In the end, the world became a place he wanted to run away from.

Time passed by and a college student was sleeping on the second floor room of his mother's house.

Ti-ring..

"Announcement, the passing grade is (3). (3.1) and below are considered failed..."

His eyes opened up at the sudden notification coming from his phone.

With blurry and foggy vision, he squinted his eyes and anxiously read the notice.

Tap, tap, tap.

Hurried scrolling and tapping could be heard coming from his phone's screen.

[3.4]

[4.0]

[4.5]

[4.9]

.....

"..."

He turned it off as soon as he read his dismal grades and lied back on the bed.

The room was dark and gloomy even though the sunlight was already barging on his windows. Unfortunately, the windows was covered by thick black curtains, unmoving, even when the wind blew.

"I wish I could just sleep forever and not wake up anymore."

When he was about to close his eyes, he was jolted awake from the shrill noise coming from below.

"Get down here! Take your breakfast already, are you going to sleep until noon again?"

"..."

He gloomily stood up, fixed his bed, then went down with his forehead creased.

*

At the table, a mother and a young man was eating their breakfast.

He took a sip from the tea while chewing a bread in his mouth.

He languidly turned his gaze to his mother, who was calling out to him to pay attention.

"You remember Yun Hyun-Ae, the one who rented one of our rooms last three years? Her son and daugther are already earning decent salaries. How lucky she was to have a son and daughter like that, there was even a rumor that they were going to buy her a house and a car..."

"..." His face twitched while his eyelids drooped down, to the point that you couldn't even tell if he  was able to see from those narrow slit.

But his mother was oblivious to his reaction as she continued her usual monologue.

"His boy, named Yun Jeung-Sook, was earning money and was able to buy his own car as well when he was as young as you..."

Jeemin lowered his gaze and decided not to listen.

Her mother sighed and looked at her son.

"Why can't you be like that? You only holed up in your apartment and you don't even have friends in your university. How are you supposed to be successful?"

"..."

"Hey, are you listening?"

Jeemin lifted his head and languidly turned his eyes on her mother.

"I was listening. I'm into writing now, I don't think I can continue my course anymore. I even posted some chapters on—"

Bam!

She suddenly slammed her hands on the table and stood up angrily.

"What did you say?!"

"Tsk, can you just stop comparing me with other people? Is it that hard to understand that people are just different?"

"When you were still in highschool, you said it's easy and you can do it? And now you're saying you can't do it?"

He neither replied nor showed any expression.

"You're already a third year college student, my God! Look at our neighbor's son who took seaman's course, he was now able to provide money to his parents every month. If you're going to give up the course you chose in the first place, then why aren't you finding a job?"

She glared and pointed her finger on him.

"People at your age are already working part-time jobs. And you, what are you doing lazing around the house and apartment? You think the food you're eating now are free? Did you think I'm shitting money just to feed a dog?"

He answered with a flat voice, "I'm writing and I don't like blue-collar jobs."

Her mother frowned and angrily replied, "Everybody has to go through cleaning stuffs before they went successful! What's the point of feeding you? Remember the girl who was working at the convenience store years ago? She was able to buy her parents a house and pay for her siblings' tuition fees and..."

"I'm out of here." He stood up and walked towards the door leading outside.

"You...!"

"I know what you're going to say mother. I'm a useless and worthless adopted son. Just pin your hope on my younger brother."

"Yeah! You know what? I regretted adopting a piece of parasite like you. Good luck paying for your apartment next month, you worthless bastard. You even have the gall to talked back to me?! LEAVE!"

This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.

She was breathing heavily, gasping for breath as if to prepare for another batch of insults again.

Annnd, he was correct, just before his body was halfway out of the house...

"Don't you ever come back again if you're going to leave! You think you're going to earn money through writing? You're dreaming! Look at your hairs, you even look like an addict. I don't have a son like you..."

*

Jeemin ran.

He ran away as fast he can without glancing back to his mother who was fuming in anger while shouting at him.

Disrespectful. Unfilial. Ungrateful. Failure..

How many words did their neighbours hear when he went past their houses?

He was sure - everything. His skin crawled when he felt those sharp like dagger gazes.

After running for several minutes, his speed gradually decreased.

