Jake’s POV
I was sitting on my bed, the room illuminated by the new glowing strings that had been added recently. In their dull white light, I held the two broken halves of Twilight, my hammer, which I had accidentally snapped during a rune experiment a few days ago. Earlier, I’d been told that my team was going to kill someone… a person, not a Neame. For three hours, I’ve gone back and forth in my head. Wondering if it was a mistake, thinking that they’d been wrong. Maybe it wasn’t a human?
(I’m in the army, I knew I was going to have to kill someone eventually.) I thought. (Two years here, and I still can’t bring myself to get over this already… Why not?) Sending away Twilight, I laid on my bed, and checked the time on my phone: 8:43 pm. A new letter from my mum was sitting on my desk, but it was still unopened. (How am I… could I, explain this to her? What would Dad say?) My father was in the army, he fought in Iraq during the Gulf War for a year when he was my age, almost thirty years ago. (How did he deal with this? Why is it bothering me so much? It didn’t used to…) Years ago, when I first met Suma, I’d come to terms with the idea that I might have to defend myself, and took classes for it specifically. Dad even took me to a shooting range for the first time and taught me how to use a gun, once I was old enough. But I couldn’t ask my dad anymore, and I didn’t want to worry Mum, so instead I decided to search Zachariah’s memories for an answer, or some way to cope with everything.
His memories had been useful. My magic control is better, I’m starting to figure out how he was able to invert his own spells, and I already learned how he created the runes. Closing my eyes, I opened the memories, and wondered how I was supposed to find a memory on being okay with killing something. (Death.) I thought, and several memories appeared in my mind. Starting with the strongest one, I braced myself.
I was crouched in a bush, looking at a white fox through the branches. The fox was barely visible, hidden by its fur in the glistening snow. Its head poked out slightly from a burrow, before it jumped out and started walking away. Though I couldn’t see them, I knew there was someone behind me. “Do you see it?” The man behind me asked. His voice was rough but quiet. Even though he wasn’t speaking English, I knew what he was saying anyway.
“Yes, Faðir.” Zachariah answered, whispering.
“Good, then take aim, and kill it.” The man said, and handed Zachariah an arrow over his shoulder. Moments later, the arrow was piercing the side of the fox, and Zachariah left to bush to pick it up. “You did good, my son.” The man said, and placed a hand on Zachariah’s shoulder. “Tell me, do you know why you killed this fox?”
“To eat?”
“Yes. We eat the fox, because we are stronger. The fox eats the shrew, because the fox is stronger. We kill because that is our way. The strong kill, the weak kill, because we all must survive.”
With that, the memory ended, and I was back in the void, searching through the memories again. “Well… that was helpful.” I said sarcastically to myself. “I need something that doesn’t feel like it could fit into a Disney movie.”
Changing my desires from just the memories about ‘death’ to ‘dealing with death’, a new group of memories appeared. Opening the next memory, I was transported to a small, cabin style, room. In front of me, laid a woman on a bed. “Móðir…” Zachariah said. It sounded like he was crying, and waves of sadness washed over me; not my own, but his in that moment. Another woman walked up behind Zachariah, followed by his father. She examined the woman on the bed, and told them that she had died. Still holding her hand, Zachariah cried.
“Jörm, Zachariah, I am sorry for your loss.” The woman said, placing a cloth over the woman’s eyes.
Jörm, wiping his eyes, thanked the woman for trying, and asked that the chieftain be called to perform her ceremony tomorrow.
The memory faded away, leaving me reeling from the overwhelming emotions. (Okay, I wasn’t ready for that...) I said, and moved to the next memory.
Now Zachariah was standing in front of a crowd of people, still very upset. Beside him was the woman who had died in the last memory, laying on a ship, with a large blanket draped over her body. On his other side stood a vase of some kind, with fire coming from the top, and his father, facing the ship, while holding a bow and arrow. Jörm was speaking. Telling a story of the woman, named Cewn, and how they met. After he finished talking, several men stepped forward, pushed the ship into the water, and Jörm placed the arrow into the fire. I ended the memory early, not wanting to subject myself to it anymore.
(I need something more related to battle.) Once I knew what I was searching for, the memories changed again, and I opened one.
Before the memory became solid, I could already hear shouting. When everything took shape, I saw that Zachariah was running through a town, holding an axe. In front of him were two men, both carrying spears and shields. Zachariah was fighting for his life…
(Nope.) I thought, and immediately closed the memory. (I’m not mentally prepared for that today.) Without paying much mind to time, I searched through more memories, until I found one that felt strange. Confused, I opened it, and immediately knew something was off. Firstly, I was very high up, watching the sun through a tree’s branches. While looking off, I knew there was someone else there.
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“Your people are quite long lived, right? What are your funerals like?” Zachariah asked. but there was something wrong with his voice. It sounded wrong, and I couldn’t feel him talking.
“They are humble affairs. Why make a spectacle of the inevitable?” A voice I remembered all too well said. Normally, hearing the dragon, Deyja, sends shivers down my spine, but this time my blood ran cold. Because I didn’t just hear his voice, I felt him speaking.
(Please no…) I thought, suddenly becoming sick to my stomach, and praying with every fiber of my being that I was wrong about who’s memory this was. (Please… please no.)
