I’ve been told my brother Jake gives off your typical book-worm vibes. You know the type; a bit grumpy but ultimately harmless, always a thick volume in hand. For the most part, that would be an accurate assessment of his character… until he truly loses his temper, that is; then he can be pretty damn scary.

Take for example that time he knocked out a knife-wielding psychopath by slamming him against a wall, then proceeded to hang me and another three gigantic man upside down so that he could shake out of us a full recount of events, –and I mean “shake” in the literal sense of the word; he got it all out of us, breakfasts included.

When one of the thugs told dear brother about my little bout with “lady Richia of the most ancient house of Aprabat,” he didn’t take it well. To this day I don’t know if the poor bastard was pulled out from that chimney. Hopefully someone was there to noticed the pair of legs flailing upside-down over the roof.

By that point Jake abruptly cut whatever spirit craft kept us aloft, planting the lot of us face first into the ground. Now that I think about it, it’s possible that Dermatrix stopped lending my brother powers for fear he would seriously hurt someone, –bless that kind snail.

Our captives could have tried to ran off by that point but they didn’t, so much had my brother cow them. In fact, the grizzly crooks let themselves be frog-march to the city guard’s barracks without Jake employing a single spirit craft. The large scarred bruiser, that carried an unconscious man’s body as if it was nothing, look for all the world as a scared child hugging a teddy bear for comfort.

It was ridiculous!

I have no doubt we made quite the procession. Not that I could tell with Jake jerking me around by the earlobe at such a painful angle, but someone must have taken notice for a guard contingent met us half way to the barracks.

*

“I am so terribly sorry for what happened the other day with lady Richia, Captain Fiorla. But I assure you, it was all a terrible misunderstanding! The sad truth is that my dear brother, bless his soul, isn’t quite right in the head…”

“Hey!”

Jake slapped my neck so hard I saw stars for a moment, then continued without missing a bit:

“He fell on his head as a babe, see. That’s why he says all sorts of silly things, but he doesn’t mean any of it, isn’t that right Blaky?”

“I…”

He slapped me again!

“Oh, dear! I’m so sorry captain! I forgot how tired my brother must be after this whole ordeal. The poor thing can’t master the strength to talk! Isn’t that so Blaky?”

I almost opened my mouth to answer but, with my nape aching, I decided a cautious nod was perhaps the safest approach... Nope! Never mind. He just slapped me anyways.

“Yes! So verry tired my adored and stupid, stupid lil brother! Dull as a wooden knife, the poor wretch! But he couldn’t hurt a fly, much less undermined the duke’s only heir! He doesn’t even know what his saying half of the time! The dolt is hopeless, I tell you! Someone like him would never survive in the mines, so please…”

“That’s quite enough. I think I got your point, master Grahamson.” The good captain stared at Jake, impassive as ever, “Now, if you don’t mind, I would like having Blake alone so that I can ask him some questions… ”

“I MIND!” Jake slammed the desk with closed fists.

The room wasn’t verry comfortable in the silent stare match that followed, but I don’t know, me being the object of the problem might have something to do with it. Finally, the captain gave a sigh at the bundle of nerves that was my brother;

“Would it put you at ease if I swore, by my honor, that I am not sending your brother to the mines or to some other form of punishment?”

“It…does…” Jake admitted reluctantly.

“It sure puts me at ease... auch! Hey! Stop that, would you!? My brain starting to hurt!”

“You don’t have a brain to hurt, you monumental ass!” he grabbed my poor ear and yelled-whispered into it, “Tell me! What do you plan to do if I let you alone with the captain?! Are you gonna call him names?! Burn down the building…?! Oh god! You’re gonna call him names AND THEN burn down the building…!”

“Ahem… Master Jake, I assure you, I am quite capable of handling your brother. Now, why don’t you wait outside? You can ask one of my men for a cup of tea.”

They glared at each other again, but this time it was Jake who broke in a sigh. My brother’s head droop and his whole posture deflated. Shoulders slumped and crest fallen he made it to the door, a worried Dermatrix patting him on the side of the head with an antenna.

If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Once he left, the captain opened his mouth to ask something, but was again interrupted by a muffled wail outside the close door:

“MY BABY BROTHER IS GONNA GET HIMSELF KILLED!”

“S-sir, please, calm down!” came the voice of an alarmed guardsman

The captain an I stared at each other awkwardly.

“J-Jake isn’t the best at handling stress…” I offered.

“I couldn’t tell…” the captain snorted.

“HE WAS SUCH A KIND KID, YOU KNOW!?”

“Sir come this way, please…”

“WHY DOES HE ALWAYS PULL THIS KIND OF CRAP ON ME…!?”

It took the poor guardsmen a good five minutes to calm down my older brother. All the while I waited in silence avoiding the captains’ eyes as best I could. Finally, when the room was truly silent, he cleared his throat.

“So, I heard about today’s episode from your brother, but tell me about the inciting incident. What really happened between you and lady Richia?”

“Oh… Well, nothing much really… She was about to hurt another girl, so I stopped her… I might have called attention to her hairline once or twice in the process… I am in trouble, ain’t I?” I winced.

