The small smile on Hermes's face blossomed into a full-blown grin, the sparks of merriment in her eyes blazed into full-blown torches of mirth. "My dear,” (a little strange to be calling this old man ‘my dear’), "I have been watching your actions with some interest, I unabashedly adore those mortals with a similar sense of…trouble. And it’s been an age since I’ve seen someone pull off such mischief! I'd like to offer you another chance at it!"

“Another chance?” It was about all I could manage to parrot back to her.

“Yes! It's been centuries since I've seen someone with your penchant for trickery. When you were but a wee girl you changed the train schedules to make all of your teachers late!” The hint of a chuckle was beginning to creep into her tone. " I'd never heard some of those curses before."

I wasn't exactly stupid. I had known doing this would cause widespread panic. I just wanted to see what would happen. And weighing the options of studying for my first-period test or hacking the train station, I went with the latter. Nothing like middle school angst to put blinders on reality. I'd be the first to admit it was probably too much. From then on, I swore I'd never meddle in public transportation again.

“And then you hacked that news station! When the announcer said, 'schools will now teach children to swear; to educate them on the vileness of nasty language' I thought I'd laugh myself sick.” Hermes was now hugging herself in joy. Apparently, the memory still tickles her funny bone. Honestly, it was starting to become difficult to understand what she was saying so thick was the laughter.

Again, I admit maybe I went a touch too far in meddling with a national newscast. The schools had been inundated with calls from angry parents attempting to pull their children from class immediately…. Not to mention the protests of that particular news station.

Honestly, that incident had been the final nail in my coffin. I was placed on a ‘List’ the kind you can’t get off. After my timely getaway, I had found cheap lodging, food, and was doing freelance work online for what little cash I needed. I was totally trying to stay off the radar.

Now crying fat tears of joy, "and then last month when you-"

"And you want what exactly?" I really didn't want to go into that last incident. Sometimes I couldn't control myself.

Taking a few deep breaths Hermes did manage to get herself under control, “I was looking forward to watching your life but apparently that's not really in the books now, is it? I'd like to send you somewhere else and give you a fresh start, so you can play all the tricks you want, how does that sound? Wonderful right?”

I hesitated, it's not that I wanted to die but I needed some things clarified. Traps come in all shapes and sizes.

“Do I have to go in this old body?”

“No. Absolutely not, that is just a vessel I created to house your soul while we talk. I figured you'd be more comfortable this way rather than mind-to-mind communication.” If you wanted me to be comfortable, why did you make me an old guy?!

She sat down rather abruptly on a checkered blanket that had not been there before. From out of nowhere she also began pouring iced tea into cups that also had not been there before. "Care for a snack? If nothing else that body has the ability to taste, and if you decline my offer this might be your final meal."

"No sense looking a gift horse in the mouth," I muttered. What I intended to be a simple sitting motion rocketed me forward into the goddess.

“My how rude.” Not for a second did I believe she was offended; there were still tears in her eyes from the recounting of my life. Her slender frame was keeping my larger body held back with one hand. It was hard to believe she was a goddess from all the theatrics, but now I was seeing a fraction of her might.

“Sorry, but if you’d just given me my old body, I wouldn't have trouble adjusting!” As I settled into place, “Can I get a cheeseburger and Coke?"

Hermes raised her eyebrows, "I suppose if I must, but your eating habits truly were wretched."

In contrast to my burger, she had a sandwich of some kind with a cold glass of tea. She wasn't pressing me for an answer right now. So, while I demolished what could possibly be my last food experience, I thought. I needed to fall back on the tried-and-true method, lists.

1. Option A: Accept a new life.

2. Option B: Literally choose death.

Okay, I didn't have enough information to be judging this situation. “So, what happens if I say no, do I just die?” I had lived already. Just because I had regrets didn’t necessarily mean I wanted to correct them. The first time around had been more than enough trouble. Better to cut my losses while I still had the chance.

Hermes finished the bite she was chewing and washed it down with some tea. "Well, yes, I release your soul from that vessel and off you go."

“But will I go to heaven or hell? What's the story?”

She shrugged, “Oh, not really sure to be honest with you. We can see souls and move them around, but we don't know what happens after they deteriorate. It could be a vast void of nothingness, another form of reincarnation, or some other judgment that awaits.” Her demeanor indicated that it really meant very little to her one way or the other.

“But you're a god how can you not know?”

“While the universe holds few secrets from us, they are quite the secrets, aren't they?” She used a playful and chiding tone all while grinning. For some reason, I found her acceptance and the grin on her face inappropriate for the situation.

