"The stars in the sky are as beautiful as you, your beauty is like—"

"Like what? Dead stars? You told me most of them are already dead." 

His eyebrows twitched as he replied, "Even the dead ones can be beautiful."

"Are you necrophiliac now?"

"..."

With a sigh he spoke again, "Can't you tell I'm complimenting you?"

"What's the point? It's over between us. How many times have you pushed me away, and now you're coming back acting like a child."

Her voice was cold and irritated as she continued, "Why don't you just grow up?"

"Shut up, you're the one who told me to be true to myself after I acted the ideal personalities you taught me about. Here, I brought some drinks."

He climbed up from the stone stairs, picked up two can of beers, and offered the other one to her.

"You...!"

His brows furrowed noticing that he was being refused.

"Take it. It's not like you're new to this."

She slapped the can of beer from his hand as it fell to the ground.

"Aren't you the one who told me to stop drinking?!"

Without paying attention to her, he indifferently picked up the fallen can of beer, dusted it, and offered the clean one on his hand.

When she was about to do the same thing again, he lifted the can of beer up and dodged her hand casually.

"Drink."

His gloomy eyes and disheveled hair was reflected in her eyes.

She felt angry and irritated, but at the same time, sad. Since when did you turn out like this?

"I'll reek of alcohol, if I went home tonight. My parents would suspect me again."

He snorted, "As if you weren't always like that in the past. I'm sure they are already used to it."

From the time they spent drinking together in the past months, she would occasionally mention about her problems at home, so he knew about her situation.

"You...!"

She tried to suppress her anger, but she shivered in disgust at him.

"How could you...."

"Am I wrong? You of all people should know that what I just said, is true.

Besides, they already view you as a promiscuous girl, it's never going to change, it wouldn't hurt to drink a couple of beers tonight, trust me."

Pak

The resounding slap disturbed the quietness of the night.

"How dare you... You were the one who told me to stop drinking, you—"

"Yeah, I was the one who told you to fix your image in front of your parents, relatives, and the people around you. I was the one who taught you knowledge beyond your comprehension."

"I taught you how to behave like a proper girl. I tutored you for a long time. I even fixed your mental problems. Don't you think you're going overboard? You repay everything with just this?"

"Just because you're having a happy life now and everything's going fine, you'll forget the things I've done for you. Or what, are you going back again chasing bad boys who'll just fuck around with you?!"

His veins popped out of his head as he continued while clenching the can of beer in his hand.

"You see I don't understand, you don't get fuck by nice people, but those people who don't give a fuck about you, are the people you allow to fuck you!"

She thought she went overboard as she was about to apologize for slapping him.

But what he just said made her nauseated as she felt a sense of disgust welling up in her stomach.

Seeing her not saying anything, he placed the can of beer on her hand.

"Drink."

When she was about to open her mouth to speak, he immediately cut her off, "Rather than running your mouth off, just drink the damn beer."

After saying that, he grabbed the scattered beers on the ground and sat near the river.

He opened the can of beer, gulped it down, and calmed himself.

'Ahh.'

Seeing her still transfixed on her position, he spoke with a pleading tone, "Don't do this to me. I might really kill myself right now."

She looked at him with disgust in her eyes but she didn't say anything.

The same man who made her a better person; the same man who comforted her without asking for anything in return; and most all, the same man who supported her when she was down alone.

"You and I both know no that matter what you do, how they view you wouldn't change so easily," he looked at her and added, "It's better to stop trying in the first place. I've lived my entire life doing that, so this is coming from..."

She couldn't hear him anymore as she was lost in thought.

The same man who encouraged her everyday and gave her hope that someday, her parents would view her in a different light...

Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

What happened to you?

When beads of tears was about to fall from her eyes, she lifted up her head to force it back.

"Admiring the stars now?"

Click... fzzz.

When he heard the she finally opened the can of beer, he felt a sense of triumph.

But it was short-lived when he discovered the reflection of moonlight sparkling from the drops of tears flowing down from her face.

She wiped the tears that she failed holding back and drank the beer in one go.

He averted his eyes from shame, because he didn't want her to see his guilty expression.

She sat beside him and picked another beer, glared at him, and gulped it down.

He couldn't help but quiver when he saw her drank the cans of beers one after another in one go.