The heat coming from the morning light further made him uncomfortable as he gasped for air.

His lungs felt cold whe he forced himself to run because the people around him were giving him odd looks.

But were they actually paying attention to him?

He thought so.

Midway from his apartment, his legs gave up on him as he leaned on a wall and inhaled a mouthful of cold air.

When he tried to run again, his face contorted  from the sharp pain coming from his lower right abdomen.

He groaned as he trudged forward while he forcibly maintained a proper posture; afraid that the people around him would give him odd looks.

From the corner of his eyes, he saw several people walking to and fro wearing business attires; students happily chatting with each other; and couples clinging to each other.

His eyes were full of envy as he stole a glance at them.

"I wish I could just be one of them..." He muttered while increasing his pace.

*

Despite the glaring sun, his apartment was dark. His curtains which has alternated from light blue, light green, and other lively colours, was now color black.

His bedsheet cover was black, pillow cover was black, almost everything was black.

It was to the point that if he was allowed to paint the apartment's wall, he would also paint it with color black.

On the apartment's floor, there were several cans of beers rolling around; crumpled and torn papers with complicated writings, and books were scattered everywhere.

He gloomily kicked the books on the floor while taking the cigarette and lighter on the table beside his bed.

He was staring blankly at the mess in front of him while savouring the nicotine from the cigarette.

After sitting on the bed for several hours, in his smoke-filled room, he turned on his phone.

[191 Unopened Mails]

[Lin Feng, Hyun De-Rah, Lee Min...]

[Open Hyun De-Rah Message?](Y/N)

[Hyun De-Rah, message received few days ago]

[Hey man, it's been a long time. I don't know if you're going to read this since you haven't made any contact with us this past few years, but I just want to tell you. That cold girl - you know who I'm talking about - she got pregnant but she didn't know who the father was, because she went drinking with, I don't know, four to six guys?]

[Her sister, by the way, already broke off with Jake long time ago. I'm surprised you haven't made any move. You just became like a ghost, man. What happen to you? It's been years man.]

"..."

[Delete?](Y/N)

[Message deleted]

He sighed and lied down on the bed.

Smoke would come out from his mouth from time to time as the ceiling full of cobwebs was reflected from his eyes.

How many hours has passed by? 2 hours? 3 hours? He already lost his sense of time as he continued staring blankly at the ceiling.

Suffocating; he just felt suffocated for no physical reason.

'Haa.'

His heart was clenching in pain but his expression was blank.

From the moment she left him and said those parting words, "you're the worst," he concluded that changing personality again and again doesn't work; therefore, he stopped interacting with people altogether unless it was necessary. Considering his true personality, which he knew nothing about, was labeled worst.

Was it already dark outside? He didn't care.

The smoke lingered above his head as he exhaled.

*

Light illuminated his dark expression coming from the phone's screen.

[Congratulations for the new graduates...]

[Hyun De-Rah has become a popular streamer with 3,000,000 subscribers. He's young but was now able to earn enough money to buy his own house, a successful man indeed!]

[The population has increased again! Overpopulation has caused the competition in getting occupation fiercer, making it more difficult to find a job....]

His eyelids were drooped down as he read and scrolled the posts on his social app.

It was around 11 p.m that he finally stood up; he was hungry but he didn't care.

Standing in front of the mirror, a man gloomily looked back at him.

Stubby beard, disheveled hair, dark bags around his eyes...

"How... Just what happened to you..."

His hand stretched forward to the young man in front of him. He slowly fell to ground while his hand was on the mirror.

"Kuuhkkk uukkk."

One of his hand was covering his mouth as his eyes reddened from the horrible figure he was seeing staring at him from the mirror.

Beads of tears started to fall from his eyes.

After feeling the warm drops of tears on his face, he forcibly curled up his lips.

"It's fine. I'm perfectly fine... I'm okay. Are you okay?"

"Hey, I asked you a question, are you okay?"

The reflected figure on the mirror smiled with difficulty and nodded at him.

"I told you we're okay... I told you..."

He then opened his phone and muttered, "Look... We're going to be a successful writer, look at the reviews, look at them, there's a lot right?"

His eyes were blurry so he ended up not being to see what's on the phone, after wiping of the moist on his eyes...

