Chapter 1

Part 1

It all started in kindergarten, the embarrassing story called my love life. No, I am not just some nerd who is too incompetent to get girls. In fact, I’ve been in several relationships with many different females throughout my life. Okay, maybe that’s taking it a bit too far, but you get the point. Either way, I’ve never been able to get my hands on the girls that have mattered to me throughout my life.

Let’s start all the way back in kindergarten. Back then, I guess you could call me the ‘Kindergarten Heartthrob’. Girls were obsessing over me like it was nothing, even when I didn’t want them to. It just so happened that my best friend at the time, Leon, was just as, if not more popular than me. All the girls loved him. Among those girls, just happened to be my crush. The two ended up “kindergarten dating” (pretty much holding each other’s hands all the time and sharing food) until elementary school started where we all split our own ways.

Then, elementary school came. Here, we had some knowledge about relationships and such, but we still had a lot of learning to do. After my humiliation in kindergarten, I made it my goal to stand out as much as possible and to become the most popular in the grade. My athletic ability and academic success helped me achieve that goal in no time. As a matter of fact, I even had my own fan club dedicated to me. I was the king of the grade. Everything was going perfectly until I developed my second crush. Being the stupid elementary student that I was, I was under the delusion that she would just come to me without having to do anything. I kept waiting and waiting, until eventually, my best friend in elementary school snatched her away (doesn’t that sound familiar). Apparently, she was only into the “bold type” and was only interested in boys that made a move on her first.

Finally, there was middle school. My attitude completely changed and I decided I no longer wanted to be the centre of attention. I was intentionally dropping my grades by a few percent so it was still in the mid-80 range and got less and less involved in sports with the exception of hockey, which I still play today. This time, it was a girl named Rebekah. Her and I got along very well, and I made it my goal to not let her slip through my hands this time. It was no use though, as I wasted my 3 years never manning up enough to confess to her. However, she must’ve seen something in me too, because on the last day of school she actually confessed to me. I was too astonished to say anything, and before I knew it, she left. After that incident, she fell off the face of Earth and was never seen in the city again.

That’s been the whole story until now. Humiliation, embarrassment, and no fun times. However, it won’t be the same this time in high school. I’m almost done my last year of high school and I have yet to fall in love. I've learned from the past. I'm not making the same mistakes as before.

Part 2

“Sit down class, let’s get started,” announced my homeroom teacher, Wood. “I’m sure many of you heard about the new transfer student. I know it’s weird having one at this time of the year, and this randomly, so please, be friendly.”

I had heard some people in the halls talking about a new transfer student, but never got to see who it was myself. It was weird having a new student this time of the year, especially when there was only 1 semester left of high school until graduation, but it was always cool meeting someone new here.

There was some chitter-chatter among the students, curious to see who this new student was. A tall blonde girl then nervously entered the room, smiling, and politely waving to the class.

It took me some time to process the face that entered the room. It only took me a few seconds of looking at her until I recognized who it was.

IT’S, IT’S, IT’S……………………………………..

What the actual fuck? I had to re-check my vision in order to see if I wasn’t tripping

“Hello everyone! My name is Rebekah. Nice to meet you all! I hope we can get along!”

“Okay Rebekah, why don’t you tell us a little bit about yourself? What’s your favourite sport?” Wood asked.

“Baseball.”

“Well, I got a joke for you, Rebekah. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. THEN IT HIT ME.” Wood said while dying of laughter

The whole class was silent, except Jamal who was obviously fake laughing and who was also getting a 25% in the class.

“Jamal, fake laughing at my jokes won’t get you a higher mark.” Wood added.

Once I heard her name come out of her mouth, I knew I wasn’t just seeing things. The girl that had confessed to me at the end of middle school and then just disappeared just reappeared in my classroom.

“Hey Johnny, you good man?” my friend Will whispered to me from the next desk over.

I didn’t respond, but instead just kept looking at the front of the room, still taking in everything that was going on.

“Okay, that’s enough. Rebekah, you can go back to your seat.”

“I don’t have a seat.”

“Oh, that’s right. You can sit next to our good friend Johnny. I’m sure you two can get along.”

Way to fucking go Wood!

She sat at the desk next to mine, and the class started. Our first-period class was Biology, but I could barely concentrate knowing that Rebekah was sitting right next to me. Do I pretend I've never met her in my life? Do we start out as friends again? Oh god.

I kept glancing at her, still trying to figure out if it was the Rebekah from a few years ago. I spent the whole class doing this, not paying attention to a word Wood said.