"Slow do—"

He wasn't even able to finish what he was about to say when she opened another can of beer and gulped it down.

When he tried stopping her, she just flicked his hand away, then grabbed another can of beer beside him.

He shrunk down from the sudden change in her behaviour.

His eyes just watched her helplessly, silently drinking the can of beers he bought.

They sat their for a long time before she finally spoke again.

"You... I can't go home... Not like this."

Only then he noticed she was already drunk. Seeing her like her usual self, he couldn't resist the urge to bite her earlobes.

He went near her and stroke her earlobes gently, while gazing at her deep brown eyes.

His lips slowly went closer to her neck, as his breath tickled her.

When he was about to kiss her neck...

"You guys are all the same... Making me drunk then taking advantage of me..." She sobbed as she muttered those words.

He felt a drop of warm water on his face as he looked up.

His body shivered uncontrollably when he heard what she just said.

The denial that was about to come from his mouth was stuck on his throat when he realized, deep down, his true intentions.

When he felt disgusted at himself, he pulled away from her but was stopped when she wrapped her hands around him.

"I know... You're just using me...  To get near her... You like my sister... Don't you think I don't know that? Why is it she always get everything?"

Her tears flowed continuously as she cried.

"You're wrong... I... I..." He wanted to say something but he couldn't utter any words, not only he felt disgusted, but his supressed hatred towards himself choke him.

His hands could only stroke her back to calm her.

"Don't cry..."

"I remember when you... Told me to stop drinking... You even said that everybody will gradually treat me nicely.."

This wasn't supposed to happen, it should have been the opposite.

The wind blew as clouds begun to cover the sky, the light from the stars disappeared, and the moonlight alighting the river hid behind the clouds.

Seconds, minutes, hours... He didn't know how much time passed until she stopped crying.

He took a glance at her and discovered her eyelids were struggling to remain open. But she still had her cold look in her face even when she was dozing off.

After picking up the empty cans of beers and throwing them on the bin, he carried her on his back.

*

There was a figure carrying a girl on his back walking on the street that was empty and quiet.

As he was about to turn on the next street where her house was located, she suddenly spoke with worry behind him, "No... They'll see me drunk again.. at your apartment, it's fine.. let me sleep there."

A smile that was not a smile emerged from his lips as he turned back hurriedly and walked faster towards his apartment.

*

When they finally arrived at his apartment, he gently laid her down on the bed.

Click.

Dizziness struck him after he finished locking the door. He lost his balance and accidentally fell on the bed and his head fell directly beside her face.

He suddenly became lost and intoxicated from her warm body and fragrant scent coming from her.

Her chest, outlined by her pink clothes, became accentuated whenever she inhaled.

Those so-so size that he treated lighty now became something irresistible.

The cloth around the buttons in between her alluring chest would be stretched and loosed in synchrony with her breathing, making her soft twin peaks be pronounced from time to time.

Just by looking at it, you can feel its delicate softness and he, as a male, couldn't help but take a gulp.

His face was just one breath away from her ear, and whenever he exhaled from his nose, the air would lightly hit her earlobe.

The tension in his body increased, his breathing and heart rate became faster while his eyes was fixated on her lips.

When a bead of sweat trickled down from her forehead, and another wave of air hit her earlobe, she suddenly let out a moan.

"Ahhh..."

He lost control and immediately went to her neck as soon as she let out the moan.

His lips tenderly kissed her neck as he gradually went up and bit her earlobes gently.

"Ahhh..."

Her voice was like a switch that turned him on further. His heartbeat pounded faster as she kissed him back unconciously.

Their tongues played with each other like hungry beasts who haven't eaten for years.

His hands moved on their own and started unbuttoning her clothes. Her warm and soft body further intoxicated him.

She unconsciously wrapped her hands around his head and kissed him passionately.

But halfway through unbuttoning her clothes, he suddenly stopped.

He pulled away from her and shivered.

"What.."

He looked at both of his hands with a terrified gaze.

What the hell was I was just about to do?!

Looking at her going back to sleep like nothing happened, he immediately realized what was wrong.

She wasn't awake in the first place!

He was just taking advantage of her!

'No.'

He stood rooted feeling dirty as his eyes were blinking rapidly.

This is not who I am.

