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I'm a Kitsune?
Chapter 044

Chapter 044

Were it not for my Divine Heart, I’m certain that I would have lost complete track of time by now. Keeping track of everyone I knew, I was able to gauge the time of day, and slowly counted the days as they passed, specifically using the times that they slept as a marker.

To keep me thinking, each day I would count. The first day, I counted by ones. The second day, I counted by two. The third by three. And so on.

Every day, Ezder came and beat me bloody with that wooden club of his. Apparently they fed me something while I was asleep, because I don’t remember being fed anything otherwise. The only person I have seen until now was Ezder, but my senses tells me that Sentra is nearby too, her scent lingering on Ezder’s body.

Although the first few days I said nothing, I felt the need to speak by the end of the third day. So as he once again fixed my dislocated arm and shattered knee cap, I spoke up.

“If this is punishment for what I did to her, why don’t you let Sentra do the punishing?” I had finally asked, looking up at him with a twisted grin.

“You little monster,” Ezder said between grit teeth. “You know what you did to her,” He said, pressing the club against my chest.

“Heh… Hahaha!” I found myself laughing, “I see. She is too afraid to face me. After stabbing me in the back, she can’t even face me? A coward!” I blurted out to the dark-haired boy before me.

I think I understood the situation to some extent. I’m certain Sentra hates me. But she’s more afraid of me than anything. That explained those words she continued to repeat before I blacked out. I’m sorry.

Even after she’s stabbed and kidnapped me she wants me to forgive her.

Hearing my speculation, Ezder once more smashed his club into my ribs, cracking several of them. Although it hurt like fuck, I had slowly learned to muffle my pained screams into a groan. Before every hit, I made sure my tongue wouldn’t be bit off, and grit my teeth.

The pain never lessened, but I had more-or-less grown to prepare for it.

“Don’t you speak like you know anything!” He said.

Coughing out a bit of blood, I chuckled to Ezder.

I was in some sort of castle tower, or maybe a refitted silo? Below me was a pit leading to my death, and the only entrance or exit was the door behind Ezder. Ezder himself stood on a platform that was close enough for him to swing his bat at me. I was suspended in the air in a cross, by a rod that was attached to the metal brace my body was fastened to. Nearly naked, Ezder could beat me in whatever way he wished, watching as my limbs twisted, and skin turned purple.

This was just what I could see though. From my hearing and smell, I concluded that no other people had entered this room even while I was asleep. Despite the scents of various people outside drifting into the room, Ezder was the only one who came to visit me.

Or at least, he’s the only one who enters the room.

“I forgive you,” I said with a faint smirk.

“I don’t want your godforsaken forgiveness,” Ezder said, as he prepared another strike.

“I’m not talking to you,” I said with a chuckle, causing Ezder to freeze for a moment. His head turned towards the doorway, and although no one was there, I still continued, “Come on out, Sentra,” I ordered.

For a moment, nothing. But after a few more seconds, the timid white fox stepped out from behind the passageway, and revealed herself. Ezder seemed to tremble, hiding his rage, before he spoke.

“Hey, Sen, what are you doing here? Come on. You don’t need to be here.”

“No please. Stay,” I said with a grin.

Sentra looked between the two of us, trembling in fear at what to do. Of course she was nearby. She tried to mask her scent so I wouldn’t notice she was there, but that only created other out of place scents. Not to mention the two of us learned to hide our scents together, so even though Sentra was more efficient with her mastery of plants, I could still pick up on the signs she left behind.

And besides, there was simply no way that Ezder could leave Sentra alone for such a long time. She had to be nearby. When I realized this simple fact, I decided to test my hold on her.

However, I realized now, that Ezder’s beatings will probably intensify as a result.

“Sentra dear. Why did you stab me? That wasn’t a very nice thing to do,” I said, prompting Ezder to look at me with a wild rage in his eyes.

“I… I was afraid,” She let out in a sob.