“That depends on why.”

“Why what?”

“Why did you help that girl? After all, you did antagonize the counts only living heir for her. You can’t expect me to believe you had nothing to gain for it. Was perhaps the girl of the peerage as well? Were you looking to have her indebted to you? Are you a pawn in another noble’s agenda?”

“What?! No! It was nothing like that…! I mean, to tell the truth I didn’t knew who chin fa… Lady Richia was. I only found when Jane, the other girl, told me.”

“Why did you help her then? You must have a motive.” he lurked forward on his desk, an edge on his eyes.

“I don’t know all right! I just couldn’t stand there doing nothing!” I snapped.

What was with this guy?! I get that being suspicious was kind of his job, but seriously, this was downright paranoid!

“It’s that so…” he hummed, “You said you didn’t know who she was, but surely you were aware that dishonoring a high-ranking noble such as her could have cost you your life?”

“N-not exactly…” I gulped.

“Well, since you were ignorant, there is no point to hold you accountable. You’ll get sufficient punishment from her ladyship and her followers as it is. In true, I believe I should just let you go.”

“Really?! Oh man, that’s a relief! I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, what with all the suspicion and the ominous warning you give me last time I came around…”

“But I won’t let you go.”

“Now that’s plain dirty! Don’t play with a man’s heart like that!”

“Calm down master Grahamson. I promised your brother I wouldn’t punish you, remember?”

“Aha! But you didn’t actually promise anything; you just ask a question implying a promise! Two can play at this paranoid game of yours, master captain!”

The captain snorted. Was he… amused? Hard to tell with that stick so high up his ass.

“I been asking around for your pick pocket kid, you know?” he said out of nowhere, “I haven’t managed to located him yet but I did find some witnesses of your little chase. What would you have us do if we found him?”

“Oh, yeah there was that… I don’t know, have him apologize or something, I don’t care. I just need my focus stone back…”

“Just like that? You would forgo any punishment for stealing something that valuable? By law, you could go so far as to made the boy into your slave, you know?”

I squirmed uncomfortably on my chair.

“There is no need to go that far for something so small as a theft...”

“And yet Lady Richia would go there and further for so much less.” The captain mused, fingers drumming on his desk, “Now that you know who you are dealing with, I expect you would think twice before jumping under the horse to save another stranger.”

“Yeah… I’m not poking a wasp nest again for anyone’s sake.”

Mister captain examined my face for a second, then nodded, as if making up his mind and said:

“Your brother told me you were looking for a side job to pay your fees while you go to the academy, is that correct?”

“Y-yes? Please don’t tell me that is actually illegal!”

“Not at all. In fact, having more mages working in the city was half the reason the academy was founded. I just ask because a friend of mine has been in need of a suitable employee, and I think you’ll do nicely.”

“Wait! Hold up! Was this some sort of twisted job interview all along?!”

The bastard smiled at me! And rather handsomely so.

“You are a messed-up man, sir! You had me and my brother all riled up when you called us to your office! Damnit dude, Jake almost had a mental break down back there!”

“I found the chance to test someone that seemed fit for the job with him none the wiser, and I took it.” He shrugged.

“See! That’s the kind of crazy crap a paranoid ass would pull out! Besides, what part of this whole mess makes you believe I am ‘fit for the job’?!”

The captain rose three fingers:

“You are genuinely concerned by the well-being of a thief who robbed you of your most valuable possession. Furthermore, at least twice you haven’t hesitated to rescue someone who was about to get hurt, even at your own detriment. All this tells me that you are a softhearted and fundamentally decent, if foolhardy young man.”

“I guess you could see it like that, but…”

He downed one finger:

“You showed yourself to be a resourceful spirit crafter, capable to fend off three attackers even before getting a contracted spirit of your own.”

“I wouldn’t say I fended them off…”

He waggled his index at me:

“Most importantly; you’re willing to challenge the authority of someone of Lady Richia’s standing if it is to do the right thing.”

“Hey! I said I wouldn’t do that anymore!”

“You lied.”

“You weren’t supposed to notice…! Wait, what kind of job are we talking about here?! It sounds all kinds of sketchy and dangerous!” I already liked it.

The captain glanced up at a grandfather clock.

“Sadly, I don’t have the time to properly lay down the details now. I can tell you this though,” he gave me a scribbled note with his personal seal, “It is a well-paid job that will shield you form Lady Richia’s influence to some extent, but not an easy one and if you make a mistake, you may find yourself in an even worse position than you are now.”

“Wow… This… What is this? Are you recruiting me as some kind of spy master?”

“Sorry, I can’t reveal more but, if you are interested bring this recommendation note to the castle the day after tomorrow at noon. I warn you though, is not something you can simply walk away from once you accept… Now if you excuse me master Grahamson, there are urgent appointments I must rush to.”

He politely waved me through the door with a ‘Best of lucks.’ Practically without a chance to put in a word of my own I found myself being guided to a waiting room by a guardsman.

I will save myself the indignity of what happened next. Suffice it to say, I was jumped by a wild Jake as soon as I crossed the door. Did I mention how scarry he can be?