"Haram, I say Haram!" a bald man yelled, shaking his fist. He was standing outside of a McDiggins fast food restaurant, shaking his fist at the employees and staff.

"We're sorry, sir," The manager of the store said, trying his best to console the patron.

"A McDiggins that doesn't have ice cream, I can understand," The man said, squatting down to fit into his Lamborghini. "The laws of supply and demand are very exact on the labor and machine parts required to maintain a functional ice cream machine."

"But a McDiggins that doesn't serve sparkling water?" The man said as he took off his sunglasses in disgust."Now that's just Haram!"

"Please, sir, if you would just take this chance to try our other beverage offerings, we have natural spring water," The manager pleaded.

"There's nothing natural about your business practices!" The man yelled, shaking his fist once again. "For comparing natural water to sparkling, you should be punished! In fact God should strike down from the skies and permanently remove your ability verbally express such blasphemies!"

As the bald man shouted his proclamation, with his voice barely audible enough to be heard through the grumbling boom of his Lamborghini's engine, a giant flash from the sky appeared and struck the manager, electrocuting him.

"Serves you right," The man said, driving away in his expensive sports car.

In the next moment, Sirius and his band of evil followers appeared on the scene.

"Hehe, may I take your order?" The second-in-command said, rubbing his hands together gleefully. He looked up at Sirius and his band of mercenaries, terrified of what they could possibly do.

"I will give you one last chance," Sirius said. "I will spare your lives if you are able to produce a single ice cream cone, McFlurry, or any type of creamery substance."

The supervisor nervously looked around, first to his manager who was still fried, standing still like an electrified statue, then to his subordinates who each looked left and right. Each one of them knew that the ice cream machine was clearly broken, but maybe, just maybe, they would be able to pull something off.

Suddenly, a new hire who was unaware of McDiggins notorious ice cream blunders stumbled forward.

"I don't suppose I could interest you in two apple pies? We also have cookies on the dollar menu and an assortment of different types of dessert snacks that you are free to pick through," The new hire suggested.

The staff fell to their knees, groveling in repentance. They knew that their fate had been sealed by the ignorant new employee's words. As tears fell from their eyes, the glare of sirius's mad purple eyes began to reflect in their own, burning their retina with indignation.

"So be it," Sirius said.

With a snap of his fingers, a giant black orb appeared above his hand, seeming to look like a mini black hole. As it swirled around, tiny bits of debris started gathering, swirling into its vortex center by the force of its incredibly dense gravitational field.

"McDiggins!" Sirius said, raising his hand. "By the powers of darkness and as the most evil man in existence of all.... existence! I hereby remove you from existence itself!"

POW!

Before Sirius could throw his giant ball of dark energy towards the McDiggins staff and the establishment behind them, he was hit by a tremendously strong force. There was a giant bang and a shockwave that traveled through the air. The next thing he knew, he was on his back, almost as if he had been hit by a cannon.

"Not today, Lord Sirius," A young boy said with a giant cannon and a tattoo on his arm. "I'm still loving it!"

"How could this be?" One of Sirius's men said. "I thought we destroyed him!"

"I thought we had removed him from existence!"

"How can I be removed from existence when I'm always canon?" The boy said, pointing to his arm.

"My nemesis," Sirius said, getting up and rising to his feet. "Cannon Boy, no matter how many times I try to destroy you, you never get a filler episode!"

"That's right!" Cannon Boy said. "And I've also brought with me the LVTHTG! My league of villains turned heroes by therapy and goodwill!"

In the next moment, a puff of smoke appeared around Cannon Boy, but not in a way that would cover him up and remove him from being the center of attention, but just enough so that you couldn't see exactly what was happening behind him. Footsteps emerged from behind him in the shadows, and then the next moment, he was surrounded by seven villains who looked to be some kind of heroes.

"Villains turned heroes," Sirius said, shaking his head. "You disgust me."

"But, Sirius, don't you have a dream? If you would just let go of your ambition, we could change the world together. We could finally remove pain-" One of the heroes said.

"Silence!" Sirius cried, swiping his hand to the right, creating a dark hand that smacked the villain across the face. THe hand of darkness dragged him into the McDiggins establishment, smashing him into its walls.

"So, we're going to fight for the fate of McDiggins," Cannon Boy said, aiming his cannons at Sirius.

"That's right, prepare yourself, boy," Lord Sirius said.

With afiery spirit, Lord sirious extended his arm pointing in the direction of his enemy.

"Alright men! Attack!" He cried

.........

There was a breif silence as he made his battle command.

