Family Fight

(Sam)

Spoiler :

Finally finished this chapter, one more chapter and it is back to other world.

Oh yeah before I forget Happy belated Easter and or Spring

As per what I have seen in the movies and TV when someone drops a conversation bomb, usually there is a few Moments of stunned silence, followed by angry pandemonium. That is people start yelling and screaming at each other over the dinner table maybe even waving their hands or going so far as to throw food in each other’s faces (usually some sort of cake or cream pie).

One time at one of my many casual ‘friends’ house, I saw a live episode of such domestic dramatic violence confirmed in reality, where one person got so angry about what the other said that they slapped them, and of course the other retaliated and they got into a hair and clothes pulling childish wrestling match.

But this isn’t the point, let me disappoint you right off the bat, it is nothing like that at our house.

It was silent for a brief time after I said this, but none of them were shocked, and thus the silence wasn’t a tense one but the usual calm lax one we usually had during meals, except for the occasional conversation that was usually started for the sake of politeness and or tradition, but although my comment was far from traditional, everyone continued to eat as if I had said nothing at all.

Though I say that it seemed like nothing happened, and that everyone was calm, at the time I imagined that it felt like the temperature had dropped a few degrees, particularly in the direction of my mother. And my mother was the first to speak, right after she had eaten the last bite of the food she and I had oh so carefully prepared.

“Are you sick, again?” she asked, almost hopefully.

“No” I said “I just don’t feel like going this time.”

“And why not?” She said in a flat voice but I fancied that I could hear at least a hint of anger in it.

“Mainly because I have been reading this book, and have just gotten to an exciting part and want to see what happens, but also partly because we have gone to that place for hiking a lot lately and it is my least favorite place.”

My mother pursed her lips in irritation, and didn’t say anything else but my Dad suddenly looked up from the meal he had seemingly been single mindedly focusing on to ask in a slightly accusing tone of voice.

“Did Ramona put you up to this? She did, didn’t she? What did she do to get you to enable her bad behavior?”

He turned to glare at my ‘deeda’.

I sighed in exasperation, and turned to face her as well, knowing her a bit better know it didn’t surprise me to see a small smile of face. I have heard my father accuse that smile of being a smug selfish one in the past but to me it looked like one that resulted from her usual coping method of finding the accusation funny rather than letting herself be hurt by it.

Seeing me look at her Ramona’s smile increased a little bit and she raised an eyebrow suggestively in a silent question that I could almost hear. And suddenly I went from feeling a mix of pity and admiration (the former sadly more than the latter) for her plus a bit of sad sick disappointment in my father’s behavior to struggling and straining myself not to laugh.

Ever since my sister and I had become ‘friends’ of a sort, she had started to share jokes with me that only the two of us could get, and her sharing her opinion of the ridiculousness of my father’s attitude was one of them.

I covered my mouth and pretended to cough to hide my laugh and then forcing myself back to focusing on the potential seriousness of the subject I quickly replied to my father.

“No, Ro has had nothing to do with my decision, you know, I have never really fun most of the trips that fun, especially because we do them so often that the novelty has long worn off. This time I just have a reason not to go.”

My mother smiled a sly smile and looked at Lucy who quickly got a grin to match our Mom’s then asked in a sweet voice.

“Can’t you just come with us like always? You can always read your book later, aren’t you being selfish? Just think about all the trouble Mom and Dad have gone through just to find the precious time in their busy schedules to be with us? Shouldn’t you be a little more grateful?”

I was a bit surprised, she was using the same tactic that she often used on Ramona to get her to do things she didn’t want to do. Making you feel guilty about not doing it, that is.

However I was not Ramona, and I was so often the neutral harmless party in our family’s conflicts that the manipulative b****h probably didn’t really have much knowledge of my weaknesses. And unlike Ramona, sensitivity or empathy to others feelings wasn’t one of them.

For me kindness, and caring was always a conscious choice that I usually made after a lot of thinking and debating with myself, I didn’t ever do anything purely out of emotion. Differently from my surprisingly selfless deeda I could be selfish when I wanted to and I didn’t even feel that guilty about it.

“Actually I cannot ‘always’ read my book later. The weekends are my vacation from school and although I have cut back a lot this semester I still have plenty of homework, so if I don’t read it now I will probably end up having to keep putting off until I forget what I have read and have to reread it from the beginning.”