My list revised itself with the new information.

1. Option A: Enter the precipice of the unknown.

2. Option B: Gainful employment? I honestly didn't know if working for someone like this would count as gainful employment by anyone's standards.

“You were thinking something quite rude, weren't you?”

“Of course not, don't be ridiculous,” I said with a shrug feeling a stab of panic. So, she can read minds now!

“All the same though what would you want me to do?”

“So glad you asked!” She clapped her hands together with a little cheer and giggle. “We manage countless worlds all with unique peoples. Ideally, we don't like to interfere, we often prefer mortals to handle their own affairs. It wouldn't do for us to swoop in every time the going gets tough.”

“You said you don't prefer to. It doesn't mean you don't. And wouldn't sending me technically count as interference?”

For the first time, her expression grew serious, eyebrows knitting together. Truly with those amethyst eyes and such focused intensity, I felt a little shaken. “We only step in when the world is on the precipice of being destroyed. Nothing less than total Armageddon will inspire us to action and even then, some of us will abstain.”

The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

Well, that's some hardcore circumstances.

“We do not see the movement of mortals as interference. You have your own destiny and an impact to be made. Whether you exist here or elsewhere you will subtly change the world around you. The reason we…” She paused for a moment as if searching for the right words,” transport mortals to other realms is to help that world grow. Much like planting a foreign flower in a new garden. It may blossom and pollinate with those around it, creating rare blooms never-before-seen.

A hard look came into her eyes, the impact of her gaze truly shocked me. “And occasionally if the flower becomes an invasive species choking out all other life. The Gardener will pluck it out by the roots.”

I wanted to make a snide comment, but an amethyst ocean swallowed me whole removing all sense of time. Those eyes of hers were her true weapons. Just staring at them gave me shivers. Now in the depths of that gaze, I began to drown in power. Just as I felt that I wasn’t going to escape that scrutiny, it ended abruptly. The look in her eyes turned gentle once more.

“Like I said we really only interfere if Armageddon is at the door. There are even some gods that prefer villainous mortals to bring over. They claim, 'giving mortals a villain to unify against is good for their character,’ or something like that.

I gave a snort of disbelief.

“Truly, live a couple of millennia and you develop tastes most would find odd, even by the standards of those who have lived just as long.”

The weight of everything I had just been told was truly starting to sink in. This was no whimsical child sitting across from me asking me to play games. This was really a god offering me a new life. Perhaps it was a chance…

Taking several deep breaths and trying to clear the sight of that intense gaze from my mind I asked, “You didn’t actually explain what you wanted me to do."

“Honestly, nothing your life is entertainment enough.” She said with a shrug, "Worlds that have access to magic tend to stagnate pretty quickly, sometimes we try and develop systems that allow mortals to easily access those powers. But it's not always the best for them." A small pout overtook her mouth, "it gets boring."

“Boring?” Incredulously I asked, “how can a world of magic be boring?”

Instantly, Hermes was on her feet standing and pointing at me fiery passion burning in her eyes, “you see that right there is the problem! Mortals think magic can do everything for them and don't bother thinking through mundane tasks! That's one of the reasons we love this world so much! You don’t have even basic magic, so you made electric lights, long-range communications, and the list goes on and on! You surpassed most of the worlds we manage and did it so inventively we can’t even fathom it!

She was now pacing back and forth as if ranting about how magic ruined everything was her greatest passion in life. “I swear you get one mage who figures out how to cast a little illumination globe and suddenly no one thinks to take it a step farther. The poor have candles and think that’s the way it is, but those who have magic never strive for more. It gets so boring. Magic is seen as the pinnacle and everything else is trash.”

I could practically see spittle flying.

Hermes stopped on a heel and spun to face me. As if she was passing judgment like the god she was, she pointed at me. “The world I'm sending you to has a magical system based on programming languages from Earth. Do you realize we god's had never seen anything like that before it first showed up here! They've had it for over 5,000 years and still haven't figure out the elements behind it! Do you know how frustrating it is to lay out all these breadcrumbs just to have people not notice!”

“Call it a hunch but you were in charge of implementing that system, weren’t you?”

An angry shriek disturbed the calm morning. Looking around for others, I realized my explanation for our location had been put on hold.

Hermes continued her rant. “I had been interested in computers for a while since I realized how important they would be to this world. And by chance, I happened to see someone use a couple of lines of code to crash a coworker’s desktop. I thought to myself, that is true magic if ever I’ve seen it and we should make a world with it!