Before I knew it, class was already over and it was time for period two. As I got up to leave the room, I was approached by Rebekah.

“What’s up with the glancing? You still got a thing for me?” she giggled.

Dang, she caught that?

“I was still unconvinced that you’re THE Rebekah, so I had to kept looking to see if I was right or not.”

“What was your conclusion then?”

“Yes, you are THE Rebekah.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

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“Okay,” I repeated. The conversation had just started, but already turned awkward.

She paused for a few seconds before speaking again.

“So, uh. Can we… you know, start new again. I know it was a long time ago, but I don’t want you going around everywhere telling everyone about our past. How about we start back as just friends again?” she asked.

“Yeah, sure!” I replied back with a smile.

“Great! I’ll see you around later then,” she replied.

“Oh, one more thing,” she added.

“What now?”

“Say anything about before and you’re dead,” she said with a sarcastic smile.

“Say anything about what?” I said with the same face she made.

“Good.”

As she walked away, Will now approached me.

“What’s with you two?” he asked me.

“Nothing. We just went to the same school in middle school. That’s it.”

“Is that really just it? Either way, be careful.”

“Huh, why?”

“You and I both know you have no experience with girls and just a straight out idiot. She could be using you or manipulating you in her massive scheme, and you wouldn't even know it.”

“She’s not like that, and I have no interest in her anyway. Why are you so interested anyway? Perhaps you’re just trying to get her for yourself?” I said jokingly.

“Haha, funny joke. Good one Johnny,” he fake laughed, while his cheeks grew noticeably red.

“We gotta get to class now don’t we?” I asked, just remembering the next period started in just less than 2 minutes.

“Yeah, we better get going now."

Part 3

Once the clock hit 3:30 and the final bell rang, I quickly packed my things up and made an attempt to rush home.

That was quickly interrupted when I was approached by a familiar figure on my way out of the exit. She had long, light brown hair, was around 5'5, and had these really dark-brown eyes that would stare into your soul whenever she looked at you. If my memory serves me correct, that’s Xela, a girl who went to middle school with me and was pretty good friends with Rebekah back in the day. I wouldn't exactly call us friends, but more like acquaintances. We talked from time to time whenever we needed something from each other, but other than that kept our distance from each other.

Oh God, what does she need from me now??

“Hello, Johnny.”

“Hello Ex-eela, what do you need now?”

“Can we not go over this again? It’s ZEE-LA not EX-EELA. Is it so difficult to understand?”

“If it’s ZEE-LA then why is it spelled X-E-L-A instead of Z-E-L-A.”

“The alphabet X can make a ZEE sound too, dumbass. Like xylophone. You don't hear people pronouncing it EX-ylophone.” she retorted.

“Who are you callin a dumbass? You better take it back before I tell everyone about the time you reached down some guys’ pants when one of your friends hid your phone and said it was in his pants, only to find his genitalia.”

“That was 6th grade, and my brother texted me saying it was an emergency, only to find out the emergency was that we ran out of fucking chip bags at home and needed me to buy some,” she said, her face becoming all flustered.

“You know, I think you made that guy’s day. Did you see the look on his face?” I said, laughing at that memory.

“What are you talking about? He got super pissed and started throwing shit everywhere and calling me a pervert. Three different teachers were required to hold him back.”

“Oh right, I was thinking about some manga. Eh, that outcome wasn’t as interesting.”

“Wait you read manga? Also, my humiliation is not for your entertainment.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yes," she responded. "Whatever, I'm not listening to your stupid comments anymore."

“So did you come to talk to me just to talk about you digging in some guys pants in 6th grade, or is there something else you need from me?” I finally asked.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I can’t talk about it here though. Too many people. Can we go somewhere else?”

“I never thought the day would come where I would finally be asked by a girl to go on a date.”

“That's pretty depressing for a teenage boy your age."

“Shut up.”

“So is that a yes?”

“Why not," I agreed.

We started walking in the direction opposite of my house, which makes it even more inconvenient for me to get back home later.

After 20 minutes of pointless small talk and what felt like endless walking, we ended up at a small cafe named, Filip’s Cafe: Alaska’s #1 Coffee Shop. That’s a lie. The #1 Coffee Shop in Alaska is some bourgeois cafe in Anchorage. We’re located in the small city of Fairbanks, approximately 360 miles north of Anchorage. To be completely honest, I don’t even think this is the best coffee shop in Fairbanks.

