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I am a Bug
Chapter Twenty Six

Chapter Twenty Six

Mun-gi joined up with some human merchants as he left. They would have stayed for the party if they could. However, aside from not wanting to be seen as party crashers, they had a schedule to keep. The companies who'd ordered the shipments of healing potions and expensive alchemical ingredients wouldn’t like to be kept waiting.

It made the merchants convenient witnesses that despite the fact we hadn’t mistreated ‘Vortex’ Mun-gi, he was far from a friend or ally. The rumors would keep him from being branded a double crosser. It would also help if we hired any mercenaries in the future.

If we decided to follow my other plan, then we’d want to hire quite a few.

Elves preparing for the party were running everywhere now. Tables and chairs were being set out in the town square. A bunch of guys were assembling what looked like a large stage as well.

Shouts of about a dozen different people filled the air. The atmosphere felt odd. It wasn’t like a normal busy day; it reminded me of when we were preparing for war not too long ago. The feeling was much more positive, of course. It was just that the industriousness and coordinated actions were similar.

I’d taken a healing potion, and the piercing pain when I moved wrong was disappearing as I walked. I still needed my shapeshifting created prosthetics of course. There wasn’t any more pain though, and that was good enough for now. Even powerful healing potions couldn’t regrow limbs, they just didn’t have that capability, but wounds that would take months to heal would be gone in a day. It was expensive, but the elves always kept a stockpile.

I moved up and started helping out. I’d love to say that I was more useful thanks to my absurd strength, but plenty of the guys here were strong enough to swing around a solid wooden table if they wanted to. My only advantage was my heavier weight and four legs giving me more stable footing. If it came down to swinging cartoonishly oversized swords I might have the edge, but just hauling tables around didn’t have the same requirements.

Decorations were being put up as well. Stereotypically, it was mostly flowers. I did kind of understand, though. As cliche as it might be for elves to obsess with nature, this was Honeywood forest. The place was overflowing with all sorts of blooming flowers almost year round. The forest was the source of the elves’ health and wealth, so it’s natural they’d want to pay homage to it.

The kids would be getting out of school soon. The party started after they got home and cleaned up. Of course, to a lot of the adults the party didn’t really start till the kids went to bed. I was looking forward to it, too. I just realized that I hadn’t had any alcohol since I became a bug.

I either spent my time with Astera and other kids, or I was out hunting. A time to drink never came up. Plus I have always wondered whether my insectile body discouraged others from inviting me to drink. As much as the elves had gotten used to me, I can’t help but doubt they would be comfortable getting too close.

That may just be my insecurities, though.

School was almost done, and a lot of the food was being brought out. Not just Lawrence, but every cook in town had used their skills today. The smell of all those foods leaving the oven added a new facet to the town’s vaguely flowery scent. I’d just eaten barely an hour ago, but I was already hungry again.

More platters like before were being heaved onto tables. Simple hot plates were used for some of the foods to keep them warm. Big pitchers of water, and juice were set out too. In no time at all the rows and rows of tables were covered in enticing food.

It wasn’t long after everything was set up that the faint sound of a small stampede drew my attention. The kids were here. That meant that the party had officially begun. That is, unless someone was willing to try to wrangle a couple dozen overly excited kids of all ages. It was hard enough to get grown adults to listen to any speeches before eating as well, let alone children. People with empty stomachs next to good food are easily distracted.

Astera made a beeline for me and immediately started climbing up one of my good legs. This wasn’t the first time, so I shapeshifted steps for her and let her settle just behind my thorax. She was slightly out of breath, but she still grinned at me

“Hi!”

“Hey kiddo, long time no see. Have you been good?”

Astera nodded happily. She didn’t even bother stopping to catch her breath; she just tapped my sides with her heels like she was riding a horse and started telling me about the last couple days. She kept droning on and on, so I had trouble paying attention. I actually zoned out for a bit, but I doubt she noticed.

“-And then we swam in the pond. Gent says it’s gross because the fish poo in it but he was the first person in, so I don’t think he actually cares.”

“Yeah, he probably just wanted to gross people out.”

