Jhon Bonga nodded to the watchman on duty at the rear of the building and stretched his legs out in long strides. He was late to the morning meeting. Again.

“Not like that, you’ll zap your clitoris.” Abraham Little’s voice echoed out of a laboratory door.

Jhon winced as several agents peered into the hall. “Don’t worry, boys. I’m on it.”

How do they always know when I’m on my way to a meeting?

He poked his head around the door frame to find Annabeth and Abraham hunched over a small machine. “Everything alright?”

“Yes, Director,” Abraham said, without a hint of embarrassment. “We are working on a hair trimmer for women.”

“Did you know this door closes?” Jhon asked, indicating the laboratory door.

“Yes, sir,” Abraham said, making the frown-squint he made when forced to answer the obvious.

“Nevermind,” Jhon said. “I have a meeting to attend. Carry on.”

“Yes, Director,” Annabeth said.

* * *

“Director, could you have a word with Abraham about his relationship with Annabeth? The two of them are a distraction to agents working in the offices near the bio lab,” Sharon said.

“Why don’t you want to have a word with him, Agent Tbela? He reports to you.”

“I know this one.” Hui said.

Not right now, Hui.

“It’s because he reports to Sharon, but Annabeth reports to you, and you have a deeper than professional relationship with Agent Toy, director.”

“You might want to be very precise about what you mean by ‘deeper than professional,’ Hui, and right now,” Jhon growled.

Hui blinked. “I’m sorry, sir. That was poorly done. I don’t mean there is anything improper. I mean that you clearly knew each other before you started the bureau.”

Is that true? He has an impressive game face.

Jhon stared him down until he looked away. “Annabeth was six when I met her. She has lived with me for the last twenty-two years.”

“Story time, sir?” asked Lee Quisling.

“Not this time, Lee. I’m not keeping secrets from you, but the period of my life before I found her is too painful for me to think about clearly, let alone put into words.” Jhon looked down at his hands.

“Isn’t it a conflict of interest for you to hire someone who might as well be your daughter, and then have her report directly to you, sir?” Sharon asked.

Of course. But she can’t work for anyone else.

“Yes.”

“That’s all, just, yes?” Sharon asked.

“This is why she wants you to talk to Abraham, sir,” Hui said.

“How would you like to…never mind, Hui. I understand the situation,” Jhon rubbed his hand over his face.

All of them are unethical hires.

“Hui, what job were you doing immediately before I hired you?” Jhon asked.

“I was teaching secondary school economics.” Hui looked around the table. “Cheated out of teacher of the year ten years in a row.”

“Sharon?”

“Librarian.”

“Lee?”

“Gas station attendant.”

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“Jacob?”

“Boxing coach.”

“Do any of those vocations sound like steppingstones to department head in a federal agency?” Jhon asked, looking around the table.

“What does that have to do with Abraham and Annabeth?” Hui asked.

“It means I hire people for the talent I see, and I place them where I think they will have the most success,” Jhon said. “It’s a conflict of interest for me to hire Annabeth as my personal driver and guard, but there is no one better suited for the job. It is irresponsible of me to hire a librarian to run a research division, it’s just too big a jump in rank, all at once. People would use that as evidence that there must be conflict of interest involved in that decision as well.”

Hui started to open his mouth. “Shut up, Hui,” Jhon said.

Sharon won’t react well if you make another sexist comment about her.

“Yes, sir.”

“All of you are suspect hires for one reason or another, and so are most of our agents. I dare you to find a top candidate for the Bureau of Investigation and then convince them to come work here, for a ridiculous agency with a black director.” Jhon spread his palms out on the tabletop. “If we refuse to hire the other agency’s rejects, we won’t have any staff at all.”

“So, Annabeth is a special case?” Sharon asked.

“Yes.”

“May I ask why?” She prodded.

“Have you seen her fight?” Jacob said. “It’s fucking terrifying. If you got the heavyweight champion of the world, and the top two challengers, she could lick all three of them at once. I shit you not.”

Thank you, Jacob. Your example is so much more innocuous than mine.

Hui started to open his mouth again. “Not yet, Hui,” Jhon said.

“But…”

“No.”

“Yes, sir,” Hui hung his head.

“I’m not just a librarian,” Sharon said, “I have degrees in physics, biochemistry, and music. Plus, I speak six languages.”

“All of us are special in various ways,” Jhon said, “but the people I have hired here, and in turn the people you have hired here, are special for reasons beyond their resumes.”

“I can make a Lover’s Holiday with one hand, and a Honeymoon Surprise with the other hand,” Hui blurted out before Jhon could shush him.

“I’m going to need a demonstration before I believe that,” Jacob said.