Wait something didn't seem right. “Five thousand years? How can they have had it for 5,000 years when it hasn't existed that long?”

Hermes waved her hand dismissively, “Time passes differently in Worlds with less magic density. Earth is practically a void so time moves incredibly slowly here; one day is approximately a year elsewhere.

“I see... Wait a minute does that mean that the world didn't exist 5000 years ago? It's not like everyone woke up one day and suddenly discovered ‘hey there's this brand-new way to use magic’.”

She was rubbing the back of her neck with one hand while looking away. Ah-ha I knew it. “Well, I mean it's not that it didn't exist…It's just you know like I said before Armageddon and all that. We step in when things get dire. And if the world happens to come down to just a few inhabitants well then, it's time to re-examine how that magical system is operating…”

“So, correct me if I'm wrong. Five thousand years ago the world was destroyed, and you implemented this new system using computer programming as the basis; now you want me to go over there as some sort of entertainment package for you….?”

“Well like I said before we try to interfere as little as possible. If you choose to go live off on some mountain somewhere and not do a thing, I can't really stop you. But I think you'll live an interesting life there.”

“I see, no otherworldly responsibilities…. Will I get cool powers or anything?”

A sly smile began spreading across Hermes's face. “Oh, I see you're interested. Well as a matter of fact yes, you'll have affinities for most but not all of the Divine Languages. I'm not going to give you absolute destructive powers or anything, but you'll be considered a prodigy; no doubt about it. Plus, knowing what you know from this world will help you immensely in the next one.”

I wasn't exactly scared of the unknown, but it certainly didn't seem like I was in any rush to find out. I mean after all, if I die in the next life the only thing that would happen is what happened here…and I did have regrets about what this life could have been.

“What kind of family am I going to be born into?”

“Where's your sense of adventure!”

“If it's not a straight answer I'm not interested.” I pointed an accusing finger, “you said it yourself after a few millennia you develop strange tastes. How do I know your entertainment with my life doesn't begin with a drunk for a father or abject poverty? I'm not going through the whole bother of living again just to suffer some unknown fate.”

Clasping her hands and looking truly desperate "Please! Please! Please! I guarantee your birth into a happy home of means! How about that? And I promise I won't put you with a household with some dark secret! I’m a god I can read people's minds. Just please say yes!”

“No tricks, I've already died once and I'm not afraid to do it again. You cross me and I'll be out of there.” I wasn’t exactly bluffing either, no way was I going to sit around and be a doormat for her amusement, but if I could get something out of it as well. I extended a hand for her to shake.

Hermes ignoring the proffered hand, immediately lunged at me wrapping me in a big hug. “Oh, I'm so glad I knew you'd do it! But…”

Untangling herself from me she stepped about a foot away. “I need to ask you a question. Why? Why did you live the life you lived?”

The question caught me off guard. “Uh, you know it was just the way things happened I guess.”

With a small shake of her head, she asked again, “Why did you live the life you lived?”

I was beginning to feel attacked. “Well, you're a god why don’t you figure it out. Can't you see back in time and watch my life unfold or whatever."

I was met now by a calm serious god, “I could. But that would be the equivalent of trying to find a particular video on the internet without any frame of reference other than a single still image. Not impossible for me but not the amount of effort I'm looking to put in either. The easiest solution would just be to comb through your memories and find out who you were and why you did the things you did. Though I'd prefer if you told me about your life yourself.”

After moments of long silence, “just read my memories….”

Hermes waited a moment staring into my eyes the mirth in her gaze was gone as it was in mine.

“Very well then.” She closed the distance and leaned forward, brushing a fingertip from my forehead to my nose. For a moment, memories rushed back at me. Whispered words, hushed conversations, hours alone, tears shed in an empty room. It only lasted for a split second but still, I hated it.

“I see. I always find it interesting to see what brings us to the life we had. Even myself I'm not exempt from sorrow and joy.” Her eyes went hazy for a moment as if lost in thought. “Well, I think I have an idea how to change some things in your new life for the better at least.”

I shot her a narrowed glance.

“Oh, come now I did promise and while you were here you were one of my favorites; did you think I wouldn’t try and do you a good turn here and there?”

Her wide grin was back. “I think I have just the family for you to be born into, really I think it'll be a blast… And I so do love games that have more than one twist and turn.”

“You’ll have a family.” Were the whispered words I thought I heard.

As I looked into those deep amethyst eyes, I felt time slowly slip away. As I drifted, I felt oddly at peace. Hope this next life is better than my old one. The fog had rolled in and little by little my memories faded until not even I knew who I was.