How long has it been?
Two days? I think that's how long it's been. I can't tell.
My body says it's only been two days, but I have no real way to tell.
Perhaps it's my mind playing tricks on me.
It doesn't help that I'm trapped in an eternal darkness.
I can tell I'm being held by my feet upside down. my arms are bound behind my back, and my tails are all tied together. I can't quite tell what sort of clothes I'm wearing, but it doesn't quite feel like my usual.
The nearest plant is outside of my range, and with my eyesight stolen from me, I cannot properly use my bolts.
I thought it would be a good idea to relearn to use this ability, however I did not know where I was, or have a good idea of how to practice like this. With the blood pooling to my head, it feels difficult to think, and I may end up hurting myself.
With my ears filled with cloth, it's also hard to hear anything, and the cloth over my head, covering my face and nose, makes it hard to smell anything.
I underestimated my enemy. Or rather, I attacked without fully understanding their ability.
That girl, she bested me.
No, perhaps she was actually a boy?
That's impossible, but thinking back on it, their thoughts seemed to imply such a thing.
I didn't have the luxury of contemplating the meaning of his thoughts at the time though; I was desperate to defeat that Fox.
However, a boy Fox Spirit? I've never heard of such a thing. But... their scent, how did they smell? Like a Fox Spirit. But... did it smell like a boy? Perhaps. I may have came to the conclusion that she merely had a mate of some sort, but she was quite young, so I can't be sure.
When it comes to mating, any boy a Fox Spirit gives birth to—although it is a rare occurrence—turns out to be the race of the father, while any girl comes out to be another Fox Spirit—at least most of the time.
This isn't a trait unique to our race, however. The all-male Reobijj tribe that I've heard quite a lot about, is similar. That said, I have heard of a few instances of females being born among their kind.
I suppose an exception was bound to happen.
However, since waking I've been here alone, and hungry. Worst of all is my pride and dignity was horribly stained after relieving myself. What could I have done?
I thought he would interrogate me, but he merely overlooked me, and left me here bound. I don't know where I am, but not a single piece of plant-life was within my grasp. All too far and out of reach.
What? Wh-what's that?
Suddenly, I feel a squirming at my feet.
A lot of squirming. Ah! It's... they're bugs. Insects!
A feeling of disgust and fear seemed to wash over me, as I began to struggle once more.
It was a horde of insects which crawled down my body, and the sensation panicked me.
W-why!? From where?!
I was not bitten or hurt, yet as they traveled my body, I could not help but want to scream out at the top of my longs. My frantic squirming only seemed to excite the swarm of various critters as they covered my body. I felt them squirm about me, and for a moment I wondered if this was how I'd die?
Surely it doesn't hurt now, but to be swarmed like this... Did they intend to eat me alive!?
However, only a moment later—
—Water splashed all over me, and I found myself wet.
The bugs? Gone.
Who splashed me with water?
No, I knew who it was.
As I felt my ankles freed, rather than falling to the ground like one might expect, it was as though I was already on the ground. It was certainly disorienting, and the sudden changed caused me to go dizzy for a moment.
However, I didn't miss this chance—pushing away my captor, I took the chance to run.
I had to escape.
I had to get out.
However, only three steps forward, and I was once more defenselessly on the ground.
I should have known. I learned that he had the ability to control time during our fight. He displayed quite a speed, so just trying to run with legs that had mostly fallen asleep and were numb, was pointless.
Once more my feet were bound, and I noticed the clothes I wore being removed. They were simply cloth, certainly not my own, but it seems that he was unbinding my wrists and ankles to remove it, and quickly rebinding me.
Is he about to...?
No, I quickly realized what he was doing as he began pouring water on me.
He was cleaning me? Like a child? How humiliating.
He scrubbed my body down with a rag, cleaning my filth away. I felt that he may have gone too far with cleaning, however he then began to dry me.
To be seen and touched like this by that bastard...