“Afraid of what? That I would hurt your friend here?” I asked, tilting my head like I always did when asking a question. Sentra nodded, her sobs intensifying as she tried to hold back her fear.

So Ezder really was a friend of hers. Well, that was pretty obvious at this point. Still, it was regretful that this was how I ended up captured and beaten to a bloody pulp. I wanted to punish that crying girl, beat her a bit—but watching her conflicted expression, and trembling body, I could only sigh out.

“Like I said; I forgive you for stabbing me,” I repeated, throwing my head back haughtily, despite my current position. “Now get me down from here. I promise not to harm your little friend,” I said, focusing my eyes on Sentra’s.

“Stop it!” Ezder shouted at me, before Sentra could take a single step towards me. “He’s manipulating you Sen. Look into his head, you know he’s just trying to trick you!” He said desperately to her.

Ah, well, he has a point. I might not kill Ezder, but I would certainly punch him a few times and make up for the teeth I lost. Those don’t grow back!

However, telling her to read my mind? I chuckled silently to myself.

“I… I can’t!” Sentra said at Ezder’s suggestion.

“Can’t what?”

“Looking into someone’s head without permission. That’s… That’s unforgivable,” She stammered out, trembling under Ezder’s shocked gaze.

“He’s the enemy! All the things he did to you! He broke you, and you broke free if his hold!” He said, grabbing onto Sentra’s shoulders as she tried to back away. She was afraid. Afraid of what, exactly? “You’re free now!” He repeated. “You don’t have to listen to what he said. You are your own person,” He said, his voice cracking, as he pulled Sentra into a hug.

—However, “She’s not free,” I said. Although I expected Ezder to snap back at me, he only responded with a flinch, as his hug around the conflicted Sentra tightened.

“None of us are truly free anyways,” I continued. “Sentra is just less free than you or I,” I informed Ezder.

“Go back to the room,” The foreign lord whispered into my white fox’s ears as he embraced her. As I opened my mouth to object however, Ezder swung about, smashing the side of my gut before I could utter a word. As I tried to catch my air in a panting fit, I saw Sentra fidgeting, as Ezder once more asked her to leave. As he guided her out the room, the two of them vanished from my sight as I tried to catch my breath.

I’m sure he’s wondering what I did exactly to make her so adverse to using her powers—or maybe he knows, but hopes she could break free? Well, in a way, it was a trauma she first developed in our fight. However, if left alone, maybe she could have recovered a bit, and used her mind-reading after some therapy. But now? She could no longer bring herself to read a person’s mind, especially not one who didn’t consent to it. It was deemed a taboo, and she has the experience to go with it.

It was slightly inconvenient for me, in regards to utilizing her power, but it was also important to prevent her from being able to read my mind. I couldn’t have my cake and eat too. So to prevent her from reading my mind, even casually or by habit, I had her undergo a form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. In the end, even reading the mind of a stranger or enemy was a taboo.

In this case, I suppose that decision was the right choice.

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

Maybe.

Eventually, Ezder alone returned, a scowl on his face. However, part of me wondered if he only put up that scowl for me. He glared at me, looking to my stomach where he had attacked me earlier. I took a peek down, only to see inflamed red, before looking back up at Ezder.

With a chuckle, I broke the awkward silence between us.

“It’s called Stockholm Syndrome,” I said.

I expected an immediate response, however Ezder only glared at me for a few long moments before nodding, “I know what the fuck it’s called.”

Letting out air through my nose as I chuckled, I grinned down at Ezder. “So, you’re a reincarnater too,”

—“Don’t you dare—” As he spoke up, he once again jabbed the club in his hand against my bruised gut, this time with a considerable power behind it, prompting a pained scream from me as he continued, “—put me—” he twisted the bat, making sure that I could feel my organs make room for his blunt weapon. “—in the same category as you!”

I could only groan and whine as I tried to recover from the damage I had taken. Eventually, as was standard practice already, Ezder began to heal my body using that amulet. As my body was mostly set into place properly, I let out a soft sigh of relief.