We both ordered our coffees at the front counter, then took a seat at a table for two by the corner of the cafe. I got my coffee black, and to my surprise, she also got it black. Who the hell willingly drinks and prefers black coffee?

After finding a place to sit at the corner of the building, Xela and I both sat quietly sipping our coffee like the socially awkward teenagers we were.

I was waiting for her to say something first, but I was getting the feeling the was doing the same thing as me too. This led to just more silence and coffee sipping. Did she not bring me out here to discuss something?

A whole 10 minutes, she finally decided to say something.

“Uh, this coffee’s pretty good. How’s yours?” she said while still staring out the window.

“Great.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.”

Shortly after, we went back to how it was before, sitting quietly and drinking our coffee. Great.

Another 3 minutes went by until I finally decided I’ve had enough.

“Okay, let’s cut the awkwardness now! This is way too much.”

“Way to make it even more awkward, Johnny Awkward.”

“Where the fuck did you get that from?”

“My head. You know how athletes with the name ‘Johnny’ sometimes add the sport they play after ‘Johnny’ as a nickname? For example, Johnny Gaudreau is Johnny Hockey, and Johnny Manziel is Johnny Football. You are Johnny Awkward.”

“You watch hockey?"

"Unfortunately. The more I watch it, the more I start to regret ever getting into this stupid sport."

"What team?"

“Edmonton”

“That explains a lot. Your team sucks.”

“What about you?”

“Uh…. the Avalanche,” I responded.

She starts dying in laughter from my response.

“AND YOU SAID MY TEAM SUCKED. YOUR TEAM JUST CAME OFF OF ONE OF THE WORST SEASONS IN NHL HISTORY,” she said, still laughing her ass off. The Avalanche finished dead last the previous season, far behind anyone else.

“Shut up, McDavid is the only reason the Oilers don’t have like a billion different memes about them.”

“Your team IS a meme.”

“True. Okay, enough hockey talk. Any more of this and all the memories of disappointment after every game I watch will start rushing back to me. Isn’t there something you wanted to tell me?"

“Yes, yes. I was just about to get to that. So, I think your pal Will has grown to like Rebekah quite a bit, and vice-versa.”

What the fuck? Is this person crazy?

“Okay, I’m leaving.” I got up from my seat and started to leave.

“No seriously. Didn’t you notice it too? At lunch, they sat together alone and were talking with huge smiles on their faces the whole time. It really looked like they were slowly falling in love. I also had another class with both of them 3rd period. They couldn’t stop talking and Ms. Ditch kept calling them out for it."

I sat back down in my chair.

“What are you in, elementary school?” I responded. "So they sit together and talk to each other in class and that automatically means they like each other?"

“Hear me out. I found this one website online which can help us see who the person likes. If my theory really is true, then then it should show that they like each other”

She opens her laptop and goes to this stupid love calculator website.

“Look, if you send them this link it will ask a bunch of questions including who they like. In the end, they expect to see the percentage of how much the other person likes you back, but obviously, it’s fake and the results will go directly to your e-mail. Genius.”

“How did you even find this?” I asked.

"You don't need to know."

“Okay, whatever. Besides, I doubt they would fall for something as obvious as this.”

“Rebekah is the most gullible person I know and everyone knows Will’s that guy that’s smart academically but a complete idiot when it comes to everything else.

“That does sound like Will.”

“Well then, that’s perfect.”

“Okay, say they both fall for it and happen to like each other. What then?” I ask

“Isn’t it obvious? You will help Will get together with Rebekah, and I will help Rebekah get together with Will."

"But why?"

"I don't know, sounds like fun. Besides, don't you wanna help your friend Will out by helping him win over his huge crush?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Great! If tests come back positive, which they will, we'll meet up once a week to discuss progress and discuss further actions then."

“Fine."

Part 4

After walking for hours just to get home from that stupid cafe, I slapped open the laptop and hopped on that love calculator site. It was pretty easy to set up a site, as all I had to do was type my name and e-mail and the link was made. I sent it to him on Skype, where we always communicated through. I copied and pasted the link with no other messages before or after.

Two hours later I received an e-mail. As I expected, it was the stupid website sending me the results for the stupid test.

I open the email and there was a link to the results page. On it, I could see:

Will - View Answers.

I click on it and see a bunch of random questions first which were unnecessary. I learned that he does regularly masturbate and that he is indeed heterosexual. I scroll down a bit further and...

Who do you like?

Rebecca