I expected to once more be tied upside down, however instead, I was pushed onto some metallic surface. A cage? He's putting me in a cage? As I tried to move, I realized the cage was not that large, and even if I wasn't bound, I wouldn't be able to stand up. In fact, it was barely enough to sit down.
Still my tails seemed to be freed, and were no longer cramped together. My legs on the other hand... Before I knew it, my ankles were no longer bound together, but instead rope seemed to tie them to my thighs, forcing my legs to remain bent.
Without any way to balance myself, I'm practically on my knees, slightly hunched over.
Then, I felt that the cloth bag which up till now covered my head, was removed. As air travels into my nostrils, my sense of smell seems to return, as I gain some awareness of where I am.
Or rather, I can smell my captor—Toyaru. "Spirit of Fortune"—A laughable name. If only I could have some of that fortune.
He's nearby, practically in my face. His scent is strong, and now that I have the time, I can tell—this fox is certainly a boy.
I could even feel his excitement, as he watches me shiver before him.
I feel his hands graze my cheek, as he begins to caress my face. I would bite him if I could, knowing that he's merely toying with me.
—!
I suddenly realize an idea. If this boy continues to touch me like this, does that not fulfill the requirements?
—`Quite pretty. Though, she's still not ready. Maybe I should starve her a little longer?`
As I expected, I became able to see his thoughts. All I need is to be able to perceive him, but that doesn't quite mean just sight, now does it?
But I see. He intends to starve me. It was distressing, but if that was the case, I could at least try to harden myself to his tactics.
As if on cue, my stomach began to rumble in hunger.
—`Well, I guess people need water and food. Wouldn't want my pet to die,`
As I was processing what he meant by that, the cloth around my mouth was removed, and the gag shoved into it was pulled out. Finally I could talk, but my throat was too tired to say anything. Any sounds I made was ever so quiet, but before I could voice a complaint, a spoon was shoved into my mouth.
Th-this bastard! Does he intend to feed me by hand?!
However, as he held my head by my chin, I felt that I really had no power to refuse. Besides, the food wasn't that bad. Nothing luxurious, but it was edible. From the boys thoughts, I figured it was a sort of soup.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
The food wasn't bad, but once it was over, he once again shoved the gag into my mouth before I could resist, and the second cloth was tied around my lips to secure the gag in place.
Then, the bag was once more placed over my face, and the small world of smells became much smaller.
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Weeks passed, I'm sure of it. Yet, hunger never came.
Only a day or two after that fox left, all sounds vanished, and I could no longer smell anything. I couldn't feel the cloth or rope that bound me, or anything at all. It was as if my body ceased to be.
Worst of all, I was lucid through it all.
What happened? I didn't know.
However, it scared me. Something is going on, right?
What is it?
Where is that Fox?
Did he forget about me?
Am I already dead?
I don't feel anything. I haven't felt anything in a while.
It's maddening. It's horrifying. I... I don't want to be dead like this.
What about everything before this? To have been left like this, alone in some nowhere.
Surely, Lein should have sent someone to retrieve me. Right?
What would they find of me?
Or perhaps—was I abandoned?
After all, a four-tailed Fox Spirit losing to a Fox with but a single tail is a laughable joke.
But I could do little against his speed.
I suppose this is proof, that even with all this power, I still only ranked as a low-class Spirit.
I tried to be useful, but with each tail I grew, the power behind it was weak—at least compared to my inborn tail, my power to command all plants. It was the power that Lein praised me for, and took me under his protection for.
However, gaining power for my kind was not so easy. So I employed another method at Lein's suggestion.
Many times I doubted if such a method worked as well, and many times I cursed my misfortune to find such inadequate abilities. But I could not doubt him, could I? Even now, I shouldn't doubt him, as he did it all for me...
But... aren't I here because of him?
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That thought echoed inside of me, with little else able to distract me in this eternal darkness.
While it was complicated, it was certainly true.
I came to hate myself for having this doubt in me, and for being unable to refute it.
