We made it to a small town nearby, taking a rest at an inn. Well, if I have to be honest, the word "rest" is pretty generous. I could barely get a wink of sleep since… y’know.

I’m in a new world with magic and everything.

I looked out the window, appreciating the wonderful view. Yesterday I got to see a cloudless sky and full moon. Today was a warm sunrise in the countryside.

Bam.

Scarlet burst open the door to my room, shaking me up a bit. I barely had any time to get ready for the day, and here we were, forced to leave for the next town.

Seriously, what’s the rush with all of this? She won’t even let me have a day to process everything going on. Why?

“Let me tell you about why I won’t even let you have a day to process everything going on. The royal family has always been targeted by certain groups that lurk in the darkness, with agents that hide even in the capital, waiting for a chance to strike…”

She was busy providing natural and necessary exposition to me, so much so that she didn’t notice a third person sneak into the room. I tried to warn her, though she didn’t want to be interrupted.

A mysterious man clad in black clothes had stolen my breakfast banana and lit the fuse of an explosive that he carefully placed right behind Scarlet.

“...and I, an A-rank adventurer skilled in the arts of stealth and mobility, have been designated to protect you while you are to be sent to the place which I shall not name. If I leave my guard down for even a moment’s notice, that’s enough time for one of those dark agents to kill you.”

“S-sounds great and all, but-”

“It’s disrespectful to interrupt people while they speak. You’re really getting on my nerves, y’know? What could be so important that you want to shut me up while I’m explaining something that pertains to your safety and wellbeing?!”

There was no time to speak.

I tried to run but accidentally slipped on the peel of the breakfast banana the assassin left behind. This caused me to perform a beautifully executed butterfly kick, sending the bomb directly into Scarlet’s face.

When I landed on my feet, I stumbled a bit and fell out the third-floor window, landing on a convenient raccoon to break my fall.

BOOOMMM!!!

I could feel the tremors throughout my body. If I were an ordinary person, I would’ve died from the shockwave, though that being said, there's nobody quite like me. Anyways, the entire inn was devastated.

“Damn it. What on-”

I coughed out a small amount of blood.

“Ahem. Ahem.”

Okay, that was probably just a fluke. I have to thank that raccoon for cushioning my landing anyway.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

“Thank you for your sacrifice, noble rac- huh?”

The raccoon suddenly "poofed" and turned into… the assassin? Is this some kind of transfiguration magic?

Well, there’s one less issue to worry about. Luckily for me, I landed right on his head, so he won’t get back up anytime soon.

Scarlet broke free from the rubble, looking a bit dusty but more annoyed than injured, if anything.

“Boles! Thank goodness you’re alright. I was really scared for you at that moment…”

She sighed after taking a look at my condition. However, she immediately started panicking when I coughed up blood again.

“OH NO!! YOU’VE BEEN STRUCKEN WITH A DEADLY ILLNESS!!!”

“No, that’s just some internal bleeding.”

“I can’t believe it! Coughing up blood is the only symptom of the mysterious blood-cough illness that is 100% fatal, and to think you contracted it!”

“This isn't funny.”

She started to dig a hole in the ground, presumably a grave for me.

In this new world, respect and common sense seem to be non-existent. As the only sane person, it is my duty to save the world.

...

But that can wait! I’m wasting too much time! I can’t just go around in a world of magic without magic.

“Alright, let's put a stop to these antics and let's get serious for a moment. I've been wondering how I can get stronger… and learn magic and stuff?”

She stopped digging and stared at me through her mask… I think.

“Well, let’s see your stats first.”

My what? Are you saying there’s a menu for me to see my own attributes and stuff, like from a video game?

“Yes, there exists a menu for you to see your own attributes and stuff.”

“How did you even read my- whatever. How do I pull it up?”

She stared at me as if I was an idiot. I can’t read masks, but that’s what it feels like.

“You’re even dumber than I thought. Just put out a hand and call out ‘Status’ to bring it up.”

“O-okay! Status!”

I did exactly as she told me, and to my surprise, it actually worked. There was a stats screen floating in the air for me to see. Just like a… video game.

Boles Bose | Age: 16 | Title: Novice

Strength: 15

Fortitude: 10

Intelligence: 5

Magic: 1

Luck: 20

Idiocy: 35

My luck and strength stats are pretty decent, but what on earth is “Idiocy?” How is that even a core stat? And why is my intelligence a measly 5? The worst offender is my magic! How do I have a 1 in that?

I’m fuming. There’s a separate table off on the side. I guess it won’t hurt to check. Maybe that’ll help me cool off.

Blessings (1):

Blessing of Blessings: You have a higher rate of obtaining random blessings.

Well, I’m sure that will be useful later. I’m more curious about the next one, though…

Abilities:

Dark Lord (1/500)

“Hey, Boles! Why do you have the Dark Lord’s powers?”

Scarlet was looking at my screen. Her voice was shaking a bit.

“Huh? I’m not too sure… I think it was from this, though.”

I pulled out the book that I had stolen earlier. Y’know. The one titled “Dark Lord’s Grimoire.”

I signed my name inside earlier, just in case I lost the book. You wouldn’t know because I did it offscreen.

She was so taken aback that even her mask fell off. She frantically looked around to see if anyone was nearby.

“What?! How did you even hide it?! Who gave it to you?! Do you understand how dangerous that book is?! Give it to me!”

We were playing tug of war with the dusty old book.

“N-no way! I’m going to become super powerful and stuff! This is my one chance at becoming cool! Don’t take my dreams away from me!”

Rip!

The cover broke, causing the ruptured papers to fall out and scatter across the floor. We stared at the mess that we had made.

…

Scarlet looked back at me with empty eyes.

“The book… the book’s been destroyed…”

She was the cause of this.

Evil must be punished.

“CHILD OBLITERATION KICK!!!”

“WAIT, I'M REALLY SOR-”

...

We sat around beside a tree in a temporary, awkward silence.

“This was for the best. Things could’ve gotten out of hand otherwise.”

Scarlet tried to console me... even though it was a hundred percent her fault.

“My life is over… my fantasy is ruined… I have nothing…”

I fell over. I was lying on the ground, curled up and covering my face to hide the tears.

The miserable me. When things turned out for the best, I was kicked out of the royal family. When things turned out for the best, my pathway to getting all the girls in the world was ripped apart.

If only the book was still-

Huh?

Is my imagination playing tricks on me right now?

“Hey, do you believe in miracles?”

“What? Why are you asking?”

I stood back up and showed her the old dusty grimoire. It appeared in my hands. I could tell it was the exact same. There were no traces of any ripped books, papers, nor covers around.

Scarlet took a moment to process the news. It must’ve been pretty bad because she dropped to her knees and clutched her head as if the situation was hopeless.

“Oh no. This… this only means one thing.”

“What? Tell me, please!”

“The Dark Lord’s Grimoire has merged with your soul. In other words, you’re the new Dark Lord.”

“🤯.”

This is so awesome.