"How the fuck did I get here?" "The last thing I remember is asking some fat lesbian for her number on my way back to my room."

What happened was: I, Your Father, sent you to a place a bit more fair and a bit more dangerous. Did I say a bit? I meant a fuckton.

Squish sat up and decided to first take stock of what he had on him: an XXL black shirt with an anime logo, XXL gray sweatpants, his trusty sneakers, and the book under his arm. The book was faintly glowing, even in the harsh sunlight. There was purple grass as far as the eye could see with what looked like white trees sparsely dotted here and there. There were all sorts of different clouds above. White clouds, dark clouds, a cloud for every color of the rainbow with rainbows between many clouds. It honestly looked like something belonging to a modern art museum.

After the wonder of this new place wore off, Squish returned his attention to his glowing yellow book. Previously titled "Dating for Dummies" the Dating was crossed out and replaced with "Cultivation". Squish thought it might have some answers. He opened it and began to read.

Preface

Hello new reader, my name does not matter. I wrote this manual compiling all the experiences I have had over countless millennia. It details what cultivation is, why it is important, and how to correctly go about cultivating. Many who try cultivation often get stuck. Many who try cultivation die. This manual will have some hints on getting past your roadblocks.

What is Cultivation?

In essence, it is the art of improving yourself. There are many different ways to cultivate. However, they all stem from the three main branches of cultivation: Mind, Body, and Spirit.

Mind cultivation is the improvement of your will. With a greater will, you have more concentration and more focus. Your undermind will also improve. In the later levels of Mind cultivation, cultivators can flex their will to concentrate their perspective on the flow of time. Those who run out of will, or focus won't be able to think properly.

Body cultivation is the improvement of your vessel. Most are born with weak vessels that break with a stone's throw. All need to train their body to interact with the physical world. Body cultivation is divided into 2 parts. The generation of chakra/stamina and the use of it. With a sufficiently powerful body, a cultivator can split continents with a fist.

Spirit cultivation is the improvement of your mystical ability. It is governed by your chi, its generation, and its uses. Most cultivators place the greatest importance on chi cultivation, since chi, the fifth state of matter, is potential personified. With enough chi, a cultivator can break stellar entities.

All three methods must remain in balance. A Prak or practitioner/cultivator who cultivates only Mind but has no Body nor Spirit will be limited in what they can do. A Prak with only Body will be slow to all others and uncontrollable. A Prak with only Spirit will also be slow to all others and is as delicate as a flower and have poor control. The Body is home to the Mind and the Spirit, without a strong Body a Prak cannot go far.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

Why Cultivate?

Reason 1: There are many dangers in the Realms. From Beasts, to Devils, to Demons, to other Praks. All must cultivate to survive. Those who cultivate correctly are functionally immortal.

Reason 2: Cultivation is a personal philosophical journey to find out the answer to questions like: Who am I? Why do I live? Is Pizza truly the greatest invention in the universe? How many Realities are there?

Squish knew he was absolutely done for. As soon as he closed the book, it shrank down and tattooed itself on the inside of his right hand's wrist. It looked like a yellow rectangle. Squish was nowhere near civilization. Now he had to contend with all the dangers of the Realms on his own. Squish had no desire to end up as a lion's next meal. Squish decided to try cultivating while nothing seemed to be around him. He tapped on the golden rectangle. It started to grow and glow. Next thing you know, the book is in his hand.

Squish tries to open the book from the middle, but the pages seem stuck together. He tries opening it from the back and all he can see is a Glossary. Finally, he tries from the front and it magically opens right where he left off. Squish is able to turn back to the pages he's read before, but is unable to turn to the next page and skip some reading. Yes, I know what Squish has read. We will be reading my manual together.

How to Cultivate.

Stage One: Genesis.

To harness the potential of chaos hidden behind reality, one must convince Reality that you no longer exist within it, while simultaneously existing within it. In other words, be as still as possible while keeping within you the greatest potential energy. Your potential energy is derived from the impact you might cause Reality.

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Many start their journey of collecting chi atop prodigious heights, since your potential to move at terminal velocity at a moment's notice is a good start. The higher one goes, the less air is there to limit your potential.

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True masters of cultivation rig their abode in such a way that the slightest misstep will blow the whole mountain to kingdom come. Their potential is many many times greater. However, as you progress through the stages and make that potential your own, you will also obtain the power to obliterate a mountain with barely any effort at all.

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Many will feel that they cannot gain any more potential in this way and will end their Genesis here. This is incorrect. Going into Domainity with insufficient chi is like giving birth to a deformed baby: you're left with the choice of throwing away all of your hard work and all the time you spent birthing it or trying to keep it alive while it takes everything from you, leaving you a husk of your former self.

The limits of materials will stop many a cultivator dead in their tracks. However, every realm has multiple points of intersection with pure chaos. A place where the slightest push(assuming a slight push from you will move mountains) will cascade into unraveling the realm on which you stand. This is where you cultivate next.

After achieving Realm Genesis, those rare few who do, feel as if they can't relax for an instant and will leave the realm or step into the next stage instantly. This is natural. A Realm Genesis cultivator cannot casually blink without causing significant devastation to the realm that birthed them. The next Stage solves this problem immediately.

And thus they fall into another pitfall. They will be but an average child in the next Stage. To be truly exceptional, to reach the End Stage, one must reach Solarity Genesis.

The simplest way would be to construct a large enough Sword of Damocles over your Realm's Reality node. Ever Prak's method is personal.

In summary, fill your vessel with potential, reinforce it when it gets too leaky, devote time to following your unbreakable commandments to maintain your mind, and have fun.

For more information on chi and it's uses, check out our sister book "27+ Weird Ways to Use Chi".