But, this loneliness—it crept into the deepest corners of my heart, and brought out a fear and anxiety I have never felt. Never have I experienced such a sensation of "nothing".
It was maddening.
If it were only my sight, I could learn to cope, but all I have now is my own thoughts. I felt that I might even forget what my own voice sounded like, or how to talk, if this went on.
But all my thoughts eventually came back to excuses.
If I didn't fight that fox...
If I didn't take that mission...
If I didn't take Lein's help...
If I didn't give up on enduring myself...
If I wasn't so weak...
If I wasn't so afraid of being alone...
Why am I here? I don't want to feel this. I want to go back. I want to feel warmth, I want to hear sound, I want to see color, I want to smell food...
Is it too much to ask? Can I not just peacefully enjoy comfort?
I want to hug myself in warmth, but I can't even feel my arms.
Even feeling cold would be better than this, but instead I feel nothing.
I'm scared.
I was never scared of the dark. Even without sight, I could navigate in the dark well enough.
But this was beyond that.
I can't help but seriously consider—am I truly dead?
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—Warmth!
Sweet warmth. I can feel it!.
How long has it been since this sensation has enveloped me?
I could not feel neither cold nor heat, but to suddenly be blanketed by this warmth, I couldn't help but shiver in delight. I don't even seem to mind that the scent of that fox caresses my nose as I rub my face against the ever familiar sensation of a warm hand.
The cloth in my ears was removed, and I could hear a familiar, giggling voice, as I cherished this moment. An eternity of nothingness—surely I have never experienced anything so frightening! For it to be over...
"I have food," a soft voice whispered into my ear. "Would you like some?"
I was hesitant. Wait, wasn't this person my enemy?
No, he was merely defending himself, isn't that right?
If he intended to kill me, he wouldn't just poison me.
But how do I answer...?
I decided, to timidly nod my head up at the first voice I heard in so long.
After all, I had a hunger that, though not very great, felt massive compared to the "nothing" that I felt before.
Just like before, my gag was removed. However I seemed to forget to close my mouth. Actually, it seemed like my body movements over all was sluggish. I haven't controlled myself for ages after all. As a hand held up my chin, I was slowly fed the same soup from before—yet it somehow tasted amazing luxurious than before. I wanted more as I greedily swallowed the soup and hung my mouth open for more.
"Aww, quite an adorable pet," a voice rang out in amusement, but I cared little for that. I was hungry, and this commoner soup felt like the greatest thing there ever was.
However, after only 10 spoonfuls, no more came.
"That's enough for now." the soft voice said.
But I could smell there was more. Surely... surely they would not starve me further, right?
"P-please," I tried to say, but found that I slurred over my words, after months of not being able to talk. "I don't want to be alone again," I begged.
That darkness, that loneliness. How could I experience it again?
Even if I was to be blind forever, that experience was not something I wanted to have again.
However, as a hand came up to my ear, and began to lightly scratch it, I heard his ever soft whisper cheerfully say, "Don't worry, I'll be back tomorrow. Just be a good girl, ok?"
I could do nothing more but nod.
I had no right to refuse.
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Author Notes:
So this chapter provides some insight into Sentra herself, and also some clues regarding Kitsune.
It's not too difficult to figure out exactly what happened to Sentra, and honestly I kinda feel lazy for going this route, but at the same time it sort of just fits with the story.
Don't have much else to say. I've actually slowed down in writing chapters a few days ago, and at this rate the daily dose chapters might stop, thus sending my poor readers into a state of withdrawal. I might take a short break at that point, and just write up more chapters though.
On a related note, I'm thinking of getting a donation link (after I reach the 50k word requirement), seeing how broke I am, like all the time. It probably won't affect my schedule much, beyond maybe some motivation. Think I'll end up commissioning an artist if I get enough though. That's assuming my shitty story has enough people willing to throw away their money for me.
Anyways, as always Feedback and Suggestions are appreciated and encouraged.
If you like/hate this story, please leave a review, and maybe senpai will notice you. (He probably won't)