"It should.. the relationship... it should develop naturally. But.. this happened a lot of times with her and her other guys right?"

Why, why... why can't it happen to me too? Why can't I allow myself to do so?

Come on, move, just do it!

He urged his body to move, but he simply stood there with his face contorting from confusion, hesitation, disgust, and regret.

"Why can't I be like them?"

A drop of tear welled up from the corner of his eye when his mind was shouting at him not to do it.

It was wrong, simply wrong.

Just because she let others do it, it's doesn't mean you should do it.

He fell limply on the floor and held his head with both hands as tears from his eyes flowed nonstop.

"It's unfair... why am I like this..."

His head was buried on the bed near her, he tried reach to her, but he stopped halfway. He didn't know why, he just stopped himself, because... he knew...

"...it was wrong."

His muffled wail, with his head buried deep on the bed, resounded in his apartment.

"AHHHH! Just what is wrong with me?!"

His scream was soft because it was muffled by the bed, but it couldn't hide the despair coming from the voice.

*

In the pure dark world, a sharp object hit his head.

When his eyes suddenly opened from the pain, another object was flying towards him.

"What the fu—" He reflexively dodged it and asked in surprise.

"You...!"

Another object flew at him, but this time he was prepared and immediately caught it on his hand.

When his mind gradually became clear, he was greeted by her face contorting in anger. 

He walked closer to her and asked.

"What's wrong with you?"

Unfortunately, he was met by a hard slap instead of a reply.

Only then he finally felt a switch turned on inside him, as he felt angry.

He glared at her and cried, "What hell is wrong?!"

"How could you do that to me...." She muttered while sobbing.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"You pathetic human being!"

He was just simply dumbfounded.

She cried and spoke, "You're just using me to get over her. Nothing you did was out of concern for me, even if you did, you'd think I'd fall for someone like you? An inconsistent bastard hiding behind different personalities, imitated from the things you've watched and read like a child? And you're proud of yourself?"

"We're done Liu Jeemin, don't you contact me again you disgusting bastard." Her red eyes glared at him with disgust.

"You're misunderstanding something, I didn't do anything."

She only covered her unbutton clothes with her hands and threw him another glare as her reply.

"Trust me I—"

"How many times have you lied to me? You said you never meet in secret with my sister behind his boyfriend's back, but I caught you several times. Do you think I'm a fool? Never contact me or my sister again unless you want to stay behind a bar for the rest of your life!"

"Ridiculous. You have been fucked by different guys whenever you got drunk that I've already lost count of, and now you have the gall to say that to me? To me, the only guy who didn't touch you?"

At the moment, he just knew... That he just crossed a line he can never come back from.

So why not continue crossing the line?

Since the milk has been spilled, the die has been cast, he poured his wronged heart out.

"Don't you think I didn't know when you invited me to accompany you and your sister to a drink, the guy that suddenly arrived fucked you when you slept on his dorm? Heavens! Instead of letting me bring you home, you slept on his dorm!"

"You invited me but you fucked with that good for nothing brawn with no brain instead of... Just how fucked up is that?! And now you're accusing me of something I didn't clearly do? The only guy who accompanied you, kept up with your antics, without taking advantage of you the entire time?"

"Hell, I thought you knew me. If I knew this would have happened, I would have —"

Before he could even continue his next words, she fell down on the floor and cried. He didn't feel any sense of accomplishment for shutting her up; instead, he felt something worse than just feeling wronged, but at the same time felt betrayed.

In the meantime, she felt a revolting feeling brewing inside her. The pain she felt was unimaginable, she never expected to hear those words coming from him.

When he was about to get closer to her and apologize...

"So what, if I was fucked with guys like those, I enjoyed it! They didn't made me feel like this. Unlike you! You're the worst man that could exist in this entire world, fuck you!"

She stood up, fixed her clothes, and coldly looked at him.

Her high-arched eyebrows were raised as she coldly said, "And there will never be something between you and my sister."

"You know, she told me something about you. When she was feeling down and allowed you to kiss her, she said you didn't, because you said it was wrong. Even though she allowed you to do so and asked you multiple times. But how could you do something wrong to me..."

Her eyes were hot and wet from betrayal. After leaving those words, she stormed out of the apartment, leaving behind Jeemin standing with a blank expression inside.