I sat in a cushioned chair of the library; my little feet kicked the legs of the table in a rhythmic motion. With only minor interest, I flipped through volume seven of “Herbarium: Tundra Medicine”. It's not that I had a particular interest in medicine, it's that I’d read everything that had immediately interested me. Now I was sifting through the books that I had judged practical but not entertaining. I hated to say it, but this was boring.

Walls of books surrounded the room in aged silence steeped in the wisdom of bygone years. The sound of timeless knowledge was broken by the repetitive tapping of my feet on finely polished oak. Mindlessly I traced a scratch in the beautifully lacquered table. In this place, I was alone in my own little world, a fish in an empty bowl.

It had taken almost nine years to remember exactly how I ended up here. In a way, I consider myself fortunate that I didn't have to experience infancy again, but it was rather a strange experience. When I was five, I believed that I was somehow abducted from my own world and had a raging case of paranoia. Eventually, my time spent with Hermes came back to me as did most of my previous experiences. Still, a few of those nights I spent in a sleepless panic.

Idly, I skimmed through the various uses for Snow Lily. Well, if nothing else the pictures were pretty. I had started with fairy tales but found few such books, then I had moved to history. In a land of magic, I thought it might be rife with stories of great sorcerers and mighty knights, but alas that was not meant to be either. Monster attacks were summed up succinctly without any regard for nuance. Often attacks would be summed up with life and money lost, sometimes there wasn’t a mention of what creature had attacked. After the myriads of small print genres, I moved on to practical knowledge. And while I had no real interest in herbology, I dreaded the day when the only pages left to me were financial reports and political dossiers.

The opulent library around me had been my grandfather's pride and joy, and its abundance of books reflected that love. As a merchant, he had painstakingly hunted them from across the country and imported them from neighboring lands to be a sum collection of knowledge. According to father, his favorite adage was, “knowledge was the only thing you could sell and still keep.” He had passed leaving this splendor to my father and his family, and while I didn't share his same passion, I did find the library a useful place. Primarily, it was a place to keep me out of the way.

The one genre of book this library lacked was technical manuals on magic. Despite this tragic oversight I still recognized the library for what it was, a paradise of knowledge. This room had even been remodeled to allow for greater natural light; apparently, grandfather had found it hard to read in his old age.

From my point of view, it was wasted on me. It really was too good for me, the world was trying to serve me a delectable foie gras of knowledge, and I was craving the grease trap notes of a second-rate wizard. Often, I had thought we were wasted on each other.

I was just beginning to think about bothering one of the maids for lunch when a rather familiar voice said, "Hey Astella, how are you fitting in?"

It was a gentle question. If I wasn't mistaken, she moved with a bit of hesitation as she pulled out the chair opposite me and sat down. Hermes in all her Glory hadn't changed in nine years, although that probably made sense. After living as long as she had, finding a look and sticking with it must save so much time in the morning.

"Apparently Snow Lily can be used to cure coughs and is an excellent preventative measure for hypothermia."

It was strange but it felt good to speak like an adult instead of a child for once. While my body was that of a nine-year-old girl my mind operated like that of a grown woman. Honestly, I had put a great deal of effort into acting more childish. While I didn't throw tantrums. I knew when it was in my best interest to seem less than mature.

With a roll of her eyes, " What a fascinating revelation you must be quite proud."

" I most assuredly am."

“Well...” I could almost hear her impatience. I savored it.

“Care to explain why I didn't really remember everything that happened until about… oh a couple of weeks ago?”

Gently massaging her temples, "I used to think this childish streak of yours was cute but now I'm feeling differently.”

Raising a hand to forestall my next comment she continued, "Souls only keep a copy of the mind. Ultimately the brain needs to develop before these memories can be imprinted. And then absorbing this knowledge takes a fair amount of time."

"Now will you answer my question?"

“Quite possibly; what was it again?”

With a less than usual dramatic sigh and more quietly," How are you doing?"

"I'm alive but as you can see…" I gestured a hand sweeping around the empty library. " This feels a little too familiar for my liking." And indeed, it was, instead of computers there were books. Life really did have a funny way of coming right back around to the beginning.

"I know my dear. That's actually one of the reasons I've come to visit."

"Oh! do tell I'm all aflutter." It was the truth for the most part. I wanted to know what she had to say but was holding onto some lingering doubts.

She leaned in close over the table with amethyst eyes and a cold smile. A second of time passed where I knew she was getting her revenge for my earlier nonchalance. Instead of joy I was greeted with a cold stare looking back at me over polished wood. "Are you content to keep living this way?"

"Of course not..." I trailed off not knowing exactly what to say. She was referring to our first discussion. This was not the life I had wanted, something far simpler and planer would have been more to my taste. A life with a real family. "I'm not giving up I just haven't figured out... What to do next."