“Besides” I concluded with the sweetest smile I could muster “I have been in a bad mood lately and I don’t think I am the best company for Mom and Dad to waste their ‘precious’ time with.”

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I inwardly high-fived myself when I saw my oldest sister’s expression briefly turn ugly before reverting back to its usual fake pretty smile, that didn’t ever reach her calculating eyes which were now glaring at me as I had not only held my own in that round but even perhaps even won, as I had used her own arguments against her, and made it difficult for her to retort.

However I and Ramona gave her the secret nickname of ‘Devil’ for a reason, she quickly tried for a counter attack.

“Now that you mention cutting back, I just remembered something. Last week I heard from an older sister of one of your old team mates that you had told the coach that you probably wouldn’t be signing up for track again this semester, is that true?”

The sly smile was back and this time she looked casually in the direction of our father, expecting his inadvertent assistance, as nothing riled our old man up more than someone who wasn’t trying their best to succeed, and he was someone that thought that participation in sports, no matter what the kind was always a good indication for the existence of the fulfilment of that philosophy of success.

But I had already been at least half expecting that sort of tactic and thus was quite prepared to nullify it before it could set off any sparks with our father.

“Thank you for your concern, but the reason I had signed up for track in the first place was because I had wanted to exercise and I wanted to experience the good fellowship and enjoyment that comes from participating in sports.

However the hospital gives you a lot of time for reflection and I realized not long after my…accident, that track was no longer meeting those objectives.

First of all, our school’s track program is quite challenging, we spend so much time training for meets that you never really have time for conversation let alone being able to work at forming relationships with the other runners.

Second of all, even though I say that I have cut back I still have plenty of classes and activities to keep me busy. To be truthful, my past schedule was completely extreme and overwhelming, that I am beginning to think that the reason for my extended hospital stay perhaps even a large portion of it was because I was so near to burning out before I had the accident.

And so I decided that it would be best for my health that I exercise more casually for health and recreation instead of the major training and commitment that is required in sports. In conclusion my heart wasn’t totally in it, and felt that not doing it at all was better than doing it but not giving it all the focus and commitment it required to do it seriously.

Besides, now that I have more free time I can focus more on our family… “(read do more chores and have more time to help around the house) “…as well as work on increasing the likely hood to gain more friends at school“

I didn’t look at my oldest sister but if I had to guess then I would say the ugly look that had marred her face in the past was probably back with a vengeance. Not only I had I quickly nipped her thoughts of finding a supporter in our father in the bud, I had also laid a great deal of groundwork in alieving many potential concerns of both my parents.

So except for a few token questions there wasn’t really any arguments after that, and after everybody seeming to give their approval and input to my plan, (though I could see Lucy’s hand clenching so hard on her silverware that her skin turned white,  as she said her empty compliment) except for Ramona, at least not out loud.

Though that was probably a good thing, for if she had it probably would have brought back the ridiculous, though admittingly in a way at least partially true, theory of Ramona being behind the reason for my change in behavior.

Though I myself highly doubt, her reason to spend time with me and encourage me to consume entertainment value media for fun was just to have someone else in the family refuse to go on the hiking trips and instead stay home with her.

Things went mostly back to normal after this incident, with the exception that unlike before where I would mindlessly go to every single trip or activity my mom came up with, occasionally I would take a stand and refuse to go.

Lucy realized to her surprise after a few more attempts to get me in trouble that she was no match for me in the art of tongue and soon strangely started to go out of her way to avoid me, or if that was not possible give me the silent treatment and she encouraged our brother to do the same.

My brother being the weak willed man that he was would usually comply when he was in both our pretenses. However the rare times we met when she wasn’t there he would talk to me as usual. One time wanting my advice he had even sneaked into my room, and hid in my closet when my sister barged in looking for him.

Now and then when I spoke to him I would see, a sadness that I could easily understand and empathize with. For in the past, especially before the time our sister got jealous of our close relationship and started to monopolize him we had the closest relationship with each other, and I myself felt he was more of a best friend then a brother.

But now, with his strange loyalty to our sister pulling him away from me, and my own allegiance to our other sister, keeping me in place, we were starting have a growing space between us that I doubted we would ever fully get back.

Even if one day the impossible happened and he actually grew a spine, or maybe at least a pair of...well you get the idea.