Emanuel walked out onto the field, where the class would have PE. The field was a typical high school's combination field, where one could play football, soccer, and any other sport on the central grass area- provided the right equipment was set up- and was surrounded by a track for running. Emanuel was immediately met with odd stares from his classmates, and looked down at the armor he was wearing in embarrassment. None of his classmates were wearing anything remotely protective, and he frankly looked like a dork wearing such an outfit, especially to simple training.

"What?" Emanuel asked defensively as he approached the group that mulled around the track.

"Nah it's just... you look good," Ken mocked, doing his best to stifle a laugh.

"Yeah?" Emanuel retorted. "Aren't you the guy who wears that emo gas mask on assignments?"

"The gas mask is for my health," Ken replied indignantly, "Feeder ash is terrible for the lungs."

The two bickered for a time as the rest of the class laughed, with an occasional remark from Maria or a word of support from Isabella. Before long, a familiar face emerged onto the field, who would be leading them in their exercises today in light of Haleford's absence.

"What's with all the noise?" Sylvester Malzone asked halfheartedly, not truly interested in what was happening between his students. In fact, whether they could even be called his students was up for debate- but that was neither here nor there. Today at least, he was in charge of them, so they were his students until the school day ended.

"We're just giving Emanuel a hard time because of his getup," Ken answered, slapping Emanuel on the back.

"What, the armor?" Sylvester moaned. "Armor's armor. If he's got the stamina to keep fighting with it on, I'm sure he's fine." Sylvester cast a thoughtful glance at Emanuel, who looked up from his feet. "Besides, Feeders have been getting stronger lately- if armor's keeping Emanuel here alive, then more power to him." Emanuel smiled to himself; it wasn't a phenomenal reassurance, especially given Sylvester's halfhearted tone, but it was reassurance nonetheless.

Emanuel rolled over in bed to shut off his alarm. He didn't need it to wake up- he wasn't asleep to begin with. He hadn't been sleeping, at all. The only times he fell asleep were when his body gave out from under him, and in those rare cases his mind was plagued with such ferocious nightmares that he woke up almost instantly. Try as he might, there was nothing he could do about the sickening image of Sylvester's head falling limp in his mind, nothing to be done about the hideous sound of his neck snapping and of his dead body falling to the floor. He was well aware that it was self-defense, but that did nothing to soothe his aching soul. Even if Sylvester rarely talked in class- or at all for that matter- there was simply something in Emanuel that could not bear to attend class and to see that empty seat that Sylvester once occupied.

Emanuel's phone buzzed.

Ken: you awake?

Emanuel looked at his phone in silence. This wasn't the first time Ken had tried to contact him over his hiatus, and he was sure it wouldn't be the last, but he still couldn't bring himself to reply. Maybe he wasn't ready to talk about it yet, or maybe he wasn't ready to see Ken yet, or maybe he just wasn't ready to talk to anyone at all yet.

Ken: u read the last text so imma assume ur awake

either that or u fell asleep w ur phone on

anyway

were going out to the ice cream place again

you should join

Emanuel considered the offer. Ice cream, and going outside in general, was the last thing he wanted or needed right now. Deep down, Emanuel probably felt it was the opposite of what he deserved. But he knew Ken, and he knew that he wouldn't let him rot away in his room alone.

Emanuel: If I say no, you're going to come and get me aren't you

Ken: u know me so well

but fr

i wont if u dont wanna

its just

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

ik its only been like five days

but we gotta get u outta the house man

its not good for u

Emanuel forced himself to smile. There was something about his friends being the same people he always knew that brought him comfort. The more things change, the more things stay the same, or something like that. Emanuel wasn't a poet. With great effort, Emanuel got out of his bed, changing out of his clothes and showering for the first time in three days.

Emanuel: Fine, I'll go. Same place, right?

Ken: wait like fr

hell yeah lets go

Emanuel couldn't help but smile. As much as he didn't feel ready to step back outside, he felt equally encouraged by Ken to go on.

"Good to see ya," Ken patted Emanuel on the shoulder as he walked up in front of the ice cream shop where the rest of Chrysanthemum Class was gathered. Maria and Isabella stood up in shock, surprised to see Emanuel. Dory joined in on the surprise too, once she notice him. Clearly, Ken had kept his appearance a surprise.

