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I just want to play alone!
Chapter 1- I hate it when people get the same references I do

Chapter 1- I hate it when people get the same references I do

It was difficult to look into her eyes. Even though she wasn’t actually in front of me, the projection was so lifelike that I could feel the true intensity behind that tear filled glare. I didn’t like seeing her cry, and it didn’t really matter how much I told her or how I justified myself. Why couldn’t she just understand?

“You won’t even look at me? You know you’re wrong so you can’t look Jin.” Her acerbic tone was something I was used to after so many years.

Gazing into her watery soft brown eyes my heart froze.

“I’m sorry darling. I’ve told you so many times that it’s just a matter of time. You know there are extenuating circumstances and I’m bringing my life back on track.” My voice was shaking and I could feel the dryness in my throat.

“You only have excuses Jin! You can never do anything for me.”

“That’s not true and you know it.” I was really pissed when she said that, how could she say that.

“You didn’t come when I asked you to.” Her voice was flat, a really bad sign for me.

“Like I said, there were really good reasons for that Lyn.” I was begging her to understand, just as I had done so many times in the past. “I always talk to you and give you all of the time I have free. You know that.”

“It’s not enough Jin, you’re not here with me. I can’t take this anymore. I need time.” She sighed, now it was her turn to look away.

“What does that mean for us Lynda?” I whispered.

“It means I need time Jin. Please give it to me.” She looked at my dazed expression and shook her head before the projection vanished.

Staring at the spot her image had stood, I was lost in thoughts of us letting time go by, my milkshake warming up. She said time so I would give her time I decided. It wasn’t the first time this had happened and I felt that it wouldn’t be the last either. At least I hoped it wouldn’t be.

Paying my bill, I left the small coffee shop. Stopping at the door to attach an air filter to my collar I stepped onto the dirty streets. This coffee shop was in an alley of the BKC district of the greater Mumbai-Pune-Nasik metropolis, commonly just referred to as the MPN metro. The only reason I came here was the high fidelity Augmented Reality, or AR for short, services they provided with what I had been informed was some of the shittiest coffee in existence.

Now I don’t drink coffee. Can’t stand the stuff, and I’d spent quite a lot of time arguing with people on why they would drink that swill. Sure, it perks you up, but I’m sure I read something stating that caffeine only makes you energetic to a normal state and that its withdrawal causes you to feel down. It’s like a drug I’d argued, minus the actual high. Not that people listen. Certainly never Lynda. I prefer a strawberry milkshake any day, I could be bribed with one for sure. Had been as well, giving away a friends phone number.

Kinda the reason I don’t have many friends anymore. I can understand that it’s tough to trust someone that will give your personal information away for a milkshake. It’s not like any of the people who got the information were ever criminals. Except maybe that stalker of Akshay’s, but that was his own fault for being so damn popular.

Well that’s why I don’t have many friends anymore. That and people are fucking idiots.

Standing in front of a dingy high-tech coffee shop in the business capital of the Indo-Asian Cooperative, these thoughts may seem out of place, but friendship was on my mind looking at the billboard in front of me.

FANTASY ONLINE- THE VRMMORPG OF THE CENTURY- WHAT ADVENTURES WILL YOU HAVE?

JOIN THE NEW WORLD!

RELEASING TODAY

GT UR CPY NW @ SINGHS VR ODD SHOPPEy

PM US @ [email protected] FR UR CPY

It’s not the fact that MMO’s are to be played in a group that made me think of friends. Oh no, that certainly wasn’t it. Certainly not the hours of grinding on my own until I found a girlfriend and joined her guild. Definitely not that.

It was that bastard Singh. One of my few dubious acquaintances, he was definitely an odd character. Just take his email ID for example. He claimed the V.B. stood for ‘Very Big’. I think you get the idea at what he was getting at. However, his IT admin, another odd friend of mine, is adamant that Singh made a mistake while typing, and had meant to write V.R. How on earth do you slip from R to B and add an extra R as well? Like I said people are fucking idiots.

Now I know that my anger at those morons was probably because of my argument with my girlfriend, but who cares? Just because I may be single again doesn’t mean that they’re any less annoying. Plus, I had to collect my copy of Fantasy Online from him today.

Trudging through the hazy air of 2133, I frowned at the reading showing the AQI going above 700. Great another hazardous day until they activate the cities scrubbers.

Singh’s Odd Shoppe was actually quite clean and organized considering the lunacy of the man who ran the place. Walking in, I headed straight to the counter where a bored looking Singh tapped a keyboard in front of him using his index fingers.