I doubted I would be able to endure this for very long, not only psychologically, but there was also the worry about the amulet’s limitations. However, I understood Ezder’s way of thinking a little bit more.

“Torture” in the traditional sense is taboo to him. It’s a relic of his “Modern” upbringing. But he hates me enough to bend that taboo of his. In that way, maybe I’m lucky? Hah! Look at me; considering myself lucky after having most of my bones broken several times over.

I thought perhaps this would be the end of our session together, however it seemed that Ezder still couldn’t release his rage from before. His hands trembling as he looked down to my feet, he grit his teeth before once more approaching me.

—“You, bastard!”

Ezder, in a sudden outburst of rage, raised his club above his head. Unable to move, much less escape, I became the target of his savage attacks once more. I could hear my bones smash to pieces as he struck my limbs. Seeing how much force each strike held behind it, I was certain that before now, he was holding back.

He made sure not to strike my torso, but all four of my limbs became sacrifices to his rage. I screamed and cried, tears welling up under my eyes as I endured the pain. My body was wrecked, and I was barely able to respond with any of my banter. Amidst my pain, my old jokes didn’t seem quite as funny, and yet, I still laughed. I laughed to hide just how much pain I was in, but perhaps the tears in my eyes gave it away.

After Ezder screams of rage and anger had subsided, and he stood there panting before me, looking at me with eyes that could only be described as looking at filth, I wondered when he would kill me. He wants to release his rage on me, for what I did to Sentra. But killing me would be quicker, and ensure Sentra could be “released” from me.

However, his means of torture wasn’t what I was expecting either. They were more like a child trying to beat on another child as revenge—savagely smashing every bit of my body only to repair it afterwards. I could understand the revenge aspect, but wouldn’t a noble like him have access to professional “interrogators”? He wants to carry out the punishment himself because Sentra is important to him, but he doesn’t seem to be using the most effective methods to break me.

I had wondered why this was the case, up until a while ago, but the fact Ezder is probably anti-torture in his past life likely played a big role.

However… “Heh…” I let out a low chuckle, as I realized something funny. That laugh suddenly burst out into a hysterical cackle, as Ezder looked on at me with a frown. Even with my limbs broken, and pain flowing thru my body, I could not help but to laugh at this marvelous joke.

“She… She begged you not to kill me? To go easy on me?” I said, while laughing like a madman. “Don’t kill him, she said, right? Right?! Haha!”

I was genuinely laughing. Not just to cover up my pain or hide some secret, but laughing from the deepest core of my soul. Her loyalty to her Friend was quite strong, so much so that she couldn’t bare to have him fall to misfortune. But that didn’t mean she I didn’t have a hold on her mind.

“You hope, you wish, that the poor girl would go back to her old self, but there is simply no changing what has happened,” I shout out. “You cannot erase the mark I have left on her soul, any more than you can change who she is,” I mocked the boy.

Ezder looked up to me, his expression stern as he waited for me to finish. As if he was marking off every word I was saying. Counting the number of strikes he would lay on me. I could tell already that I would be punished even harsher for what I’m saying, but I can’t seem to care at this given moment.

“Your beautiful friend, isn’t she? You care for her, but she is no longer the girl you once liked,” I said, before coughing momentarily. “Fuck, I have a cold,” I muttered, before looking back to Ezder with my ear-to-ear grin.

“Are you done yet?” He finally asked me.

I almost chuckled and laughed, just to spite him, but I was running out of laughs by this point, and only let out a light chuckle. “It’s your side that started the war,” I said. “It’s the result of your actions that she’s like this now.”

As the stoic mask cracked ever so slightly, and hints of rage creeped into Ezder’s features, it looked as though he had something to say. But with not a word leaving his lips, I suddenly felt something.

I don’t know the cause, but pain had overwhelmed my being. Every inch of my body, every corner of my mind. I couldn’t even scream or let out a moan; even my throat and lungs felt as if they were submerged in a sea of lava. It felt as though my very soul was set over an open flame and left to cook alive. My eyes had rolled to the back of my head as I was bathed in raw suffering. Even “enduring” the pain was an impossibility.