"Ahem!" His female compatriots said, crossing their arms.

"Oh, sorry, I meant...Men and women, attack!"

......

"Ahem!" members of the uprising heroes team said.

"Sorry, What I really meant to say was...Men and women, and those who may not identify as women or men as well, and those who are transitioning between either one of the three states or might be contemplating it… Attack!"

Enthralled with Lord Sirius's very inclusive battle cry, the members of both sides engaged in battle.

Cannon Boy, once again armed with his giant proton cannon, began charging it with great ferocity. As his cannon began to charge, a blue light shimmered across the battlefield, blinding everybody who was running towards him.

"Leave Cannon Boy to me! You guys handle the rest," Lord Sirius said. Creating a panel of darkness in either direction around Cannon Boy, he isolated him and prevented his giant blue light from blinding his subordinates.

Boom!

With a shot from his giant blue cannon, a massive blue particle beam accelerated towards Lord Sirius.

Using his powers of darkness, Sirius raised his cape and easily erased the blue beam from existence. But when he turned to look back up at Cannon Boy, he realized that Cannon Boy was inches closer than he was previously.

"How is this possible?" He thought as he began to get sucked into Cannon Boy.

"My cannon can not only fire but it can also vacuum! Now I will suck you into my cannon and blast you into outer space!" Cannon Boy declared.

Cannon Boy began to suck in Lord Sirius as he flew towards the end of the cannon.

Meanwhile, on the outskirts of the battle, his seven masters were fighting. Some on the ground, some in the sky, and some between alternate realities.

"You cannot harm me," Crucis said, looking at his opponent. "I can alter time."

Freezing time, he approached his opponent and aimed to strike his abdomen. But he was surprised when he saw that the opponent's abdomen began to warp as he struck it.

"Although you may be able to control time," The giant gargoyle-looking man with silver skin said, "I am able to alter space!"

"A battle between time and space, all for the sake of ice cream! What has this world become?" The second-in-command said, shaking his head.

As Lord Sirius was sucked into the cannon, he let out an evil laugh.

"This is exactly how I planned it. Now that I'm inside your cannon, there is no escaping it!"

"My cannon is fortified by the plot armor of a thousand cannon plots. Your powers of darkness will not cause it to be altered!" Cannon Boy said confidently.

"That may be true. However," Sirius said, laughing to himself, "What happened to your ammo?"

"Ammo? My cannon doesn't use-"

Cannon Boy looked back and realized what Sirius was saying. "Impossible! Are you telling me the powers of truth and friendship have been annihilated! That ammo?"

After eliminating the cloak of darkness, Sirius revealed the battlefield. Every single one of his comrades had been defeated, lying on the floor, beaten.

Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author's preferred platform and support their work!

"Once again, I have defeated you, and once again, I will remove you from existence," Lord Sirius said raising his hand.

“Wait” Canon boy pleaded. “ You can't destroy me you have to let me live with just enough power to get strongerfor our next battle!"

“ I know that...” Lord Sirius said. “ But I have to make this convincing for the narrator! But as for your friends there's good as dead!”

Lord Sirius once again raised this giant black ball of dark energy and aimed it at the heroes comrades.

“Wait you can't kill me” the man who can control space said. “ I'm a protagonist too!”

“ Is this true” Lord Sirius asked Cannon boy

“ Yes he is inside the Cannon as well”

“Very well,” Lord serious at letting the man go. “ As for the rest of you you will be removed from existence!”

"But wait! I'm a protagonist too!"

"I'm a protagonist too!"

"Yeah, also us! We were protagonists too!"

"Hmm? Are they really all protagonists? How many protagonists are in your story?"

"Well, it's kind of like a Justice League-type thing, where we're all the protagonists."

"Fine," Sirius said, letting each one of the protagonists go.

They were all walking past him, one by one, until the last one, who seemed to be some sort of hero, who didn't have any type of cape, mask, or distinguishing feature.

"Wait a minute," Sirius said, stopping him. "There's no way this guy's the protagonist! He doesn't even have a cape."

"Not all heroes wear capes," the man answered confidently.

"Yeah, but doesn't the Justice League have seven members? Who's this eighth guy?" Sirius asked

"Yeah, I will technically over the duration of the canon franchise There's been a lot more characters added to the Justice League. This could be one of the other characters that is now a protagonist," Siruis's right hand man Antares said.

"Let's settle this right now," Lord Sirius said shooing everyone away.. "When you met the protagonist, did you share your backstory with him?"

"Uhhhh?" The man answered nervously.