Amethyst eyes that had been calm flashed and a new weight was behind them. "Just from the way you've been acting since you remember everything, I was worried." Leaning back and letting a tension I hadn't noticed out of her shoulders.

“Well as long as that's how you feel, after all the moping around I wanted to make sure you haven't gone soft on me.” Like that, the heavy look in her eyes was mostly gone. Still there was a slight edge to her grin. Just what was she playing at.

“I must say you are incredibly boring to watch. Especially when you're like this.”

Ah, I see she just wants her fun. “Oh, really and what exactly do you suggest?”

Theatrically she tapped her finger against her chin. This was payback for my digression on snow lilies. Damn, I really couldn’t beat her at her own game. No matter what anyone said aggravation was a weapon. “Well, how about a little help?”

This little twit was just looking for her money's worth. Well, I said it before and I'll say it again, no sense looking a gift horse in the mouth.

“I thought you said the gods couldn't interfere?”

“We can't interfere unless the world is in jeopardy. But I feel that I can give you a slight push especially when you'll discover these things on your own in due time. Plus I do feel somewhat responsible even if certain events were out of my control.”

Doing my best to avoid the implications of that statement, "So what exactly did you have in mind?"

“In your father's study in the rightmost bookcase, there's a locked cabinet on the bottom shelf. You'll find basic manuals on magic.”

Damn, she was right, I would have found them eventually. Already running low on interesting books, the next stop was my father's study. It might have taken me a few months to push myself to breaking and entering. Rightly or wrongly, I would have gotten there in the end. The thought of programming, to lose myself in the silent short strokes of keys creating something only I could understand was tantalizing. I had often drowned my endlessly churning mind with fun little scripts here and there. It was how I coped last time, and the books in the library no longer held much interest for me. The thought of truly programming again made me feel light-headed with excitement.

“Do you think you'll have any trouble picking a lock?” There was a mocking tone, but I didn't take any offense.

I snorted in derision; I had learned to pick locks back in middle school when the teachers kept banning me from the computer lab. “I'll be fine. Thanks for the concern.” I quipped back with equal parts sarcasm.

“And also, another piece of information that you might find of interest. Your sister has quite the aptitude for the Divine Arts. You may wish to consider that as you move forward.” As she said 'Divine Arts' there was a touch of reproach in her voice. Thankfully I didn't mistake it for being directed at my sister. Rather the nonsensical naming system of magic in this world.

This made me sit up straight and really look at her. Despite the taunts and barbs, there was genuine concern in her words. Something in the tone of her voice, was it a warning or perhaps a hint? Regardless, it was those words that truly sparked the beginning of a plan.

She briefly took my hand and squeezed it. “Had I known, I would have put you somewhere else.” Before I could even move, she was gone. I might have been struggling with emotions outside of my control. For even a well-balanced person some things would have been a challenge. To also be assimilating memories from a past life, one that mirrored this situation, it was all but impossible to stay in control. As I was trying to get myself to grips with this info and my inner turmoil, I had to hand it to her. Teleporting without sound, smoke, or flashing lights was damn impressive.

This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“So a locked cabinet in the far right-hand corner… I can manage.” I let out a low murmur as I pondered her words. In all the time I've been in this world, this was our first meeting. And twice in a row, she had given me more than I bargained for. Now though, I set myself to the task of entering father's study and assertively borrowing those tomes.

******

Later that night it was another quiet dinner. One end of the small dining room was filled with chatter and lively excitement, whereas my little piece of the world was relatively calm and quiet. Despite the fact that I was a mere three chairs down, I almost didn't exist. The source of the commotion was a young girl and a woman that could only be her mother.

Every time I saw six-year-old Marianne, I felt my heart break just a little. She was cute, devastatingly so, almost sickeningly sweet. Her blond hair was back in a braid, baby fat made for a soft round face, with rosy cheeks and a cute button nose, she became the textbook definition of adorable. During the meal, she happily bounced and chatted away about the day's fun. In a previous life, I had always wanted a little sister, but now that one had been thrust at me? I had the good sense to stay away.

Now that my sister was a reality, I felt half a city block away at all times. Why? The fault would lie with the second half of our little equation. My stepmother, a gorgeous petite blonde with, blue eyes, a dazzling smile, and a tall slender figure draped in elegance. To be fair we had gotten along just fine for the first few years. I had been a young girl of two when my birth mother died, and my father remarried. She had treated me well. At the time with my half-remembered memories, I had thought this was another chance after my original mother died. Only later would I realize that my being brought here had scant little to do with being an orphan. Wistfully, I thought of those times Remira had played in the Garden on hot summer days and shared chilled tea.

