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I am a Bug
Chapter Two: The odds must be crazy part 2

Chapter Two: The odds must be crazy part 2

One of the two scariest things about asking a question is getting the answer, the other scariest thing is not getting the answer.

"umm, what do you want of me?"

Entertainment.

Okay nevermind, both at once is the absolute scariest.

Now Let's Get Started...

She turned and stepped into another room, and by that I mean she took on step and we were in another room, as if there was no need for the concept of distance.

“Earlier you said that the others didn’t meet your requirements... what are your requirements?” Be more polite you idiot! you are a fragile glass ball in the hands of a reality warping anthropomorphic manifestation of chaos! “...if I may ask?”

You May.

whew!

For Starters You Must Have Died By Being Hit By A Truck.

“what.”

Standard Operating Procedure.

“riiiight, and the rest?”

Well The Second Would Be Having Unfulfilled Potential. You Passed With Flying Colors There.

oooh! that sounds promising!

After All, You Really Didn’t Do Anything With Your Life.

“...”

Third Would Be Never Having Truly Loved Anyone Or Having Had Someone Truly Love You, That Way You Aren’t Tied To Your Previous World.

Please stop. I’m going to cry.

And Fourth Would Be A Sense Of Mischief…

yeah?

That Is To Say: A Chaos Attracting, Fly In The Ointment Sort Of Personality That Takes Pleasure In Messing With Other People.

...Wow okay this all seems unnecessarily hurtful. I’m not sure I want to hear the rest.

And The Last Requirement Would Be That I Can Get Amusement From You, The More The Better.

Aaand we've come full circle. Awesome. I really don’t like the way she smiles when saying that. Where are we now anyways? It seemed while we were talking I had ignored our new surroundings. This room wasn’t that different than the one we just left, but there were two massive differences. The first was the size: the room I left had been the size of your average dining room, but this one could hold your average sports stadium. This place is BIG. the second, well…

“What is that thing?”

Like It? I Call It The Chaos Engine.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

“It’s… something alright.”

This massive monstrosity that took up three quarters of the room seemed to be a clock, a rube goldberg machine and a casino all in one. It was one great interconnected device made out of roulette wheels, slot machines, pachinko games, you name it there was at least one stuffed in there. There was even a… Is that a chicken poop bingo cage? wow. No matter what it was this thing was quite complicated. Even so, it was hard to focus on anything while she was here.  I have heard the phrase: sexy as hell, and boy was She qualified in any interpretation you can think of.

“What does it do?”

Whatever I Want.

It’s really hard to get annoyed with someone this beautiful or someone this terrifying but boy is She making an effort at getting a rise from me.

I Will Be Using This To Decide All The Important Stuff About Your Impending Reincarnation. It Will Help Me Decide The Where And What, So To Speak.

“So I could end up…”

Anywhere.

“and be…”

Anything.

“and this thing will decide that?”

Technically I Decide, But I Always Enjoy Doing It With A Bit Of Style To Liven Things Up.

“So what happens if I’m unlucky?”

You Won’t Be, That’s My Brother’s Territory, Here There Is Only Luck, Good Or Bad. To Be Unlucky Is To Be Without Luck, And That Is Just Boring. But, If It’s Bad Luck You Meant Then Don’t Worry.

“Really?”

Of Course, After All Even If You Have Terrible Luck, It Should Still Be Entertaining, And If It Isn’t I Can Easily Get Someone Else For Another Try, You Aren’t The First You Know.

Yup should’ve guessed it would be like that, arg I am getting a headache and I don’t even have a head anymore. She approached a small table in front of the Chaos Engine and reached for a the large red button in the middle of the table.

Are You Ready To Begin?

“no.”

She giggled in response, that giggle scared me. A lot.

“Just, could I get a drink first? I REALLY don’t want to go through this sober.”

Certainly, How Does Whiskey Sound?

“That sounds great thanks”

*ploonk* I felt myself dropped in a glass of amber liquid. I floated in the small glass like an ice cube for a second while She smiled at me.

“...um”

Yes?

“nevermind.”

Do You Need Anything Else Before We Start? Like A Sandwich Or A Cigar?

“...no, I’m good.”

Her smile got a bit wider and she reached past me to tap the button. The Machine made all the noises of a busy casino, minus the people but plus one chicken, and a near invisible slit in front of the button whirred as it spat out a long note on the same paper used for receipts. I tried to float to the edge of my glass to get a better look but just kept bobbing helplessly. A slender hand slid over me like a passing cloud and plucked the note from its slit.

“What’s it say?”

She looked away from the note and down at me and raised an eyebrow.

I Already Told You, It Says What I Will Turn You Into And Where I Will Be Sending You.

“...”

I would be more annoyed at Her if I wasn’t so scared of Her. Her grin pierced through her air of innocent incomprehension and she looked back to the note with a quiet air of amusement. After a quick read Her eyes lit up and She folded the note into an origami swallow and tossed it to the side, I couldn’t help but notice that it accelerated as it flew until disappeared with a small pop.

Oooh! This Will Be A Fun One!

“Can You tell me what Are You turning me into and where am I going?”

She gave me a small smile of approval, but it grew even wider as She gained the look of someone who knows you are going to hate the punchline.

The World Is Called Gard, and You Are Going To Be Reborn As What The Locals Call “Falx Phantasma” Or “Tree monk.”

That doesn’t help me at all… “Could you describe it more clearly please?” She’s just gonna toss me out to flounder, I just know it.

Even Better, I’ll Let You See It For Yourself.

Yup, knew it. She plucked me from the whiskey with a finger and thumb and held me up to eye level.

Any Last Words?

I will never forget that smile. ...and I didn’t, sometimes I saw it in my dreams.

...And I would wake up screaming.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the soul left the shallow parody of a universe it had been existing within all structure collapsed behind it. The room dissolved into mere ideas and concepts without ceremony, on the other hand the “woman” expanded into a formless omnipresence instantaneously.

An equally omnipresent existence met and joined with it, if joining could apply to the situation. The two existences didn’t speak, perhaps because simply existing simultaneously was in fact a level of communication far beyond our simple verbal method. But if they did their conversation would sound like this:

Is this all necessary?

No More Than The Last Few Billion Times You Have Asked The Question.

Then why?

Because It’s Fun.

Please stop, everything will need to be rebalanced   ...again.

That Is What You Have Never Understood Little Brother...