“Me too,” Lee added.

This is good. Lightens the mood.

“I agree,” Jhon said, “take some money from petty cash for ingredients, and put on a demo for the whole agency evening of Sixth Day. We’ll close the office an hour early.”

“Now we’re talking,” Hui said, rubbing his hands together. “What’s my budget? Are we doing it here, or do you want me to reserve a bar?”

“We just got a cafeteria, let’s put it to use,” Jhon said.

The meeting disintegrated into planning for the party.

This is going to be a bigger affair than I had in mind. I love their enthusiasm.

* * *

“Mr. Mulroney?” Annabeth extended her hand. Mulroney shook it with the annoying fingers-only grip men tended to use with women.

You don’t need to be gentle with me. I could break you in half.

“Yes, Agent Toy, you indicated that you had something that might be important for my business interests. I’m curious about what that might be.”

Annabeth produced a finely made red cedar box from her purse then opened the lid and produced her shaver, offering it to Mulroney.

He reached out and took it, frowning at the device, then at her. “What is this, Agent Toy?”

Annabeth put her foot up on a chair, exposing her leg, and ran her hand over the skin. Mulroney’s eyes widened slightly, and Annabeth failed to suppress a smile.

“It’s an electric shaver, specifically for women,” Annabeth said. “It’s fast, it’s safe, it fits in a package that fits female hands, and it’s waterproof.”

“I’ve used it on my legs, my armpits, and a couple of places a lady doesn’t discuss in business meetings.” She ran her hand over her armpit. “Smooth as a baby’s bottom.”

She sat on the edge of the chair, making sure to keep her shoulders straight, and looked Mulroney in the eyes. He flushed and reached for a pitcher of water at the edge of his desk.

“May I offer you some refreshment, agent?”

“Of course,” Annabeth smiled at him. “That’s very kind.”

“When you called, I assumed you had some legal business to discuss, perhaps something germane to your work at the Bureau.” He adjusted his tie, and then continued. “I’m not certain this device is something my company would be interested in.”

Ah, there it is, the salesman who wants to cut a good deal.

“How much of the shaving market do you currently have?” Annabeth asked.

“Well, our straight razors are about five percent, our safety razors are about nine, and our electric models are another six. But that doesn’t mean there is a market for--”

“Those statistics are all for men’s shaving supplies, aren’t they?”

“Um, yes, they are--”

“More women than men shave,” Annabeth said.

“Is that true?” Mulroney asked.

Annabeth frowned at him and cocked her head. “Are you questioning my honesty, Mr. Mulroney?”

If he was a smart businessman he would be, but most of these guys are worried about offending a lady.

“No, Agent Toy, I just hadn’t considered it before. Stark and Solomon has always been a supplier of men’s shaving equipment--”

“Did you know women usually shave in the shower?” Annabeth asked.

Mulroney blinked. “Well, I guess I didn’t really consider it, but that makes sense.”

“There are no shower-safe electric shavers on the market. There may not be a market for a men’s shaver in that segment, but I can tell you with certainty that women would love it.”

He surprised her by rolling up a sleeve, plugging the shaver in, and running it over his arm. It left perfectly smooth skin in its wake. Mulroney ran his hand over the shaved skin, and his eyebrows went up.

“This cuts much closer than any electric shaver on the market, Agent Toy. Why didn’t you lead with that?”

Bless you and your obsession with tolerances, Abraham.

“I didn’t know that Mr. Mulroney. I only have experience with one electric shaver, and it is not a Stark and Solomon. I just assumed that a better brand, like yours, would produce a better result.”

Here I am showing off my legs and flexing my boobs, and Abraham makes the sale. How embarrassing.

“How much do you want for this design?”

“Twenty percent of all sales.”

“Twenty? How about five?”

Damn. He would have given me thirty.

“Twenty gets me to cancel my presentation with Sutter Shaving this afternoon,” Annabeth said.

“Done,” Mulroney said. “How soon can you get us the design specifications?”

“I’ll have Legal draw up agreements, and we can meet in, say, three days to go over them?” Mulroney asked.

“That sounds perfect, Mr. Mulroney.”

“May I show your prototype to the board and my engineers?” He held it out to her and waited.

And that is why I came here first. He won’t cheat me.

“I’ve checked your reputation, Mr. Mulroney. You are welcome to show it to the board and your engineers.” Annabeth handed him the case, then shook his hand. “For the moment I do not want my coworkers to know about this business deal. The best way to reach me is to call the Bureau and ask them to take a message for me. Leave a number, and I’ll return the call as soon as my duties allow.”

“Of course, Agent Toy, it was genuinely my pleasure to meet you.”