Three locked doors. One key. It was a little before my time, but there used to be this old television show where a kid has to choose between three doors, and one of them is supposed to have a prize. I've heard there was an American version called Monty Hall, with, I think, a goat or a donkey on the other doors? But here in Brazil we had this bizarre children's show where one of the doors had a bike or some expensive toy, and the others had a huge hairy gorilla that would run after the child roaring and screaming while the host, that crazy weirdo Sérgio Mallandro, laughed and cheered. Obviously, it was a man in a gorilla costume, but I'm not sure that made it any less scary. I watched a few reruns of the show, I think, when I was a kid. It was called The Door of the Desperate, which, you have to admit, is metal as hell, for a children's game show.

This being a cruel dungeon where dying is par for the course, I bet there will be an actual monster behind the wrong doors. Or maybe even behind all of the doors. This is a dangerous game. I'd say I have to choose carefully, but truth is, with no information on any of the doors, the outcome might as well be random. I should just pick one of them randomly. The only meaningful choice I can make (hopefully) is to play or not to play.

Huh. Actually... maybe I should consider that option more carefully. These doors seem to be pretty reliably locked. I can just leave this as it is. Meanwhile, I can explore the rest of the dungeon at my leisure. In fact, I wonder if this key might open any other doors?

Turning my back to the three doors, I walk back to the locked door I passed on the corridor, and slip the glass key inside. It's kind of a weird choice, isn't it, to make a key out of glass? I turn it extremely carefully, worried that it will break. The lock offers no resistance, turning smoothly. I remove the key, and open the door.

Inside is a... what's this, a well lit room? I haven't seen one of this in days! There's a skylight in the ceiling, and I think that's actual sunlight coming in. Wow! I stare at it, blinking while my eyes adapt to the luminosity. This room is prettied up, with soft pink wallpaper on the three walls in front of me and to the sides. There's a white stone pedestal in the middle of the room, and on top of it, a vial of lime green liquid glimmering in the sunlight.

Ooooh yess is that a Mana Potion? For free, no strings attached? Maybe the trick to the Door of the Desperate was that there were in fact four doors, and you just had to pick the one out of the way. And I get the equivalent of a Level Up as a prize, how good is that?! Feeling very smart, I drink the sweet lemon juice-flavored liquid.

Instantly, something changes. I hear screeches from all around, and when I look up, I notice the pink walls have simply disappeared, expanding the room by a meter on each side, and there are at least a dozen rats spread out in the revealed space. I'm nearly surrounded.

At the same time, the potion starts making its effect. This is definitely not a Mana Potion. Instead of refreshing energy, I feel like a fire is spreading through my veins. My whole body is heating up, my heart beating faster, my airways opening. It feels like I'm high on adrenaline, perfectly warmed-up and fully rested, all at once. I feel like fucking Xena. Before the rats can take an action, I move towards the leftmost ones, ready to start the fight. I'm vibrating with energy and with glee at the prospect of fighting with my body. I don't even consider using my Mana Bolt. Where's the fun in that?! It's a good thing I have a very cool melee skill.

I've never moved this fast before. The rat is large and strong, but too slow to dodge my violent Mana Bonk. It tries to defend with its paws, and I hear them crushing when the staff hits. This one is out of the fight, for sure. I turn towards another rat next to it, smaller but faster. This one dodges my Bonk, but I release the Bolt and it sends the rat rolling to the other side of the room. A white rat the size of a pitbull tries to take the opportunity to scratch me, but I dodge its claws and counter with a punch to the shoulder. The rat whines with pain. Wow, I never punched anyone that hard! I might have dislocated its shoulder! I see another mid-sized rat running towards me and I rush to meet it with a soccer kick. The rat flies towards the wall.

"GO - Ah!", my celebration is cut short by a beagle-sized rat jumping towards my stomach. I block with my staff, and it holds onto it, making me stumble. Damn these grabby hands. I've accidentally moved backwards towards the pedestal, so I take the opportunity to smash the rat against the hard stone. The rat reflexively lets go of the staff, and I use a Mana Bolt to push it off. Two rats are approaching more carefully, wary of my staff. Time to try something cool! As I gather mana on my staff I see the rats tensing to dodge as soon as I shoot. I send the bolt slightly to the right of them, and just as they start to jump, I swing my hand to the left, causing the bolt to change direction abruptly and knock one rat on top of the other. Score! Haha! Fighting is great, I could do this all day!