There. See what I mean? In this day and age who types like that?

“Singh did my copy of FO come in yet?” I always talked to Singh with as little digression as possible. No need to give him anything to talk about the man could take any topic and talk it to death. That’s not a joke. Poor Mrs. Patni sat and listened to him for hours until her heart stopped. It really put a dent in his sales to the retired demographic.

“Jin, mera dost! I got your box yesterday and have kept it safe just for you.” He looked up at me happily, jowls hanging loosely under his multicolored turban.

“Don’t call me your friend Singh. Not since you scammed me last time.” Why was there so much stuff that reminded me of angry thoughts today?

“No, no. It was just a misunderstanding. The dons were really cooperative and gave your money back didn’t they?” His apologetic expression was especially suspicious and I knew that if it wasn’t for the Cooperative Police becoming very interested in the activities surrounding his shop, I wouldn’t be seeing my thousand credits ever again. Dragging a head sized box from under his counter he plopped it down for me to check.

Emblazoned on the box was the title Fantasy Online in super fancy calligraphy. Verifying that it was sealed I swiped my hand under his scanner to pay him and seeing the light turn green in approval I nodded at him, some of my anger easing at my new toy. Whatever a person may say, games are just toys. Big boy toys they may be, but I don’t know why people get so butt-hurt whenever they’re told they’re playing with toys.

I like playing with my toys.

“There’s some really interesting info on this game bhai.” Singh leaned over conspiratorially as he whispered these words.

I know I should ignore him.

I’ll ignore him.

Completely ignore him.

“What?” So sue me, I’m too curious for my own good and this fucker knows how to push my buttons just right. It’s how I gave him the thousand credits in the first place.

“You know how there’s very little info to go on?”

I nodded. The developers had been surprisingly tight-lipped. A terrible marketing strategy I would have thought, but their beta-testers had changed the entire scenario. Posting comments that were glowing reviews without giving any concrete details, the buzz had turned viral and within a week the system for FO had preorders in the millions.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

“The most we know is that it’s ‘the next generation in VR technology’” I mentioned.

“Right, Jin. I happen to know a beta-tester and he was very clear that his contract was extremely severe in what he was allowed to disclose, but I managed to deduce they had a mem-lock placed on them.” He almost hissed his last words.

I breathed in surprise. Mem-locks were rumored technology that the various governments had, that allowed someone to block someone from discussing their memories at the lowest settings and blocked their memories from themselves at the highest settings. There were all sorts of laws banning the usage of the technology except in certain circumstances, which was horribly suspicious considering how much they denied it, making it the greatest exposed lie in history. However, there was no concrete evidence on the subject, making conspiracy theorists rant in fervor that it was proof that everyone was already mem-locked just because we can’t remember their use.

“That’s pretty excessive.” I pointed out.

“Yes, but a little bit of digging and by asking around the subject one of the things I discovered is that the beta-testers have no idea what they’re doing. The system is insanely complex and flexible so they are confused at every action.”

“Complex system?” I murmured, intrigued by the prospect.

“I knew you’d like that Jin.” His oily grin looked like a sneer. How could a man’s actions make him look so slippery and suspicious?

“The mem-lock reminds me of the time when the Yakuza lord of Hinjewadi wanted to bring a dozen illegal fish for his fish tank from Brazil. There were all sorts of strange shipments made to a pet shop right next door and I could smell the horrible scent of the sea….”

Tuning out his words I nodded occasionally at his improbable tale of how he helped the police nab a gangster boss from the triad, even though the it was the Yakuza boss that was acting illegally. Thinking about the game and the time I’d be able to spend alone to analyze this new system I felt happier. That would occupy me until Lyndas time frame to think was over.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tossing my clothes to the side I took a quick shower. Angry showers are weird. You feel hot, but cold water really eases that. Yet somehow you feel even angrier. The reason for that? The fucking water heater was broken again.

Shooting a furious mail to the maintenance department of the complex, I set up the FO system in my bedroom. Placing the system on my night stand I hooked it up and pulled out the connection cable.

Lying down I took a deep breath and jacked myself in, the pin sliding into the port on my neck. Sure, inserting a metallic rod into your neck doesn’t hurt directly but the scratching as it slides into the port sends shivers down your spine that never gets easier doesn’t matter how many times you do it. Hitting the power button, I closed my eyes.

When I opened them, I was in a featureless expanse with a white tiled floor below me.

“Hello, and welcome to Fantasy Online. I am your resident AI fairy. Please provide me with a name, gender and voice based on your preferences.” A featureless generic voice came down from my surroundings and a window popped up in front of me.