It might be obvious, but all good things come to an end eventually. After watching one of the maids activate an enchanted kettle for tea, I had asked to learn. To my chagrin, I had gone over the top seeing what was for all purposes an electric kettle. I had begged for days to be shown how the water was heated and every time I didn’t see the distance I was putting between us. That was the first real gap in our relationship. Then when she learned Marianne was on the way we grew further apart. The bitter truth was I wasn't exactly sure why. Within the last year though I had been more or less forgotten. I wasn’t band from speaking with my sister, but every time I tried, I received stony silence and a glare from the matriarch of our household. I knew I wasn’t wanted there, and trying to bridge the gap could prove hazardous to my health. In this hall with its crystalline lights, exquisite foods, and air of sophistication, I had been taken for a ride.

Despite my situation, I was not unhappy. Things may not have been perfect, but I had some options to make things better. And with new information, I was orchestrating my great heist. All of my attention was sunk into how I was going to break into my father's study. The door to the study itself was locked, and once inside there was another lock on the bookcase. The only issue would be to get past the first door. It was in the main hall on the second floor, anyone who happened to chance a midnight stroll while I was bypassing the lock would rat me out. Once inside I would have all the time in the world to get through some cheap piece of junk. Lucky for me father was away.

Father was a military officer in service to the country of Lorander. Despite the opulence of this house and its staff, he wasn’t a noble. Without a drop of blue blood, he had become one of the foremost logistical and supply officers of the realm. When I was six, I had found out that technically I was noble on my mother's side and even my stepmother was the third daughter of some Baron. Most of the time he was kept too busy running here and there. The regular scrap with the Coastal Empire was coming up and he was always worried about being prepared. Every new emperor thought he was going to be the one to reunite the Eastern Territories and usually was soundly thrashed. Still, failure to take even the smallest threat seriously can make it a true danger.

I enjoyed having him around though; he usually tried to include me in strategy discussions and show me maps of the continent. I loved looking over the vast maps and heard the tales of battles fought. In a way it was a system to keep forces supplied and avoid unfavorable ground; it was like the strategy games I had played but from a new angle. Even I was aware enough to realize the difference between sending pixels to die for an imagined cause and the lives of those with sweat and blood; in truth while the systems fascinated me the lost life shook me a little. While I had no interest in swordplay, his other great passion, I always found the dazzling Steel dancing through the air a beautiful sight and took every chance to watch. In a lot of ways, he had been hit by my mother's death just as hard as I had, and when he was around, we comforted each other in our own small ways. I had learned a lot from him, and he was the person I was the second most comfortable with.

So, while I also longed for his company, his absence was a blessing in this case. Just as I was trying to decide what to use for lock picks a voice interrupted. Rough and commanding it garnered respect due to a man who had that face.

"Young Miss. Do you require anything else?"

It was Charles. The manor’s steward and perhaps the only true caretaker I had. The person who was closest to me, and who I felt the most comfortable with. For reasons more well-known my stepmother did not like Charles.

As an Ex-Sergeant in the Monster Extermination Division, he was discharged from service after leading his squad to protect a village from a wyvern. With honor, glory, and enough medals to deflect a sword blow he should have been able to quickly rise through the ranks. But the wyvern had taken his arm and horribly scarred his face with its noxious breath. My father not wanting to lose a courageous soul hired him on the spot. He made my stepmother uncomfortable, more accurately, he made everyone but me uncomfortable.

“I'm good Charlie, thank you.”

I was the only one that called him Charlie. Short, wide, and scarred; he had a look that promised he broke bones for a living and made most want to pray for blindness and scurry back to their homes. A terrifying visage to visit upon a young girl but we had made peace. I think my father had personally asked him to keep an eye on me after realizing my situation.

“Very well Miss.”

He shot me a slight smile. It probably would have been enough to make any number of the maids faint.

Just then the after-dinner tea was brought out. As deftly as I knew how I managed to palm a fork. Mixed with hairpins and creativity, I should be able to recreate something similar to the lockpicks I was used to.

Despite the dinner being exquisite, I could hardly taste it. Thoughts kept scrolling through my head on the magic I was going to use. More than anything I wanted to program again... To lay hands on a keyboard and separate myself from the world with the sound of keystrokes and the execution of commands. While keyboards probably didn't exist in this world, I was still excited beyond belief at the opportunity to put code in action. Thankfully dinner ended after an eternity, but that only seemed to increase my anticipation.

I was led down the well-maintained hallways to my room. In some ways, I felt more like a prisoner, but prisoners don't get to eat prime steak for dinner. But ah, this fine home for a cheeseburger. For a brief moment, I thought back to those meals I used to share with Sasha as we watched the latest shows. I hope she's doing okay. Maybe Marianne would like a burger and fries? Okay, that decided it, If I got the chance I try and make it... Just once I'd like to taste home.