"OUCH, what?!" A sudden pain in my calf interrupts my laughter, and before I know it I'm striking a bloody-mouthed rat with the tip of my staff. More rats take the chance to rush at me, and I swing at them, alternating kicks and Bonks without thinking, using my whole body and the environment when I can. At one point I see a rat jumping from the pedestal, aiming for my face, and I just headbutt it, earning a scratch in the ear and losing a few curls of hair before it's sent flying.

"Don't touch my hair, you sack of gutworms!"

I swing my staff around to Mana Bonk another rat. Behind me, I start hearing even more squeaks and screeches than before. More rats! I'll be fighting here all day indeed! Awesome!

Wait... Did I just think that? Awesome? Fighting rats. Hmm... A rat holds my leg, and I ignore it to swing my elbow at another rat that's jumping towards my chest. Holy cow, how did I do that? How am I doing any of this? I look around, finally fully realizing the situation I'm in.

It's bad. I'm in the worst possible place, right in the middle of the room, totally surrounded by giant rodents. I see rats knocked out or dead scattered around me, but that still leaves six giant rats in fighting condition. One of them is chewing on my left leg. Not my leg, again! I shoot it with a Mana Bolt, with great effect, but my mana muscles spasm in pain with the effort. How many bolts did I fire in quick succession? I have no idea.

As more of the rats attack me from every side, my brain is screaming one thing: GET OUT OF HERE. Reaching into my pocket, I unseal the scroll, and the white light distracts the rats just long enough for me to rush towards the open door. As soon as I'm out in the corridor I turn around and slam the door closed.

"SQUEE!"

What?! I turn swinging towards the screech, and manage to hit the giant rat with the staff before it bites me. Did you come through the door behind me without me seeing you?! The rat bites my staff and wrestles me for it just like a dog would. Ah, if only I could blast a mana bolt in your mouth right now. Instead I kick its legs and pull the staff back when it yelps in pain. Then I swing the staff at its head again, and I hit it until it falls. Behind me, the rats locked inside the room are scratching the door. I use the glass key to lock it, and take a deep, painful breath.

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Damn it, I was stupid! How could I forget the potions change flavors? The last Mana Potion I had was grape flavored. For all I know, the flavors are entirely meaningless.

Several pages of floating parchment spawn in front of me. I dismiss them one by one, glancing at the contents: rat, rat, rat, rat, rat, rat, rat... Oh! Is this a Level Up?

The text seems similar to the previous Level Up message. The rewards are also similar: four of them are the same, and in place of the curving bolt, there is some kind of staff. That potion that I think is a healing potion is really tempting, in my current battered state. But... can I trust it's a healing potion? If I accidentally get myself into another berserk-state like the one I just had, I might do something even more stupid than trying to fight a room full of monsters with no strategy. Yeah, no drinking random potions for me, for the foreseeable future.

I pick the Mana Potion for three reasons. One, it's reliable. Two, I really wanna know if it's gonna come in the same flavour as the previous one, or a random one. Three, right now I literally couldn't use a Mana Bolt to save my life. My mana muscles are aching. It's a really weird feeling.

The parchment dissolves in a bright light, and a vial of grape-juice is pushed onto my hands. That's two grape flavoured Mana Potions in a row for one run. I still need to test it further. I drink the potion, and gasp in relief as the soothing sensation spreads through my body. The ache disappears completely, and I feel ready to cast as many bolts as I want. On the other hand, the many many scratches and bites in my skin seem to hurt more now that I don't have mana exhaustion distracting me. What I really want right now is to find the Spitting Rat again. I think back to the room I just left. There were no doors out of there, that I'm sure about. But I think I might have seen a chest next to the far wall. Some kind of reward if I manage to kill all the rats? That would be pretty neat. If only I can survive a five-on-one fight.

I turn my attention to the remaining notifications. Ok, rat... wait, this isn't the usual "you killed a rat" notification. It has the picture of a rat, but I think the text is different... Moreover, instead of the usual "accept" button it has a glowing picture in it, of a closed chest. I touch the chest picture, and the parchment dissolves in light. The light pushes a small chest into my hands, then vanishes. Am I getting an extra reward of some kind, is that it?

The chest is very simple, made of wood, with a piece of wood that fits in a strip of leather to hold the lid closed. The kind of chest that you use to keep things tidy and out of sight, but not particularly safe. I open it, and find a pair of grey fur gloves. They have a lining of bone and sharp teeth protruding from the knuckles, which look like it would make a punch rather more deadly. It also stinks like a rat.

Wait, is it rat? Am I getting a reward made of rat parts for having killed a bunch of rats? This is totally disgusting. I immediately put them on. They fit nicely, and don't restrict finger movement too much. I'm not doing anything that requires fine manipulation, anyway.

The two remaining parchments are just rat kill notifications. I close them, and stop to reconsider my status.