The name of the place was Ivory Palace, a surprisingly gaudy name for such a humble family-owned ice cream shop. The outside was as unassuming as any other store on the block, painted a creamy white color no doubt reminiscent of vanilla, and the inside was painted a similar white with swirl patterns painted across the wall in various reds, browns, and oranges, to simulate the numerous flavors of ice cream available at the store. A small number of tables and chairs were set up in the building, but a good number of them were set up outside, under the building's awning.

The five of them walked through the door and into the building, greeted by a warm welcome from the middle-aged woman who stood opposite the display of the numerous flavors. The students walked up one by one, giving their orders. Maria ordered a scoop of matcha. Isabella ordered a bowl of affogato, an Italian desert in which coffee is poured over ice cream. Dory ordered chocolate gelato, which she would have preferred to be frozen yogurt. Ken ordered vanilla gelato, which was nowhere near his favorite flavor but the closest to what he offered. Emanuel went last.

"I'll take the strawberry cheesecake-" Emanuel began, but stopped short as he looked down at the flavor. Something about the ribbons of strawberry jam that marbled the ice cream struck a chord with him, and he was instantly brought back to the classroom, to the fight against Sylvester, and to Sylvester's bleeding throat. In all too clear detail, reflected in the ice cream, he saw the ripped vocal chords and exposed vertebrae of the man's neck, as he lay dead on the ground. It was a stupid way to remember such a traumatic event, Emanuel was more than aware of that, but he still could not bring himself to look at it. His stomach churned violently, as his mind wandered back to the battle, and to the life he'd taken.

"Nevermind," Emanuel said quickly as he dashed out of the building, stopping to sit at one of the tables outside. He was sweating profusely, and doing his best to control his breathing. He tried to recall the words of his therapist, but could only remember the battle. His mind wandered and wandered, and try as he might to ground himself, there was simply no way of coming back to reality for him. Every time he tried to think of something else, his brain managed to twist it back onto the topic of Sylvester, or something related to Sylvester, or something related to death or bloodshed. Emanuel felt the panic rising in his chest as he began to fear whether or not this episode would ever end.

"You good?" Ken asked as he sat down across from Emanuel, snapping him out of his trance.

"Yeah, that seemed pretty bad," Maria said, placing a hand on Emanuel's shoulder.

"What was that?" Isabella asked, squatting down next to Emanuel so they were at eye level. "Sorry, that came out bad."

"Are you okay?" Dory asked as she moved over to stand next to Ken.

Emanuel looked around him, at the people he'd barely known longer than a couple of weeks, who seemed so genuinely concerned about him that it nearly moved him to tears. He balled up his fist, doing his best not to spill his guts all over them- literally and metaphorically. It didn't feel right to force them all to listen to his story and to share his burden, because in a better world it never would've had to happen. If he had remained more aware of his surroundings, then maybe he wouldn't have had to kill Sylvester, and maybe Ano wouldn't be in the hospital, and maybe everything could have worked out perfectly fine. It's a stupid thing, to regret the past, but he can't help but think about everything he did wrong, and how all of his mistakes added up to a dead man, and how at the end of the day a man they'd all gotten to know was dead because of him. He couldn't stop thinking about how he could have possibly done better, and how maybe if he'd tried a little harder he could've stood up and fought him down without killing him. But more than anything, it hurt to think about Sylvester as a person- the teacher, the League player, the man who'd gone through rank exams and learned to use his modus just like all of them, and how more than anything, despite all of his flaws and his crimes, he was still a person just like Emanuel.

Maria hugged Emanuel, and it was then that he felt the tears streaming down his face, and realized everything he'd just thought to himself, he'd actually said out loud.

"It's okay," Maria cooed. "You did everything you could. None of us can blame you, none of us want to blame you, for what happened."

"It keeps me up at night," Ken said, looking down, "thinking about how I couldn't do anything to help you."

"But," Emanuel stuttered, "but you guys were hurt-"

"Not that hurt," Maria replied solemnly. "We were healed up by the time Mr. Malzone went down the first time."

"If I had acted a little faster-" Ken said.

"It took all we had left to deal with the Feeders that started popping up," Maria continued. "We were on our last legs by the time Dory came back with the faculty and the police."

Emanuel reached up to wipe his tears, and Maria let go of him.

"It's horrible, what you had to do," Isabella finally chimed in, "but we don't blame you for it. It really wasn't your fault. If anything, we're sorry we couldn't help you, and left it all up to you and Ano."

"So let us make up for that," Ken said, "and rely on us. Share your troubles with us. You deserve to."

Emanuel thought he was done crying. He was very, very wrong.