"And did you even exist before this whole McDiggins incident? In fact, werern't you an employee before this whole fight started?"

"Uhhhh?" the man said, nervously scratching his chin. He pushed his colored Mcdiggins shirt that was under his coat out of view.

"Sorry, Cannon Boy," Sirius's said shrugging his shoulders. "Looks This guy is getting removed from existence!"

As the scene unfolded the Mcdiggins staff desperately tried to escape.

"And don't think I forgot about you, McDiggins staff. There is no way that any of you are main characters. You guys even put fillers in your burgers nowadays!"

"OH NO!" The staff screamed running for the hills.

Raising his hand, Lord Sirus created the ball of dark ebergy once again. With a swish and a flick, he removed the McDiggins staff, the bystanders, and the one remaining member of the LVTHTG in an instant with his dark ball of energy.

"Hooray, Lord Sirius! You've once again proclaimed darkness throughout the land!"

"NOOO!!!" Canaon boy cried. "HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND!"

"Sir... your best friend is your rival rocket boy? You just met that guy!" His subordanate gagged.

"OH yeh..." Canon boy said regaining his composure. "BUT HE WAS STILL A GOOD PERSON!"

"MUHAHAHA!" Lord sirius laughed. "Yes, now let us all laugh maniacally! Together!" HE ordered his comerades.

"Muhahahaha!"

"Damnit!" Cannon boy said. "You might have almost defeated me, but I'll get stronger, and I'll beat you next time!"

"I'll be waiting for that day. But until then, Wendol's tomorrow?" Lord Sirius asked.

"You got it," Cannon Boy said, walking away with his team.

"Lord Sirius," a voice said.

As he turned to his left, a portal opened up out of nowhere, and his maid Madeline appeared by his side.

"Lord Sirius, I have horrible news," Madeline said.

"What has happened?"

"The castle has been taken over."

"Taken over by who? That's impossible. I just defeated the most benevolent hero, even though he's a child. Who could possibly take over my entire castle while I'm gone for 10 minutes?"

"Do you remember that boy?"

"That little pipsqueak? The one that I let escape? What about him?"

"It seems he's made some kind of deal with McDiggins, and they're funneling ice cream underneath the castle! They've got everybody involved in the scheme, and they've managed to buy everybody off by offering them free ice cream cones!"

"Very well," Lord Sirius said, and with a snap of his fingers, they were all transported back to the castle.

As Lord Sirius opened his eyes to his home, he couldn't believe what he saw. The atmosphere was unremarkably evil, as if he himself had orchestrated it.

Every single one of his guards had an ice cream cone in their hand, partying and living their best lives. Evil villains were playing checkers and even tic-tac-toe. Ninjas were taking off their masks, and samurais were drinking root beer instead of sake. The whole scene made no sense.

As he looked to the back of the throne room, he saw the 10-year-old child once again eating an ice cream cone, looking down at him from his throne. McDiggins was by his side, patting him on the head.

"Just what exactly do you think you're doing?" Lord Sirius said, growing agitated.

"There is a new king in the town of Beetlejuice," McDiggins proclaimed. "All hail the new Lord Sirius!"

"The new Lord Sirius!" Sirius exclaimed. "There is no new Lord Sirius. There's only one me."

"Shut up, poser!" The kid screamed at him. "I'm the real Lord Sirius. You're just some kind of off-brand clone who was militarized and sent to destroy me!"

"What?!" Lord Sirius exclaimed.

"You call yourself an evil villain, and yet you couldn't see that all the while I was beating you outside of the castle. It was all part of my elaborate scheme."

"What is this nonsense that I'm hearing? Are people listening to him?" Sirus gawked.

"Shut up, old leader!" his mistress said, walking out to the younger child. She carresed him, pressing him into hier chest as hard as she could, and as she did, his face became flustered.

"Even my mistress! What the hell is going on here?" Lord Sirius grumbled.

"If you want, you can use me," The box of tissues said, scooting up next to him to offer a consoling shoulder. "Everybody hurts"

"Oh, please," Sirius said, kicking the box of tissues to the side. "This is ridiculous. I'm not even going to bother sitting here to figure out how all of my finest warriors were duped by a child. I'll just do what I always do and remove you from existence!"

Once again, Sirius created a dark ball of energy and aimed it at the child.

"How can you remove me from existence when I'm going to remove you first, you bumbling fool?" The little child said, arming himself with his own ball of darkness.

"What kind of sick joke is this?" Lord Sirius exclaimed.

"You tell me, you old coot!" The child cried.