“Miss? You seem rather out of sorts this evening, are you sure you are feeling alright?”

I stopped just before entering my room and turned to him. I gave Charles a customary, “I'm fine.”

He knelt using is one good hand to check my forehead. After that, he ruffled my hair and sent me to bed with a worried look. Still, was I really acting that unusual?

As soon as the door closed a wide grin born from the day’s anticipation spread across my face. I never liked waiting around for things to happen; patience was a virtue, but time was torture. This was my first step to coding again.

Looking in the mirror, I did a double-take as I saw how broad my grin was and how similar it looked to a certain another troublemaker. While I didn't feel sinister, I certainly looked wicked. It wasn’t strange getting used to this body. Not like the last time when I met my otherworldly patron. Emerald green eyes looked back at me from the full-length mirror, but my hair was a red mane that obscured my eyes and covered most of my face. I was taller than average for a girl of nine but was told that my mother was short. I didn’t particularly care at this point, but only time would tell which way my path went. It felt a little weird to say having been subjected to living in three bodies, but I think I looked cute.

Just then I heard a knock at the door. "Time for bed lights out Miss"

******

The door to the study had been the most dangerous area of operations. If someone happened to come down the well-walked hall, I would be found out. Luckily for me, this was a simple affair... Someone forgot to lock the door. After spending almost, a full minute examining the lock and trying to jostle it open, I finally tried the handle and to my surprise found an empty doorway. Despite the fact that no one was watching me, I brushed down my clothes in embarrassment. Quietly, I slipped into the room closing the door behind me.

The office was a typical bureaucrat’s mainstay. An elegant desk with a silver inlaid chair sat facing the room, while along the wall maps and reports were plastered like finest art. It was my own father’s special style; I attributed his eclectic organizational methods to why he could predict the cost of iron 2 years out. The books, rather than the usual mass-produced works found in military residences, these covers were rare indeed. Single prints of campaign diaries written by common soldiers and generals, each containing their own grains of knowledge culminating in a master thesis of war and supply.

The one anomaly was a circular table set on the opposite side of the desk. Across were stretched maps of the region and the continent both containing information on suspected troop movements and locations. Looking at it I could see the history of several hundred years of conflict. My interest in the fighting art's was nonexistent, but the logistical analysis was almost like a system. A series of true and false statements that could be used to predict victory. A gentle pang hit my heart. I remembered father explaining why the cost of cabbage in the Empire could be a more telling sign of troop movements than any spy report.

I hadn't realized that I'd shifted the curtains in the office to let more moonlight in; my head was buried in the maps. Quickly shaking off my reverie, I looked towards the cabinet that contained a myriad of possibilities.

Unlike the door, the cabinet was another matter. I think the idea behind the lock was to keep children out, and child-sized I may be, child I was not. I was using a couple of hairpins to try and turn the latch. So many movies and games can't be wrong. After almost 2 minutes of work, I finally managed to figure it out. I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to find; I was operating blind, and not just figuratively. While some moonlight came in from a part in the curtains behind the desk, I was for all practical purposes working in the dark. The real stroke of luck for me was it the cabinet had a wooden door. Meaning if I removed the books no one would notice unless they went looking for them.

Clearing out the shelf, I brought the tomes over to the moonlight streaming in from the curtains. The first thing that struck me about them was their size. When I first heard magic tomes, I envisioned thick volumes that could stop a blade or bludgeon a man senseless. The typical Wizard's affair of cracked leather and sealed tight with a large iron buckle.

What I was looking at appeared to be more like small personal journals with different symbols embossed on the front. Hell, one was even a pamphlet, I would have dismissed it instantly if the title had not been "Universal magic affinity". I briefly felt the heat of embarrassment having not considered the possibility that beginner books would be beginner size. but I chalked it up to youthful excitement... Yeah, that was it.

Now the next part of the plan is how to get some alone time with my new volumes. Leaving the books here wasn't an option. I couldn't exactly keep stealing away to the office in the dead of night. I was going to get caught one of these days. Plus, had I used a lamp the light would have shown under the door. Without any light to read, I’d be forced to stick to the schedule of the moon. Remember how I said time was torture? I couldn't hide the books in my room the servants clean there too frequently, and it would be a dead giveaway that I had broken into my father's study. What to do….

Honestly, I was a little embarrassed by how long I sat there in the dark trying to find a way forward, but eventually, I did come to a logical conclusion. If I couldn't hide them in secrecy, I would show everyone. Gathering all the tomes I quietly slipped down the hall into the library. There were a few rows of books that wouldn’t look out of place with an extra book here and there.