Health: not great. Scratches all over. My left leg is in terrible pain from being bitten. My cheek is bleeding and swollen. But I can still use everything. Overall, I was lucky.

Clothes: getting really torn. My hoodie protected me from a lot of scratches, and now I look very punk, if you catch my drift. No, wait, punks were more about torn jeans, who used torn molettom fleece? Am I some kind of punk emo hybrid? Anyway this thing is falling apart. I've lost both my havaianas, too. If this keeps up, I'm gonna wind up fighting rats in the nude.

Staff: looks fine, except for a few bite marks and a small crack. I think it will hold up, as long as I keep using Mana Bonk instead of just "bonk". I'm pretty sure the mana keeps the staff from breaking no matter how hard I hit it on the rat's skulls.

Mana: great. Full. Refreshed. I feel a little hyper actually. Did the second potion actually increase my mana capacity? Not sure.

Equipment: out of potions and scrolls. I have biscuits and food, but I'm not really hungry.

I grab a biscuit, more out of curiosity than hunger. I've been walking around with this heavy bag, but haven't tried its contents yet. The biscuit is simple, mostly oats, not very sweet. Before I know it I've eaten the whole package. I guess I was kinda hungry after all? Next I grab the other food package. I unwrap up, revealing what looks like a pie of cooked grains of some kind. It doesn't smell very good, but what does, in this place? I don't feel very inclined to eat it, but I get an idea.

Maybe giant rats will be interested.

It's a bit risky, but I'm high on mana and low on everything else, and I wanna know what's in that chest. I unlock the door as quietly as I can, and open it just a bit to look inside. The five rats are busy chewing dead rats, occasionally screeching at each other. I doubt they enjoy being locked in with only rat corpses, though.

How well this is gonna go depends only on how stupid these guys are. Let's hope it's "very". I rewrap the food and throw it across the room. When it lands near a wall, the rats perk up and run to check it out with excited squeaks. As soon as they get there, they start screeching and slapping each other, fighting for the food. This is great! I sneak into the room, taking advantage of the rats' distraction to get as far as I can, with a corner behind my back. I hold my staff in my right hand and my backpack in the left arm. I figure it will serve as a makeshift shield.

The rats are still fighting over the food, so I aim my first Mana Bolt at the nearest one, who is with my back to me, standing up to scratch at another rat. Critical hit! The Bolt smashes the rat's skull and sends it stumbling over its opponent. The other rats squeal in surprise and turn their heads to me, with mouths and paws full of food. Lol. They have a moment of hesitation, and I send another Bolt after the first, hitting the same rat again. Now they all abandon their rivalry and join ranks to come at me. But I'm on the other side of the room, so I have the time to shoot another Bolt at the smallest rat before the others get to me. The rat is sent flying, and an instant later I'm defending from a jumping rat with my arm inside my bag. The rat claws and bites, but doesn't penetrate the leather. Nice! Of course, the second rat goes for my legs. Not so nice! With the weight of the rat on my arm I end up lowering it, and the rat tries to climb over my arm to scratch my face. Agh, not again! I defend with my staff, and shoot a Mana Bolt at point blank. The rat falls down, stunned. The third rat jumps towards my stomach, and acting on reflexes I punch it down. With my new gloves, the punch has a lot more, er, punch to it, and the rat is bleeding. I wanna kick it away but I can't, not with a rat still holding onto my legs. Instead I hit it with a mana bolt, curved to send it flying towards the fourth rat, who has recovered from my hit. The fourth rat narrowly dodges and comes next to the stunned rat, and starts shaking it. Cute. I move my staff to attack them and they both jump at me. Fuck! I block with my bag again and shoot a mana bolt at them, catching one in mid air. The other hits my arm, and drops back to the floor, hissing. Now it's just this one and the one biting my leg. I throw the bag at it, and while it's distracted I turn to send a Mana Bolt to the one on my leg. It squeals and lets go, but too late: the bolt catches it in the face. With my leg free I have a little more mobility. When the two rats attack me again, I manage to punch one and knee the other, the adrenaline letting me ignore the pain. I send a last Mana Bolt to knock them back, and then they stop moving.

Hah. Hahahah! I did it! Five rats at once, and I was sober! Sure, my legs are both kinda chewed on, but now I know it's possible. And also, didn't I send a lot more Mana Bolts than I could before? It was like, seven or eight of them without a rest! And! Now I can finally check out that chest.

It's a much larger chest than the one I got from the floating parchments. You could probably fit a small child in it, or a dog. Or one of those giant rats. Hm. I unlatch the lid, and open it with my staff ready to shoot if needs be.