Setting a female voice that I will vehemently deny sounds a lot like Lynda, I waited for the next instructions.

A small dot of light appeared a small blue winged fairy came out of it.

“Hi, I’m Miranda! Thank you for naming me. What’s your name?”

I told her.

“Welcome to Fantasy Online Lord Banana. Please choose a nickname.”

I shortened my name.

“Hi Lord B. A world of adventure and mystery awaits you.”

“Please agree to the following terms and conditions to finalize your account. Please note that Fantasy Online functions on a 10:1 time compression and as such one day of time in the real world is equivalent to 10 days in game. All functions that connect to the outside world are restricted and as such only phone calls are permitted, however you will be removed from the game during the call so as to sync your time perception for the same.”

I told her I agreed and understood all her explanations.

“Thank you. Fantasy Online servers will be online in 1 hour 35 minutes and 14 seconds. Please enjoy browsing the internet in the meantime. On completion of the countdown you will be teleported to a personalized instance to acclimate yourself to the controls and systems. WARNING! THE INSTANCE IS NOT A TUTORIAL AND ALL SYSTEMS AND THREATS ARE REAL.”

I can’t believe there’s no tutorial. I didn’t even look at the manual. It’s been hundreds of years since a game expected you to read the manual. This thing is so weird, it better be as complex as Singh told me.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I was standing in a forest looking around me at the almost photorealistic graphics around me. It felt so real and the sensation of the air flowing by me and the smell of grass was insanely detailed. More like, I didn’t think there was a place on earth that still had enough nature that they could model it properly. Hell, this might not even be an accurate model but it was awesome.

Passing my hand through some leaves I marveled at the sensation. This feels so real. Wait, real? Uh-oh. In a rush, I called out the menu and scanned it before breathing a sigh of relief.

“Looking for the Log-out button?” Miranda asked me from her seat on my shoulder.

“How did you know?” I was surprised, could the AI intercept my thoughts?

“You’d be surprised at how many people check that the log-out option the first time they join a new VRMMO. It’s about 85%. The last hundred years of fiction really stick in people’s heads.” Her dry voice made my face hot with shame.

I’ll ignore the suddenly sassy AI for a moment and check my status.

“Oh, for fucks sake.” Staring at my status I could only feel rage.

Status

Name

Lord Banana

Level

Go Find Out

Experience

You have no experience

Class

Nope

Titles

Still Nothing

Attributes

HP

Figure it out

MP

Figure it out

Strength

Figure it out

Charisma

Figure it out

Dexterity

Figure it out

Psych

Figure it out

Constitution

Figure it out

Magic

Figure it out

Wisdom

Figure it out

Intelligence

Figure it out

Skills

Go do something. You have no skills..

“Why can’t I see anything on my status?”

“You have to discover your abilities first. That should be obvious, did you know how strong you were without measuring it outside the Game?” Does she have to sound so snarky?

“That may be true but it’s still a game.” Arguing with Miranda was turning out to be a pointless endeavor.

Checking my inventory, I discovered a small rusty sword which I equipped and slowly started to move through the forest. Coming to a clearing, I stayed in the tree line while I looked at little white rabbits hopping around happily. I’ll admit that I assume that they’re happy, but that’s a reasonable deduction when it comes to hopping animals.

“Can’t I see the rabbit’s status or HP bar or something?” I asked Miranda after minutes of frustration and calling out skill names like ‘Appraisal’, ‘scan’ and so on.

“You don’t have the requisite skills.” Was her succinct reply.

Grumbling at how frustrating this game already was, I moved towards a rabbit. I hoped that killing something would unlock some of the information on the status screen.

Sneaking up to the rabbit I swung at it as hard as I could.

The blade cut into the rabbit, leaving a gash because my strike was slightly off target.  

The rabbit spun to face me and hissed, red eyes glowing and I backed away bringing my blade up.

The rabbit streaked towards my face and my eyes widened as it moved through the air as if it was a puppet on strings.

Slashing horizontally, I managed to tear its neck open, the blood spraying me as it hit me and fell to the floor. The force of the inanimate rabbit knocked me onto the floor, bruising me where it hit. Totally gross. Now I’m not a vegetarian but tearing the throat open of a vicious carnivorous rabbit is not on my list of a good day out.

You’ve defeated Monty’s Bunny! 1XP gained

Title unlocked: The Knight who didn’t say Ni

Skill unlocked: Basic Swordplay

“They made a M*nty Pyth*n reference here!” I screamed, realizing that I may have just walked into a giant twisted joke.

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