“No,” I said, throwing another balled up piece of paper behind me. The legs had come out all messed up and the eyes were basically crossed.

And I didn’t have it in me to go to the trouble of trying to make it all work, the idea wasn’t even that good. It’d been a week since my ‘vacation’ had begun and I wasn’t any farther along in getting out of this slump.

After countless hours of watching some sort of asian drama on Thespian Network, I’d taken a break from doing nothing after my channel got forcefully redirected to Eyedol’s next big concert. Once upon a time, I’d drawn that one-eyed popstar some back up dancers, but honestly, she was my least favorite recruit in the past few months.

Unfortunately, the Thespian Champions weren’t exactly keen to do her in for whatever reason. Maybe because she was like the most lackluster enemy they’d had yet? For a member of the Armageddon Alliance, she was less about mass destruction and more about making people go deaf with her singing.

She definitely didn’t match up to Dischord, now that guy knew how to rock a stage while destroying the world. Unfortunately, he was sealed inside of his own guitar now, locked away in the Champions’ vault.

Better than being dead? Maybe. If the alliance ever figured out how to break into it.

I shook my head, “I need to stop thinking about this. As it is, I’m not gonna be able to help with that anyway.”

My bedroom was a mess now, covered in failed attempts and takeout boxes. I’d pick it up, or I’d have my Silent Knights clean up, but if I did that then I’d be admitting defeat. I would make a new monster specifically for cleaning or, so help me, I’d explode!

It shouldn’t even be that hard! Vackal should be an easy design! Just a small, bipedal little dog with a vacuum like mouth and…and some metal pieces around and…

I groaned. This was hell. And I was getting hungry as well.

“Maybe,” I said, looking towards the curtains of my window, “I should go outside?”

The thought sent a small shiver of fear through me, at just the idea. Then the fear of what might happen if I left the safety of my studio apartment also got to me. I was afforded some anonymity here in my room, but…but if I left…

“I could always wear a disguise,” I tried to convince myself, not that the Champions should really know what I looked like anyway. I’d never fought them up close and personal before.

As long as I didn’t bring any of my monsters…ugh, that was even worse. None of my monsters? How would I even get around!? And who would protect me from all of the cars and people? Nothing was more terrifying than a car barrelling straight towards you with no intention to stop.

Except for people, people were far worse.

A part of me that I hated had the bright idea of making a monster that could fit in. I hated it, because that part of me didn’t seem to acknowledge that I wouldn’t need to go outside and find…inspiration if I could pull off that kind of shit.

Throwing away another paper, I hadn’t even drawn anything on it yet, I just knew it’d suck if I used that piece of paper, I was ready to call it quits and just lay down in bed, before a trio of sharp knocks came from the door downstairs.

I tensed, before a familiar voice echoed through it and into the apartment.

“Juliet! It’s me, Charlotte! Are you in there?” The words were bright and stood at odds with the just the general dourness of my apartment. I drew better in dim lighting, ok?

Still, I was tense. Charlotte had been coming by for the last few days, demanding her plastic container back. She was relentless, badgering me to return her gift. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure what to do with it after eating the, admittedly delicious, cookies.

However, demanding I give it back? She was a shit person.

“It’s a beautiful day outside, Juliet! Are you in there?” She was mocking me now, like I didn’t know how bright and horrid it was. I knew it was morning, at least, the last time I checked.

Maybe I should have my Silent Knights go outside and deal with her. They were dumb, but Charlotte was just a civilian, she wouldn’t stand a chance. And then I’d finally have the peace and quiet I needed to properly vacation and get back to drawing correctly.

No, no, if I did that then people would notice. Swirlyeyes was a busy member of the Armageddon Alliance, he had better things to do then wiping away the traces of some random girl. Maybe if I could draw a monster that…

“Fuck,” I stood up, beginning to head downstairs. I’d taken a shower earlier, mostly hoping that the hot water would snap me out of my funk, so I looked a little more, uh, prepared to see people.

Shooing away the Silent Knights away from the door so they wouldn’t be seen, I approached cautiously, opening the door just a crack. “Hello?”

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

Charlotte blinked, today in a loose pink sweater and long jeans, before she lit up like a lightbulb. “You actually came to the door! I thought you might’ve gotten hurt or something, I haven’t noticed you leave in days!”

“You’ve,” I tried to tamp down on the suspicion and instant aggression I was feeling, “been watching me?”

Maybe I really should have the Silent Knights deal with her, I didn’t need some civilian digging her nose into my business.

“Yep,” she said, tilting her head like I’d just asked a stupid question. I frowned, the crack on the door getting smaller as I pulled back into my apartment. I shouldn’t have answe-

“Wait, wait!” Charlotte pushed the door open slightly, making me instantly jump backwards and away from the door as it completely opened with no one there to stop it. “Oh, uh, sorry. Didn’t mean to spook you!”

