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I, the Mountain Bandit King of the East Blue
Chapter 5: "The Mountain Bandit King? I’ll Claim That Title Myself!"

Chapter 5: "The Mountain Bandit King? I’ll Claim That Title Myself!"

Beckmann’s eye twitched as Sige’s drunken ramble crescendoed. Sixty Yonko? The mental image alone bordered on blasphemy.

"Captain," he muttered, shooting Shanks a sidelong glance, "this… this can’t possibly—"

But Shanks, sloshing ale down his chin, merely grinned and hooked an arm around Sige’s shoulder. "So cool, Sige-san! Crushing 56 Yonko? Teach me your ways!"

Beckmann pinched the bridge of his nose. Why did I expect rationality from him?

Across the table, young Luffy’s eyes glittered like twin supernovas. “Mountain Bandit King… so awesome!”

Yasopp, ever the instigator, leaned in. “Hey, Luffy! You wanna be Pirate King? Why not switch to Mountain Bandit King instead? Sige-san’s way cooler!”

The crew roared with laughter. Luffy froze, lips pursed in serious thought.

Sige’s internal alarm bells: ABORT. ABORT. This joke writes itself into catastrophe.*

——

Sige’s Panicked Flashforward:

A grown Luffy, straw hat replaced with a bandana, roaring: “I’M GONNA BE… MOUNTAIN BANDIT KING!”

Zoro lost in a forest. Nami robbing hikers. Sanji cooking squirrel stew.

The Grand Line? Nah. The entire crew climbing Everest.

HELL NO.

——

Reality:

Clang!

Sige slammed his mug, KING’s aura erupting like volcanic ash. The tavern fell silent.

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“A man’s dreams…” His voice rumbled, Emperor Engine syncing to his heartbeat, “…aren’t jokes.”

Luffy jerked upright, straw hat (borrowed from Shanks’ head) slipping over his eyes.

Sige knelt, face solemn. “Listen, kid.”

Thud-thud-THUD.

“Dreams don’t expire. Age doesn’t matter.” He adjusted the oversized hat on Luffy’s head. “This* straw hat… it suits you.”

Shanks’ grin froze. The crew’s mugs hovered mid-air.

“*But mountain banditry?" Sige scoffed, aura sharpening. "Retirement gig for relics like me. You?"

He jabbed a finger at the door, where dawn light crept in. “Real men chase horizons. Go. Sail where I never could.”

Luffy’s tiny hands clutched the hat. The Emperor Engine swelled.

Thud! — Freedom.

Thud! — Adventure.

Thud! — A king’s vow.

The crew held their breath.

Beckman’s Mind: He’s… replicating Shanks’ legend. But why? Who is this man?!

Shanks: Roger… did you plan this?

——

Meanwhile, in Luffy’s Brain:

Heroic symphony plays.

Swords clashing! Waves crashing! MEAT RAINING FROM SKY!

Sige’s silhouette merges with Shanks’—two giants carving his destiny.

Luffy (Tears Niagara Falls): “I’LL… I’LL BE PIRATE KING AND MOUNTAIN BANDIT KING!!!”

Sige: …Wait.

Shanks (Suddenly Competitive): “Oi, I called dibs on mentoring the Pirate King!”

Sige (Panic): “He said ‘and’! That’s illegal! System! HELP!”

[Sync Rate: 95% → 97%!]

[Skill Upgraded: 「 Legacy Hijack」— The more others believe your lies, the truer they become.]

Oh. Oh no.

——

Epilogue:

As dawn broke, Sige staggered from the tavern, bandits cheering.

Shanks (Whispering): “That ‘retirement’ line? Pure gold.”

Beckman: “Captain. Sixty Yonko. We need to—”

Shanks: “Nah. That heartbeat… hasn’t lied once.”

He grinned at the rising sun.

“Funny thing about legends… They outlive facts.”

Coda:

Far above Marineford, a seagull dropped a newspaper.

Headline: "EAST BLUE BANDIT TERRORIZES RED-HAIRED PIRATES! CLICK HERE FOR 56 YONKO THEORY!"

Sakazuki: …What.

Meanwhile, Sige: "Wait… why do I hear boss music?"