We were wandering around the party now. Astera liked riding my back, and insisted I move almost constantly. I did stop walking about when a couple of people, Gryphus included, made their speeches. Of course, Astera fidgeted so much that I didn’t catch much of it. They kept it pretty short, though. What I did listen to was basically ‘we won, let’s be thankful to the forest, bees, and our warriors’ along with telling everyone what actually happened.

It didn’t feel very necessary to me, but keeping the people informed is important. Either way, it was over quick, and it was time for food.

I made my way into one of the lines and grabbed a pair of plates and platters. One was passed back to Astera, and I held the other with some odd shapeshifting. Missing arm aside, just doing this took a crazy amount of skill with my shapeshifting. I need to change on the fly to make up for my lack of hands.

Mantids like me have these little grippy leg things on our claws, but they aren’t great for actually manipulating objects. Even using a spoon properly is a chore. That’s the main reason why my favorite foods are the kind I can just skewer or grab.

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I was about halfway through the line, holding my tray in a shapeshifted clamp and helping Astera load her plate, when I saw Brokkr sitting at a table off near the edge of the crowd. He looked a lot cleaner, so he had probably figured out whatever secret he’d been obsessing over. A few crumbs pattered against my back. 

“Hey! Wait till we sit down!”

Astera was already eating. I didn’t have to turn my head to see her stuffed cheeks and guilty face. She put the half eaten cheesy bread back down on her plate.

“Be patient, okay?”

“Okayyyy…”

It was funny how much the kid liked cheese and other dairy products, but it did make sense. There weren’t too many cows in the forest, so that kind of thing was in limited supply.

We finished piling plates with food, me with plenty of meat and Astera with anything that had cheese in it, and wandered off to find a table. On a whim I decided to sit at the same table Brokkr chose. Astera didn’t want to get off me though, so I shapeshifted a shelf out of my back to hold her platter.

I crouched down by Brokkr, who was picking at his food. He didn’t smell nearly as bad, although the scent of alchemical ingredients still clung to him.

“So, since you are here I guess you figured out the puzzle.”

“Oh, Manto! Yeah, it was actually quite simple. Turns out the way you had been ‘molting’ the exoskeleton had an effect on it. I ain’t quite sure, but I think that the process of separating it from the flesh had some sort of physiological process that weakened it. Probably your body trying to keep nutrition or something, I ain’t a scholar.”

“Huh, so it’s just the difference between ‘shed’ and ‘plucked.’ I guess that makes some sort of sense…”

“That’s a good way of summing it up. The living exoskeleton seems to be superior in most aspects.”

I nodded. One interesting thing I had encountered living here was the hit or miss knowledge people seemed to have. Alchemists and other people like Brokkr were a good example. If it weren’t for the weirdness of magic they would probably be able to teach classes on chemistry and biology in a high school class on earth, And yet this world was still at a mostly medieval technological level.

Well, Brokkr might be an outlier. The dude was basically a genius, if only in regards to his craft.

He was barely picking at the food right now. Even Astera was eating faster than him, although she was stuffing her cheeks like a greedy chipmunk.

“Hey, are you alright?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah, I just decided to join the party while I waited for my Hathwick to wear off. I’ll be dealing with that in a couple hours, but for now I can’t really work up an appetite.”

“Brokkr…”

“Yeah, yeah. I know what you’re thinking, but I really had to figure out that mystery while I could you know?”

I take back my comment about being a genius. Abusing a Hathwick’s potion like that…

I felt a tugging on my antennae. Astera was pulling on it while looking at me. She mumbled through a mouthful of something like this world’s verion of mac and cheese.

“Hey Manto, who’s Hathwick?”

I frowned internally as I tried to think of the best way to phrase it.

“Brokkr is talking about Hathwick’s potion. Hathwick was an alchemist who lived a long time ago. He wasn’t that great an alchemist, but one day he decided to make a potion for his friend. You see, his friend had a job that meant he couldn’t eat, go to the bathroom, or sleep for days, and Hathwick knew how hard that was. He invented a potion for his friend that would make that easier. It became really popular and people named it after him.”

I wasn’t going to go into more detail than that. I knew she’s a growing girl, but Astera doesn’t have to hear the unpleasant details. Brokkr glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and decided to keep quiet too.

