I don’t think I’ve ever been not tired. Whenever I walk, I slouch, and I have never been able to get up more than two flights of stairs. When I was a kid, my mum always said I’ll grow out of it. My father was a strong man, working full-time as a martial artist. He had high expectations for me. I guess I squandered those, didn’t I? I just never understood why he always looked at me so reproachfully. And I worked hard, believe me. To earn his favour, I didn’t hesitate to get a couple of bruises and fractures.
When he passed, around when I was twelve or so, I was broken. But, then again, this did lend me time to focus on what I did best. Be a disappointment. But, unlike the last twelve years of my life, this time, I was disappointing my mother. She had high expectations too, I guess all parents do, but she hoped I could at least pursue the culinary arts like she did. But I couldn’t. I was too weak. I could barely whisk a couple of eggs into an omelette, much less do something so consuming as to cut up a piece of meat or, god forbid! actually fry it.
When I had my eighteenth birthday, she practically threw me out. I lived on government grants for a while, but I really needed a job. I kinda wish I hadn't gotten myself into such a situation, but, well…
So I started writing erotica professionally. Not a pleasant job, far from it, but… it payed the bills. Atleast, that is, until someone broke into my home. You heard that right, some stupid wanker just had to break into the home of someone so weak he could barely step out of the door, much less earn any cash he could use for anything except rent and take-out(couldn’t cook myself, remember?), resulting in a situation I’m a bit hesitant to explain.
Well, long story short, he got extremely irritated when all he found was a bunch of porno-mags and a computer from the late nineties, and I guess he, once more, just couldn’t help himself and had to take out his frustrations on someone. That someone being yours truly. Simple to say, I didn’t exactly survive. I would probably have been able to fight back if I had been able to just plow through as a kid and actually get strong, but… then again, I wouldn’t be here if I did, right?
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So, where am I now? I have no clue. Hell? Heaven? No clue. All I know is, it’s really blue. Like, sky blue. A cloud here and there… pleasant, really. But I can’t feel my body. At all. It’s like I’m just floating about in this endless sky, no horizon in sight, with only my eyes to go by. Actually, now that I think of it… I can actually hear something. You know when you’re sitting in a park on a pleasant summer day in May, reading some good book or another, people talking all around you, but since you’re focused on other things, you just can’t hear them, and all you hear is a buzzing murmur? Yeah, that.
It’s like people are talking, but I can’t hear what they’re saying. Extremely annoying. But, if I turn this way, I think… I can hear the more clearly? Yeah, yeah, that’s it. Right over… there. If I look that way, right up, just outside the endless sky, I think I can see… people? Holy-, they’re humongous!! I can only barely see them, it’s so murky and their faces are so distorted, but that is most definitely people. No, not people, more like giants! Their faces extend beyond the horizon I said I couldn’t see, taking up the entire visible sky. There are three, I think. Two men, one young, the other old, and one woman, looking weary and anxious. The young man looks… well, he sure doesn’t look very approving, but… the old man looks excited, atleast. How do I know he’s an old man? Well, firstly, he has a beard, so… yeah.
Actually, wait. Now that I think about it, if I can turn around to face these giants, then…
Hey!! I’m here!!!
I quickly struggle and squirm in their general direction. The bearded man looks excited, the woman seems (somehow) even more distressed, and the young man turns his gaze to the bearded man expectantly. Alright. Alright alright alright. They CAN see me!!
I move closer towards them, squiggling whatever it is I’m squiggling to the best of my non-existent abilities, and suddenly, as I get even closer, I can feel myself hitting a soft wall of sorts, but I don’t stop, no, I sink into it, and the light is blinding, and…
Where the fuck am I?