicting the Three Day’s Night, another of Sofia riding a winged serpent, and most troubling of all, a variegated portrayal of the Demon King’s face. When asked to describe it the subject vehemently refused. Each shard of glass was tremulous, exhibiting the same patterns of movement as plants in a stiff breeze. The subject referred continuously to these images as being "alive”.

The high particulate content in the breath attack is made up from an abrasive, thread-like substance which can be harmful to the lungs if breathed in. It is also crawling with bacteria, and it’s a good way to catch a nasty case of strep throat.... And yada yada yada, you get the point. It’s some nasty shit, and I wasn’t intent on letting the Catoblepas get the drop on us.

But it was too late: just as I was drawing my bow it opened up its mouth and let loose a long, saffron cloud. I can’t well hold my mouth closed while I’m pointing and shooting, but I do my best to not breathe it in. I can’t do much for my friend laying on the ground, though. He’s about to break down some doors of perception that’s for sure. I draw and release as my eyes start to water and I’m lucky - I get him right through the armor plate, the elemental wind swirling and eddying around the arrow. I can see the monster wince, and fall back, but that doesn't bring him down. I shouldn't be surprised, I lost the sneak attack advantage and Catoblepas’ are an HP stat on legs, basically. So I’m readying another one before the stupid thing thinks to charge (there’s little to do when one charges other than to get out of the way. The narrow hall wouldn’t allow that, so that would leave me with just one other option: praying to Sofia to save this poor sinner’s heart), when shit starts to get freaky. I can’t say I felt very lethargic, or saw any stained glass windows, but the paranoia, man, it got me.

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I started to realize, in agonizing detail, the many dangers in the Risen Cathedral that I had become desensitized to. Even the zombies at the entrance which are such a breeze to take down, I started having visions of one biting into me, its crooked canines tearing through the ligaments in my arm in vivid detail. The more difficult encounters, like the banshee? They seemed like imminent death, no matter how many times I’d dealt with them in the past. I felt hot, so hot in that instant that I wanted to take all my armor off right then and there. I felt like I was going to die.

Worst of all, I felt intently that I was being followed. By what, exactly? A specter. That’s all I can call it. A dark, robed form that moved through the hall so slowly, and yet so inexorably. I knew it wouldn’t stop for the world until it had reached me. I wasn’t so sure of what it would do then.

Through all the heat and monomania I manage to string another arrow: this one goes whizzing right by it and into one of the funhouse mirrors hung up on the wall of the hallway. Damnit. The Catoblepas was going to charge any moment now. I'm impatient and I look into my bag: two Talarias. I really shouldn’t have used one then, you can’t even buy them in stores, but I wanted to put an end to it. I strap them on my feet and take off.

I won’t take up too much of your time describing them, I’ve talked enough already I think. Basically, they’re a single use consumable that you put on your feet. Move forward just a bit with them on, and you’ll go flying in your chosen direction. They’re technically only a green name drop but they’re so invaluable for covering the distance between you and a monster, and for taking advantage of exploits, that they can basically end an encounter all by themselves, and consequently sell for outrageous sums at the auction house. They’re almost as good as bomb arrows, you could say.

I strap them on and take off in a gust of air, my sword drawn and flashing in the moonlight. The momentum was a bit out of whack, considering the situation inside my head; I went careening into the leg of the beast, my longsword plunging through the soft, fleshy part of one of its stubby little legs. Not quite what I was going for, but ok. I retract the sword and pick myself up. The poor thing is limping, trying to get at me. It makes to charge before stumbling over itself. It would have been nice to kill it, though I suppose it can’t get to me this way. Of course, its cries will probably alert all its friends. Just my luck: the level one was quieting down, too. Whatever it was he was seeing, I didn’t envy him for it, even though I had troubles of my own. The robed figure was now completely visible, and approaching gradually from the way I came. It was time to move on.

-

While the Risen Cathedral is eminently popular in adventuring circles, people tend to avoid its head honcho, the Grim Reaper. It’s not that the loot isn’t good, it is, it’s rather that the dominant strategies used in taking him down aren’t well suited to popular team comps. He’s basically completely resistant to physical damage, being incorporeal and all, so if you’ve got a couple warriors in tow that’s a battle they’ll have to sit out. Its main weakness also happens to be holy magic, which everyone knows is a complete pain to invest in. It easily lags behind other magic schools - slower cast time, longer cooldown, and worst of all piss-poor damage. (They say priests used to be hot shit back before the Three Days, but I don’t see it). What’s more is, in order to get a priest on your team you need to ask a church for permission: it’s as if you were renting them out for the day. You have to prove to the church that your adventure has “virtuous motives” in some way before they’ll let you have one, it's a complete hassle. I picked a projectile spell basically at random just to have more ranged options, but it turned out alright I guess, it makes it easier to get at the pyx, since the Ravager is weak to holy, too.

So, the Grim Reaper. Altogether not the hardest boss out there. I’d go so far as to argue that the Banshee at the start of the Cathedral is harder. (It always seems to aggro you even before you’ve entered the room, and it starts off with a killer sound-based attack). He does have a nasty trick up his sleeve, though. Namely, his main attack, simply called “Death”. He’ll raise his scythe above his head, speak some incantation then bring it down hard. It won’t do anything at first, of course. It takes a bit of time for the symptoms to set in. Once they do though… It spells delirium, organ failure, swelling in the brain, basically the worst things you can think of. The victims become walking corpses, who don’t know if they’re awake or asleep, alive or dead.. It’s a really sorry thing to see, and I’ve seen it more times than I would’ve liked. People plead, that’s the first thing they do. Doesn't matter if they’re some big, brave paladin, they all turn selfish in the end. All they can think of is having a little more time.

I’m dragging this low-level down the hall towards the boss room, and I know I can’t trust myself to dodge the scythe with all this shit going on in my head. That means it's time for an exploit. It’s one of the easier ones to employ, and basically everyone knows about it. What it involves is getting right up close to the Reaper, if you can believe it. When you get near the guy he raises up his scythe, almost as if upon instinct. Well, his room is a little small, so in very rare cases his weapon of choice will, when raised up, get stuck on the balcony overlooking the room, or in the wooden ceiling. All that’s left then is to wail at him with holy spells until he’s taken care of. Then you can loot him to your heart’s content, you’re basically guaranteed a gold and a blue name off of him every time.

The issue with that is, that it’s too seldom to really depend on. But what if I told you there’s another way - one that makes the scythe catch a little more reliably? That’s where the Talaria comes in. You see, there’s a non-zero chance that the Grim Reaper will spawn in a back corner of the room instead of in the center. If that happens you’re golden, since the scythe has about a 100% chance of getting stuck if raised there. This wouldn’t be an issue for the Boss if you were approaching at a normal speed, then he’d float away from the corner and raise the scythe unhindered, but since you’re racing towards him with the Talaria, he’ll stay in the corner, raise his weapon and get it stuck, and wham, bam, thank you ma’am, that’ll do it. The downside with this plan is that you won’t know if he’s spawned in the corner until you’ve opened the door. And you don’t have time to hesitate once the door is open, since he’ll move away that same moment. Basically, you have run right in on the wings of the wind, and pray to Sofia, the Benediction, and the Great Hero that you don’t collide with the Reaper who has unfortunately spawned in the center of the room that time. It's a big risk to be sure. And those are the last words you want to hear as an adventurer.

I put on my last Talaria, open the door and bolt in...