I was laying down beneath my drawing table today, cramped with arms around my knees as they pressed up against my chest. I’d spent so much time doodling that I’d never really made an attempt to actually draw anything and…

“And all I got was this guy,” I looked down at the half-crumpled piece of paper. It was a ridiculous design, nothing about looking awe-inspiring or anything.

It looked like a giant plastic cup, with a wicked serrated straw poking out of the top of its flat head. It had this delicious-looking rainbow design and had stubby arms and legs that really couldn’t fight at all. I mean, if this guy was ever in a fight, he’d be shooting people with flavored ice, not doing karate.

I smiled, a little amused at the thought of this guy ever actually being in a fight. “If that drink is as good as the one I tasted, he’d probably get tons of people addicted.”

Champions would probably let themselves get hit just to get another taste of that rainbow blast and then, when they least expected it, the brain freeze would hit them! Putting an end to their heroism and freezing them in place forever!

I almost wanted to laugh!

And then I remembered how ridiculous this guy looked.

“Overlord would think I’m going insane if he saw this guy,” I let out a breath of air, balling up even more as I imagined him pulsing with a disgusted green. “Maybe he’s not wrong? I feel like I’m insane half the time these days.”

And I was really thirsty after designing Brainblitz, and unsurprisingly my mind kept going back to the drink that inspired this waste of time. I could always send my monsters, but it was only a couple blocks away, I really didn’t need Champions in this part of the city looking for trouble.

I began the slow process of unfurling out from underneath my drawing desk, considering my options. I could always give Charlotte money to go get me one, but that would require me to speak with her and, uh, I…didn’t want to.

Or at least, well, more aptly, I wasn’t sure how. It wasn’t like I was scared of knocking on my neighbor’s door or leaving my apartment. At least, not overly so. There were very real threats outside and one had to be aware of them.

“What if I made a monster that looked like me,” I began trying to figure out where I was going with this as I said the words out loud, “and sent her to go get the drink instead?”

It felt like a lot of moving parts for a single drink and then the question came of what I would actually draw. Did I just draw myself? I wasn’t so great at drawing people, normal hands were hard. Maybe I just drew a formless blob that could shift its form? I've gotten pretty good at drawing formless blobs over the last few months.

Maybe that was my new niche, drawing monsters that could transform into actually impressive designs on their own without me there to fuck them up.

“Ugh,” I sat down on the stairs, only halfway down. I really wanted a rainbow blitz right now, just so I could drown my sorrows in prismatic sugary goodness.

A loud thunk of a knock came at my door, making me blink. Charlotte? Oh hell yes! If she came to me about wanting to do something I could get her to go get a drink for me!

“Charlotte, I will be glad for your company just this once,” I said as I began to pick myself up and toddle down the stairs, trying to smooth out my hair and shirt as I readied myself to open up the door. I was nervous, but all I needed to do was open the door and say a few words.

Easy peasy, nothing to worry about. Charlotte had proved that she would, at the very least, not attack me on sight. Another loud thunk came at the door, making me jump a bit. Charlotte, uh, sure was aggressive with her knocks today.

“I’m coming,” I tried to yell out to her, hoping she’d calm down. That knock had kind of broken the little confidence I had, but I’d…well, I’d try anyway.

Walking up to the door, feeling a little mechanical in my steps, I opened the door and closed my eyes, “Hi Charlotte, I want a rainbow blitz!”

“Who the hell is Charlotte?”

The voice was gruff, gravelly, and definitely not Charlotte. I opened my eyes, and to my horror, that fact was confirmed doubly over as I took in the hulking man before me.

Towering over me in a white tee that stretched over his biceps and pecs, the tanned man looked down at me with a confused look in his bright green eyes. With a scar that ran down over his nose to his mouth and a box of some kind in his arms, I…I wasn’t sure…

Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.

“You’re not…Charlotte.” I wanted to cry. I could never live with myself if I did that though, so I only thought about doing it.

The man grumbled, “I’m not a rainbow whatever, either. My name’s George.”

I stared up at him, unsure of how to even respond. I’d opened my door for this stranger and I was terrified that he’d come inside. My Silent Knights, I needed to go get my Silent Knights. They’d kill this guy quickly and I’d never have to think about this again.

“Look,” he continued, unaware of how long he had left to breathe air in my doorway, “I’m sorry to bother you, but my work has called me out and my usual dogsitter is sick. Could you look after him for me for a few hours until I get back?”