She hadn’t taken a step into the apartment yet, but she was obviously taking in the parts of the room that she could see. Thankfully, the Silent Knights were out of the way, but I felt a familiar shame in my heart blossom as she took in all the bits of trash that were obvious.

A fucking civilian was making me feel shame, I couldn’t believe it. Had I really fallen so low? This was why Dad had sent me away, I was disgraceful. I wasn’t going to let this bitch get away with this though, it was time for my Silent Knights to-

“Hey, so, do you want to go out for a walk with me?” Charlotte asked, looking kind of embarrassed. “I have some shopping I need to do, but I get lost sometimes and having company would be nice if I get home late.”

“Get home late? It’s morning.” How long did she plan on shopping for, what could possibly take that long-

Charlotte shook her head, “It’s the afternoon, silly!”

Oh damn.

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The shock of time having flown by so fast must have been why I said yes to joining Charlotte out for a walk. It was honestly a bad decision, I’d readily admit, as I threw up in a trashcan on the sidewalk.

“Blurgh,” I felt my stomach rumble angrily as I spilled all of my precious breakfast into the horrible smelling bin. “It’s too much…I want to go home.”

Charlotte’s hand on my shoulder was a slight comfort, a testament to how horrible I felt right now. I didn’t dare look up, through, or around. I kept my gaze down, feeling a horrible chill down my spine at just the thought of what I’d see.

A wide open world, an open sky, dangers around every corner, people walking by with horrible glints in their eyes, everything and anything that could come from anywhere and kill me. I could practically hear the Champions on their way.

“Hey, hey,” my neighbor rubbed my back, “are you going to be ok? Are you sick? Oh my God, did I force a sick person out of her apartment!?”

“I’m not, ugh, sick,” I said, definitely not whining, “I just, I hate the city.”

New Boston was a big city, one of the biggest in this region, but damn if I didn’t hate how every single one of these grand cities thought it was a great and perfectly normal idea to have huge towering skyscrapers all over the place. They could fall, you know!?

Charlotte, fortunately, didn’t say anything more to that, simply pulling me away from the bin and honestly helping me over to a nice place for shade. We were only a couple of blocks from the apartment complex, but I…I couldn’t hold it any longer.

Being outside just made me way too dizzy, I felt too exposed, “I…you’re gonna have to go on without me. I’m going home.”

Walking outside with no monsters anywhere was a nightmare, not even with a couple old designs stored in my backpack. It wasn’t the same as having them walking alongside me, terrifying any dangers away and clearing the streets of people.

I didn’t even notice Charlotte leaving my side for a moment, before reappearing with a colorful drink in a plastic cup. I took it, sniffing it for poisons, before looking at her. “What is this?”

“A rainbow blitz,” Charlotte pointed over and I hesitantly followed her finger over to a nearby window, just a few paces away from where we were, where the words Kool Breeze Drinks were emblazoned proudly in emerald and gold lettering. “I thought it might help with the upset stomach.”

“I doubt that,” I said, taking a sip of the drink. It was a stupid name for a drink any…anyway…I pulled back from the straw, blinking stupidly.

And then I went down for another slurp, drinking as quickly as I could at the most tasty, rainbow-y flavor of cool icy goodness I had ever drank, “Mmm!”

“Woh, woh!” Charlotte pulled me off the drink, getting a stink eye for her trouble. “You’re gonna get a real bad brain freeze if you go at it like that!”

I pulled away, struggling out of her arms and returning to sucking down the drink and feeling the explosion of flavor once again echo around in my head. “I can take a brain freeze, how bad could-”

Pain erupted in the roof of my mouth, branching out to the rest of my head as I felt my entire form close up. Was this poison? Had I been poisoned? Or was this-?

“Oh no!” Charlotte gasped, echoing the words that had yet to thaw inside my frozen head. “It’s the brain freeze!”

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An hour later, I was back in my room, all of my rainbow blitz inhaled at a more moderate speed. Charlotte had escorted me back to my apartment after seeing how…poorly I did with the outside, but I, well, I appreciated it.

Of course, one of my Doormen could have done a better job of getting me places, but between listening to the white noise of Charlotte talking about everything and nothing at the same time and enjoying my drink, I’d managed to get back without making another mess of things.

“And now I’m back to where I started,” I muttered, looking around the room. Dim, dirty, and nowhere closer to figuring out an answer to my problems.

In hindsight, going out with Charlotte had been a mistake. One, a stranger was just a danger you hadn’t dealt with yet, and two, any time spent away from figuring out how to draw good again was time wasted.

And that brain freeze, ugh. I’d made monsters that could lace the minds and hearts of Champions with fear and despair and that brain freeze still managed to feel overly cruel. Now, if I had a monster made out of something like that…

“And that rainbow color sure was beautiful,” I mumbled to myself, beginning to feel a strangeness building in my chest.

Maybe I could waste a little more time for a little doodling. Just to warm up before I got back to seriously drawing my way out of this funk I’d been in.