The last thing I remember was curling up in bed after a long day of not wanting to be awake. Yep, reality is a harsh mistress ... with a whip. I mean, if that's your thing, then more power to you, but I'm just not into the kind of abuse she's willing to dish out on a daily basis. Like, seriously, whenever everything seems to be going just fine, here comes reality, kicking your door down, tying you up, and ... *caugh* ... Anyway, where was I?

Ah, right, as I was saying, the last thing I remember was falling asleep in bed, so it makes sense that I find myself waking up in bed, right? Sure, sure, that definitely seems logical ... if this were my bed. You know, I'd even settle for this being somewhere in my own house, but last time I checked I didn't live in a rickety old wooden shack like this.

"Is there anyone here?"

Wait, was that my voice just now? And what's with all this weight holding me down? It's as if gravity itself doesn't want me to get out of bed. Hah! I'll show you, gravity!

*SLAM*

"GEH!"

Rolling out of bed was a bad idea. Gravity is indeed my enemy! Well, at least there was something to soften my ...

WHAT. ARE. THESE!?

"Milady! You've finally awoken!" a rough yet feminine voice speaks from behind me as I massage my newly developed speed bumps. "What are you doing?"

"What do you mean, what am I doing? LOOK AT THESE THINGS! No wonder I had so much trouble sitting up ... they're huge! Wait, did you just say lady? Obviously I'm a ..." Ah, right, men don't usually grow 'em like this. Must be one of those weird dreams again. Hey! don't judge me! Everyone's had that fantasy once or twice in their life! Right? ... Right? No?

Now that I think about it, who is this girl? She wasn't just watching me sleep, was she? That's kind of creepy.

"You were asleep for so long, I was afraid you would never wake ..." a tear starts flowing down her cheek before she wipes it away with one of the clawed fingers on her scaled hands. "I did as you asked and kept you safe, but we no longer have a home to go back to."

"Hold on, hold on, hold on. I only just woke up, you gotta give me some time to process things."

"You're right, I'm sorry, Milady."

The girl averts her yellow eyes. You know, the way her horns jut out from the sides of her head and twist around once before coming to a point is kind of cute.

"Yess ... I see now ..." (It seems the left is slightly larger than the right. Meh, there's nothing wrong with a little asymmetry.)

"Why are you still grabbing your chest? Are you in pain, Milady?"

"Sure, we'll go with that."

Finishing my scientific research, I decide it's finally time to get up from the floor and have a look around.

"Hmm ... hmm ..." with a stroke of my chin, I analyze my surroundings.

The whole building seems to be composed of the single room we're standing in. There's the bed I was sleeping in, if you can call it a bed, and a single pile of rags on the floor that I can only assume to be a second bed used by this lovely lady standing before me. Near the table is a firepit dug into the ground with a small pot dangling over it. Whatever's inside doesn't smell all too appealing though.

Nope, not a clue.

"So ... where are we?"

"Just outside Aborel. Getting you through the Gamaya mountains without being found out was difficult. The Derival kingdom had search parties dedicated to tracking down any of us that had escaped the castle for months, but we were able to give them the slip." I can't understand anything she's telling me, but the way her bulky, reptilian tail is swaying back and forth, she seems rather pleased with herself. "You're surviving followers have all been scattered, but now that you've reawakened, we should have no trouble bringing everyone back together again."

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"Riiight. Well, I'm going to get some fresh air now."

Damn, this is one hell of a dream. I should probably slow down on my anime binge nights before it's too late and I've gone completely mad.

"Of course! Give me just a moment and I'll join you."

Huh... carrying around a big sword like that makes me wonder if this girl is even normal. I mean, how does she even swing that thing around without her wings getting in the way? Oh! I just thought of something! You know that thing you can only do in dreams? This would definitely be a wasted opportunity if I didn't do that!

"Weeee! I'm flying!"

"Wait, milady, don't fly off so suddenly!"

"BARREL ROLL!"

After a few aerial acrobatics I spot a small village and descend upon it from the heavens. As if I were an angel, the villagers all rush out to greet me. Wait, why do they have torches? and what's with the bo-OH NO!

An arrow flies from a villagers bow and hits me in the knee, immediately ending my adventuring career as I crash down to the earth. Actually, the arrow was deflected from my knee, just barely causing a papercut-like scratch, but the following collision with the ground still hurt.

"Wait ... pain ...? Wasn't this supposed to be a dream?"

"What are you doing, Milady? After all the effort I went through to keep us hidden, why would you barge right into a settlement like this?"

"Hold on, isn't that the demon lord's messenger, Arileia? And didn't she just say 'Milady'? Don't tell me ..."

"It's the demon lord! This woman is the demon lord! Someone call Sir Arinth before she goes on a rampage!"

"No need, Miak, I'm already here. I will defeat the demon lord right where she stands."

"I'm kneeling, actually, it's still incredibly difficult for me to stand up with these things on my chest."

"It matters not. You will be defeated he and now by I, Sir Arinth, one of the thirty-two silver swords!"

"Thirty-two!? Why the hell are there so many of you? Is it because you're super inefficient?"

"Silence!"

A shockwave bursts out from the strange man's sword as he cuts through the air in my direction, but it suddenly disperses when the girl following me strikes at it with a blade of her own. I think they called her air-uh-lay-uh(?) or something like that. Whatever, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that it's a fight between strange girl and strange man, and they make strange attacks, which gives me enough time to ponder.

This guy’s sword is jet black. That’s like the opposite of silver. I wonder if he knows… Maybe I should tell him?

“Excuse me--”

“Gyaauukhwwwp!”

“By the gods! She slew Arinth with a single attack!”

“We’re all doomed! How is anyone meant to stand up to such power!?”

“As expected of you, Milady.”

“What? No, I was just … Huh?” When I raised my hand to get the knight dude’s attention he suddenly released the most embarrassing death-shriek as fire shot from my fingers and engulfed him. “I just wanted to let him know that his sword wasn’t actually silver.”

“You’re right, that’s the demon Ulrok’s sword. To think it had fallen into the hands of one of the Thirty-Two Silver Swords after his death.”

“Oh, so it belongs to someone you know?”

“Milady, Ulrok was one of your most loyal generals before giving his life to allow us to escape the castle when we were backed into a corner. Surely you haven’t forgotten him?”

“No, no, of course not. Elrik, right? Yeah. I really miss that guy. Oh, wow, this sword is pretty heavy. Did this Edrik guy really swing around something like this?”

“Milady … You shouldn’t play around with such a dangerous weapon.”

“Huh? What do you mean? … Oh …”

While fidgeting with the really cool black sword, which once belonged to the lost but not forgotten, Odwick, the twirly-twirls I made in the air seemed to have twirly-twirled all over the now completely destroyed village. The screaming villagers that hadn’t been completely blasted to pieces already by my mad sword skillz flee as if they’d seen some kind of monster.

“You know, Error-lay--”

“--It’s Arileia.”

“You know, Arileia, I have a feeling we might not be normal.”

“Of course not. You are the demon lord after all, Milady.”

“I see.”

I kinda feel like someone might have mentioned that at some point. Actually ... isn’t this chick totally a dragon-girl? How did I not notice that before?