I blinked. A dog…sitter? A dog? I would sit on dogs? No, wait, I would look after his dog. A dog would be in my room, my apartment. One that, given the size of this man, could probably eat me. Dogs and owners often looked alike, I’d once heard that from Beastzerker, a lion tamer gone mad with power after learning he could incite animals into a rage.

“Ok,” wait, who just answered that? “I’ll look after your dog.”

That was my voice, but what was I doing answering? Had my body simply taken the reigns again while my mind was rebooting? Why was my body being so altruistic!? Slam the door! Wait, no, don’t slam the door! He’ll eat it! He’ll eat the door and then attack me!

“Thanks, I hate leaving him at my place alone. He makes a mess of things,” he then handed the box he was holding over, which I distantly recognized as some sort of carrying case with a handle poking out of the top of it.

I took it from him, feeling the weight of it and I wondered distantly how he had fit a huge dog into this small box. “Uh, yeah, ok.”

Distantly, I conceded that my place was already a mess. A dog couldn’t do anymore damage than I had after living here for a little over a week. I looked up to ask any questions, but he was gone, nowhere in the hallways either.

How…long had I been standing here in the doorway after he left? Had he been in a rush? He said something about work right?

“Ok,” I closed the door, my thirst forgotten. I was dogsitting now?

----------------------------------------

“Ok, now, open it,” I was standing behind two of my Silent Knights as another one, a couple paces away, bent down to slowly unhook the carrier door on the dog box. “Slowly! Slowly! Do we have the food prepared!?”

Another Silent Knight was holding a half-eaten chicken leg, holding it up to show that, yes, the offering had been found from my breakfast this morning and would be thrown to the beast that came out. I’d heard a yelp come from the box a few minutes ago, so I wasn’t sure how happy it was going to be as it came out.

An angry dog was a violent thing.

And while I had no doubt that my Silent Knights could kill it, after some careful thought, I realized that if I killed the dog, then I’d have to kill the man as well, and that would probably lead to a domino scenario of killing that would lead to Charlotte needing to die as well.

“And if she dies,” I said, watching the dog box slowly get opened, “I’ll have to go get the rainbow blitz myself.”

And that was too much of a nuisance to even consider.

My thoughts were halted as I refocused on the Silent Knight releasing the lock mechanism that kept the box closed. “Ok, it’s open, now-Eep!”

A blur suddenly erupted from the box, all of my Silent Knights beginning to throw themselves after it and missing it every time, bulldozing into various bits of furniture as they threw themselves at it. I fell backwards as the blur leapt at me, closing my eyes and sending out a silent goodbye to Dad, hoping he’d find a good daughter to replace me, before waiting for death.

And continuing to wait for it. I could feel the weight on my chest, my back on the floor. I could feel the heat of the thing inches from my face and neck. Was it…was it going to make me suffer? Where had the offering gone?

“Bork,” the dog threatened me before a soft, warm wet tongue slid across my cheek and began attacking me, licking me all across my face.

I sputtered at the embarrassment, finally gathering the courage to toss it off me, “I, buh, you! What is this thing doing!? Get away from me!”

The dog, a brilliant blonde looking golden retriever, seemed to take my assault as some kind of game, the nerve, and yapped at me! Like the terrible monster of material flesh that he was, he seemed apt to push and prod at me and get close in anyway possible!

Not to mention all the sniffing! Stop sniffing around! I tried to yank him away from some remnants of food that’d gotten knocked to the ground, my place doesn’t smell that bad and I won’t have some mutt mocking me! Not with those adorable blue eyes!

Rolling over from my desperate yank, the dog quickly righted itself and ran straight at me and nuzzled viciously into my arms and threatened to tear at my skin with his adorable little claws and…and…

“Aw, who's a good little puppy,” I said, bringing the little guy into my lap as I began to feel his infectious heat and excitement begin to infect me like some kind of virulent disease of cuteness. “You are, you’re a good puppy, yes you are!”

With a thoughtless wave, I motioned for all of the Silent Knights to stand down as I took a moment to enjoy myself, feeling the world fade away a bit as I simply enjoyed the way the little guy gnawed at my arm harmlessly. For all the danger the world held, this guy was just too cute.

A triple set of quick paced knocks came from the door, making me start as I held the dog in my arms, looking up with a bit of shock. “No, no, he can’t be back that soon, I just…”

Not that I wanted to keep the dog any longer than I had to, he was just a little warm bag of cute flesh and bones. Nothing that I held any real love for.

“Juliet!? I heard a bunch of yelling and a lot of real louds sounds! Are you ok!? Juliet!?” Charlotte’s voice echoed through my door and I felt relieved, the dog licking my cheek again. Only because now I could get a rainbow blitz, of course.

And only because of that.