Hathwick’s friend had been an assassin who specialized in difficult targets. He would spend days slowly crawling into the perfect position, waiting just as long for the shot, and take just as long crawling away. He wasn’t the greatest bowman, but his stealth and patience made him an unbelievably effective assassin. He was perfectly fine with not eating for over a week and soiling his pants so he wouldn’t have to move. Not many people can do that.

The potion Hathwick made temporarily prevents the need for eating, defecating, urinating, and sleeping. It also grants plenty of energy and alertness. After drinking one, you will have no problems working non stop without breaks for a week. It meant Hathwick’s friend had a much more comfortable time at his job. The potion became popular in other jobs as well. Many craftsmen relied on it for completing special projects in one go.

The problem came from the side effects. There are reasons people don’t use it unless they have to. A week’s worth of missed bathroom breaks hitting someone at once is not a pretty sight. Even if you don’t eat, are careful not to strain yourself, and generally do everything you are supposed to, coming down from a Hathwick’s is still nasty. Compared to this alchemical abomination, even the worst energy drinks are small potatoes.

I skimmed over the nastier bits, but Astera seemed to clue in to the idea of Hathwick’s being bad for you anyway. Brokkr suffered under the awkwardness of a little kid’s lecture for a few minutes. Eventually I distracted her, and we said goodbye. Brokkr headed off to get ready for the moment Hathwick’s wore off.

We took advantage of the break to grab seconds and change tables. I barely kept Astera from heaping up her plate again. She was going to hurt herself if she ate that much.

We went around, talking with pretty much everyone. Eventually Astera got tired of riding and stuffing her face. She heaved herself off so she could run around with the other kids. They would tire each other out soon enough. I knew that the other adults and I certainly couldn’t.

I made sure to visit and talk with people before going for more food. With my appetite, eating an entire table would be easy as pie. I didn’t want to be the jerk to eat all of someone’s favorite food before they got a chance to enjoy it.

That said, I wasn’t going to pass up the chance to eat this much good cooking.

It was funny. People were visiting and talking casually. It felt more like a family get-together than a festival or party. Then the kids went to bed.

A small parade of barrels were rolled out from behind the stage. They cleared a table, and soon everyone had a mug or glass in their hands. The party really seemed to take off then. The music changed to match the more upbeat atmosphere.

The mood was contagious, and I found myself holding a mug of booze before I knew it. I took a sip, and it turned out to be mead. At least, that’s what I thought it was. It was pretty good. It tasted like honey smelled, although it was a lot less sweet and was unmistakably alcoholic. It was nice; not good, but nice.

I ended up sampling a few different kinds. Elves mostly made fruit wines and mead, for obvious reasons. Grain based alcohols had to be imported. I never found one that I really liked, but I was definitely starting to get a buzz.

“Hey Manto!”

I turned to see one of Lawrence’s apprentices, Allen I think, run up to me. He was one of the humans who lived around here, so he stuck out a bit.

“Hi Allen, what’cha need?”

He paused to shift awkwardly before diving into his explanation.

“See, we need a third for our drinking contest. Brokkr is the one on our team usually, but he’s in no shape to help us right now.”

“Why me?”

“Brokkr may be a lightweight for a dwarf, but there’s still no one who can replace him. Besides, you are the reason he’s out of it right now.”

I shapeshifted myself a set of eyebrows and raised one at him.

“Dude, manipulative much?”

“Right, sorry. I just really want to win this.”

I ended up caving and agreeing to help. It might have been the booze talking, but this sounded fun. It didn’t take long for us to start, either. I just sort of found myself at a table with a stack of empty mugs next to me.

There were rules to this drinking contest. They had explained it to me, something about the team cooperating and stuff. Evidently there was a fair amount of strategy involved that made it more interesting to watch. I didn’t get it though, so I just drank when they asked me to.

Apparently who drank what against who dictated how many points you earned. I was subbing in for Brokkr, who was the teammate that drank during the bad matchups. Drinking more in a single round was important during some matchups, while you wanted the round to end quicker in others.

The main strategy was to make sure that the lightweight on the enemy team was forced into a round where they had to drink a bunch to avoid losing points. Of course, the other team was doing the same thing. I think dice were involved too, but things got fuzzy really quick.

I kept drinking when they shoved me forward, and mostly just sat there when they didn’t need me. The last thing I remembered was somebody shoving a shot glass of something that glowed my way, then I blacked out.