“What do they normally entail?” Zachariah asked.
“For dragons, what you call funerals are normally celebrations of life. First, we entomb the-” Cutting the memory off, I woke myself, and got up from the bed.
With cold sweat pouring off my body, and my stomach in my throat, I started to panic. “Why do I have that monster’s memory in my head?!”
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Suma’s POV
I had been in Captain Gigoales’s private quarters before, but whenever I am, bad news follows. Perched on a vine, across from both the Captain and Lieutenant Datahu, I prepared myself for another bout of whatever misery awaited me. By the dragons, Jake and I were already drowning in it, what else could clip our wings?
“Thank you for coming, Private Suma.” The Captain said.
“My pleasure, sir.”
“The Lieutenant and I simply wanted to inform you of the role Sentinel will be expected to play in our upcoming mission.”
“We also wanted to ask you about his mental state, following the briefing about the mission’s goal.” Datahu said.
“Should Ja- umm… Sentinel not be here for this then?” I asked.
“Perhaps, but we wanted to discuss it with you privately first.” She replied.
“As per the mission specifics, Sentinel will not be the one expected to kill the target, though he should prepare himself for that possibility, should it become necessary.” Gigoales explained.
I breathed a sigh of relief. “I think he will be pleased to hear that… somewhat, anyway. But what will be expected to do.”
“At the moment, we plan on having him fulfill a support role, using his inversion magic to neutralize enemy attacks. Additionally, after having read the reports from one ‘Specialist Von-Pac’, Sentinel will provide his mana to our team members while in the field.”
“Specialist Von-Pac?” I asked confused. I knew the name, he was the noble that Jake and I trained beside regularly at basic-training camp. To think, he became a specialist so quickly, whereas I am still a private. “May I ask what reports, sir?”
“The reports suggest that an infusion of Sentinel’s mana can massively increase the effectiveness of a spell, as well as completely revitalize a Neame for a short time. As you can understand, that kind of support would be extremely useful in combat.”
“Although we will need to take into consideration the drawbacks also stated in the report.” Datahu said. “Extreme lethargy, and an inversion of all spell effects could do more harm than good in many situations.”
“Which is why, in the field, you are forbidden from accessing any of your familiar’s mana. If your spells are inverted, we will lose access to our main source of healing magic.” The Captain added.
“I understand.”
“Good, now moving on to Sentinel’s mental state. He seemed to have an extreme reaction to hearing that the target was a member of his own kind.”
“I would think anyone would, Captain.”
Lieutenant Datahu interrupted, “that is not the point, Private. Since Sentinel is not under the Rite of Dominance, your control over him is not total. Our question is: will Sentinel side with his own kind over us, should he be faced with the choice?”
A wave of guilt washed through me, because admittedly… I had asked myself the same question, more than once. “This will be tough for Jake. Killing in battle is different from planning to kill someone specific, especially if he is not prepared for it. Assassination and murder are illegal for a reason; it is cold, calculated, and antithetical to the morals of most of his, and our, kind. To kill someone in battle is to kill while full of emotions, without thinking, without processing. You simply move, fly, and fight, or you will die. But to assassinate someone… there can be no emotion there, except the anxiety of failure, and the understanding that you are actively choosing to kill someone, even if they are not choosing to kill you. Anyone can fight a battle, but taking a life without the need to? That is… well, there is a reason most could never do it, even if they knew they needed to.”
“That is not the answer we had hoped for.” Lieutenant Datahu said.
“Nor did it answer the question.” Captain Gigoales pointed out.
“I believe he would never betray us, but I do not know if he would kill a member of his own kind for us either.” I answered.
“A rather non-committal answer, but it is fine for now. We will do our best to not put him into that situation, as per the original plan.” The Captain said. “Changing topics, Datahu, rather than your recent simple sparing matches with Sentinel, I want you to help him develop a defensive spell. He is sorely lacking one.”
“It is true. While his long-range attacks have no equal, as he is now, in close or even medium range combat, he would be outmatched by any medium or upper class mage with combat experience.” Datahu said.
“And try to find a way to increase his speed. Moving the whole squad as slowly as he does is not viable, and would get us all killed.”
“Actually, he told me that he was already working on that.” I interjected.
“He already has a spell for it? Excellent.”
“No sir, it was the project he was working on when he accidentally caused that explosion.” I said.
“The rune experiment? I ordered him to cease tho-”
“He has not restarted sir,” I interrupted, not wanting to give him the wrong impression. “But he was nearing completion when he stopped. If you allowed him to resume, under careful observation, perhaps he could be ready by the time of our departure?”
“And he could use this rune to increase his speed?” Datahu asked.
“I believe he said it would be ineffective in combat, but that it would allow him to keep pace with us during travel.” I explained, doing my best to remember what Jake had told me about the project.
Captain Gigoales sighed, and his feathers pressed down against his body. “Fine. He can resume working on the rune experiment, under close supervision.”
“Thank you, Captain.”
“Lieutenant, your orders stand. Find Sentinel a spell to defend himself with.”
“Yes, Captain.”
“You both have three days before we deploy for the Island of Sangu. Work day and night if you need to.” He added.