Everything screamed and ached, and not a single coherent thought could form—I simply wished and hoped for it to all stop. I couldn’t bare it much longer, and even found myself pleading for death. Yet no intelligible sound left my lips—no consistent string of words formed in my head.

When it had finally stopped, and color returned to my world, Ezder had already gone.

What the hell was that? It was a terrible sensation that seemed to attack my very core. Although I wanted to laugh it off, I couldn’t. That feeling was terrible, so terrible that it etched a fear into my heart that I couldn’t shake off.

I shuck and trembled for some time, wondering what the hell that was. A mental attack. It had to be. Fuck… Since when could Bijkarru do that? I thought that could only control beasts and wild animals? How does one defend against that?! After a moment, I had even noticed that my body was healed up, which meant that I was passed out for a while.

After fidgeting alone for some time, contemplating what to do, I noticed a scent in the air. It was a peculiar plant I was already familiar with. It could only be one person. What could I say? Would she free me? With little else to lose, I sighed.

“You know, I may have forgiven you, but Yenna might not.”

I waited one second, two seconds, ten seconds, before eventually Sentra stepped from behind the wall, wearing a loose gown to cover her curves. She had apparently come to check up on me, and make sure I was alive. She didn’t speak immediately, but I could tell she wanted to respond.

“B-but everything she did was to deceive and control me,” She finally spoke up, casting her eyes down. “She never…” She hiccupped, unable to finish what she was saying.

I wondered for a moment, before... “So, you heard our talk?” I asked curiously, to which she nodded. I see. However… “Yenna’s not that good an actor” I claimed, trying to shrug my shoulders, but finding I couldn’t move them, just as usual.

“What do you mean by that?” She asked, turning her eyes up to look at me.

“I mean what I said. Yenna can’t hide her feelings very well,” I said. “Her thoughts are basically an open book,” I said. Well, I may have been exaggerating. Even I didn’t know everything she thought about. Often times, she even surprised me by how smart she was, breaking away from the “meat-head” archetype I envisioned her in.

But her emotions weren’t so often hidden. Now, whatever feelings she had for Sentra, I can’t attest to. Not without asking the girl herself. I was honest when told Yenna she could love who she wanted, but I don’t know her emotions.

However…

“Just get me out of this thing, and I’ll smooth things over with Yenna,” I urged.

However Sentra shook her head as tears seemed to form under her eyes. “Please, don’t make me do this,” She pleaded. “You… You’ll kill Ezder,” she said, looking up to me.

It gave me a sour taste in my mouth, remembering that I was stabbed in the back in order to protect Ezder. I understood to some degree her worry. She was dependent on me, and even now had trouble denying me, but now I learn that if Ezder is in danger, she’s willing to protect him above all else. On the other hand, the same could be said about Ezder trying to harm me.

I looked down at Sentra in silence for a moment, unsure of how to communicate with her. As I opened my mouth to speak, hoping for something to come out, all I could muster was, “I won’t.”

However, Sentra stepped back, shaking her head as she shivered. As tears welled in her eyes, she looked to me, “I know you’re lying!” She said. “I don’t need to read your mind to know what,” She sobbed. As she fell to her knees, she fidgeted, clearly conflicted about what to do. She probably doesn’t want me being beaten and bruised like this. But the alternative would break her heart, she concluded. How troubling for me.

—However… If she wouldn’t free me, then there was at least one thing she could do.

As she finished her sobbing, Sentra slowly pulled herself to her feet, and turned around, no longer wanting to look at me. So I spoke up.

“If you won’t rescue me yourself, then tell Yenna where I am,” I said.

With her back to me, Sentra halted. She considered my words, not looking back for a good minute or so, before she began to walk. She didn’t say “No”, I thought.

I once again concluded, this was going to be a long week.

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