[Reviews:

(1star)Tnhgd123: Every word is utter trash. Not originality.

(1star)Aesop25: Pacing is atrocious, writing is not for you.

(1star)Dan1453: I would give negative star if I could. It's dull, lifeless, and garbage.

(1star)Grey332: Trash, not recommended. Too slow. Side characters are bland...]

"..."

*

Lying on the bed, he was blankly reading novels that he have been reading these past few years: xianxia, wuxia, xuanhuan, isekai, and worlds with game system.

"I wish I can go to these worlds... How lively would that be..."

It was around 12 a.m. that he stopped reading novels on his phone.

He stood up and walked down to the basement of his apartment.

After switching on the light and seeing that the things are still there, he went back up.

He shaved his beard, took a bath, combed his hairs, and wore a black face mask.

At the mirror, a man gloomily looked back at him while his nose and mouth was covered by a mask.

He then went down the basement again and climbed on the chair.

There was a dangling rope attached to the ceiling and a loop at the end of it. 

He looked at it for awhile before wearing it on his neck.

It's rough textures normally felt uncomfortable, but strangely, he didn't find it so.

The phone in his hand displayed the dialed number of the police station with the accompanying note that he'll give away his organs after he died.

[I donate my corpse for medical students who needs to study it; my eyes, heart, liver, kidney, and everything in my body, hopefully, can be donated to those who needs it. I hope with this, I can contribute to the society in my own way.]

Beads of sweat trickled down from his forehead.   

How much time did he spend just standing on the chair?

He felt it was forever.

"I can't do this, I can't do that, and I don't even know who I really am. Hell, I can't even kill myself..."

He gritted his teeth and tightly clenched the phone in his hand.

But after several minutes has passed, he still couldn't take the last step.

*

It was a deep sigh that broke the quietness on the basement.

"Maybe it's not today again..." 

When he was about to take off the noose around his neck...

An invisible red orb shining in black suddenly appeared in the sky.

It rotated and shook violently like there was something inside it that wanted to break out.

Crack, crack, crack.

Numerous cracks appeared on its surface and red light immediately seeped out from the gaps.

The light enveloped the whole world momentarily before it gathered again to a point in the sky.

On its shiny surface, the cracks gradually disappeared but its surface was now black with red hue.

The moment its color changed, it immediately plunged down from the sky.

However, it was not actually falling on the ground, but was heading on Jeemin's apartment.

A ripple spread throughout the surface of the wall when the shiny black orb passed through.

The black orb only stopped violently when it reached in front of Jeemin's chest. 

He was completely unaware of the orb that was shaking violently in front of him.

When the black orb was finally able to move again, it entered his heart with difficulty. The orb was pushing through his chest but was being pulled back away from Jeemin's heart by an unusual force.

After the invisible tug of war ended, it finally was able to rest inside Jeemin's heart.

[Sigh]

A deep sigh came from the orb the moment it entered his heart.

But he wasn't able to hear it because at the same time the orb entered his heart; a wave of regret and despair, and powerlessness, engulfed his entire being.

With that filling his heart, he kicked the chair below him and closed his eyes.

The problem was, it wasn't what you can call, a peaceful death like he was expecting.

His face contorted in pain. His legs flailed nonstop. His arms which he forcibly suppressed from moving was grabbing the tightening noose. 

His eyes felt popping out of its sockets. His neck felt the burning pain from the tightening rope.

He supressed the faint feeling of regret the he hanged himself in the first as his fingers held on to the rope tied around his neck; and his head felt like it was going to explode from the inside.

How troublesome, even dying itself is too painful.

But no worries, this will be the last...

His final desperate action was curling his lips up as a relieved smile appeared on his struggling face; his eyes finally lost its luster; even the despairing smile lost its form and shape as eerie silence pervaded the room.

Now, the pain was truly gone. 

His dangling lifeless body swung back and forth inside the basement until it finally came to a stop.

Even my death is not dramatic huh..

He sighed but then..

"Hmm?!"

He was stunned after discovering he can actually see his entire body hanging on the ceiling in third person.

When he was about to examine his current state...

[You have been deemed qualified to enter Heaven/Hell with a mark of g] 

... a strange notice appeared on his mind and at the same time, his entire being was enveloped by a blinding light.