As the names "Red-Haired Shanks" and "Pirate King Roger" rolled off Sige’s tongue, the tavern fell deathly silent—save for the relentless THUD-THUD-THUD of the Emperor Engine. Even the air seemed to crystallize with shock.
Benn Beckman’s cigar hung limply from his lips. How does a nameless mountain bandit know Roger?!
For the East Blue—the weakest of seas—this revelation was absurd. For Shanks’ crew, it was existential whiplash.
Rookie Bandit Lackey No.5: “Wait… Boss is friends with the Pirate King?!”
Bandit No.3: “But he hates pirates! Said they’re ‘sewer rats with boats’ this morning!”
Skeptical Bandit: “And why’s his bounty only 8 million berries if he’s that connected?!”
Sweat.
Sige’s mental alarms blared. These idiots are unraveling my masterpiece!
Then—salvation.
Bald Bandit™ (Tearful): “I UNDERSTAND!”
All heads swiveled. The bald lackey knelt dramatically, fist over heart: “Of course Boss hid his past! Associating with Roger would’ve made him a Government target! He sacrificed glory to protect us… WAHAHA! Such nobility!”
He burst into ugly sobs. “Boss! I’ll follow you to Hell and back!”
Sige blinked. This guy’s delusions are… glorious.
Nodding solemnly, Sige lifted his ale. “Let the past rest.”
───
Shanks snorted, tension evaporating. “Roger’s buddy, huh? Then drinks are on me!”
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Crisis averted. For now.
As mugs clinked, Sige—fueled by liquid courage and KING’s unflappable poker face—descended into full bullsh*ttery:
“Shanks…” He sighed, gaze misty with fabricated nostalgia. “When I look at you… I see Roger’s shadow.”
Beckman’s eyebrow twitched. Shadow? Roger’d laugh his ass off at that.
Undeterred, Sige monologued:
“Oden… what a waste. Should’ve ruled Wano. Sigh.”
“Raleigh’s hiding in Sabaody? Clever… but I’ll never understand coating ships. Boring.”
The Red-Hairs exchanged glances. How does he know this?! Even Shanks leaned in.
Sige waved a dismissive hand. “And you Four Emperors… hah! Back in my day—”
Thud-THUD-THUD!
The Emperor Engine crescendoed as Sige’s alcohol-lubricated ego hit ludicrous speed:
“After Roger’s death? Chaos! Sixty would-be ‘emperors’ swarmed the seas! So I stepped in—”
He slammed his mug, sloshing ale.
“56—hic—FIFTY-SIX Shanks-level brats! Crushed! Red-Haired Shiki? Gone. ‘Demon Heir’ Douglas? Vaporized! Catarina ‘Crescent Moon’ Devon? Reduced to Moon Dust!”
Laughter died. The Emperor Engine’s tempo synced with the crew’s racing pulses.
Shanks: “…Wait, what?”
Sige (Oblivious): “Sixty Emperors? Hah! Without me? You’d be fighting Sixty Yonko, not four! ME! I saved you all from… from… hic… the paperwork!”
He collapsed onto the table, snoring.
───
Red-Hair Pirates, Brain.exe has stopped responding.
Yasopp: “…Is he drunk or…?”
Lucky Roo: “No one gets that drunk.”
Beckman: “Unless…”
He eyed Sige’s slack face, then the Emperor Engine now thrumming rhythmically—almost… lullaby-like.
“…Unless he’s so powerful, even blackout drunk, his Conqueror’s Haki runs on autopilot.”
A collective shiver.
Shanks (Grinning): “Man, I like him! MORE DRINKS!”
───
Meanwhile, in Sige’s Subconscious:
Wait—did I just claim to solo 56 Yonkos???
Abort! ABORT!
Why can’t I stop talking?!
KING’s passive: Never break character… even wasted?
SYSTEM!!!
[Ding! Sync Rate: 85% → 90%!]
[New Skill Unlocked: 「 Drunken Legend Mode」— Bullsh*t Amplifier +300%!]
Oh. Oh no.
[Sync Rate: 90% → 95%! (Fake it till you BECOME it!)]
…Someone burn the rum.