As the two balls of dark energy collided, a giant schism appeared in the middle of the throne room. The warriors and his ministers were blown back from the force of this incredible intergalactic collision, ripping particles in spacetime apart.

"Impressive," Lord Sirius said.

"You'll never defeat me," The child said.

"Impressive, that is, for a child."

With a snap of his fingers, Lord Sirius completely annihilated the dark energy ball that the child had produced and swallowed him whole. In an instant, he completely erased the child from existence, and the room returned to normal.

"I have no idea what that was all about," Sirius said, stretching out his neck. "Now, Madeline, if you would just..."

Suddenly, Sirius felt his heart palpitate with such ferocity that it felt like he had been hit by one of Cannon Boy's attacks. He looked left and right, but he saw nothing. Yet, some kind of invisible force was tearing him apart from the inside out.

"What's happening?" he exclaimed, looking around.

All around him, there was only silence, not a single word.

As he reached out his arm towards his mistress, he saw his hand slowly fading from existence.

"What exactly is going on here? I'm fading from existence?"

"That's right," McDiggins said, straightening out his hat. "Our plan worked seamlessly, didn't it?"

"Yes, indeed," Sirius's second-in-command said.

In a flash, all seven of his followers appeared behind McDiggins.

"Impossible! What did you guys do? Have you all betrayed me?"

"No, Lord, you have betrayed yourself," his second-in-command Antares said.

"How? What's going on?"

"The boy you just destroyed... " Antares said chucling. "Was none other than yourself."

"What?!" Sirus cried falling to his knees. He squeezed both sides of his head trying to understand what had happend.

"You just removed your own body from existence." Mira said

"How is that possible?" Sirus asked

"It wasn't easy, but with Crucis's help, we were able to go back in time and steal this child version of yourself from its current time. We dyed his hair and made him look a little edgier, which he seemed to like.. And just like a fool, you were unable to recognize him."

"To think... that's why he had all my abilities. He was me."

"We needed something to agitate you, something that wouldn't make you think clearly. So, we picked your weakness: ice cream. We created the ice cream demic and made the child the center of it all. After convincing him that you were an evil version of himself from another dimension, we enacted a plan to get you to erase him from existence, which unfortunately didn't work because you were even, in your most irritable, easy on the child. But nonetheless, in the end, you destroyed the child as we provoked, just as we planned. And now, you're going to fade from existence, just like so many others that you've done." McDiggens proclaimed

"But my evil ministers... Wasn't I a great villain? Wasn't I the most evil man in the world, who else is capable of such evil?"

"That was the problem. You never gave us any days off," Antares said crossing his arms.

"What did you say?"

"You were getting a little too evil, deleting people from existence, removing ice cream, removing Valentine's Day... That was my girlfriend's birthday man! You just kept removing everything from existence, not just destroying things but preventing them from existing. It's the most evil thing I've ever seen in my entire life, and it has to stop!"

"No..."

"Me and the league are going to make a better world for villains! A world where we get vacations and days off. And instead of deleting things from existence, we'll just profit off them, make more money. That's where McDiggins comes in. We're going to be partnering up with him to become a corporation, make some money off this scheme."

"I'm no longer surprised at what I've seen. You are all fools! You abandoned villainy and chose corporatism. I'm disgusted."

"Well, it doesn't matter if you're disgusted because, in the end, you're going to fade from this world," McDiggins stated.

Lord Sirius's body was almost completely deteriorated now, with only his mouth and small facial features remaining.

"Remember this, you fool," Lord Sirius said. "In all the movies, in all the TV shows, in all of recorded history, corporatism dies. The people get smart and rise up and dismantle the system. Villains live forever because we control the system itself! We are so evil that even when we are dead. Just our name causes fear and inspires the next generation of evil. You will see this for yourself. If you think removing me from existence will stop villains from reigning supreme, you're fools!"

"We may be fools, but we are free to be as foolish as we like. The name 'villain' is getting a few more zeros attached to it. And... I'm going to spend Valentine's Day with my girlfriend, goddamn it!"

"IT doesn't matter f I die here!" Lord sirus said as he body began to be ripped apart. "I will always be the most evil man of all existence!"

POOF!

With a poof and a bang, Lord Sirius was gone from this world his soul drifted through the cosmos as he find his new resting place.......

.......

......

"What?

.......

What do you mean the story is not over! I'm the narrator I decide what happens! "

"What! What do you mean the author said this is all an intro to his character! Are you serious! Your telling me I have to narrate a whole nether story! How long will this one be!"

"WHHHAAAT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE"S STILL OUTLINING IT!"